The Song Is A Hit So I Want 12 dVerse Days Damn It!

Now that it's all over and the presents have been raided by rover, any type of food they go for, seen that time and time again at my shore. Quite funny thinking about it now even though then one might have a cow. Anyway, what is with this song? It just makes the whole two days we get seem so wrong.

It says we get twelve days of Christmas each and every year. But twelve days never comes near. After two it's back to the grind for all and my little rhyming behind. I think those damn turtle doves messed it up for all of us. Or maybe those french hens just like to cuss. So the world agreed not to go past two when Christmas comes due.

Who wants all that crap anyway? Couldn't they make it something fun for ones bay? I mean all that noise sure isn't wanted by girls and boys. The cat would surely take that pipe and make those pipers have a gripe. Of course if they passed gas later on, I suppose they would still make noise at my lawn.

The rest is all birds and a bunch of overacted words. Do they really need to emphasize five rings, each and every time one sings? Why would a true love send any of this? Is there anyone who all of this crap would give bliss?

The drumming drummers need a smack with their stick.
The lords a leaping can be stopped with a good kick.
The pipers I already said what they can do.
But again they can shove the pipe up their gazoo.
Ladies dancing is kind of strange.
What happens if the sending true love is male on your range?
Would a woman really want to see ladies dancing?
Even if they were prancing?
Maids milking, I take it to be cows.
Would surely raise some eyebrows.
Swans swimming would freeze on the lake,
And they would look so fake.
Geese laying eggs would probably give a honk.
Making their head you just want to conk.
Five golden rings?
Hmmm does that mean you can have four other flings?
The promiscuous might like that.
Just think of five true loves sending all of that crap to your mat.
Calling birds would never shut up.
French hens and their language barrier would be a hiccup.
Well Strat! I think I answered my own questions today.
On why only two days of the twelve ever display.

It is because the rest are total crap. The turtles doves are a nice sight to see as away they fly with a wing flap. The partridge makes a yummy dinner I hear and the pear tree will give you fruit throughout most of the year. So two days are all we get each Christmas time because they rest would make people go crazy and commit an inhumane crime.

I think you'd still get thrown in jail for killing drummers and pipers as they wail. Think if we change the stuff these whacko lovers send we can start a twelve day trend? Just make it more dVerse and then twelve days off will be our blessing or our curse. Yeah, wishful thinking I know, which only means back to the grind we all go. Why did this song even have to come to pass? Oh well, at least it let some sass come from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. Orlin, you've outdone yourself! Can't wait to see all the gushy -- and well-deserved -- comments on this one! Fantastic. (And you know I'm not the gushy type.)

  2. Dearest cat, well for the next Christmas come here baby, we have only two Christmas day, and is all and of course the week before is absolutely crazy:)
    This is a nice and interesting post:)

  3. damn turtle doves. Them and meerkats are always scheming something with armadilo gang!

  4. 12 days of christmas would be nice...although i guess i get 9 and thats good enough

  5. Do they really need to emphasize five rings, each and every time one sings?

    hahahaha. That was my favorite line. :)

    The parts of the song about birds are fine with me
    but 9 cats a mewing
    would have been more ensuing
    or 15 if they sang to you, Pat
    seeing as that's where you're at.
    A redo with the cats in mind
    would be really sublime.
    Maybe after my coffee is drank
    and I my contacts in my eyes have sank
    I'll give that a little whirl
    just promise me you won't dance and twirl.

    oh, the grammar nazi is having a fit
    not liking my writing not one bit.

  6. Excellent writing as always buddy, reading this has helped closed my mind off and make me realise Christmas is now well and truly over. 12 days would be awesome, especially if they were DVerse but what can we do?

  7. LOL!!!! I think you should make up your own version of the song. You're right tho...why the hell would you send someone maid's milking?? Milk scares me. Bleh....

    I'll take the 5 golden rings tho. Gold is worth a lot right now. :)

  8. It would be cooler if you can sing this Christmas song..ha..ha...Yes, this is what my true love said to me ~

  9. haha wow got big props from the Fox
    Here at my docks
    See all you "sweet" people out there
    That's how it's one without a sweet or dear at his or my lair..haha

    The cat might unravel
    If he has to travel
    Did that once before
    When he came to my shore
    Was not happy
    But was really flappy

    Yeah and those damn penguins too
    You can't forget about them and their smelly poo

