Bumper To Bumper. Never Fear, The Cat Is Not A Leg Humper!

So it seems everything was screaming at me to go all bumper cars my way. From a certain crazy bloggers two giving a boy a thrill the other day, to Brian at the dVerse way. So I will now have to have my bumper sticker say. Of course with my usual fun. So here we go on a bumper sticker run.

Pat shoved us in a cage and took us for a trip, to the place with tons of cats that I give plenty of lip, and I looked out the window at the cars passing by. On every few I spotted a bumper sticker or two with my little rhyming eye.

I guess you would drive with your feet. That be kind of neat.

I guess I talk a ton, as I have quite the gas gun.

Oh damn! We'll be stuck here forever. Blondes don't seem too clever.

I suppose that's a usual thing. I bet your finger is tied off with lots of string.

Depends on how it is percieved I guess. But a prick can make quite the mess.

You can't remember shit? Or to shit? Either way must cause a fit.

How would you do that? Bag it and walk around with it like a hat? Until you found one and then hope you could hit it as you run.

Yes that vacuum cleaner sure does suck. Or did you mean my truck?

We would be here all day, seems to be many at play.

I know poor me, no one likes me at my rhyming sea.

So if it doesn't piss me off at all, does that mean you have hit a wall.

Made you look was not good enough? I bet you think you are tough.

haha oh so true. Most do not have a clue.

At least you have a style. Losing always isn't so vile.

Pucker up buttercup.

And you answered the phone to find out? Well idiot don't pout.

Maybe that is why mutts chase them away. I guess that are good for something at least once a day.

haha too bad you couldn't throw them out as easy. Especially those that are sleazy.

So if you use each hand. I guess you are grand?

I did not know you could scream out your ass. You do know by sending it to the trunk it won't work as gas?

Yeah I agree, your opinion can't be heard at my sea.

At first glance, could be quite the stance.

I guess you lose. Blame the booze.

With those heads up there in yours that land is full. Maybe you could push and pull.

Either way put it back. That thing could fit a wall plaque.

Que the violin. That's why pigeons always win. Oops I just ate one. I guess I ruined their fun.

haha I won't even go there. Those two P's are quite the pair.

That is easy to do. Still put it back, not something I want to see from you.

I'm sure there is a reason. Oh wait! We're in America, step on a crack and commit treason..hahaha

And there you go in the ditch. I guess you now have time to scratch your phone itch.

Is that legal to do? Maybe some woman will want to grow a few.

Been there done that. Guess being loonie means I'll never be a fully broke cat.

Certaintly not your brain. As you think you are in Spain.

This one is a loaded suggestion. Dare I ask what it is in question?

Haha maybe that's the problem of Pat, at least he has the cat.

Then I guess we have to let it all hang out. That would be scary no doubt.

Ewww you really need to go to the zoo. You would sell tickets just by going moo.

Yeah you are only half hot. P.S. that is not really a beauty spot.

So there were all the bumper stickers scene on the road with Pat. The facts of these seem rather crude to the cat. I guess cars like their bumper not to be a stumper. For any mook can get most of these. Unless their brain is truly upon the high seas. That is all of today's bumper sass and off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. hahaha...i dont know if i can even rhyme i am laughing so hard at your commentary...some bumper thumper fun, drive with your feet so you can use your gun? only half hot, its a hoot, wont give your rhyming ass the boot, i'd say more but my 2 cents got taxes, and the banks charged me the other half just for using it, out of money experience...now out of words, how absurd?

  2. I'm exhausted having to run through these
    If bumper stickers could be recalled with ease
    I would want a few for each wonderful day
    I need not then have to think on what to say


  3. hahaha oh yeah they'll tax your last two cents
    For some sort of account fee rents
    Glad I won't get the boot
    With my bumper thumper toot
    Not absurd to be out of words
    Just ask the birds
    As they are going to get shit on
    Still think that's a long con

    Yes they could be used for daily use
    Although I think many would suffer abuse
    I guess I could recall them like my movie stuff
    But doing two at once would be a bit rough

  4. Orlin, I'm glad you were reading these and not Pat
    or the red chevy would have gone splat.
    Laughing here
    oh what fun and cheer
    actually your lines were better than the stickers
    as your wit is much quicker!

  5. We love you Mr Patt, and you know that. Wow that was a never ending list but each was really fun and grand. Where did you collect them! I have always wondered why would people use the f word, as if that is a bad thing especially why would you want to do it on somebody you don't like.

