Both Jax and Pat Are Going To Be Squashed Flat!

Did you think the cat would not see, that you wanted to do this to me?

I saw on that Twitter thing about your want to glamor me up that you gave a ring. Saying how you should try and give me a makeover. While I'm not easy like rover.

You will never get the cat. For I scurry away faster than a rat and this will never occur. You will not ruffle up my fur.

I will not go to the dark side. If that is how you intend to glamor up my stride. For I will run and hide and if you get too close there will be a turning of the tide.

For you'll need armor in every spot and I'll even make that rot. Of course the blantant part applies to Pat. Either way it won't be the first time I whacked him there at my mat. What? I don't watch where I jump with my little rhyming butt.

I even pity the mutt and it's no wonder they want to sniff a butt. They need to get high and forgot that you dressed some guy up as a girl. Then you have the nerve to make them twirl.

You will not trick me by giving me meds like this one. For I will not fall for any cat nip fun. Plus he clearly has no taste. I'll make sure and turn this glamor up crap to paste.

No, a group will not help. I will still scratch you and make you yelp. Plus being food is rather yummy, so any glamor crap will go done my tummy.

Still not going to happen. No matter how much you keep rappin' about how the cat could infiltrate Dezmond's mat. I don't want to go near those damn penguins any more. They already strat all over my shore.

You even do it to your own kind. I pity you all with my little rhyming behind. No way you will ever get the cat in something like that. Oh but it's full on glamor you want. Well you can taunt and wish that you could dazzle me up like some fancy dish.

But you will never ever stand a chance and I will totally ruin your stance. This is just plain sad. Cats everywhere should be mad. Especially Miss Priss, as this looks a lot like her and sure doesn't cause bliss. Oh and just so you know my threats are idle at all. For if you attempt such a thing at my hall.

Jax will hear the screaming of Liu Kang and her bell will be rang.

Then without even a scratch I'll have him end the match. Jax will be smushed and toast while Pat I roast. He still feeds me so I need him, even if I give his skin a good trim. This way I won't have to say anything crass. For all can surely see I'm showing you my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. Miss Priss looks like she's ready for Breakfast At Tiffany's .

  2. People are so cruel to their pets, giving them psychological problems.....

  3. I think a pair of lovely mittens would be enough!

  4. These are all so awesome, despite how goofy these animals are they're still incredibly cute haha!

  5. haha. i love that audrey hepburn cat !

  6. haha awesome post man, thanks for the laugh !

  7. haha ... it sure looks funny but when people start to dress their pets to wear it for a long time (go for a walk etc.) there is a problem there with the 'masters'... our neighbor doesn't dress her cat but the cat has jingle bells around her collar and it basically jingles all the time the cat moves i wonder if that's why the cat seems to be in a panic all the time ... :-)

  8. haha I think that was the point
    Of whoever dressed the poor cat like that at their joint

    Yes, making them feel so insecure
    Has to give them problems for sure

    To keep their paws all nice and warm
    Out in a snow storm

    hahaha I suppose they are cute
    Sure some would rather be mute

    haha yeah that one is done well
    But sure the kitty is thinking what the hell

    Glad I could provide a laugh or two
    Here at my rhyming zoo

    hahaha that would probably be the case
    The cat wants them out of its face
    Yeah the 'masters' has a problem for sure
    And they need to find a cure

  9. Amazing pictures!! My dogs HATE clothes. LOL

  10. Yeah my cats would rip them off too
    And then tear them up, eat them, and I wouldn't see them again until they used the loo..haha

  11. Is that Ms Priss? The clothes are outlandish specially the frilly pinkish ones ~

    Pat, you missed my bay yesterday :-(

  12. Great
    Just my fate

    LOL not a chance
    I'd never get her to make such a stance
    She'd scratch the crap out me
    And then flee
    Hmmm I did
    Stupid blogger flipping its lid

  13. ahahha that penguin costume wouldn't fool my defences, you would be strip searched and we would discover THAT you're not a penguin (and possibly that you're not Jewish if we go all the way with the strip search lol)... Love the lion kitten and the Hepburn Cat :))

    On a serious side, I've never put anything on my cats, they would probably rip me to pieces with their claws... no doubt about it.

