Screw You Nancy Grace, Whoopdi Friggin Do Is In Your Face!

Robbie Raisin is here once more with an encore. But today I have to skip the game show for this blithering nonsense continually hits a new low. So I will save you all the trouble and bury that crap in rubble on the double, but I won't burst your bubble. For it involves a body part and isn't for the faint of heart.

Will I be repeating that same old crap over and over, sounding like a parrot crossed with a rover? Nah! I'll leave that for those poor distraught celebrity over and over again yappers news hounds. I wouldn't want to show up their looped rounds. For I have gone out and found witnesses and experts that aren't shady. Sadly I couldn't secure a Brady. They were too busy singing over their lunch, what a bunch. I'm sure these guys/girls are the next best thing. So what is the awesome story I bring?

The Zombie Foot
Myth? Legend? Or Fact!
(I know such a nasty looking act)

The powers that be seem to be hiding this one under their tree. Humans aren't going full on Zombie like the movies would suggest. It's only their right foot, forget the rest. They can't find the cure and don't want to alarm. I hear in Area 51 they have a zombie foot farm. We have to herd these people up fast before the plague gets vast. But what are the symptoms of zombie foot carriers? For that news I sought out a reliable source and broke all the barriers.

Reliable Source
I've gathered plenty of intel on this disease and it seems it can make your brain freeze. Don't believe me? Just look at the people I've had to study.

Jannie Funster
I eats me shingles and counts me pringles.
(mixed up speech)

I know but i need my sleep just like betsy, will return in the morning dry, not wetsy...hopefully
(wetting the bed)

My tongue went numb because of ant spray
(Wrong use of cleaning products)

I laughed so hard that I just coughed up a lung
(Losing your insides)

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you starve us do we not die? If you stick us in a room with video games do we not play them for endless hours!
(Asking questions in threes)

I do want to go to Char­gogagogmanchargogagog­charbuna­gungamog

(Ability to prounance such long names)

Leon Kennedy
My hat's off to you sir

(Taking hats off)

Interwebs Fails
My brain is drunk

(Excess alcohol abuse)

Penguins had to resuscitate me
(Mixing humans with penguins)

but the only hammer I work about is Lord Google's (BAN)hammer

(Bowing to figments of ones imagination)

Sorry i think i'm here by mistake

Sometimes i think it would be nice to get the flu
(A want to get sick)

I never have any luck with these things but maybe this time I'll be lucky.
(Further proof for the want to get it)

Yeah.. I'm with DWei.
(The need to copy)

The Angry Lurker
It does hurt...thanks...where's the paracetamol

(Not knowing where it hurts)

Money counts, to help you bounce.

(Bouncing on money)

Is that a place in Africa

(Not sure where they are)

U can't touch this

(Developed a fear of touch)

This chair sounds so awesome.
(Thinking furniture can talk)

Lots of bad-breath villains trying t kill me lately

A telly I don't possess
(No TV)

Mama Zen
I may never go again
(The need to hold it)

The boobies sure raise temperatures
(I guess that's normal)

But I've gotta run, as Elvis has left the building

I start to itch as soon as my dog begins to scratch
(Enough said)

Silver Fox
You should have heard the high notes I could hit
(Change in pitch)

Thanks for offering something that I can take and abuse others with.
(The want to scare people with the zombie foot)

Spider bites on dog balls truly appalls.
(True, but who looks there?)

Playing with Wet Willy

The two naked men trying to crack each others backs almost made me gag
(Poor gag reflex)

I have such a football field where no real catches have been made but it exists every week
(Seeing imaginary fields)

Nice rhymes!
Great rhymes!
Great rhymes with nice pictures!

Now you know what to look for as the symptoms grow. But for more information on this scary disease, I, Robbie Raisin, put my life on the line in order to appease. I visited some of the carriers of this plague and even though some were a bit vague, I got the inside scoop to keep you in the loop.

I need a drink. Or a new brain, whichever is available.
(They were so confused)

Other Mary
I think you'd better get your armor ready
(They were violent)

I am doing the hammer dance gig

(They danced a jig)

Max Evel
U can't touch this!
oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh

(See what I mean?)

There's no way I want to end up like bird head
(Paranoid and bird head?)

