It's Round Four. If The Nuts Keep This Up, It Will Go On Forever More!

The cat has to brag first with a little burst. Almost 4000 views for the Rhyme Time theme. Still not a dream.

So this time I went from the psycho serial killer ones to those looking for naked buns. Sadly, humans ones are all they are looking for, which you will see as we go on the search engine tour once more.

rhyme with time

Really? You had to ask that. I'm not even going to grace that with an actual response at my mat.

The Grammar Nazi has his own fan club. Maybe they'll send him some grub.

"silver fox older gentleman"

The Grammar Nazi is being searched out here. Must be because he strikes fear and they have to see if he is near, so a car doesn't get rammed up their rear.

"super old dude"

Hmm this one wasn't as nice searching for him. Maybe they did it on a whim?

"natasha betsy"

You trying to create two in one? Fox's cloning must really be getting done.

"strange old men"

Well strange isn't bad. As I'm sure a strange lad, errr umm cat and you do have that door mat.

"superhero undies"

Look they even miss your comical whenever you want to post them posts. So they have to settle for other ones from other hosts.

Here come the flirty and some are rather dirty.

"dad wearing pants while mowing lawn ojke"

Umm am I missing something? Never heard such a joke given a ring. Are you supposed to mow the lawn naked or in your underwear? Should I even care?

"hot n bothered meaning"

If you have to ask this, you are sadly too young for bliss.

"safehousepoetry + sex"

Nothing like rhyming and doing it. That would take some skill I will admit.

"rhymes with condom"

Umm does quantum work? Either way just give the thing a jerk. Put it on and get going, never mind trying to make rhymes start flowing.

"jiggling jugs don't worry be happy"

Yeah, don't be sappy. For as long as you aren't Jiggle Jugs or Flappy, many people like that and you can at least say they aren't flat.

"bikini cages"

So the bars have bikini's to hold people in? If they are real live ones that might be a sin, but I think all the prisoners would want to stay. Hey, maybe that could be a new idea to put into play.

"bright yellow tramp stamp tattoo"

You think that is considered an easy mark? Beware, many could have played in that park.

All over the place at an alarming pace.

"if cows could fly"

That would mean every girl and guy would have to watch for cow patties falling from the sky.

"did have a recall on furbies for coming live"

Right! And I suppose that one night a cow really did take flight. Maybe you really had a Gremlin or even Critlen, just watch out because both bite.

"what do drunk eyes look like"

Something like that.

Then it leads to something like this, but don't quote the cat.

"most ugliest animal without face"

Hmmm don't you need a face to be ugly? Maybe it's back isn't snugly? Without a face it's just a worm. Oh wait! Mel Gibson did that A Man Without A Face movie, he does make many squirm.

"momy a spider bit me"

Well I hope it didn't bite you where that dog got bit. That just would not be a hit.

"kids movie guys puts an alien around his wrist"

Must be one small alien to do that. And yeah you confuse the cat. A guy put an alien around his wrist? Or guys shared the alien maybe even fighting over them with a fist?

"getting married-funny"
Well at least it's funny for one. Think he can roll over and speak, as well as play dead and run?

"poop scoop monk"

A poop scoop monk? Can he also slam dunk? Does he give off some zen to all women and men?

"dead fake bunny"

More with the damn Easter Bunny. I should start charging money.

"lump near the crack of my butt?"

No, I don't want to see! Go visit a doctor, not me.

"what happens when a condom is expired"

Umm a magic stork visits you and drops off a hairpulling, snot nose, diaper bomb when 9 months come due.

"farts don't trust them"

What's not to trust? Farting is a must. Can't say I'd recommend doing it during lust as the mood might go bust.

"hoa dare you fart before my wife"

I guess farting has come due. If she doesn't like it, don't come to view. For sometimes I have pass gas from my little rhyming ass.

Now for the more scary ones. Warning! Some of these might give you the runs.