  14. LOL I think I'll avoid that scenario your way
    I wouldn't want any penguins getting frisky and wanting to play
    After the search was through
    That just would not
    Yeah mine would tear me to shreds as well
    Their exact thoughts would be "like hell"\

    Star wars cat
    Can't beat that

  15. Omg!!! Smushed and toast?? It wasn't me!! It was all Pat...You shoulda heard him going and on and on about he wanted to give you a glam-over. Smush him instead! I could feed you even better than him. How does broiled salmon EVERY night sound?? Hmm?

    These pictures are hysterical. I LOLed at your MK reference. And the baby in the pot? My poor god son might get dressed as a lobster and put in a pot soon. Adorable!! My favorite is the Jamaican Hippie like cat on drugs. His face is pricelesss!!!

    P.S. The tutu I was going to use was 100x prettier than that dogs!

  16. Got a riot going here Pat.

    Some folks seem to pass along their psychological issues to their pets. It is the opposite here though, as our yellow buffalo drives me nuts with his tennis ball dependencies.

  17. OH MY! I love the lyon cat (lol) and Tiffanys cat!! ha! lovely

  18. THIS is sooooo hysterical! I think I laughed so hard that I just coughed up a lung!

  19. Normally I object to dressing up animals, but ill allow this.

  20. hahaha you forget the cat can spy
    On that Pat guy
    So I know who brought the glamor on
    Meaning you get smushed on the
    But broiled salmon every night does sound grand
    Although you are too far away from the cat's land
    It be too much of a hike
    Just be thankful I could find one of Jax getting filled on a pike..LOL
    Oh the poor kid having to go through that
    Yeah he does look to be a rather high cat
    The cat will attack
    At his shack
    No matter how pretty the tutu
    Bring that thing near and flattening will come

    A riot it seems to be
    And yeah they do pass it to their pets for all to see
    Bunch of nuts for the most part
    Your yellow buffalo just wants to dart
    After that ball
    Right down the hall

    haha glad you liked the cats there
    For this cat will never wear
    A thing
    As the clothes I will fling

    LOL well at least you still have one good lung still
    Feel free to send the cat the bill..haha

    The cat object along with you
    But this had to come due

  21. Dressed them well
    You sure can tell
    They looked lovely
    It's no cruelty
    Being cute and tidy
    Not smelly or dirty
    Their minders do spend
    For man's best friend


  22. Stumbled on this from jax. Although it's a jab, it packs

    a poetic punch, to the left and uppercut

    I shall visit again, just to ask "WHAT?"

  23. I'm about to faint from all this...this...awesome.

    It's so rare that a blog leaves me speechless, but today you've done just that. Great job, sir.


  24. No cruelty may be the intent
    But I guaruntee if most were to vent
    They would tell the owners to get bent
    And make them repent..haha

    Jax has you stumbling my way
    I guess I will need new visitors since she got a bit squashed
    hahaha you'll ask that questions a lot
    As I may be hot to trot
    But quite crazy too
    Here at my rhyming zoo

    I made you almost faint
    Make sure not to fall in wet paint..haha
    Glad you liked my bay
    And leaving one speechless what can I say
    Dressing animals up can do that
    Which is why it will never happen to the cat..haha

  25. a true riot. my favorite is the kid as the lobster. those cats don't look thrilled at the costume assignment. tho i am a dog person, i love a cat's common sense approach: what the f*ck are you dressing me up for??
    universally people who dress up their animals will say 'they like it.' but yeah, it's the owners that like it. human reasoning centers around self justification. great post. you are making me laugh in new ways:)

  26. How bout them new followers?? ;) That's got to take me out of the danger zone!!!

    and loveee the little weiner pooch. He reminds me my Sir Philip. Aww now I want to dress him up!

