Another Nut! Why Can't I Just Attract A Mutt?

I guess it's my rhyming stuff or simply how I huff and puff, for all the cat seems to find, are crazy people following my behind. Oh never fear. Brian, Betsy, LMF, Elisa, Fred and the many others aren't the topic of this cheer. What you thought they were? Hmmm that could ruffle their crazy umm lack of fur.

And moving on, I long for the days of just being chased by a dog at my lawn. Now it seems I found a whole pack and brain shuts is surely on the attack. For each stranger I came across, with danger they seemed to be at a loss.

The first guy thought he was so clever,
Trying to prove a point with his endeavor.
He ran with scissors down the hall.
Slipped on a banana and stabbed himself as he went for a great fall.
Let's just say something won't be rising any more,
As when he stood up it was not just a banana lying on the floor.

Another lass thought see was being nice.
No longer satisfied with feeding ducks a slice.
So she went and fed a bear,
Let's just say she no longer has any hair.

The next nut tried to traverse thin ice,
And he paid the price.
Now he's the man in blue.
A carnival act performing for all of you.

This mook was just plain ewww.
He wanted to prove pissing in the wind untrue.
Let's just say he now is wise,
But still might have a burning feeling in his eyes.

Another crossed the road without looking.
A pine box she is now booking.
It's just so sad and too bad.
That robot dog was such a clever lad.

Want to see a human roll like an animal at the zoo?
Then playing with fire is due.
He stopped, he dropped, he rolled.
Luckily the fire was controlled.
For now no eyebrow guy,
Can also give the circus a try.

Then this mook talked to a stranger,
I guess he mistook him for the Lone Ranger.
When really Zorro it was and if I can give one tip.
From his response forget about any enjoyment from a whip.

Glad I kept my distance from this frightful show. I guess these brain shuts nuts were just not in the know. But they learned the facts the hard way and hopefully in their head they will stay. Before they get to trying laughing gas and really annoy my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. This reminds me of that Eazy E song gimmee that nutt but I guess, that your rhymes impress so I digress.

  2. HAHA! YeamieWaffles comment is AWESOME!

  3. Then this mook talked to a stranger,
    I guess he mistook him for the Lone Ranger.
    When really Zorro it was and if I can give one tip.
    From his response forget about any enjoyment from a whip.

    Uhhh... since I constantly list Zorro and The Lone Ranger as two of my three childhood role models, I'm really wondering about that one...

  4. Nicely done Pat.

    After watching more and more Elmo's world these days, slipping on a banana hunor is right up my alley.

  5. hahaha..Looks like you can open your own little freak show!! I would pay to see a no eyebrow pooch with blue skin that slips on a need to thank me when you get rich off your circus dog-show. I'll even donate a few acts myself!

  6. haha don't know if I heard that one
    But you rhymed and nicely done

    haha comments are such fun
    Here at my rhyming sun

    hahaha Lone Ranger rhymed quite well
    And because of you thought of Zorro as I continued to tell
    From my mind it dropped
    And his whip sorta flopped..haha

    I watched enough of those shows to last a lifetime
    Elmo's and the wiggles and that other stuff should be labeled a crime..haha

    Yes I'm sure you can find a few acts
    With all the nuts surrounding your tracks
    If I get rich I'll give you a cut
    Even let my no eyebrow pooch with blue skin that slips on a banana sniff your butt..haha

  7. Whew! Being the self-centered soul that I am, I combined that with the fact that I wasn't one of those listed at the beginning of your post, and thought "Gee, have I done something to offend that little fur-ball?"

  8. Darwin award material people right here. :P

  9. haha oh well if I knew you wanted to be a crazy person that bad
    I would have went adn gave you an add..hahaha
    Fur-ball never takes offence to much here
    So never fear
    You can be with the crazies if you like
    And the fur-ball will never say to take a hike..haha

    hahaha sooo true
    They'd win by a landslide just from one view

  10. ouch on the scissor to the banana, yeah i know it aint one butt, nope aint the but either, but yeesh these might hurt a bit, def darwin awards hits...which is a funny book if you have not read, to get stuck in your rhyming head..

  11. Ah, all those rules our parents taught
    still some kids refused and balked.
    chew your food before you swallow
    suddenly doesn't sound so hollow
    Still I always laughed at
    don't make that face or it will stick like that,
    or arthritis you will get for cracking your knuckles
    that one always gave me a chuckle.
    But be careful and don't touch
    a hot stove will hurt too much
    and then there's your favorite of all
    wash your hands before leaving the stall

  12. haha yeah they might hurt just a bit
    And would make some seem like a twit
    Going into a fit
    When something gets chopped or hit
    Everything gets stuck in my rhyming head
    Glad it's big or it would cause such dread

    Forgot about the food one
    Could have used that for my fun
    The knuckle thing surely is one I've heard
    But don't believe a word
    Maybe instead of face my brain got stuck
    And now I'm just a rhyming duck..haha
    Yes both cats should learn not to go near the stove though
    When it's on at my show
    The last is the best
    That one I take care of way more than the rest
    Except never use a public stall
    I'll wait until I'm home to answer that call..haha

  13. How about
    Wash your hands all the time
    you don't need a reason or rhyme
    Better safe than sorry
    or you'll catch a germ in a hurry.