"caged female prisoner"

I don't even want to know what you were thinking at your show.

"hot dog humping"

Now this is just scary and I'm sure it would be hairy. I would much rather watch a mutt sniff a butt, whoever wants to see them hump is a nut.

"hot dog bush"

Not only that but you want to see something that even more so disturbs the cat. I hope in some way your are talking about what you eat. Strat! Bad choice of words, I'll end this beat.

"playboy girl hot big boobs nice pussy"

You were just looking for a big boobed girl with a cat, right? I can respect your need for such a delight. What? I'm meaning naive? If you don't like it leave.

"old kissing lady with no teeth"
Enough said! Truly must cause dread.

And the winner this time is something not so sublime.

"big eyed nocturnal crack"

I know a full moon decides to show at night more than in the daylight. But I have never seen one with eyes on either side of the crack. I hope it stays that way at my shack. Clearly someone has such a fetish their way. I hope they found their big eyed crack display. That is all for this search engine pass, until next time crazy search engine using people, I bid adieu with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. I've been collecting some of the search terms that have brought people to my blog and was planning a post like this one for next week. Yours are so much worse than mine that I feel good about myself right now!

    1. Yeah that's the best thing to do
      Collect those that search for you
      Then piece the best together for a post
      Makes for quite the fun roast
      Glad I could make you feel good too
      Although I'm sure yours will be fun to view

    2. I made dick jokes one time on my page and I'm still getting search results for that. Searches with the word tits though are still number one. I should have done A Gorgeous Pair of Tits for Lent today, but I thought I'd go to hell for that, so I changed my mind.

    3. hahaha bah I'm sure you won't fall down the well
      And go to hell
      All one has to do is use tits or dicks or some word of the like
      And many nut cases will begin to hike
      To your place
      Then you can make fun of the scaries to their face..haha

  2. Wow this is such an awesome idea Pat, I can't believe that last section where some seriously weird people have obviously been flocking to your blog. But seriously dude, I love the concept of using the search results. I don't check mine often but if I had anything interesting I would now be tempted to blog about it some time. I guess I'd have to credit since it is in your... debit!

    1. Oh yeah the weirdos come from far and wide
      And seem to take pride
      In finding bush number three
      But to see them causes me glee
      For I can make fun
      Giving them a rhyming run
      And I'm not the first to do it
      So go ahead and have your search term post fit..haha

  3. You've gotta love the search engine.
    It makes me laugh daily when I look.

    1. Yeah some of the things people type are crazy
      Would make a nun's eyes go hazy..haha

  4. those scary ones were Freddy Krueger scary ones! And the granny pic was Friday the 13TH scary pic.

    1. hahaha if they were the remakes too
      That would be so scary the cat's meow may turn to a moo

    2. The day wouldn't be complete
      if I didn't come here the Dez to seek
      have to give a little tease
      while he's across the world snoring Z's.

    3. haha you like going after Dez at my sea
      So much fun watching at bush number three

    4. yep, he's drooling on his pillow now
      and maybe giving a little scowl.

    5. look who's talking, Orlin
      we all know you do some drooling.
      and that's when you're awake
      so your head you should not shake!

    6. Shhh not all know
      Besides the cat only drools when he purrs at his show..haha

  5. hahaha..i am laughing too hard to rhyme...a crime liks hot dog humping or lu,p on your crack showing....i might gst sick so i better get going...

    1. hahaha yeah just thinking about some
      Especially those with a bum
      Could make one sick
      So running away would be the trick
      To avoid the weirdos that come by
      Although you might make them cry..haha

  6. Replies
    1. Well if I didn't have to work and lurk
      It might be a better day but I can still smirk

  7. LMAO @ farts don't trust them!! hahaha They could be lieing to you. Maybe a whoopi cushion?

    aww and these people making fun of poor little weiner pooches!!! Shame on them!