Silver Fox
Should've given my comment a semi-colonoscopy before I hit "publish," eh?
(Just sounds so wrong)

Uncovered the baloney behind the phony
(Searching for magical things)

They'd all fart at the same time and set light to them with such a woooshhh!
(An increase in gas)

Do we have the luck Against all eventualities
(Always wanting to win)

Mama Zen
Can't we just call Ben Affleck?
(Relying on actors)

Is an idea that came from the bowels of hell itself
(Scary talk)

But my favorite show by far: What else? My Mother, the Car
(Made me watch the worse show ever)

Swimm in the loo
(Enough said)

They are just a bunch of jelly bellies
(Obsessively needed to poke bellies)

I need to drink some more Mountain Dew and try again
(Thought Mountain Dew was the cure)

I'd like to see someone push a moose
(Daring the others)

I would use that glassy toilet any time
(Wanted to be seen no matter what)

Oranges... rhyme that...
(Ridiculous challenges)

I love how so many of these comments are about hairy backs/back shaving/back in general
(Obsessed with back hair)

Freaky Fickle Flavicon Flip Flopping Fearlessly
(Enough said)

Now hold on a sec as I grab my wooden spoon mic and have another read and sing as loud as I like
(I said it was enough)

Cough cough wheeze...oh, sorry, did you say something?
(Losing their minds)

crap it ate my comment
(Thought crap could eat comments)

This was a gas, so i will leave it on your ass
(There was continuous ass looking)

It wasn't a pretty sight. Thank your lucky stars I didn't show images so you can still sleep tonight. Is there a way to counteract this awful plight? For that I took flight to the CDC and this is what they told me.

CDC Person
We have discovered nothing about this disease as of now. Other than they are crazy like a mad cow. They seem to be saying the first thing that pops in. Just take these examples from our recording bin.

The most interesting one is "There's poop coming from my ceiling".
(Don't want to know how it got up there)

Usually when you type these words, you end up my freaking way
(Who's typing?)

Silver Fox
Your supply of Pringles is amazing... and a tad scary
(Scared of pringles hmmm)

Lets lay down flat as we can and pretend we're like a tree, that would be cool woopee
(At least he's having fun.)

That I crush with all men
(Enough said)

Makes me feel to vomit
(I hope she aims for the bucket)

We got allergies, and we like our toilet
(Just what I needed to know)

Al it more than fun than a barrel of monkeys in bunched-up panties?
(Quite the visual)

I did witness my friend puke in his shoe
(Just had to blurt that out?)

Yay! You wrote a whole post about me... I think... I'm not sure... I don't understand it all...
(Complete and utter confusion)

I'm trying to keep my mouth shut. It's not easy
(Saying that thus proving it's not easy)

Jannie Funster
What would be worse Than 29 long needles From a bitchy nurse
(God only knows)

My brain's a mess after reading this..full of stress...think i need a nurse
(I guess they need a nurse bad)

You would be strip searched and we would discover THAT you're not a penguin
(A growing penguin fetish)

Pinching my nose so that the stink you stunk passes, gases from asses kill masses of people each year
(The poor masses)

A fogging stall and a talking flush? That's enough to make me blush

er gross, guess that was not flavored oxygen i was sucking down

So THAT'S why my cereal tasted funny this morning

Yes, icky! and kind of sticky they aren't at all picky to chew on electricity

Great i get the blame for what spills from your brain
(Make any sense of that conversation?)

Mama Zen
People like that drive me crazy!

Those shoe flies are bad news I'm telling you
(Maybe they are the cause?)

A bug free crack is just the way I like it
(Umm, hmmm, errr, so wrong!)

Silver Fox
And as far as John Smith being "such a cad," haha... What if he's not, but the other person wants to spread vicious lies?
(Anyone have an answer?)

I agree with the Silver Fart that #1 ain't got the stuff
(I guess that will do)

An asteroid like a ball is round It rolls away easily on the floor
(Must be one mighty big floor)

Good grief, need a pill now to settle petal
(Bloody Hell!)

I think I would be driven wild By a super yappy adult or child
(Hard to avoid both)

You're so snippy with your zippy words newcomers would think we're absurd!
(She talking to me?)

Artsy-fartsy is ALWAYS a good thing
(Don't do both at once.)