    P.S. I used to dress up my poor iguana in American Girl Doll clothes. It was adorable!

  27. haha yeah cats do seem to have more common sense
    Not that dogs are dense
    They just aim to please
    And will say cheese
    Cats are just like screw you
    Thinking humans and dogs haven't got a clue
    And yeah animals don't like it one bit
    Always the people having to do it
    For reasons you say
    Glad I can get a laugh another way

    Technically they are just new commentors at my shore
    They haven't joined the followers galore
    So you are only 25% off the hook
    Might save a leg or two from getting squashed at my
    hahaha sure he'll like that
    Be laughed at by a cat
    LOL I wonder want your iguana thought
    I bet the word adorable was never brought

  28. Hahahaha - I thought cats mostly escaped that. lol I think you'd better get your armor ready!

  29. ' the cat could infiltrate Dezmond's mat' - that's real funny, Pat. That Darth Vader Cat looks really unhappy. Or he's a good actor!

    1. the cat couldn't only dream of infiltrating me mat, unless he wants barbed wire mat under his butt :)

    2. Threats threats is all I hear
      The cat could sneak in and out before you caught my little rhyming rear

    3. Dezzy is so tough, yet we all know The Dezz loves it... um... rough? :))

    4. Hmmm I think that is quite enough
      Not need to think of Dez of those penguins in the buff..haha

  30. dude this is just wrong on so many levels...classified as abuse for sure...i hope that you avoid this invasion on your shore.

  31. haha yeah if I ever attempt that
    I don't even think armor would stop the cat

    That cat likes being really funny
    Makes me so sunny
    Yep he sure looks unhappy
    I bet if he could he'd get quite flappy

    Yeah humans wanting to put them on display
    Thinking the pets like it at their bay
    Dumb idea indeed
    Just another thing proving humans need
    To prop up their own ego
    And nope, not gonna happen at my show

  32. sigh...only 25% :( I'm glad that I'm not a student at your texting school. You seem like a rough grader.

  33. HAHA, omg that was freaking great- the darth vader and the happy meal was just too much. My cats would claw my eyes out if I tried, the dogs, well they put up with it but definitely didn't like it. Hah, I can't get over that happy meal…Fun, fun, fun this piece that was spun. Thanks

  34. Well one did follow me
    So I guess a 40% I can give thee
    haha you already passed that
    So you have no need to be graded by the cat

    LOL Glad it was fun
    As I went on a picture rant run
    Cats would have none of it
    Dogs only do it to be a hit
    As they have the need,
    To be approved off at their feed

    Funny cruelty indeed
    If they could talk out ears would bleed
    Or they might anyway
    If a cat has his/her way

    Yep that it is
    I knew the Fox would agree with such a nasty biz

  35. LOL omg that baby! That would be the best picture to pull out when the kids older!

  36. I'm not big on dressing up pets either but, this one I'll excuse you for as I know you only did it to make us all roar with fits of giggles.
    I don't believe you just have rain, we have about a FOOT of snow here as of now and it's STILL coming down!

    I never did get people that dressed their pets
    I mean, what the heck!?
    Although I have to say that the first one is adorable
    even though deplorable.
    Look like Marmalade
    Playing Charades.
    The Happy Meal is crazy, too!
    I could fill the whole dollar menu with my crew!
    But I'm quite certain they wouldn't like it
    and like you, I'd be full of scratches.

    I'd beware of Jax
    if she goes on the glam-over attack.
    If you had curly fur
    she'd straighted it for sure
    and warm up the color, too
    because that's just what she likes to do!

    1. Straight haired red head kitty cat? Sounds like a lot of fun!!!

      but don't tell the cat that, I'm in enough trouble :)

    2. You are in trouble!
      maybe even double! :)

    3. Your trouble will double if you try
      And I'll let a pot bubble so you can fry
      A witch stew will brew
      And "I'm melting" will be all that is heard from you..LOL

      Yep she is
      For such a nasty biz

    4. So graphic...That scares me!

    5. LOL I expected as much
      AS buttons your have to touch
      And a vending machine scares you
      So knew a stew would cause a scare to come

  38. lol the giraffe costume made me crack up

  39. haha! the dog dressed up as mcdonalds fries is priceless!

