It's Going to Rain, Better Board a Train!

So still stuck down below, thanks to the Bird on a Wire at my show. I decided to skip the cab and the stupid tab. Thanks to dVerse and Claudia's train call. I pulled a stowaway and jumped on as it passed a mall.

I know what your thinking, without even blinking. I could go all Silver Streak, Midnight Run, Money Train, Back to the Future III, Strangers on a Train and so on and so forth bringing the movie rain. But that affliction has passed for now and this train is going too fast any how. It seems I caught something as soon as I jumped on board though. Warning! This may hit a new low.

Won't you board the train with me?
What are you a-freight of? It's free.
Whoops! I lost my train of thought.
I may do that a lot.

You want to find the train I'm on?
Follow the tracks to my lawn.
I am glad I do not have to drive
I might lose track and no longer be alive.

The train is missing, oh no!
Just follow the tracks you know.
What? Can you take the train to your door?
It weighs a ton, so that could be a chore.

The train builders had to make tracks.
Suppose they gave them forty whacks?
Want to build some esteem?
Drive a train and you'll gleam.

I think this driver needs retraining.
Damn! It's still raining.
If walking on the tracks as you leave town.
Beware! You may feel run down.

What? The railroad seems kind of mad?
It's because you keep crossing it lad.
I think this post has derailed.
Oh! That one was nailed.

This train is loaded with beer.
That's why it's chugging along I fear.
Did I get sidetracked?
Maybe I got hacked?

There seems to be music near.
Oh it's Coltrane I hear.
You really thought you were sick?
After catching the mono-rail, what a hick.

So your dog came on board with you.
So you could train it to poo poo?
The train's engine would not go.
Diesel was too busy putting on a wrestling show.

The train was passed by a moose.
Seems it had a big caboose.
A thief stole a train.
His loco-motive was insane.

The conductor retired and got locked away.
It was because he went off the rails they say.
There was a safety issue.
But they covered their tracks with a tissue.

The train was fuming as it went by.
It was the high cost of gas, no lie.
A passenger was full of gloom.
He could not find his state-s room.

The next guy's excitement started snoring.
As "all a-bored" was yelled and he knew it was going to be boring.
But the train was filled with gum.
And everyone chew chewed off their bum.

Sorry if the River Puns Through It
I Pun Around a bit
Pun Lola Pun
With your Punaway Jury fun

So if you can't seem to get the facts of this one, at least I will not get a shun. As some of these were eye roll worthy for sure. But I just had to use them as I took the tour. Looks like I still have my train pass, if that's no good, a ticket will have to be bought by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. Pat Hatt,

    Do you also speak in rhymes?
    It could be a sign of the times.
    Apocalypse is on the way in 2012, so they say.
    I think we'll have forever and a day before Pat and Cat go away.

    I have long longed to see Nova Scotia.
    Tell me what it's like or I'll have to hurt ya.


  2. lol- You're too punny, Pat.


  3. I've been known to speak and dream in them once in a while
    As I can rhyme a mile
    haha riiiight
    I'll sleep good that night
    As that's a load of bullcrap
    For the cat and pat will be here still taking the rhyming lap..haha

    ummm wait for it to rain, get tons of alcohol, find a forest, light some bonfire and POOF your need to see NS is no longer dire. As you just went there, really it's kind of bare.

    Oh that was on the money
    Should have known a mouth would get runny with punny..haha

  4. Enjoyed the Pun Lola Pun..... er I mean the fun pun train...

    I like that insane loco-motive and conductor retiring ~

  5. Pat, your train ride is very much like that of the Runaway Train in Disney, where it is fun and laughter and not disaster at the end of the line.


  6. no LOLA he speaks in rhyme, pun and cliche, haha, nice play today coal cheaper than gas maybe i should convert back not forward, though it might be un toward to park my train in the drive, steam a puffin myght boil any low flying birds alive...i might be a bit off track at this point myself but at this junction i shant switchback, but mind the blinking lights and lowered arms as i def dont want you in my cow catcher...

  7. But the train was filled with gum.
    And everyone chew chewed off their bum.

    good one =)

  8. haha - this was the most charming, derailed train post i ever read...smiles...thanks for jumping on the train pat!

  9. I really enjoy visiting your words every week. Its like getting a moment for tea with the Hatter ;) Loved its entirety my friend ~ Rose

  10. I oftne think of a character on General Hospital when I read your work, he speaks as if his words jump from a book....another awesome write my friend

  11. My son would love this. He's all about trains and happy when it rains :0)

  12. Yes the puns can be fun
    Even if some are so bad you want to shoot me in the foot with a gun

    haha never been on that ride before
    Heck never been to nothing but a disney store
    Glad I could replicate it though
    With the train ride at my show

    Pun brilliantly I can too
    Isn't that nice of you

    haha yeah I can goa bit cliche
    Or pun and rhyme all in one day
    Coal cheaper than gas
    It is unknown to my little rhyming ass
    Bah a little off track
    But it still didn't lack
    Yeah I'll avoid your cow catcher too
    As those blinking lights give their cue

    haha yes gum came to me
    As I was done taking the train to my bush number three