Every one needs snow butts on a Monday

(Let it snow)

Zap McBlowfist
now we just neeed more women to randomly do this

(Just imagine what "this" is)

Fingers switched with toes could INDEED cause a problem!
(And it just gets worse from there)

See what I mean? A truly loony tunes scene. So that is the report on the new plague sweeping across the planet. I say bury the zombie feet in granite. Maybe with no air they'll go back to being a normal pair. Let's hope this gets under control before your zombie foot decides to take you for a stroll. I'm glad I could share this with all of you and I know it was a little out of the blue. But the people need to be told while the powers that be just worry about their gold.

This was a Robbie Raisin exclusive report. Sorry if it wasn't short.

The cat would never chew on that foot, ever! That thing is so nasty I think I'd sooner sever the thing than let zombie foot fling. So glad it's only spread to you humans though, meaning the cat is nice and safe at his show. I will hide until this thing starts to pass as zombie foot doesn't sit well with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. i somehow read your title as
    screw you nancy drew :p


    1. LOL well screw Nancy Drew does rhyme
      Although it does sound a tad bad and may be a crime

  2. Replies
    1. Witty they do seem to be
      As they come day in day out at my sea

  3. Fecking hell that's epic and slightly confusing, you're a genius!

    1. LOL I got a fecking hell
      That is great to see at my well
      And a genius too
      I think me ego rose so high I flew

  4. haha that awesome, how come all mine have to do with ass, seriously i say other things than that and talk about gas...haha nice you used these in context you know...oh how my smile did grow...those toe nails though made me throw up, now i need to go brush my teeth and freshen my breathe

    1. Yeah the pic was seen by a co-worker as she walked by
      And it was so gross it almost mad her cry
      So I just had to use it after that
      Sickening to Pat and the cat
      But had to me done
      And yeah you say things that are tons of fun
      I just kept randomly going through
      And those are the ones I landed on from you..haha

  5. What can I say? You've outdone yourself. Those Zombie feet also really stink.

    1. Yeah they really really stink
      Enough to bring one to the brink
      And outdone myself once more
      Oh so nice to hear at my shore

  6. Amazing stuff Pat, you've managed to capture the essence of all of our opinions so well too! I really hope that the feet photo is photoshopped or something though, ouch!

    1. I don't think it is photoshopped
      Or even cropped
      Which is all the more nasty indeed
      But oh well made for such fun at my feed

  7. Being a renegade Photoshop guy. Um yeah... I am pretty sure those are just some stinky feet.
    Somebody needs a good clipping and a soak for a week.
    Them toes are nasty!

    U can't touch this!
    oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh ...
    I don't wanna touch it !

    1. Yeah I'm pretty sure you are right
      Might have to clip all damn night
      To get rid of that ugly sight
      LOL can't say I blame you, they are quite the fright

  8. that's my 3d attempt today i just couldn't make it father then to the image because every time i saw it i just held my bucket tight forgetting why i came here in the first place ... haha ...
    brilliant! :-)

    1. LOL you know it may seem a tad mean of me
      But I so love to hear that at bush number three
      Such fun with the reaction I can get from that nasty thing
      But at least you came back to let your comment fling

    2. i wouldn't want to miss the fun :-) and no i didn't find it mean, i'm not lying i felt like throwing up! hope these are not your toes ... haha ;-)

    3. Poor Birdie feeling yuck
      needing to reach for the
      And she was sick before she read
      probably laying there in her bed.

    4. so true Betsy not feeling my best in the first place just made me maybe a bit more sensible to that image, Pat should have put a warning sign at the beginning :-)

    5. Yeah, I felt grossly mesmerized looking at it
      trying to figure out what disease had hit
      Certainly made me 'curl my nose'
      as Pat likes to say, don'tcha know!

    6. Nope not my toes
      That would bring woes
      I'd chop my foot off
      Or at least scoff

      A cheating rhyme
      Such a crime
      Being sick before hand
      Gives her even more reason not to find it grand

      LOL I'll invest in a big neon flashing sign
      The next time I go down the scary line

      You were mesmerized by that
      Hmmm that is sad to the cat
      Go back to Tarsier Man and the bug eyes
      Over that I'll take is nutty cries

  9. Pat this is just great! I can't believe you did this. As I was reading them, so many of the posts that these were left on came back to me. I think that with as many rhymes that you use to reply to each comment, we all owed you at least one blog.

