The Bees Knees Without Fleas!

What do you want you old arsemonger? Are you dying of hunger? Do you just want to chew the fat? Bloody hell am I filling in for a rhyming cat? This is cattled up. Well let's jangle about and not dilly dally like some pup.

I'll dish the dirt,
And shall not flirt.
No rumpy pumpy will come due.
Bugger off if you want such a view.

No bloody wankers like that,
Are needed to chew the fat.
Scream blue murder if you must,
That I ruined your humpty hump lust.

For I'll have your guts for garters,
You better skedaddle as I take no barters.
Might turn you seven shades of shit.
Isn't that a tickity boo fit.

Don't piddle about.
Give a bloody shout.
Or bugger off.
If I make any airy fairy scoff.

Wow chrome dome.
You're a salad dodger and need to roam.
I just want to rip the piss,
No bit of fluff or any bliss.

For you'll take it up the poop chute,
Or be right as rain and toot.
Get good and wellied before hand,
The rumpy pumpy may be grand.

Don't get your skivvies in a bunch.
You can have your dull as dishwasher lunch.
May be rough as a badgers ass,
For an all fur coat and no knickers lass.

Such a piddly wanker.
Bugger off you banker.
No need to be mitthered by you.
Or your rubberneck crew.

What? You think your the mutts nuts?
The bees knees while sniffing butts?
The cat's whiskers or the dog's bullocks too?
Bloody hell you're quite the zoo.

I can see you arsemongers are rattled,
And this is good and cattled.
So I am bloody well done with this blog,
For I have to see a man about a dog.

I said I was bloody well done, so bugger off and go get some sun. That is right you bloody wankers and annoying bankers. We'll bloody well rip the piss some other time. I bloody well hate the bloody rhyme.

Wow! Where did that come from? Did someone try and hack my little rhyming bum? Did you understand half of what that creepy guy said? He kind of hurt the cat's head. That is those scary overseas people for you though as they try and invade the cats show. I hope he found his dog as he left a brown log. He was even crass which you know was enjoyed by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.


  1. Replies
    1. to be this good,
      let me begin

    2. Two days in a row
      Here at my show
      If you make it three
      Will really impress me
      Maybe not Hank
      As he wants you to walk the plank

  2. guts for garters...oh my...this was def a different voice for you, gritty and catty, maybe a little batty, no rump pump humpty hump here either, this gave me shivers so be a believer...scarier and scarier...

    1. haha yeah so many voices in my head
      Once in a while they need to be fed
      Sorry for the scare
      As a humpty hump happens whether or not there is hair

  3. Arsemonger is a word that hurts like if someone flipped the bird. I love your poems to an extent that this blog is a home and I guess gives me freedom to roam.

    I'm just rambling here and there today, great rhymes like always at Pat's bay.

    1. This blog is a home
      You really like my dome
      Betsy is right
      You need to get out more day and night haha
      But fun indeed
      Here at my feed

  4. Yikes, I think I will stay out of the way
    seems it is kind of a crazy-type day
    except for seeing a man about a dog
    but I can't see well in all of this fog.

    1. Yeah stay far far away
      From such a display
      For when he sees a man about a dog
      It means he needs to go pop out a brown log

  5. Gold, silver and bronze
    Brian had them twice over
    Enjoying it he said so
    No mean feat you must know!


    1. Brian is trying to defeat your streak
      He's on a roll so you may be up the creek

  6. Take it up the poop chute? No... shit!

  7. Reminds me of a quote from "A Clockwork Orange". Who knows what the hell they are saying LOL.

    "Ho, ho, ho! Well, if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!"

    1. haha yeah I thought of that movie when I went through
      Was a weird yet good one for a view

  8. Alright, who was that? They did a great job whoever it was!

    1. haha the cat channeled this and that
      And that is what came out at my mat

  9. Hey..hey.. some belligerence here
    Get him off your back good Pat
    Tell him you need no barters, no fear
    Let him be Pat just save the spat


    1. Save the spat?
      With Brian or this overseas cat
      Maybe both indeed
      As either are here running amock at my feed

  10. I wonder who came up with the term "Bees knees"

    or do they have legs nobody can see?

