This Could Delight Or Death Threats It Could Incite!

As I was going to St. Ives, I met a cat who claimed to have ten lives. He was rather rude, yet seemed to be in a delightful mood. He asked me "what was up eh" and I told him to stuff his hay. I mean did I look like a cow? Making him think I needed hay some how?

It was clear he was trying to make fun of me but I just ignored him and went to flee. Speaking of that, he seemed to be one dirty cat. So I had to know and asked how someone like him had an extra life grow.

He spoke about how through his days, from darkened nights to basking in sunny rays, he had lost eight of his lives. I guess one was to a case of hives. Now he was one away from zero and knew he was some legendary hero. One plus zero was ten and now he had more lives at his den.

I told him he must be doing that American math and then he jumped in my path. He told me he would find bush number three and take a life from little old me. Then demanded I take it back or he would go up around Alaska and find my shack.

I laughed at him with such glee that he quickly ran up a tree. He came back with a rocket launcher on his back, telling me he was going to go on the attack. I asked if he was trying to over compensate for something and in the air his hands did fling.

"You making fun of my country?" he said, his eyes popping out of his head. I told him I was simply making fun of him for being so dim. Then continued to stroll on my way and he waited until I was a few feet away. He shouted to me, "So when you get lost and lose count, can I make fun of you?"

I turned and smiled, "Sure, because then I'd be an American too."

As per usual at my vault, this is by no means meant to insult. Just some facts I had in my head and figured I would go where they led. But if you want to go up around Alaska and find bush number three, go ahead as I like your geography. I heard that once more the other night, gave me such a fright. But alas I guess that was a boring class, so now no one can find my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. I enjoyed this! And that's all
    I'm going to say in this first call,
    So I do not spoil anything
    For those perplexed by this here fling!

  2. An American Cat with its American maths
    Can a Canadian feline do just as well
    Then it'll be 2 felines having a spat
    Meowing and scratching making a din like hell


  3. you know, it's never really a good sign when you start talking to cats (and opossums especially) in the street. Your own house, OK, but street is a big no :P
    Now, I'm off to talk with my cat a bit, we have some serious topics to discus!

  4. Fun post Pat.

    I always get stuck trying to rhyme with purple or I'd make my blog material rhyme.

    Ok, I don't have enough talent for that.

  5. Maybe they think Alaska is next to Maine?
    Or that geography is just a real pain?
    Yes, I would say you are safe for now
    as they look all over for Nova Scotia
    in the wrong ocean, too
    I'm sure that is amusing to you!

  6. Alas, a lot of Americans think Canada and Alaska are pretty much the same because (they think) both are 100% covered with snow all year round. The only difference -- to the uninformed, I stress -- is that in Canada, everyone speaks French in addition to English.

  7. Orlin, do you speak French?
    you probably think it's a sinch
    I only know 'wee' and 'croissant'
    but with a midwestern accent to be blunt
    I bet you have to take French in school
    is that the usual rule?

  8. haha didn't want to spoil today
    Then there is no confusion at play
    Except for those who think
    Bush number 3 is near an Alaskan rink..haha

    Yes that would be quite the fight
    But the cat would win any night
    Any plight
    As he's got bite

    haha not so sure about your math
    Just had to use something so he'd jump in my path..haha

    Oh I'm loonie toons already
    Good and steady
    So talking to a cat on the street
    Is just another crazy feat..haha
    Hopefully your cat answer back
    And doesn't go on the attack

    With purple I got nurple(if that counts) and burble right off hand
    The rest are a tad bland
    And near rhyme
    Like maybe fertile but that's a crime

    Yes they will never find me
    As much as they rant and rave that I cheat and they will come to see
    And beat me up
    Sure they'll run into a hiccup
    So amusing it is
    The nuts who speak over the videogame mic biz

    hahaha yes that seems to be true
    Alot think we are always white and not blue
    Even live in an igloo
    And have to go outside to use the loo
    Actually it's more two official languages that we have and everything you buy has to be stated in both
    At least that's the supposed oath
    I only remember how to ask to go to the bathroom
    hahaha can tell what I did when french class began to loom..hahaha

  9. Yep as with above
    We are made to take french with oh so much love
    pfffft stupid crap
    Gave me time to take a nap
    Then when the test came
    The teacher was quite loony and tame
    That we all just did a little cheat
    And boom it was beat..haha
    Thus my only known phrase
    Of going to the loo in the french maze..haha

  10. I guess if you only have one phrase to know
    that would be the one with which to go
    More important than any other
    the other stuff..why bother?

    Did you say they'd run into a hiccup?
    That would be complete nuts
    if it was a loud obnoxious one like mine
    sounding like a seal or goose or swine.
    But maybe they would get scared and run away
    and forget trying to track you down the Alaska way.

