What do you want you old arsemonger? Are you dying of hunger? Do you just want to chew the fat? Bloody hell am I filling in for a rhyming cat? This is cattled up. Well let's jangle about and not dilly dally like some pup.
I'll dish the dirt,
And shall not flirt.
No rumpy pumpy will come due.
Bugger off if you want such a view.
No bloody wankers like that,
Are needed to chew the fat.
Scream blue murder if you must,
That I ruined your humpty hump lust.
For I'll have your guts for garters,
You better skedaddle as I take no barters.
Might turn you seven shades of shit.
Isn't that a tickity boo fit.
Don't piddle about.
Give a bloody shout.
Or bugger off.
If I make any airy fairy scoff.
Wow chrome dome.
You're a salad dodger and need to roam.
I just want to rip the piss,
No bit of fluff or any bliss.
For you'll take it up the poop chute,
Or be right as rain and toot.
Get good and wellied before hand,
The rumpy pumpy may be grand.
Don't get your skivvies in a bunch.
You can have your dull as dishwasher lunch.
May be rough as a badgers ass,
For an all fur coat and no knickers lass.
Such a piddly wanker.
Bugger off you banker.
No need to be mitthered by you.
Or your rubberneck crew.
What? You think your the mutts nuts?
The bees knees while sniffing butts?
The cat's whiskers or the dog's bullocks too?
Bloody hell you're quite the zoo.
I can see you arsemongers are rattled,
And this is good and cattled.
So I am bloody well done with this blog,
For I have to see a man about a dog.
I said I was bloody well done, so bugger off and go get some sun. That is right you bloody wankers and annoying bankers. We'll bloody well rip the piss some other time. I bloody well hate the bloody rhyme.
Wow! Where did that come from? Did someone try and hack my little rhyming bum? Did you understand half of what that creepy guy said? He kind of hurt the cat's head. That is those scary overseas people for you though as they try and invade the cats show. I hope he found his dog as he left a brown log. He was even crass which you know was enjoyed by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
I'll dish the dirt,
And shall not flirt.
No rumpy pumpy will come due.
Bugger off if you want such a view.
No bloody wankers like that,
Are needed to chew the fat.
Scream blue murder if you must,
That I ruined your humpty hump lust.
For I'll have your guts for garters,
You better skedaddle as I take no barters.
Might turn you seven shades of shit.
Isn't that a tickity boo fit.
Don't piddle about.
Give a bloody shout.
Or bugger off.
If I make any airy fairy scoff.
Wow chrome dome.
You're a salad dodger and need to roam.
I just want to rip the piss,
No bit of fluff or any bliss.
For you'll take it up the poop chute,
Or be right as rain and toot.
Get good and wellied before hand,
The rumpy pumpy may be grand.
Don't get your skivvies in a bunch.
You can have your dull as dishwasher lunch.
May be rough as a badgers ass,
For an all fur coat and no knickers lass.
Such a piddly wanker.
Bugger off you banker.
No need to be mitthered by you.
Or your rubberneck crew.
What? You think your the mutts nuts?
The bees knees while sniffing butts?
The cat's whiskers or the dog's bullocks too?
Bloody hell you're quite the zoo.
I can see you arsemongers are rattled,
And this is good and cattled.
So I am bloody well done with this blog,
For I have to see a man about a dog.
I said I was bloody well done, so bugger off and go get some sun. That is right you bloody wankers and annoying bankers. We'll bloody well rip the piss some other time. I bloody well hate the bloody rhyme.
Wow! Where did that come from? Did someone try and hack my little rhyming bum? Did you understand half of what that creepy guy said? He kind of hurt the cat's head. That is those scary overseas people for you though as they try and invade the cats show. I hope he found his dog as he left a brown log. He was even crass which you know was enjoyed by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
first again
ReplyDeleteits a sin
to be this good,
Deletelet me begin
Two days in a row
DeleteHere at my show
If you make it three
Will really impress me
Maybe not Hank
As he wants you to walk the plank
guts for garters...oh my...this was def a different voice for you, gritty and catty, maybe a little batty, no rump pump humpty hump here either, this gave me shivers so be a believer...scarier and scarier...
ReplyDeletehaha yeah so many voices in my head
DeleteOnce in a while they need to be fed
Sorry for the scare
As a humpty hump happens whether or not there is hair
Arsemonger is a word that hurts like if someone flipped the bird. I love your poems to an extent that this blog is a home and I guess gives me freedom to roam.
ReplyDeleteI'm just rambling here and there today, great rhymes like always at Pat's bay.
This blog is a home
DeleteYou really like my dome
Betsy is right
You need to get out more day and night haha
But fun indeed
Here at my feed
Yikes, I think I will stay out of the way
ReplyDeleteseems it is kind of a crazy-type day
except for seeing a man about a dog
but I can't see well in all of this fog.
Yeah stay far far away
DeleteFrom such a display
For when he sees a man about a dog
It means he needs to go pop out a brown log
Gold, silver and bronze
ReplyDeleteBrian had them twice over
Enjoying it he said so
No mean feat you must know!
Hank
Brian is trying to defeat your streak
DeleteHe's on a roll so you may be up the creek
Take it up the poop chute? No... shit!
ReplyDeleteSuch wit
DeleteYou're the shit
I take that as a complement :)
DeleteLOL as well you should
DeleteAs it was good
Reminds me of a quote from "A Clockwork Orange". Who knows what the hell they are saying LOL.