    1. hahaha yeah took a while to go through
      All the comments that came due
      Glad I could bring the posts back
      Even if some may best be forgotten at my shack
      And yeah I collected on what was due
      Stealing the words of all of you..haha

  10. The underlying message here seems to be that your audience is diseased... and your gift for selecting specific quotes from all of us would be envied by any politician!

    1. I'm the envy of one of those
      Eww that's almost worse than nasty
      Well you know I have found as I go around
      That many bloggers have some form of ocd at their ground
      Or some weird quirk
      That gives me a smirk
      So technically such a message may be correct
      I just hope no one has a foot that stands that erect

  11. Ouch...that looks so ugly!

    1. LOL that is does indeed
      That foot must even bleed

    2. R has spoken!
      His comment slump is broken!

    3. Yep he ended his repetition streak
      As he came to take a peek

  12. Cat you naughty Pat, you should really trim your toenails (at least I hope those are toenails and not the ones on your upper claws) before you grace us with the selfpic :)

    1. my computer monitor got fungus just by opening the page with that pic...

    2. computer fungus?
      I think that's worse than a virus!
      I'm raising my protection to a higher level
      this fungus would scare the devil!

    3. lol at Betsy's comment

    4. Now now Dez don't shift the blame
      You know your penguins sent me that pic of your toes that was not so tame
      They just had to get the word out
      So don't

      LOL computer fungus the new wave sweeping the net
      Thanks to this rhyming pet

      Raise that protection a ton
      If you see it, don't touch, just run

      See at least Betsy made you forget the zombie feet
      Wasn't that neat

    5. That was Dez's foot?
      Ewww...Dez! Your penguins let your secret out!
      Now you'll probably give them a shout.

    6. Yep Dez has a horrible case of zombie foot over there
      Thank God we are nowhere near that penguin lair

    7. Dez~ At least trim your toenails
      so you can wear shoes without fail!
      Does that hurt, that fungus?
      I can see you walking like the penguins among us!

    8. Maybe that's why Dez relates to the penguins so well
      Still having a foot like that must be hell

    9. that's it, I'm suing both of you and taking you to court, you're going down! Pat for creating lies about me, and Betsy for spreading them! Now, where did I left the phone number of my attorney... Ally McBeal?

    10. LOL I believe that phone number is out of order
      And you'd have to hop a border
      For she was cancelled long long ago
      But the cat will eat any lawsuit papers that show..haha

    11. Pat ~ how do you and I get in these binds?
      What's going on in these people's minds?
      Dez ~ just save those court costs for a good podiatrist
      No, really! I insist!

    12. LOL yes he would be better off to do just that
      Then try to fight with you and the cat

  13. yack! aag! and you know, you enjoy this Pat!
    First blog I see and I dont feel well:(

    1. he's trying to make us all sick! lol.

      your quotes he used were funny, though, Gloria! :)

    2. LOL oh yes it is enjoyed much by Pat
      Just keep all the germs if you get sick at your mat..haha

      Yeah had to give her quotes a go
      So that she give her less of a sickly glow

    3. yeah Betsy but what I said I dont feel well and with this....... yeah feel me sick

    4. Awwwww poor Gloria is feeling ick
      hahahaha don't you want to give the foot a little lick

  14. I had to pull off my slippers
    and check out my flippers
    Breathing a sigh of relief
    as they still look lovely beyond belief
    Still pink and smooth with a fresh peddy
    So glad as the zombie foot made me feel unsteady.

    You clever cat
    this was so funny at your mat
    I laughed so hard as some of the lines
    and yes, Brian says ass and gas all the time!

    1. haha made you look
      Score one for my nook
      Although zombie foot could make anyone unsteady
      And want to be at the ready
      Yep your twin does say it a ton
      As he ends with it at the end of his comment run

  15. Oh god, I don't think it's just cats who would stay far away from that thing.

    1. LOL yeah even the most lowly creature would avoid that
      From a cat to a rat to a little old gnat

  16. Wow, nothing is safe here!!! I lol-ed at your commentary from our comments. You're a comment hoarder with zombie feet!!

    Don't scare me with ailments like this. You'll put us all in therapy. Whoever Nancy Grace is, I don't approve!!