    True, being in school and such
    You do tend to get much

    hahaha that line popped in as I went through the song
    Emphasizing everytime makes one seem like a ding dong..haha
    True doing it with cats would be fun
    Look an idea for you I have spun
    There is a new blog post for you
    Make sure you make it rhyme too..haha
    hahaha okay no dancing or twirling with be had
    Not be the cat, miss priss or that Pat lad
    Grammar Nazi isn't against your beat
    Not thinking sweet is neat..haha

    Yeah I tried to do one that says it's over and done
    Back to the normal non-christmas fun
    Not sure what 12 things one could do
    Guess it would be up to each person what would ensue

    Next year I'll keep in mind
    To make up my own version with my little rhyming behind
    Maid's a milking is like the dumbest one
    Milk doesn't scare me but is nasty and here it is never run
    True five golden rings might get you some dough
    So that is something I wouldn't mind either at my show

    hahaha well there you go
    Just sing with it's usual flow
    And off the hook you are
    From sending all that crap to your bar

  10. wow you sure wrecked the 12 days....surprised you dont go bowling with elves today...have you heard what it would cost they say each year to bring this kind of christmas cheer? better start playing the lottery...

  11. because SCREW Christmas :)

  12. They're totally wrong but many people say
    the lords -a-leapin' are totally gay.
    But, even if they were, that's completely unsat
    'Cause it's not like there's anything wrong with that.
    Happy New Year!

  13. My printer is relatively new. I'm in no mood for smashing. I wonder if my son threw out the old one. I wouldn't mind smashing that. I tried to change the ink cartridge in it and a tiny piece broke off, causing irreparable damage.

  14. If Christmas was indeed 12 days long it would have been too boring. 2 days is just enough to feel and enjoy the holiday spirit

  15. haha bowling with elves would be fun
    Getting a strike and watching them fall and run
    Never heard what is would cost though
    But then lottery prob isn't a good way to go

    Screw those twelve days indeed
    Who knows where they will lead

    Yeah nothing wrong with that
    If they have a leapin' door mat
    Or like to jump and cheer
    This or that to Happy New Year

    haha yeah go for the old one
    Have some fun
    And smash the thing to bits
    Because sounds like it is the pits

    I'm sure I can fill the 12 days with something to do
    But many would find it hard to

  16. Raided by rover lol reminds my of my uncles dog he'll gently unwrap presents then take them out of the box. Some dogs think they're humans

  17. haha - think i wouldn't survive much more than two days of christmas better back to grind than in prison..smiles

  18. Guess what Cat, I get twelve days!
    To poetize and have my say,
    But on the third I shall return
    Ready to take that work and burn
    And the third is great if I do say
    as it is also my birthday
    So even though I may get to play
    at being a poet for the next few days
    Think of me while your at work
    Going back on your birthday can be a jerk! :(
    Hope you had some Christmas Cheer
    With lots of paper to rip and tear
    As always here is where it's at
    And that dear readers is a face it fact!

  19. This could be another awesome book trailer. I LOVE it LOL!

  20. I'm with D4 on the drummers, never kill a drummer, never ever kill drummers. You may however kill the rest and I'll help the cat with that. Hubby hates this bleeding song so he'd love to read this. Maybe the maids a milking were lactating (gross, I know).

  21. Haha, the partridges would make a great meal-lol Love your take on this theme. The rundown had me cracking up, and now that I actually think about it, really only 2 days are of importance, the rest are exactly what you said, wow to think that thought was never heard, I think the turtle doves are going to be awfully perturbed, if not them then the drummers might. Great write.

  22. 4 other flings? LOL. Your mind is one of a kind.

    Did you know I was actually a milk maid back on my Daddy's farm? yep. Well, kinda. Sorta. I did milk one of his cows once!!

    And guess what? I think you are now 4th in line for a Jannie Sidebar Button.

    whoohoo?? :0 ;0


  23. Hard to enjoy winter; but easier since we have no snow yet. As far as smashing a printer, no way. I just got hime working. And, oh, no calling birds for me either. What the heck are they anyway? Happy New Year to You, my Friend.

  24. haha yeah I've had one that was sneaky as can be
    Another would just go in no matter who was around to see
    They do think they are human at times
    But none of them can send out the rhymes..haha

    So true
    Better back to the grind then in prison feeling blue
    Or orange I guess
    Either way be one big mess

    Technically I'm not back to work
    So I can sit home and lurk
    I will lay around and be a lazy cat
    As usual, except now so will Pat
    Sucks about Birthday and working
    Not sure if this year I will or just be lurking
    But either way
    Sounds like there will be little dismay
    As fun will prob be had
    And all will be glad

    hahaha I'd have to write the book for it
    Already have too many to write at my pit

    hahaha I just said I'd smack them with their stick
    Killing is just so umm ick