  40. the tye dye cat looks like hes on one hell of an acid trip

  41. The Darth Vader cat looks like my Kenny. I'm getting him one.

  42. These photos are a riot, Pat.

    I'd be inclined to report the owner of the dogs in front of McD's for animal cruelty, though.


  43. Now I can see how they got the dogs in costumes. Dogs will do anything to please their owners. But Cats???? No way. *sits on hands so no one can see kitty claw marks*

  44. hey, pat! this is one of your cutest posts! love the baby lobster in the pot! :)


  45. awwwwwwwww darth vader cat is cute ^^

  46. Glad you like
    My pic hike

    LOL yeah that would be good to embarass when older
    Making one seem a tad less bolder

    Yeah it was all for a giggle
    And maybe make a butt wiggle
    And nope just rain
    But I feel your snowy pain...LOL

    It seems to be an unending trend
    I think those who do are a tad around the bend
    And yeah you could have quite fun
    But to catch them all you'd sure have to run
    Then might not have any arms left too
    So best never to try it at your zoo
    The cat has no fear
    I'll climb my 7ft tall cat tower here
    And then she'd never reach me
    While she gets mooned by bush number

    haha the giraffe one doesn't look happy
    I bet he/she was quite yappy
    Wanting it off
    And had to scoff

    Could be the new mascots for mcdonalds maybe
    That be interesting to see

    Yeah he looks to be on quite the trip
    And thinks he is quite hip

    May look cute
    But I bet they'd rather play a flute

    hahaha I'm sure he won't like that
    Or blame it all on this cat

    LOL yeah I'd back up your report
    If you ever got dragged back into Judge Judy's court

    hahaha yeah cats will not take it
    Had to use that collar at my pit
    And even that was a chore
    As she fought me forever more
    So not sure how it was done
    Bet the humans didn't have much fun

    A cute most
    I guess once in a while one has to be done by your host

    LOL even if he went to the darkside
    Walking an evil stride

  47. If I was any of those dressed-up cats, I'd be very, very pissed off. Damn, I'd mangle somebody's face.

  48. LOL yeah any normal cat would do that too
    I think many were drugged between me and you

  49. The sad thing is that there are costumes that are way worse than those. Like the ninja turtle dog one...

  50. Yeah I know
    It is amazing what some nutty owners will do at their show
    Putting their pets through such crap
    When all they want to do is take a nap

  51. Replies
    1. I love a cat with an agenda.
      I've never seen armor up close before. It's almost obscene. I wonder if there is a hinged part for peeing or do you have to take the whole armor off? One would have to be careful and not pee in your armor or it would rust. Like the tin man. (What am I saying?) Extra fun post, Pat.

  52. Dear god, that flowed so well. I could never dress up my cat.

  53. I just about lost it when I reached the Breakfast at Tiffanys cat.

  54. Folks may say people are lazy, but I think they're just crazy.
    I think it's interesting that there's a cat dressed up like Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) from Breakfast at Tiffany's - after all, she did name her cat in the movie Cat.

  55. The things that people would dress their pets up in sometimes defies explanation.

  56. Yeah poor things having to go through that
    Those humans need a whack from the cat

    LOL hmmm I don't see a hinge on the thing
    So in order to let your pee fling
    You would probably have to take it all off
    So if one wants to win listen for the guy to scoff
    Then you'll know he's taking off the metal crap
    And poof, you can get the poor chap

    Yeah not many people could
    Or very well should

    Cute they may look
    But bet they think the photographer is worse than a crook

    LOL glad I didn't make you fully lose it
    And that it was a hit

    Maybe a cat wanted to give her some props
    Or more than likely wanted to call the cops
    On such an act
    And that's a fact

    Yeah it sometimes does indeed
    I hope we they picked them up their pet peed
    All over them for this crap
    That would get back at the poor sap


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