  6. Well worth the wait
    but please don't tailgate....

  7. haha - nice collection here...i' m glad i'm not blonde...and seriously...i think part of you IS incredible...smiles

  8. Pat, I laughed my ass off here. Absolutely hilarious stickers and your comments just killed it. I actually had to stop reading and go back after the laughter let, the pigeon one just made me lose focus, was having a laughing fit- anyhow, great job and great take on the bumper sticker themed game

  9. the fart one is positively delightful (if ur ten feet away, naturally) :)

  10. Oh, the pigeon imagery is just wrong... hee hee

    Incredible fun as always.

    Signed, Beth (the postal worker poet :)

  11. oh my god. these are too funny, and your comments afterward had me rolling. this prompt really brought out something special in your work, pat. this is great.

  12. Great Day to read all of these. I have at least
    5 fav here and really funny! Well written
    made the read smooth all the way to the beauty
    spot. Humor helps a lot.

  13. I would not mind having these on my car.

    ... If I had a car.

  14. Heeyy sunday's supposed to be a chill ass day, yet you blog a post with a massload of bumper chatter collected through your day. Guess you had your morning jog, then? Feeling as fresh as a new space station crew, I say, don't forget to drink your water, mal-nutrition and de-hydration can be quite a bother!

  15. this was so good, i tweeted out for people to read this. I NEVER do that. in fact, i'll post it on my facebook page facebook.com/tammy/gordin

  16. Yes but I could not snap pictures at the same time
    I guess I'm not in my prime
    You beat me at that
    As Pat or I would have made it truly go splat..haha
    Much quicker as they can't top me
    I can always beat the bumper sticker fairy..haha

    Yeah I thought about that too
    I get see telling them to go f themselves at their own zoo
    But others is kind of like what
    So I just call them a fing nut
    I collected them here and there
    Just used Google for such an affair

    Never fear there is no tailgating here
    If I get near
    I pass the slowpokes
    The damn slow driving blokes

    But don't blondes have more fun
    Or is that over used a ton
    Part of me is incredible you say
    Oh isn't that nice to hear at my bay

    haha yeah the pigeon one would be hard to do
    That be way too much work to hit them with ones poo
    hahaha I made you stop and come back
    That's good wouldn't want to cause a heart attack..haha

    Unless your down wind a ways
    Then you might want to be twenty feet from the farting craze

    hahaha 333 might not be so nice
    If 666 was the going price

    hahaha yes it is just all wrong
    I think someone was huffing a bong
    When they came up with that
    Not something that will be tried by Pat or the cat

    Yeah after I saw the prompt it just popped in my head
    And then out came the bumper sticker stuff I said
    Hopefully you didn't knock anything over rolling about
    That might make one pout

    Yes humor I seem to be able to do
    Here at my rhyming zoo
    Of course the bumper stickers helped a bit
    For this little smooth fit

    haha prob get smacked for having some
    But it would delight my little rhyming bum
    At least there is no payment to be had
    For that you can be glad

    Bah it's a holiday up here
    So Monday will be my chill ass day to peer
    Actually it was a morning walk
    But it may as well be a jog because I don't talk
    And just go go go
    Collector bumper stickers don't you know
    Apple juice is all I drink
    Water just goes down the sink
    But plenty of it
    So de-hydration will never hit

    Never to that you say
    Damn I feel special my way
    Thank's a lot for all the attention
    And every single mention

  17. You found some really funny ones!

  18. Loved it all except the one about the blonde. Regarding the hokey pokey, please put it away. Always a great laugh reading your little rhyming ass.

  19. No sticker on my bumper.
    It's as blank as my tiny brain.
    I'll have my tea with a crumpet.
    Then sing my little refrain.

    Oh bumper stickers bore me.
    Even the best in the land.
    Though Pat can make them funny,
    I'm simply not a fan.

    Life sucks. Oh. Just mine?
    Must you point it out every time I get behind?
    Sterilize stupid people?
    I once failed a test.
    And I'm the village idiot.
    Just give my self-esteem a rest.

    No need to be so nasty.
    We can have fun and still be sassy.
    Screaming insults to the world
    Only proves who's the real turd.