    Sure was derailed
    Glad it never failed
    And was charming
    Without at all harming

    A pun is a ton
    Under the gun it's rather fun

    haha yeah I'm quite mad too
    So the hatter will do
    I see what you did there too
    Pat Hatter could be added to my character crew

    hahaha oh no a soap opera at my place
    I'll really have to disguise my face..haha

    More smiles
    They go on for miles

    Not so happy when it rains
    But I don't mind trains
    And rain beats snow
    Glad the pun train was enjoyed on the go

  13. Love the wordplay and references in here. Too many to list, not going to write a book reply this day and time, but I will point out a few, that I certainly like and did amuse. Diesel- wow, that was a flash to the past, you easily could have gone with Vin and either went all riddick or Fast and Furious-which ever edition you could have chose, but wrestling, now that was cool- Yeah I used to watch every week, three times Monday Night Raw, then Smackdown and I'd also tape the TNT stuff when that was on.

    The moose remark made me laugh- as I think of a story some local told me when I was working up in Maine. They said how Moose commonly roam free through whatever part of Canada was but some miles from Bangor, but it was funny as I guess the person was serious, when they said, if you offend a moose you go straight to jail- They said Canadians love their moose- Which I laughed but anyhow, went on a bit of a tangential trip right there.

    Great piece, lots of humor on those tracks, choo choo

  14. No all time low, so you're good.
    Just keep spinning those rhymes
    like you always do :)

  15. Maybe when I hear Gladys tonight she'll sing about a Midnight Train
    at least one refrain!
    We're all about trains here with my boys
    they love them more than any toys.
    I'd love to ride the Orient Express
    since I hear it's one of the best!

  16. I love this! :) As always lots of fun!!!!!!!

  17. I freakin love trains, and when you add nonsense to it, it's even better!Well done.

  18. Hi! Pat Hatt...
    Where I'm currently, living it looks cloudy and like it's going to "rain"...Therefore, I quite enjoyed reading your post about "Trains."

    Hmmm...Now, I must go and prepare some "Bagel and Lox" as I try to refrain from watching "Hitchcock's" "Strangers on a Train" for what seems like the umpteenth time, but unfortunately, your post now have me with Hitchcock on my mind! lol

    Thanks, for sharing!
    deedee ;-D

  19. Pat Hatt...I have returned to your blog and I don't want to seem as if I'm in a "fog."
    However, if a person want to purchase your book there is no need to own an iPad, Kindle, or B&N Nook?

    [Non-Rhyming Mode:I'm just asking?
    Because electronic books are now, the answer to hard cover books and I know a couple Of authors who are now, selling e-books only on their blogs. I have a feeling that your book is just PDF form to be read on Microsoft Office Word?!?]

  20. What I said...
    Where I'm currently, living it looks cloudy and like it's going to "rain"...Therefore, I quite enjoyed reading your post about "Trains."

    and what I wish I would have said...
    Where I'm currently, living it looks cloudy and like it's going to "rain" and since I'm inside ...I quite enjoyed sitting here and taking the time to read your post about "Trains." lol

  21. Full of punnies and a couple of groans (a good train ride gives both). Pun Lola Pun as fast as you can sassy cat.

  22. haha yeah I thought about Fast and the Furious as I went on my ride
    But pushed that aside
    As the wrestling one popped in
    Some might see that as a sin
    But I also used to watch it long ago
    When I was young and thought it was real, every blow
    Still watched it a bit later on
    Now it's just crap that can be gone
    The moose would be NB I think
    Yeah some will hit the brink
    If you do anything to the moose
    They'll want to cook your goose
    Not sure on the laws though
    But there are many from olden days that are weird, which I'm sure you know
    Never fear
    Tangential trips are fun with your cheer

    Oh they wil keep on spinning
    Whether I'm nice or sinning..haha

    haha maybe she will
    But I still want her to climb the grapevine hill
    Just so it will get stuck in your head for a while
    Oh aren't I vile..haha
    Yeah that is supposed to be the best
    Maybe one day you'll give it a test
    I knew as soon as I saw train
    Through your boys you'd have already been down that lane
    A time or a thousand or so
    With all those pictures at your show..haha

    Lots of fun
    Even when I pun
    Under the sun
    And I do it a ton

    hahahaha oh nonsense is a good way to put it
    With my train rhyming fit

    With the title of your blog
    I fear Hitchcock is always in your brain fog
    I just helped it along
    Adding Strangers on a Train to my train song

    Yes it's just pdf and can be read on most of those two
    But one isn't needed by you
    Just some pdf reader which is free
    Most computers have it somewhere to help people read and see
    Yep electronic is the new way
    Causing the trees less dismay..haha

    hahaha yes groans can be found on my train
    But there was fun to dull the pain
    I will as fast as I can too
    For I wouldn't want to cross a train, it's true

  23. LOL! When it comes to funny poetry, you sure don't need training wheels. :)

  24. Fantastic ride... I bet nothing can be more better :)
    u r a good driver too !!

  25. haha yep those training wheels are no more
    They left on a cross country tour

    I suppose I'm not bad
    Even when those nuts make me mad..haha


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