    Anddd there's the bug free crack comment! Looks like I stumped you on that one. All you could say about it that it was wrong! I don't think it's wrong at all. It's better than a bug FILLED crack. Sigh...

    1. At least hoarding comments doesn't take up space
      At my actual place
      As the movies leave no room
      And that would spell doom
      And nope not a thing is safe at my sea
      As I will bring about almost anything with glee
      LOL now maybe your foot with twitch all day
      And there is hope for you after all with that display
      As you don't know who that dumby is at all
      I just raised your percentage back up at my hall
      LOL yes it is better I suppose
      But who goes around stating such woes

    2. I'm back up at percentage??? In that case I won't even google her!!! I'll stay put in my ignorant bliss. Am I back up to 100% yet?

    3. You're back up to are 85% I'll say
      But since you are staying put in your ignorant bliss today
      I'll move it up to 90% for that
      Still can't go to 100% with you being a bit blabber mouthey at your mat..hahaha

    4. I'm not blabber mouthy!! You're just mad b/c I ever so slightly breached the top of the man code!! Sigh...

      I can live with 90%. That's still an A!!! :)

    5. A breach is a breach
      But I will not preach
      Until you do something blabber mouthy that takes you to a B
      Or maybe even the dreaded

  17. That was glorious and brilliant! I only regret we couldn't be a part of the madness. Let me know next time. I'll eat plenty of paint chips and drink lots of kerosene and we can have a grand ol' time!

    1. LOL sound like a plan
      Glad you were a big fan
      I tried to grab as many as I came across
      But yeah some were at a loss
      As my eyes went criss cross
      And began to gloss
      Going through all the comments in my search
      And it was easier to find the regulars at my

  18. You are either a genius or insane to have devised this read!
    It must have taken hours to get this keyed.
    You are an artist of the most amazing sort,
    though some of your statements made me snort!
    Now I can get on with my day
    since I have enjoyed your play!
    (And that photograph made me wince.)

    1. LOL I like being insane
      So we'll go with that one at my lane
      This one did take more than the usual 15 minute affair
      As I went about it at my lair
      And I made you
      That is fun to hear at my fort

    2. There is a thin line between some say
      So both will work for me at my bay

  19. Even if that pic is gross, I was amused by your post
    composing of our comments and your responses...its so funny
    reading it now...Thanks for the tip about the comment thingy

    Enjoyed this show Pat..have a good day ~


    1. Glad it was enjoyed even with the nasty pic
      Those toes have to be of a hick
      Hopefully my tip made sense
      As I gave my ten cents
      Is funny taking them a tad out of context too
      As some newbies might think we're all nuts with what came due..haha

    2. Ha..ha...See its easy to read your comments too ~

      Before we had to scroll and guess which one is ours; yes, my comment thingy works ...:-0

    3. I was just trying to keep your counting skills up before
      But yeah this is sooo much easier to view at my shore

  20. Oh god that foot scares me! It will haunght my dreams for weeks! Yay! I appear three times in this! Great rhyming work as always!

    1. Well zombie foot and haunting are sort of the same deal
      Both a bit surreal
      And you counted too
      Look at you
      Good thing I didn't make it 11 times
      Then you may have had to take your shoes off exposing your zombie foot to mimes..LOL

  21. Oh wow, that has scarred me for the un-forseeable future, i HATE feet & that is just horrid, omg, really, errrrrr hehe :((((

    1. LOL well I don't hate feet that are zombied like the above
      Yet I can see how you don't feel the zombie love..hahaha

  22. Some pretty nasty feet those are, someone ought to take him to the foot doctor, and pronto, geez. Another robbie raisin doing the news reporting thing, taking comments out of context and putting them where they can, funny stuff, very funny indeed. This type of thing happens all the time, especially in politics. Well, even if these zombie feet would come to be, they'll have to deal with another Resident Evil coming out this summer, and there, well Alice will scrub them clean

    1. haha I'd say they should be taken somewhere
      As they could become a pair
      That be even worse
      I'd surely curse
      Yeah Alice is back
      Along with a bunch of people who thought dead on the attack
      So those feet will be toast
      As she'll make them roast

  23. lol they look so tasty :)

    nice post.. i tagged you in my challenge

    1. hahaha you go right ahead and have a lick
      While me and my ocd think you are kind of

  24. Great stuff like always. Although, I must say todays illustrations were rather creepy.

    1. hahaha yeah creepy indeed I will say
      It truly does cause dismay

  25. swimm in the loo??? uhhggggg!!you love to show Pat the more horribles things! ugh!