  11. Betsy, dear, quite frankly,
    I really have to doubt
    That anything "obnoxious"
    Could issue from
    your mouth!

  12. You obviously haven't heard my hiccups
    they would certainly make you laugh
    that is after you got over the shock
    at the terrible sounding gaffe!

  13. haha yep it's the one phrase to know
    The rest never seemed to grow
    As I just had no want to learn it
    Why bother when I can take a rhyming fit..haha
    haha I guess I'll just get you to block their path
    And let them suffer your hiccup wrath
    Then they'd run away
    And wouldn't even get to the opposite side of the country, thinking it was my bay

    Awww sucking up once more
    Thought you were over that tour..haha
    Not really though
    Knew it would once again show

    hahaha Oh I'd laugh for sure
    And then laugh some more

  14. hiccup wrath....laughed out loud at that one!

  15. Love the way you always manage to rhyme so damn easily :) :)

  16. ha. nice come back cat, better watch who you spew at, them may be fighting words and find yourself on the what was it you did in french class? smiles.

  17. haha just don't start an avalanche
    If you hiccup near some Alaskan ranch
    That would not be good
    Avoid mountains with your hiccups you should

    haha glad as I closed in
    It wasn't a sin

    Yes it gets easier and easier
    Maybe a bit cheesier
    As I go on
    And new ideas dawn

    Yes if it was a big scary person in front of me
    I would just flee
    Might pull out a gun
    Then I'd be done
    Played cards mostly in french glass
    The french junk I took a pass
    Then had my book open on the floor
    So always got a high test score..haha

  18. Oh No You Didn't LOL

    I can see it now, millions of american cats, primed up from this piece and a few back to back viewings of the South park Movie, come hunting down bush #3, over near the Alaskan Border tree, when they get stumped by the lack of cats, they stop to ask some Geese- yep Canadian Geese. They ask them for directions where this cat's bush is prey tell- So the Geese are puzzled by the Ado, but they agree to direct them to, so they tell the cats to follow the icy paths and just keep "bearing straight" and soon they're sure they find this Cat they hate.

    Pretty funny. Math & Geography actually, from my experience, are subjects that many Americans are pretty bad at.

    Misconceptions are so ripe for fun. Buffalo gets the snow and ice thing all the time- or the best are the comments, "oh I love NYC, you're so lucky to be able to go to NYC every day if you want" I just laugh. NYC is 6-7 hrs drive from here.

    Entertaining as usual Pat, thanks

  19. The cat must have been grungy indeed at that advanced age.

  20. Those damn geese would honk and give me away
    But they still don't know exactly where I stay
    For if they get to close
    I treat them like a mouse
    And they become chow
    With one simple pow
    Oh I can really tell the geography part
    Seems many I meet, not all, but many have a brain fart
    Math I just used to let it flow
    Guess my psychicness just had me in the know..haha
    hahaha well you can still go every day
    Just will be to tired to play
    But that gas bill might not thrill
    May have to push your car up a hill..haha

    Yes quite grungy he was
    So I made fun just because

  21. you know - some politicians behave like they have nine lives...or more...and for the math...this math guy i always confuse with your character which i forgot the name would come in handy...smiles...and i was talking about words on my post...

  22. I'm happy to let people make fun of me for my lack of skills re: geography. :) Fun post!

  23. Americans and our math. Sigh...I think that cat works in my accounting department because I had a HUGE disceprancy yesterday. LOL This is too funny :P

  24. True never thought of it like those dumb political windbags
    They throw lives away like rags
    I think they should have run out long ago
    And no longer their face should show
    Yes Drazin, your math guy could help
    My Drazin would just make them yelp

    hahaha yeah I'm the same
    Let them make fun of me with their foolish game
    I'll take it in stride
    And turn the tide..haha

    hahaha thankfully my cat can count
    So there is usually no big amount
    In my accounting stuff
    Just the same old fluff
    Hopefully you fire that American furball
    And throw him down the hall..haha

  25. So, I must say
    I never tire of the way
    You bring many smiles
    every single time
    I stop to read for awhile

  26. Ha..ha... I would rather not comment on American cats or lives or Alaska. Fun post, I take it ~

  27. Cats and rocket launchers... Only you can come up with these! LOL

  28. Glad the smiles come
    Delights my little rhyming bum..haha

    Oh you scared of the American cat
    He was more dirty than a rat
    So never fear
    You won't get you with his rocket launcher gear..haha

    hahahaha only me
    Awww isn't it nice to see
    My originality
    Through crazy cat rhyming personality..haha

  29. yo case fred stops by...i can not comment on his poems right now...they just disappear when i hit post...sorry fred, blogger sucks but it seems to be isolated to embedded commenting and then only some...

  30. Yeah the same thing happens to me over there too, he knows, as the cat tweeted him about Blogger's stupid crap
    Seems to go into the abyss comment trap


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