    Who the HELL would google an old lady kissing with no teeth!?? Talk about SICK, disturbed fetishes...That person ain't got nutin on my CreepyCupid. hahaha Every see Scary Movie when that actually happened? Omg! bleh, barf, gag. Awful images just came back to my brain.

    1. Yeah true a whoopi cushion could be what they mean
      As those can make quite the scene
      Still such a liar
      About a fart sire
      Pat and the Cracks
      Only do real ones in their

      Seem many make fun of the weiner dog
      I guess the name asks for it and the fact they at shaped like a log..haha

      Yeah I saw scary movie and a few others where that came due
      Was just very very ewwww
      And nothing on your creepy cupid and they have the fetish you say?
      Hmmmm seeing that creepy cupid would really cause dismay
      Now now don't spit any more on your screen
      And all the noise making could make a scene
      Once more blame the cat
      Confusing the Japanese at your mat..haha

    2. Pat and the Cracks!! You're really owning that. I still crack up every time while reading it aloud!!!! I'm surprised the cat didn't get in on that one. LOL!!!

      Aww my babies are not shaped like logs! They are adorable! My older wiener pooch started barking at some giant beast over the weekend. You know that big lug SAT on my pooch to shut him up?! The younger one came to his defense and attacked from behind. Point is, maybe the rabid he-man of a dog thought my older weiner pooch was a log to sit on for a break!!! I now blame you for that whole ordeal.

      It's all the cats fault! Even that creepy cupid. Sigh...My innocent little brain would never come up with such a thing on its own!!!!!

    3. hahaha yeah I'm never letting that one go
      Such a worthwhile group you made at my show
      Plus Pat will be in the shadows and not infront of the moon
      So no cracks will be seen by that loon..hahaha
      The cat has his rhyming ass
      And is snip snip so no need to look at a crack or a lass..haha

      The wiener pooches do think they are big and brave
      Barking at all who enter their cave
      Teh he-man dog just though he was swell
      And wanted to sit for a spell
      But the cat can take the blame
      So fun causing a little dog game haha

      Pffft all my fault?
      Your the one putting cat and people mating in my head at your vault
      Innocent little brain my behind
      Open it up and creepy cupid, among other ideas you will find..hahahaha

    4. That's just the thing...we never gave Pat and The Cracks a show to perform. What should their specialty be? Hmmm...Let me think... hahahaha

      They are big and brave!!!! A few years ago, the younger one bit off my ex's thumbnail. Protective they are :)

      Creepy Cupid was 110% you!!! Stop blaming me for your sick fetishes. Creepy Cupid is probably one of The Cracks anways!! Sigh...

    5. Pat will manage in the background
      Letting The Cracks make all the sound
      Or show their you know
      Taking in the dough
      Plus nothing can be worse than that wiggle thing
      Unless tons of cracks jiggled as they started to

      Wow protective indeed
      One way to scare stalkers away from your feed
      The little weiners seem all nice and cute
      Then they bit of pieces of any brute...haha

      I just brought the idea into your view
      You let it come due
      Your mind created it
      So not very innocent one little
      Creepy Cupid Cracks
      Many would run from such acts...hahahaha

    6. Pat and The Cracks Guest Starring Creepy Cupid. LOL!!!!!!

      Ohh your wiggling zebra. Don't be ashamed! Let it join the crew. Or let Cupid borrow it. hahahaha

    7. Creepy Cupid might stretch the poor Zebra out of shape
      Or squash him like a grape
      Plus Pat doesn't mind wearing it
      Was quite the hit
      So no shame
      From the zebra which may or may not be tame..LOL

    8. Are you insinuating that Creepy Cupid has a large waist line or that he's um...gifted??? From what I remember from WigglesZebra he was attached to an elastic band that can't be stretched out! So it must be the latter... Well, hey, at least now we know why he neighs!!

      Cupid's going to punish you for all this bad publicity!!!!!! Sigh...

