Everyone Took A Stroll Because Of A Troll!

So the cat was all hunkered down with the lights low, practicing my hiding and peeking out the window. For I knew Halloween night was coming and around will come all those kids bumming. The cat does not like company at bush number three. It is just too bad the nuts keep falling like leaves off a tree.

A rapid knocking came at the door, with a voice that sung out across the floor. I had enough of this thing when the buzzer he began to ring. So I opened the door with a bat, ready to make him go splat. There stood one ugly troll, who went on about some toll.

"Pay the troll a hefty toll or be forced to watch as all die and leave you my little four legged guy."

Riiiight! I slammed the door in his face not even saying good night. Then I started to shine and things were no longer fine. It was so bright I closed my eyes. Looking back a word to the wise, don't piss off a troll, it is not a lofty goal.

I opened them up and there I was in a house. The thing was not even livable enough for a mouse. It smelled so rank and even had a rotted fish tank. The floor creaked at every turn and my nostrils were really starting to burn. But before I could take it all in, I scattered as glowing things started appearing all over this huge garbage bin.

They looked as confused as I and some even started to cry. I guess they said no to the troll as well and he damned us all to this hell. Yet through the crowd I saw a familiar few and figured this could not be true. As soon as Daydreamer said "bloody wanker" out loud. I knew I was seeing some of the usual crowd.

Bersercules was going well berserk on the door. It seemed to be stuck and that is when things got worse by a whole lot more. It seems with all his slamming and damning the floor below him gave way causing all to pray. For he was impaled by a spike, something very few seemed to like. Except one overbearing voice who said "We have no choice. We refused to pay the toll now escaping with our lives was the goal. Have fun! It has begun."

Brian and Betsy began to repo the door, watching carefully not to fall through the floor. Eliza shouted for her brother to show himself right now! I guess she thought it was a prank some how. LMF was also quite the talker, she kept yelling about some stalker.

Waffles kept asking if there were any jobs around, while DWei was asleep on the ground. Mama Zen was trying to keep her zen centered in all the chaos and I love weed was as high as an albatross. Hank was limericking us to death, while D4, Gareth and Sub Rader refused to waste their breath. They set up their tunes trying to block out the wails sounding like creatures from the black lagoons.

Gizmo kept trying to find an app to get back home. My Maniacal Mind was crazy and thought all of this was some dream dome. LOLA said the word that rhymes with duck more times than I could count, let's just say it was a triple digit amount.

Slamdunk analyzed the Bersercules crime scene and The Fox looked rather mean. Those Irish mafia days sure could come in handy. So having him was quite dandy. Dezmond was crying out for the full scoop trying to get an exclusive from anyone in the group. Then there was Fred. Poor Fred who seemed to had lost his head. Without his dictionary collection around, his words just could not seem to be found.

The rest of the strangers also seemed to be quite fearful of the dangers. All anyone was doing was yapping, I guess that's why with LOLA and her bad language flapping, no one was the wiser until it hit and then they all took a fit. The chandelier came down on her head and poor LOLA was dead.

I backed up into LMF and around she spun. She actually tried to get me with a fire poker, like I was some stalker joker. It's a good thing the cat can jump. It's just too bad Waffles did not notice the hump. He tripped on a bulge in the carpet and fell right into the closet. There a spike went right through his head, poor Waffles was also dead.

Brian and Betsy had given up on the door knob, I guess someone gave it a nose job. For the damn thing just would not open giving little hope. Don't worry I won't tell that when Fox came over he tried for a grope. I figured my best bet was to hide with them, for Fox knew how to sever a brain stem and Brian had his scary mohawk. While Betsy had five men so would not handle any big scary voice back talk.

Fred wandered over to where D4, Gareth and Sub Radar had set up their equipment. I guess he wanted to use Morris code to send for a dictionary shipment. But they would not let him touch their stuff and as he left in a huff, things got kind of rough. It seems the voice had about enough and sparks flew from the tune crew. The voice laughed and said "They are no longer Staying Alive."

Gizmo tried to find an app that could revive while Slamdunks was going nuts over all the crime scenes. I love weed thought he was in the marines. He stormed up the stairs, pretending he was doing it in pairs and as he got mid way up, he was met by a hiccup. A hook swung down from above and let's just say I love weed was no longer feeling the love.

Hank thought he knew what this was and said it in limerick just because. He thought it was a ride from Disneyland and this was all one big fake stand. I knew Pat would reference the April Fool's Day flick and that's when I saw a floating brick. Mama Zen had her chi in focus because she dodged the hocus pocus but poor Hank got one upside the head and after a few more he too was dead.

The voice seemed rather delighted blithering on to all he supposedly invited. Slamdunk had enough of this crime, while Dezmond was scribbling everything down having a grand old time. Eliza finally realized this was not a prank after staring at poor dead Hank. Then as My Maniacal Mind declared this was all a dream, Eliza really let out a scream.

For the voice wanted to see in My Maniacal Mind's head and boom it went, splattering everywhere, now she was dead. Daydreamer simply uttered "bloody hell" and her body fell, in two pieces to either side. I guess that saw blade's purpose was to divide. DWei's face sleeping apparatus moved a bit and then came alive and had a fit. It sucked his brains through his nose and I closed my eyes as some got on his clothes.