    Ewwwww not that is nasty indeed
    Lactating maids would make one take heed
    No, no drummers were harmed in the making of this rhyme
    They are all still drumming away in their prime..haha

    Yeah the rest seem like total crap
    I guess they just needed something to flap
    To fill their stupid gap
    Because only two days wouldn't be a very long rap
    So they made up a bunch of junk
    That no one would think was a slamdunk

    Thanks for that
    From the cat

    Nice one can say
    It seems all day

    haha well 4 flings
    With five rings
    One woul be legit and all
    The rest would be a fake marriage call
    Once wow!
    Way to go with that cow..haha
    And a button tooo

    Yeah winter blows
    Even more when it snows
    Smash one it is fun
    Better yet smash a ton..haha
    Yeah enough with the stupid birds
    All of them would sure drop some turds
    Happy New Year back
    From all at the cat's shack

  25. And passing gas is the very reason why we do not have Brussel sprouts for our Christmas dinner. LOL
    There's enough hot air in here without adding to it.
    Hope yours was a good one Pat ;)

  26. hahaha yes plenty of hot air
    Here, there and everywhere
    At bush number three
    And it was good at my sea

  27. Dude I love your background! You've got the whole world, in your hands!

  28. I never got that 12 day thing
    Two makes more sense and
    Has a better ring
    But we're still stuck with the partridge
    and pear tree too
    Though it sure beats pipers with pipes up their gazoo.

    Hope your Christmas was a great two (days).


  29. haha just don't go singing that song
    Then we may not get along..haha

    Yeah I guess some nut just want to make it twelve days
    And so came up with some crazy displays
    On what it should be
    I guess at least one person gets some glee
    Out of pipers
    Maybe they were in diapers

  30. the pipers can do what you said you said
    swans won't look as fake as a snake
    the promiscuous just might like that
    for i am momentarily in rhyme heaven
    courtesy of mr. hatt

  31. Wow... I think those 12 days are hidden somewhere inside the 3 months leading up it. I know there's a back story to that song, I'm just too comatose after two days of Christmas to go find it.

  32. I think getting five rings means you get five wives! But that might not be a good thing!

  33. 12 days of Christmas cheer
    Will bore many I'm sure
    2 days is enough time to kill
    Lots of chores to fulfill


  34. "Bah, Humbug," I say
    It's enough with one day.
    Pat, be of good cheer:
    Wish the cat "Happy New Year!"

  35. LOL... too funny... my fav-to-date... you missed my rhyme this week... actually had some

  36. hahaha glad you agree with the piper one
    That would be such fun
    And I sent you to rhyme heaven you say
    That is fun to hear at my bay

    True could be hidden about
    As the song gives its crazy shout
    Yeah I was too lazy to look too
    But I'm sure something made it come due

    Yeah would be tricky to balance five wives
    Especially with five bee hives

    Yeah 12 days would bore some
    But not my little rhyming bum
    As I find something to do
    Just rhyme for all of you

    I'll sent to cat your wish
    Even if a bah humbug you dish..haha

    I didn't miss
    I was just slow give xmas a hiss
    Fav to date you say
    This one just popped in the other day

    Glad it's a hit
    And didn't cause a fit

  37. very entertaining - my fav is Five golden rings?
    Hmmm does that mean you can have four other flings? lol!

  38. hahaha those flings might become aware
    And then it's cheaters beware

  39. I see you're still having as much fun as ever hear at your place, and I'm with Sheila on my favorite part. Nice to visit again :)

  40. Oh yes fun is still being had
    haha that part, I fear for many a lass and lad..haha

  41. Oh I enjoyed this one very much... lovely.

    thanks for sharing... Happy New Year My friend. May the year bring you Happiness, Peace, love and prosperity.

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    At Twitter @VerseEveryDay

  42. you have taken over the world, and the printer business is never better.

  43. Glad it was enjoyed very much
    And not just a touch
    Will always share
    Sometimes one should beware

    hahaha damn I'm helping those big wigs get more money
    I should get a kickback so I can move somewhere sunny

  44. Just the rewrite it needed! Truly masterful my friend! My best to you and yours this coming year! ~ Rose

  45. Just came back to read once more...I just loved your 12 Days of Christmas. So much to LOL about. Loved the 5 golden rings, so four additional flings. Your mind is way cool!

  46. Masterful it was you say
    That is nice to hear at my bay
    Best to you as well
    When the new years rings in with its bell

    hahahaha you know it's good when you get people reading twice
    Saying my mind is cool is always way nice
    Hope I didn't LOL you out just yet
    More to come in 2012 on that you can bet


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