    9. I was insinuating he has a large waistline
      But then who knows as cupid is supposedly all divine..LOL
      Whether creepy or not
      He still has arrows that can be shot
      At least with the Zebra neigh
      One can hear him coming their way

      LOL that is more funny than you know
      I think cupid did punish Pat for the cat's show
      A future post will reveal why
      As the cat speaks for the poor guy

    10. LOL!! I can't wait for this one!!!

      Cupid who? I've never heard of him... hahaha

    11. Yeah best not to hear of him
      For his payback can be quite grim
      I'm still curling my nose up now
      But it is quite funny, yet wow

  8. Yes, I guess I do have a few fans... Some of those comparisons you made were less than flattering, but that was fun, nevertheless! Loved "so a car doesn't get rammed up their rear," haha!

    1. LOL it was the creepers that typed them in
      So all the less than flattering stuff was their sin
      And all in fun of course at my sea
      Some of these searchers need to be run over definitely

  9. It's cool that you can find search terms that bring people to your site. I'd have no clue how to do that.

    1. Well you are on blogger too
      So it's just under stats and traffic sources that they come due
      Then you can see
      What they search for with glee

    2. hey Pat,
      You got em all in. Ya know, I try to be a prim and proper old lady but then I read your post and the dog (not the hot-dog hump'n one) comes running in because of my sniggling and laughter. She looks at me like I'm crazy but I say, "oh no, it's this blog I'm reading." But she doesn't care. Maybe she's the hump-ee. Oh god, you got me doing it.

    3. hahaha that wasn't even half of the nuts at me sea
      I just picked the first ones I came across to show to thee..hahaha
      LOL the hump-ee..hahaha...well I hope she at least enjoyed it
      For the hump-er and his fit

  10. I am so NOT enjoying winter, can I come and smash your printer and keep mine so it works :)
    This is scary : safehousepoetry + sex LOLOL
    You or your little rhyming ass cats are all NUTS ... Make me smile though and sometimes even giggle out loud ;)
    We have snowflakes here today as BIG as toonies!

    1. hahaha sure I got one hear to smash
      Although it might be cheaper not to make the dash
      For with the price of gas
      You're prob better off taking a pass
      And smashing yours to a pile of rubble
      And buying a new one on the double
      hahaha being nuts is fine with me
      And yeah that is very scary
      We had the snowflakes like that here
      But they left when rain came near

  11. It is quite creepy to see what search results land people on my site (for obvious reasons). There are some truly wacko people out there doing some really "whacky" things at 3:00 a.m.

    The one that left me totally confused "hot dog bush"...what in the world??? If I wasn't afraid of getting a herpes virus on my computer I'd search the term myself to see what it turns up, aside from your page LOL

    1. hahaha can computers get herpes too?
      Damn! I guess I beat plaster it in rubber so such a thing doesn't come due
      Hot dog bush confused me too
      Not sure what they were trying to view
      Yeah the wackos are around
      And each and every blog at least one can be found

  12. Replies
    1. haha my reaction too
      But apparantley a whoopi cushion could come due

  13. I get some good ones my way and they've been getting stranger as days go by, but the ones the fly here at your bay, wow, they provide the dog head tilt and chuckling for days. Confusion as to intention, as to the pondering of how the typer could have been and what they were hoping to find, really has never been funnier. Perhaps a book can be made, with all this crazy search parameters rightfully displaced, perhaps in a dictionary way, you know I'd buy that here at my place. Heck, I've seen people make books of their tweets, and if those sell, this would be like furbies were way back christmas when.

    1. True a book could be made out of them with ease
      Be fun to go about it and tease
      But then Pat still has others on the go
      Plus some of the kiddie flow
      So a backburner idea that will have to be
      And just give me something to post at my sea
      Though God only knows what they are looking for
      Or how they even found my shore..haha

  14. I never get ANYTHING that fun. Lucky.

    1. hahaha maybe you need to rhyme
      Then you'll get the creepers after you for a time

  15. That old lady with no teeth is surely a fright.
    Methinks I'd rather sleep with the lights on at night.
    'Cause, if she chose to share my bed,
    color me gay. Better yet: dead.