The strangers about were getting picked off one by one and Gizmo was trying each app, but he had a ton. He went so fast, because his list was so vast, that he did not notice when one asked "Do you want to play a game?" I know that sounded so lame. But he did not agree and before long some flying saw thing lopped off his knee. It came back around before he could move and let's just say not even an Emperor would want such groove.

All seemed quiet as most were toast and the voice began to boast. Yet there was no exit to be found and the boards on the floor started falling into the ground. Everyone jumped to the side of the wall, as steel doors slammed down blocking the hall. The stairs fell into the ground too and spikes like those that got poor Bersercules were all anyone could view.


For those that are dead you are probably over the dread. But for those that are alive what could be in store? How horrible of me to end it here at my shore. I guess all will have to wait in mass to see what happens to those left alive and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. Aw dude. A cliff hanger with ME in it. How effing lame is that!

    Nah it's still pretty cool. Badass, actually

  2. I hate those damn trolls and all those rick rolls!

  3. bwahahaa...this is frickin awesome, i wanna get me some more, maybe go repo a door, yo the gangs all here so never fear, sever a brain stem fox, that rocks and i was wondering why the cat was posting in the middle of the night, seems you got an awful fright...and isnt her name Petsy now?

  4. we Elven people never really liked Trolls, they're too mischievous just like Dwarves and Goblins.

  5. Wow, can't wait to see if I live to see the story's end!

    (And, I'd like to apologize for that "grope" to... well... you know who you are.)

  6. So that's where my first wife ended up.

  7. haha a cliffhanger it had to be
    Or else it be so long your eyes would go blurry

    Yes those trolls and their tolls
    Should really by hug by their undies on flag poles

    haha yeah the cat had to get the story out for all
    In case that nasty troll came back to my hall
    Sorry for not using the Petsy name
    She was dubbed that before my tale came into frame..haha

    Maybe we should unite and rid the world of such awful creatures
    We could do it in a trilogy of features

    haha yeah I'm sure Brian would like the apology
    After you went and gropped his knee..hahahahaha
    Oops I spoiled that as out if fell
    But it just worked so well

    She got impaled by a spike
    Damn you really must have wanted her to take a hike

  8. "and isnt her name Petsy now?" -- Brian

    "Sorry for not using the Petsy name" -- Orlin

    Thanks, guys, she's gonna kill me now...!!!

  9. And it sure as hell wasn't Brian I aimed for!!!

  10. hahaha oh I love it
    Let's see if we can't get her to have a fit

    hahaha it was a bit dark in the house
    So maybe Brian just thought it was a mouse

  11. Silver says..."Thanks, guys, she's gonna kill me now...!!!"

    ...haha...oh, you wish you could feel my hands around your neck! lol.....not to mention Pat giving Petsy a whole new meaning over at your lair. If it wasn't so funny, I'd snatch you by that silver hair! hahaha.

    Wow...What a story! I've never liked trolls since a little girl hearing that story Billy Goat's Gruff. And I thought those troll dolls with the colored hair were really creepy.

    For some reason I kept having flash backs to your book number two. Maybe Prophet Rahe was really a troll? :)

    And...true, I didn't rhyme...but if I'm already in hell, is it still a crime?

  12. great post, keep it up, and what about the cat on pringles bottle?

  13. trolls and rick rolls xd
    damn, didn't heard that song for a while now

  14. hahaha yes he probably does want to feel your hands around his neck
    Unless you scratch him then he might yell what the heck
    Or something more foul could pop out
    As it stings and he shouts

    Yeah trolls are a pain in my butt
    Plus that voice is quite a nut
    We shall see who it is
    Maybe it is the godly one and his biz..haha

    hahaha I think the strat would fly if she was a troll
    That would surely take it's toll
    But she is something indeed
    More than what she would want you to follow the godly lead
    But book number 3 will really give you a flash of this
    For it is much more in sync with a hellish bliss

    Yeah with hell flying in every direction
    Rhyming is now at ones election

    The one in the pringle can
    Did not see the troll man
    Miss Priss hid away
    And never say the troll at our bay

    haha didn't even remember that song
    Is that all wrong

  15. I think anyone with half a brain knows what "strat" means by now! It's also short for a Fender Stratocaster guitar. For example, an early song by Foreigner called "Headknocker" has a line "He's got an old Fender Strat // Plays behind his back..." which could be rather messy with your definition!

  16. Familiar faces in the house that smelled of rats
    Face up bravely to the troll and be counted
    Limericking and fighting back can be caught dead
    Hoping those still living would not be hounded


  17. see and i was jaywalking the moon while all this happened and missed the whole party..smiles

  18. I'm dead. D: Oh nooo....

    I better come back as a zombie.