ReplyDelete"Ho, ho, ho! Well, if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!"
haha yeah I thought of that movie when I went through
DeleteWas a weird yet good one for a view
Alright, who was that? They did a great job whoever it was!
ReplyDeletehaha the cat channeled this and that
DeleteAnd that is what came out at my mat
Hey..hey.. some belligerence here
ReplyDeleteGet him off your back good Pat
Tell him you need no barters, no fear
Let him be Pat just save the spat
Hank
Save the spat?
DeleteWith Brian or this overseas cat
Maybe both indeed
As either are here running amock at my feed
I wonder who came up with the term "Bees knees"
ReplyDeleteor do they have legs nobody can see?
haha God only knows
DeleteBut it sure flows
What's a skivvy? Dammit, I need Anne!! lol I know what a wanker is now! I do!! lol
ReplyDeleteA skivvy was usually a servant or someone you use to do demeaning work!
DeleteLOL look at angry helping you out
DeleteFrom my weird slang shout
Good lord, I usually have to read your post thrice to understand, but this one even million times wouldnt help.
ReplyDeleteThis is like Canadian English or something?
"So I am bloody well done with this blog,
For I have to see a man about a dog"
- Anything to do with million points lost by a Dog woman? ;-)
Brown log- is this one more addition to your thesaurus for word "poop"? Overseas people I wonder who they are. Can you add a translate button for posts like this?
I did not lose a million points!!! He doesn't have the power to do that. Only the point man can do that, and the cat isn't even a man!
DeleteLOL all is slang for brit speak
DeleteSo you may be up the creek
As I like to confuse
And this guy likes to abuse hahahahaha
Pfft you lose points when the cat says you lose points each time
For you protect the stinkin mime
I am laughing so hard. Your blog is epic.
ReplyDeleteOh and Bloody wankers and annoying bankers--INDEED! :0)
LOL epic is fun to be
DeleteAs the bloody eejits visit my sea
That had quite the pace to it! You should set it to music!
ReplyDeletehahaha would need a real British or Irish loon
DeleteTo do such a tune
He kind of hurt my head as well...
ReplyDeletehaha is not swell
DeleteBut funny as hell
so much ebil in so little verses, lOL!
ReplyDeleteEbil has to come
DeleteFrom my little rhyming bum
Or the guy who has that speak
And decided he need to go take a leak
OMGoodness!! I'm nearly in tears with laughing here!
ReplyDeleteYou sound sooooo bloody ENGLISH! Hahaha
What a bloody rant! LOLOL
hahahaha I picked up many words for my book
DeleteSo I had to use it here at my nook
Poor cat. He is okay now. :D
ReplyDeleteYep okay now
DeleteAs he gives a meow
You know sometimes I dont understand you so much.... this is one of these days:(
ReplyDeletehaha when I confuse
DeleteOh dear I can't lose
Did sound like quite the English rant! At least there was no zebra in a thong - or maybe there was, I could be wrong?! :)
ReplyDeleteNope, with this english song
DeleteThere was no thong
chrome dome, poop chutes and wankers
ReplyDeletei have little love for bankers and the guys who own those sea tankers
let 'er rip and tell it like it is
on the world i myself regularly take a whiz
not that my behavior should encourage you
otherwise we could make an expletive stew
LOL oh that would be fun
DeleteAnd surely must be done
Take a whiz on and around the world too
That surely has to come true
Anglicisms abound today.
ReplyDeletehaha that they do
DeleteAlthough them called that, I never knew
A post like none before
ReplyDeleteThis was quite the rant at your shore
Some creepy guy has lots to say
It's never boring at your bay.
xoRobyn
Yeah I may confuse
DeleteAnd often abuse
But here at my shore
I never try and bore
wow...I thought Rick Tracker
ReplyDeletehad gone on the attack...er.
Just missing the helicopter
and some music on the blare.
hahaha.
haha obviously that is where I knew the words from
DeleteThat allowed me to give a hum
And a cheat rhyme
You're almost as bad as a mime haha
A mime?
DeleteNot at any time!
When was I ever that quiet?
I talk so much it's a riot!
Yeah, might as well use the info twice
as the work was lots for a cat who eats mice!
haha yeah guess you are just a cheat
DeleteSometimes with your rhyming beat
As a non talker you never are
Here at my bar
And yeah may as well use
To confuse and abuse
Will you leave those poor mimes alone!!!!!! The mime police hears all! lol
DeleteThe mime police are too damn nosey for their own good
DeleteGo away they should..haha
Wow. That creepy guy just gave me a major headache. I didn't really need that, since my head went POP the other day. It took me forever to get it screwed back on. Now it's all messed up again. I say, it's dangerous at your bay!
ReplyDeletehahaha see as I always say
DeleteHere at my bay
You might want to pop a pill
Before and after getting your rhyming thrill
I was imagining you saying this in Brit accent
ReplyDeleteno mitthered nor sniffing butts here ~
Have a good night Pat ~
My accent would be all over the place
DeleteIt would surely be a disgrace
I sure did miss your blog man! I'm glad to be back! These rhymes don't stop...
ReplyDeleteNope the rhymes will never stop
DeleteHere at my shop
that guy sure seems to like talking about poo
ReplyDeleteThat he does
DeleteWith his english buzz
Hah, one of those demons popped into you, and then it became too much, and out came a black smoke and such. Fun overseas rhyme, love the slang and sounded really fun when read aloud. But I do have to blame you, I'm getting nothing done, and season four is shortly due. lol
ReplyDeletehaha that is where you have been hiding at your den
DeleteAnd why you put away your pen
Wait until season five comes into view
That was the best season between me and you