    1. Yeah I think I'm with you there
      Waking up to her in my lair
      Would be quite a scare
      May even lose all my hair umm down there..haha

  16. "playboy girl hot big boobs nice pussy" I like that!

    1. haha did you search that
      Just to find the cat

  17. Yes Pat Im a Silver fan, of course, but yours too (lol)

    1. I guess I can share with the fox
      After all his hiatus leaves you with little to say in his comment box

  18. Jax is right.. you have cool blog :)

    1. Jax is right?
      Oh that is a fright
      Shhh don't tell her that
      I'll never hear the end of it at my mat..haha

    2. Damn she saw
      Sticks out a claw

    3. Playing isketch...just

  19. It's unsettling to think that people are actually searching for these things--but it is rather amusing from a blogger's perspective.

    1. Yeah is really does amuse
      And allows me to abuse
      But people actually typing in this stuff
      Is crazy and they need a good cuff

  20. I guess I'm trying to figure out
    why the 'natasha betsy' search is under Fox's shout.
    Do you think it was him looking for the two of us? he's going to tell me to "shush!"

    on the other hand, I'm flattered someone searched for me
    along with natasha, you see.
    She's lovely and can write poetry, too
    which is something I cannot do! :)

    Your search words are much more fun than mine
    yours are dirtier and mine more sublime. :)

    1. Nope, that wasn't the ol' Fox searching for you and Natasha.

      I know where to find you, you see...

      Both of you.

      Heh, heh, heh.

    2. sounds like a threat.... (giggles..)

    3. From me? Heaven forbid!

      Uhhh... by the way... any chance there'd be room for a guy dressed as Zorro, and the guy's horse, in your bedroom?

      Why do I ask? Uhhh... no reason...

    4. Well Fox does show up at both or your places
      So I figured he was off to the races
      And tried to combine the two
      To make it easier to view
      Yes they are dirty indeed
      Those who search my feed
      I guess I say ass too many times
      Or maybe they just like rhymes

      Fox had an evil laugh too
      Hmmm Zorro may have gone to the darkside or sniffed some glue

    5. There've been a lot of different Zorros. I guess it depends on who's wearing the costume.

    6. I suppose
      As the next one could curl your toes
      For Zorro will be in the wasteland of the future in a new movie
      Fighting off bad guys, isn't that groove?

    7. A futuristic Zorro? Oh, how absurd!
      You've ruined my evening, cuz I hadn't heard!

    8. Sorry about that
      But it is get ready to film at some studio flat
      So it will come
      Try not to be too glum

    9. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen!"
      My head's on my desk, and I'm bawlin'!

    10. hahaha maybe it will get canned in we're lucky
      That be just ducky
      But I doubt it
      For they have the script, actor and everything hired, expecting a hit

    11. Well, even though my eyes are wet,
      I'll check this disaster on the 'net!

    12. Oh, gosh! I checked the Zorro news!
      I fear that this one's born to lose!

    13. Can't say I hold much hope
      For that future Zorro dope

    14. I hate to judge it early
      But it's got me feeling squirrely.
      I just don't like their "take."
      In the
      future, for Pete's sake?!?

    15. Well at least it's not the same old same old
      Friggin origin story for the 1000th time being told

  21. Oh Pat..this post is so funny..ha..ha...
    My search engine words though are not as fun as yours.

    My haiku challenge is until end of Feb...yes, I will be glad when its over so I can rest ~ Thanks for your visit ~

    1. haha yeah they are quite fun
      So I must give them a run
      Sure you have some dirty ones too
      Just from the pics you have to view
      Almost there
      Are you all haiku-ed out at your lair?..haha

  22. That was ummm interesting, yeah the hot dog bush, that one got me.

    1. Maybe the were seeking hot crossed buns
      And got the runs
      Typing fast
      And the bush came out at last

  23. i was laughing at several points. this line was great: nothing like rhyming and doing it. that would take some skill I will admit.