  19. To be continued? How am I supposed to keep my chi in focus under that kind of suspense?

  20. Geez. You went all saw on us. I think I have an idea who the villain is, it can only be one alone. But I won't guess cuz I'll either be wrong or I'll ruin the second half of the tune. Damn...if only I had a thesaurus, I know I could've got us out:)

  21. Knew about the guitar one at my show
    Never knew about the song though
    Yeah that would be kind of nasty too
    Having on his back what should go in the loo

    We shall see what's in store
    As we move on with the so called gore
    At least if it was only a rat
    The cat could have just eaten that

    Yeah damn those moon trips
    Up there doing flips
    And miss out on all the fun
    How can such a thing be done

    hahaha zombies may be fun
    Would make the cat run

    You just have to control that chi
    Focusing it until next season at my sea
    Won't be a four month break though
    Like some icky CBS show..haha

    I bet you think it is that god mook
    That is the so called spook
    You never know
    Although it doesn't seem like his kind of show
    And as long as it was not Saw 1
    I can handle the comparision fun
    But that first one was God awful crap
    The rest just wanted to make me take a nap..haha

  22. "I backed up into LMF and around she spun. She actually tried to get me with a fire poker, like I was some stalker joker." LOL That's right, don't mess!! hahaha

    This post might beat your RDJ one. I legit am still cracking up from this...just please, don't kill me off :P

  23. haha but how could I beat the RDJ one
    It was you're most favorite ever and you won..haha
    Typical woman changing her mind
    Guess I'll have to kill you off for that find..hahahaha
    The cat can always top himself though
    Does so every now and again at his show
    Will you die or fry
    Hmmm maybe, maybe not, I can't tell a lie

  24. Yay, there will be more
    of this tale in store.

    I feel a a-tingle.
    And now want some Pringles


  25. haha I don't share my pringles
    But I'm sure you can go steal some of Kris Kringle's

  26. Oh Pat I'm laughing so hard. I love being included and fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Thank you for making my day and probably my year. Gosh, my year? That's kind of pathetic.


  27. @LOLA: He drops a chandelier on you, and that makes your year???

  28. hahaha your year you say?
    Damn you need to get out a little more your way..hahaha

    I guess I killed her with laughter or something
    A chandelier falling can have a nice ring

  29. So awesome that you've implemented your viewers

  30. I guess great
    Is just my fate..haha

    Yeah I went and got the ones that were in the last post or two
    And weaved them in as I went on thru

  31. Fox, Betsy, Fred and Brian
    Hank, MamaZ and more all rhymin'
    Holy crap you rhyming fiend
    Again, the time! this is obscene
    I do not know how you do what you do
    But I humbly bow to this troll lovin crew

  32. haha wait until part two
    There could be an appearance by tashtoo
    I guess we just have to wait and see
    What happens as we try and break free

  33. Well, that would be lots of fun
    but we aren't troll lovin
    we want to get away
    to live another day!

  34. OH! Tashtoo!
    Say it isn't true!

  35. Yes that lovin isn't getting spread
    The cat wants to chop off the trolls head
    But is it really a troll behind the voice
    Hmmm tough choice

    Fox I don't even think you can guess this one
    Unless you really guessed a ton

  36. hahaha no it isn't true
    Or maybe it is, now you can stew

  37. Is it someone with pretty feathers?

  38. Heh Pat Hatt and your very large cat,
    How dare you stop in the middle of that
    I want to see what happens next
    it seems your blog is Halloween hexxed
    or you are just making us wait
    right outside your front porch gate.
    Hurry, Pat, with part number two.
    Your words certainly are very true.

  39. I have a couple of theories, actually, but I'm not going to spoil anything by commenting about it, in case I'm right. Besides, you'd just change the ending, haha!

  40. Nope not a peacock
    Sure that comes as a shock

    haha well geez didn't know you wanted it that much
    I had to stop or some might need an eye crutch
    As it would be double the length of that
    And some might shun the cat..haha
    Part number two is done
    If will be up in a day or so on the run

    Nope the ending works too good to change
    And it actually fits well, so isn't completely strange

  41. I know! It's Flappy!
    She stopped being yappy
    and found your blog
    and how she was made out to be a yipping hog
    Her anger turned her crazy
    and now she isn't lazy
    She turned into a troll with a dungeon
    and now she want's to eat you for her luncheon.
    And eat us your followers for a snack
    and keep our heads as souvenirs in her backpack.

  42. Silver, It's a funny way to die.
    Pat, I'd like to get out more, but there's no place to go.
    I still think it's hilarious.


  43. hahaha oh that would have been an interesting turn
    If Flappy made us all feel the burn
    And you described her want for revenge rather well
    If she found out she really would damn us to hell
    But nope not her on bit
    And yeah that would be quite the ewww inducing fit..haha

    Wolverine likes the rhymes
    That is just fun times

    Yeah was a funny way to go
    No place to go, I am too stuck in that flow
    Glad you found it fun
    The first half of my tale that was spun

  44. LOL! This is hilarious!

    Speaking of pranks--I got my brother sooooo good yesterday. Bwa ha ha. I'm so proud of myself :)

  45. haha you got him and you did not write about it yet
    But you will soon I bet
    Yeah was fun to write as well
    Putting all the crew in hell


Post a Comment