  11. What's a skivvy? Dammit, I need Anne!! lol I know what a wanker is now! I do!! lol

    1. A skivvy was usually a servant or someone you use to do demeaning work!

    2. LOL look at angry helping you out
      From my weird slang shout

  12. Good lord, I usually have to read your post thrice to understand, but this one even million times wouldnt help.

    This is like Canadian English or something?

    "So I am bloody well done with this blog,
    For I have to see a man about a dog"
    - Anything to do with million points lost by a Dog woman? ;-)

    Brown log- is this one more addition to your thesaurus for word "poop"? Overseas people I wonder who they are. Can you add a translate button for posts like this?

    1. I did not lose a million points!!! He doesn't have the power to do that. Only the point man can do that, and the cat isn't even a man!

    2. LOL all is slang for brit speak
      So you may be up the creek
      As I like to confuse
      And this guy likes to abuse hahahahaha

      Pfft you lose points when the cat says you lose points each time
      For you protect the stinkin mime

  13. I am laughing so hard. Your blog is epic.

    Oh and Bloody wankers and annoying bankers--INDEED! :0)

    1. LOL epic is fun to be
      As the bloody eejits visit my sea

  14. That had quite the pace to it! You should set it to music!

    1. hahaha would need a real British or Irish loon
      To do such a tune

  15. He kind of hurt my head as well...

  16. so much ebil in so little verses, lOL!

    1. Ebil has to come
      From my little rhyming bum
      Or the guy who has that speak
      And decided he need to go take a leak

  17. OMGoodness!! I'm nearly in tears with laughing here!
    You sound sooooo bloody ENGLISH! Hahaha
    What a bloody rant! LOLOL

    1. hahahaha I picked up many words for my book
      So I had to use it here at my nook

  18. Poor cat. He is okay now. :D

  19. You know sometimes I dont understand you so much.... this is one of these days:(

  20. Did sound like quite the English rant! At least there was no zebra in a thong - or maybe there was, I could be wrong?! :)

    1. Nope, with this english song
      There was no thong

  21. chrome dome, poop chutes and wankers
    i have little love for bankers and the guys who own those sea tankers
    let 'er rip and tell it like it is
    on the world i myself regularly take a whiz
    not that my behavior should encourage you
    otherwise we could make an expletive stew

    1. LOL oh that would be fun
      And surely must be done
      Take a whiz on and around the world too
      That surely has to come true

  22. Replies
    1. haha that they do
      Although them called that, I never knew

  23. A post like none before
    This was quite the rant at your shore
    Some creepy guy has lots to say
    It's never boring at your bay.


    1. Yeah I may confuse
      And often abuse
      But here at my shore
      I never try and bore

  24. wow...I thought Rick Tracker
    had gone on the
    Just missing the helicopter
    and some music on the blare.

    1. haha obviously that is where I knew the words from
      That allowed me to give a hum
      And a cheat rhyme
      You're almost as bad as a mime haha

    2. A mime?
      Not at any time!
      When was I ever that quiet?
      I talk so much it's a riot!

      Yeah, might as well use the info twice
      as the work was lots for a cat who eats mice!

    3. haha yeah guess you are just a cheat
      Sometimes with your rhyming beat
      As a non talker you never are
      Here at my bar
      And yeah may as well use
      To confuse and abuse

    4. Will you leave those poor mimes alone!!!!!! The mime police hears all! lol

    5. The mime police are too damn nosey for their own good
      Go away they should..haha

  25. Wow. That creepy guy just gave me a major headache. I didn't really need that, since my head went POP the other day. It took me forever to get it screwed back on. Now it's all messed up again. I say, it's dangerous at your bay!

    1. hahaha see as I always say
      Here at my bay
      You might want to pop a pill
      Before and after getting your rhyming thrill

  26. I was imagining you saying this in Brit accent
    no mitthered nor sniffing butts here ~

    Have a good night Pat ~

    1. My accent would be all over the place
      It would surely be a disgrace

  27. I sure did miss your blog man! I'm glad to be back! These rhymes don't stop...

    1. Nope the rhymes will never stop
      Here at my shop

  28. that guy sure seems to like talking about poo

  29. Hah, one of those demons popped into you, and then it became too much, and out came a black smoke and such. Fun overseas rhyme, love the slang and sounded really fun when read aloud. But I do have to blame you, I'm getting nothing done, and season four is shortly due. lol

    1. haha that is where you have been hiding at your den
      And why you put away your pen
      Wait until season five comes into view
      That was the best season between me and you


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