    1. LOL yeah not sure if I could do that
      Would take some skill indeed from the cat

    2. well, if anyone could do it
      it would be you, Pat.
      and that's a Face It Fact. :)

    3. haha not one I would share though
      Here at my show..haha

    4. wasn't asking for a script!
      that should be kept secret!

    5. LOL never know though
      The cat is a perve makes his eyes go...hahahaha

    6. next brain tour I'll cover my ears
      and say 'lalalalala' with some fear.

    7. Then I'll know you are there
      And kick you out of my brain lair..haha

  24. Congrats on almost 4000 veiws!

    I noticed you changed your banner too! So YOUR in control? Does the cat like you saying that?

    Now I'm off to google to see if I can find any pictures of "bikini cages"!

    1. Hmmm you just noticed I changed that?
      Where have you been looking at my mat?
      Been that way for a month or more
      Here at my shore
      And the cat has all the control
      Pat just plugs the books and goes for a stroll
      Have fun with those bikini cages
      But watch out they may take all your wages

    2. poor bersercules
      lets buy him some spectacles

    3. Yeah he needs a pair
      I would say for his lair

    4. I ment the words "Take a rhyming stroll as I assume control" I know the picture changed a long time back.

    5. Ohhh haha well those have been there about a few days to a week after the pic went up
      But I miss words too so it isn't a hiccup

  25. Wow! Over 4000 views. Love that last picture, btw. How'd you get that picture of me? I thought I'd shredded that thing. lol

    1. Once it's out there in the internet lanes
      It boards many trains
      So the pic can be found
      Better off burying it in the ground..haha

  26. Ohhh man I don't like grammar nazis that's for sure

    1. hahaha don't like those poor nazi's of grammar
      Better ready your hammer..haha

  27. I hope mowing the lawn in ones undies doesn't become a fad. I'd rather not see any of the guys in the neighborhood do that. And especially not my hubby. He's the only guy around here with a rocking body, and I'd rather not have to chase the women away while I protect my man from their wondering eyes. Not to mention, can you imagine what that will do to their spouses' self-esteem? :D

    1. hahaha well it could make the whole neighborhood get in shape
      Instead of being plump like a grape
      Or they could mope and eat more
      So yeah better off not doing such a thing at your shore

  28. congrats on 4000 views
    with a cat as a muse

    1. The cat as the muse is grand
      As many watch the theme to his land

  29. These search engine queries are so entertaining when you put the magic in your paws into poetry.

    1. haha hard not to give a rhyme to such searches as my sea
      As they cause me such glee

  30. Great job on the 4000 views! I gotta tell you, that old kissing lady is gross! Only her mom could want to kiss a face like that. (Maybe- or maybe not!)

    1. haha yeah that be a big maybe indeed
      I think even her mom would take heed

  31. Congrats on the video views, and I gave it a thumbs up

    nice to see a good youtube video while drinking from my cup

    1. Thanks for being all thumbs
      As the video hums..haha

  32. Man, a lot of my blog searches include the word "derp" for some reason.

    I wonder why...

    1. Hmmm that is really strange
      I really have no idea why that search term would pop up at your range..haha

  33. haha youve putted it together really well!!

    1. Yeah some had me thinking what the hell
      But I but them together and rang the bell

  34. The crack of the moon was what i got, and not to be crude, possibly rude thats what you see with the high def tv.
    Don't they call it google whacking, to show the tracking of words that connect its rare as hens teeth, but the net is a weird place. So dont lose face. Mainly its boobs, for the rubes to distract from the facts.

    This one made me laugh.

    1. haha Google whacking is good
      Remember that one I should
      A weird place indeed
      Many should take heed
      As those poor creepy boobs
      Forget the tubes
      And use the net
      Finding their creepy way to this pet


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