    1. Showing a little horror is fun
      Don't you want to swin in the loo under the shiny sun?..haha

  26. Probably the first time i saw my name in print on somewhere that is not a bill. I like the ironic link between virus spread and discussion. Zombies take me back to my youth when i used to watch all those Italian horror movies, some people say they had such a huge amount of those types of movies because of their country's history with fascism and it was a way of dealing with it. But im hard pressed to see the political satire in a zombie getting its head blown off by a guy with an afro. I wanted to come up with a zombie pun but i can think of one.. so ill get my gun and..have

    1. Glad I could mint
      Your name in print
      For the first time
      Besides bills they are just a crime
      I think they are reading too much into them too
      As the zombie body parts come into view
      Not much else that surrounds that
      So the cat will grab a gun to and guard his mat

  27. Such a fun and exciting read.

    1. Can be fun and excite
      Even with a foot fright

  28. Great way to include your loyal readers. I guess my tactic of ninja commenting has kept me from the glaring foulness that is 'zombie foot'. We must get this antidote to everyone afllicted!

    1. Yeah got many that have been around a while
      And gone down the comment mile
      Don't worry you will get the zombie foot or something worse
      That could be just as diverse
      At some point in time
      As there will always be another rhyme
      So spread the news
      And the antidote cost dues

  29. Man, who gave you those photos of my foot?

    1. Damn it was supposed to be a secert you know
      Now you went and spoiled for all who come to see the

  30. I always feared I was paranoid (ALWAYS!)...thanks for confirming that I'm not crazy, and am actually crazy.

    1. hahaha glad I could prove you aren't crazy by being crazy
      At least you surely aren't lazy
      As you are too crazy
      That might make my eyes go hazy

  31. Hey Pat,

    PLEASE tell me that you *don't* know the owner of the foot :)

    1. LOL nope thankfully I have never seen that in real life
      That would surely cause my ocd strife

  32. ROFLMFAO!!!!

    I think I just coughed up the other lung.

    Oh and I'm still quivering about that picture LOL!

    1. LOL well you were able to comment still
      So I guess you made the lungs chill
      And pushed them back down
      hahaha yeah that pic does win the scary crown

  33. You are quite the genius
    Who puts on a great show.
    All the visuals are sick
    And twisted like the toe (nail).
    But nothing compares to the thick, ugly face -
    Not Al's visuals, or toenails,
    None but Nancy Grace.


    1. LOL yes nothing compares to that cow
      As she drones on and on and on raising each scary eyebrow
      Al's visuals aren't as bad as her
      Although I hear he has a thing for squirrel fur

  34. "The boobies sure raise temperatures"
    I'm actually cold now. I think I need a pair of those. ;)

    1. hahaha after seeing that I think we all do
      Unless zombie tit was to ensue...LOL

  35. Replies
    1. hahaha completely nasty all over
      I'd rather take a butt sniffing rover

  36. Blech, remind me not to read your blog right after supper. :)

    1. hahaha didn't even know you were about
      Hope the foot didn't make you pout
      See now you can save on food too
      Not wanting to eat after seeing such a thing come due

  37. Yep they're in Africa for sure. I saw a guy on TV with feet like that... Was on Ripleys though lol.

    1. haha not sure how much you can believe that
      But I will still avoid Africa not wanting to see that and scar the eyes of this cat

  38. Erk.. I think I'll skip my lunch now.

    1. LMAO sorry for that
      At least you can save on food at your mat

  39. Replies
    1. A good response indeed
      Of the zombie foot take heed!

  40. Replies
    1. hahaha yep way of the charts gross I will agree
      But such fun to use at bush number three

  41. Man you're good at replying to everyone. Also that foot is so nasty... ><

    1. Even if it's about a nasty foot at my sea
      I will reply for all visit me

  42. Wow, wtf man. Thats really gross. :P

    1. LOL maybe it's just the foot of a troll
      Out for a stroll


Post a Comment