  20. Yeah found quite a few
    For all to come and view

    hahaha oh the blonde remark wasn't at you
    You are smarter than many, that you knew..haha
    Glad it's fun reading my little rhyming ass
    No matter how rude or crass

    Yes once you see them once
    Just makes the person seem a tad like a dunce
    I refrain from using them too
    Just because if something bad I do
    Someone will remember that sticker
    And The cop lights will flicker
    And poof I'll get caught for speeding or whatever quicker
    Then I'd have to go and bicker..haha

  21. Well we all know Pat can bicker
    like he's been drinking liquor.
    Nobody can do it quicker,
    not even a vicar.
    And his rants will make you snicker
    as you sit in your chair of wicker.
    your laugh will make a candle flame flicker
    and tax your poor little ticker.
    yes,reading the rants is funner than wearing knickers
    or even a rain slicker
    because your punch line is always the kicker!

  22. haha yes little rhyming ass
    Does show I'm full of some sort of gas
    Whether that be crass
    Or about a bass
    I never get stuck at an impasse
    Always able to bicker with lad or lass
    As they come to trespass
    To try and top my rhyming mass
    But they'll never beat my sass
    Oh and make sure that wicker is first class
    You wouldn't want to laugh, then go oh strat, as through the chair goes your ass..hahaha

  23. Oh, no...I remember the last post
    about not buying cheap as shopping you go!
    Chair that break
    when you laugh and shake
    would not be good!
    Get hurt you could!
    And yes, one could yell Strat!
    and people would think you were a crazy bat.

  24. haha I once saw a rather large person break a chair
    I laughed and she gave me an evil stair
    It was the chairs fault though
    It was just her that struck the final blow
    Oh that was funny
    Watching as she went plop and the chair broke in pieces, she did not get up fast and hop like a bunny..hahaha

  25. This was as fun
    as raping a dying nun.
    Im twisted...oh well
    it looks like i'm going to hell

  26. hahaha yes I think you may go to hell for that
    Watch out for a blood sucking bat

  27. I think I'll be laughing the rest of the night!

  28. http://lovepats.blogspot.com/
    keeps trying to leave comments, but can't...
    trying anonymously...

    holy mackerel
    this is quite the collectoral
    took you some time
    to make all this rhyme!

  29. You should name these ''cynic stickers''.

  30. Oh that is funny. It would be too hard not to laugh
    at her terrible gaff.
    She shouldn't have tried to sit
    if she thought the chair would throw a fit.
    At least she didn't get stuck.
    I saw that once and the chair stayed on her butt
    when she stood up!

  31. haha hope you at least get some sleep
    Wouldn't want you to get none and blame my rhyming keep..haha

    Yeah blogger is being a pain
    Just know you aren't the only one popping a vein
    It did take some time to get all the pics up
    The rhymes, as always, came out without a hiccup

    Yes that is what they are
    But many near and far
    Think they are so grand
    They slap them on and hope others give them a hand

    hahaha yes I laughed at her a ton
    I don't like her anyway, so added an extra one
    Thankfully she did not get stuck
    Then she would look like a waddling duck
    Expecting everyone to pull it off her butt
    Not this rhyming nut..haha
    hahaha that must have been a sight to see too
    Too bad you did not have your camera on you..haha

  32. Well, that was a bit of fun. And, though I'm not much into bumper stickers, there were a few that cracked me up (as well as your two cents below each one). Always a good time with Pat and his cat :)

  33. Yeah, you wouldn't want to be the one to pull!
    the momentum could send you in a whirl
    straight to the ground
    and them you'd frown
    still holding the chair
    and trying not to swear.

  34. ROLF....
    The best one was "Take revenge, shit on a pigeon"
    hehehehe ;)

  35. haha yeah I don't use the things at my hall
    Just used the pics to have a ball
    My two cents is always better though
    That you know..haha

    hahaha yes that would be bad
    No fun to be had
    Then I'd just go strat for an hour
    And prob feel dirty and take shower..haha

    Yes still don't know how that can be done
    But it is a good one

  36. I know I can always come here for a laugh! Thanks!!!

  37. Not a problem at all
    A laugh can be had here at my stall

  38. My favorite is "Don't worry what people think. They don't do it often." LOL. :)

  39. Yes that one is so true
    Mind's the same as a loo

  40. almost complete collections,
    plus rhyming and witty sentences,

    one of the most thoughtful entry.

  41. Glad your enjoyed the entry
    As I went all bumer sticker sentry


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