  14. Did the bear give her a haircut? How nice of him!

  15. ahh... The words of the late Ronnie James Dio never seem so wise as they do now, "Don't talk To Strangers." ...but then you'd miss out on all the fun-lol

    Love the fun in this piece, The John Wayne Bobbitt thing was a nice touch- should referenced his ill-fated stab at porn-lol

    The pissing in the wind cracked me up, I remember a buddy of mine thought he wasn't going to make it home after the bar the one night years ago so he goes off around the corner and when he comes back his shirts all wet- he still doesn't hear the end of that.

    Last note: I love the piece because it's so the thing a cat would say. I know mine are plotting out their spots to hide from all the kiddies coming on halloween already... They hate it when anyone new comes about...Sure most dogs love people...not mine though, well Toby at least, he tells everyone off until he gets to know you-

    Fun piece, thanks

  16. Adults like to keep kids
    Like scared little rabbits.
    They say stuff like this
    To cure us of bad habits!

  17. haha that will surely do the trick
    Avoiding those things that make you sick

    Yeah he was so nice
    I think he also gave her lice

    hahaha those words are very wise
    Guess one should just wear a disguise
    So they can't find you
    Them and their strange crew
    I can imagine he'd never live that down
    That just be nasty walking back with that all over town
    Just made me cringe too
    But soo funny that it's true
    Yeah they don't like company at all
    They run and hide at my stall
    Giving anyone who comes a growl and evil stare
    Sometimes even sticking up their back hair
    Some dogs are much the same
    Although they still tend to play the barking game

  18. hahahaha I think that one kind of back fired
    For the bump a watermelon never sired

  19. Now we know how the Blue Man Group got their start!

  20. LMAO! Thanks for the mention :0)

    You couldn't have written this at a better time. I feel like I can relate. I just got a love letter from a woman who recently found my blog *ack* LOL!

  21. haha oops I did not mean to spoil that for you
    Those blue men might come and sue

    Ack indeed
    I'd take hate mail any time over the lovey dovey stuff at my feed
    Which I have gotten once or twice
    But I find it oh so nice
    No problem mentioning you as a crazy
    But so am I so I know the line between crazy and not is hazy

  22. Nobody was so insensible he poked his eyes out with a pencil?


  23. I continue to enjoy your rhymes! Thank you so much! Loved the scissors bit! And the Lone Ranger and Zorro are very similar!
    I use to rhyme in my comments.
    But now I don't I hope that is no offence!

  24. Slipped on a banana and stabbed himself as he went for a great fall.
    Let's just say something won't be rising any more
    Great verse! Enjoyed reading it :)

  25. Ha! Do you speak in rhyme, as well? I'm so dang impressed every time I stop by. As if it's not hard enough to just come up with a topic to write about, you have to make it all rhyme. Simply amazing!

  26. yes, always blame the banana.... pffff ....

  27. Yeah, pat, nasty indeed. I had to sit next to him on the ride home lol

  28. Yeamie! Tsk! Eazy can impress too!

  29. Oh damn that would hurt
    Did nobody make the blood spurt
    Or did the eye just pop out
    Are a little twist to his shout

    No need to rhyme with your chime
    Sometimes just not in your prime
    Glad you enjoyed the scissors bit
    Yeah the two are similar in there own type of character pit

    hahaha I guess that one went over rather well
    Hmmm what does that tell

    No I can compartmentilize my personna's quite well
    So I don't make many people go what the hell
    Rhyming as I speak
    That could make things in work life go rather bleak...haha
    But it's still nice to amaze
    Thanks for having a gaze

    Okay maybe it was an apple he fell on
    I was just trying to be nice at my lawn

    Wow you good..haha
    Quite that I should

    Yeah that be worse
    My ocd would continually curse

    I suppose he can impress
    Thank I can confess

    Glad I can flow
    Here at my show

  30. I thought you said "Brian, Betsy, MILF, Elisa, Fred..." haha.

  31.'s all fun and games till someone puts out an eye! But please, dear cat, what is a 'mook'?

  32. those are some epic ryhmes dude :D

  33. haha someone had their mind in the gutter last night
    Was there some MILF in sight

    How does one put out an eye?
    Wouldn't it be put in if it were to fry.
    A mook is a male who acts like a moronic bonehead
    Which Drazin is as he tries to cause dread

    Epic is fun
    And must be done


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