New York Nuts! Some Must Sniff Butts!

You know for the most part the stories you hear are about as true as the psychic gas bubbles coming from my little rhyming rear. As NYers aren't that bad one bit besides the odd nitwit. But I suppose you can find those everywhere out there and so a few nut jobs get a shout out at my lair.

Nut number one was a tye dye shirt wearing woman who liked to chirp. No, she did not burp. But she sat there with her flashy wear and stared at some poor kid who just blinked his eye lid, like "What the feck are you looking at me for" and kept up her chirping encore. She was truly on something I'd say and sounded like a real bird too as she chirped away.

Nut number two was one Pat had to swear at to get to shoo. This asian guy had towels walking around the hotel giving the same cry. "Would you like a towel" he kept saying over and over giving a howl. He followed Pat from the elevator to the door even after Pat said no more and more. I think he was a nut that wanted a tip as he was no employee for they would get a grip. But when Pat told him he did not want any fecking towel he stopped his howl, gave a little round faced pout and walked off after causing Pat to shout.

Nuts number whatever, really thought they were clever. I mean people dressed up as the statue of liberty and standing there, moving creepily at their corner lair. They are worse than mimes in every way and really were quite the whacko display. Imagine that for work? Pffft would not leave me with a smirk.

The airport nuts were crazy and their eyes must have been hazy. I mean does Pat look like a guy that would give a bomb a try? Out of all the people there he was singled out to be dusted for residue when going to the NY lair. When coming back all had such an attack. But going there it was just him? I guess NS must really be scary and make things look grim.

Another nut who Pat saw when actually using a public loo which still causes ocd to shake the cat's paw in a nasty way was a guy who is quite talented at the urnial bay. He was taking a leak and texting at the same time. I guess he really had to get back to that chime. Plus he didn't even wash his hands when leaving the place, which is such a disgrace.

Does Blabber getting Pat on the wrong train count as crazy too? Bah, I'll let that one go at my zoo. Actually the cat will never let her live that one down, taking Pat to some far away town. What? Ten minutes or so is far right? It surely had to be such an awful plight.

Just the other day I was speaking of Booger at Penguin Man's bay. That is the guy from Revenge of the Nerds if you don't know and Pat also saw a wannabe at NY's show. As Blabber was driving along he had his finger up his nose. Oh and in traffic Blabber's driving might curl your toes. That is just a warning to all as everyone said it at her stall.

Then there was the other elevator girl that gave hitting on Pat a whirl. But all Pat could see was that she was in bare feet and thought it was nasty. Walking around the hotel in such a way with all the germs on the floor there for display. Eww and eww some more. So Pat dashed out the elevator door.

And the cream of the crop is what Pat saw as he was doing a plane hop. At the airport there was this strange little man who seemed to be a big Michael Jackson fan. At least that is what Pat thought of as he pulled at his glove. For his face was half white and half black. No joke on such an attack. He went along all half and half to his flight and even curl his lip and did a little spin that was quite the fright. Maybe a mixture of Elvis too? Or he really really had to go to the loo. Etiher way it was quite the display and it was in Toronto's airport bay. Maybe he was really from New York though or that crazy LA show.

And that was all the weirdos Pat saw and I guess most just had a flaw, as none were really scary what so ever. So the TV is a liar in that endeavor. Now if you go down to Deliverance town that might get the scary crown. But Pat will avoid that place as his travels continue each year and hopefully not catch sight of such banjo playing fear. So don't be afraid to trespass as all it takes is some common sense which I guess Pat has some as well as my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.


  1. Since I've been to New York a few times I fully understand exactly what you're on about when it comes to some of the wack jobs you see about the streets. I'd hate to be that guy who dresses up as the Statue of Liberty as well, what a lame job that has to be. Airport security is crazy too, I remember they had to do a real extensive search to my grandma because she was in a wheelchair despite the fact that she looked nothing like a terrorist, it's ridiculous.

    1. LOL yeah it is insane
      Trying to get through the airport lane
      But I suppose it's better to be safe then go boom
      By some nutjob and their doom

  2. look at you gawking at a few and never shake hands in the loo, just saying, and dont be saying things through the wall either, you creep--errr, put the phone down while you go to town, and hitting on you with no shoe...haha...whats a girl to least the michael impersonator didnt dance, but give him half the chance...

    1. Yeah my gawking was on high
      As I went around to spy
      Talking through the wall is nuts
      Who wants to hear you talk with things coming out butts
      That is just ewww
      And yeah I'm sure some dancing came due

  3. dang it i knew i was two but what do i have to do to be first again and not first of the worst my friend...i guess i will settle for 2 and 3 then flee...

    1. Well one day you will get there
      As I was first a few days ago at your lair
      And second and third
      So I beat you by one is my word

  4. oh one more for four at your shore just to make myself feel better, later..

    1. Just once more
      You had to give an encore..haha

  5. I have to read b/w the lines...putting my driving on blast and calling me out on getting us on the wrong train? Hmph...We were only 10 min away from where we needed to be!!! lol

    You thought the statue of liberty was nuts? Well, yesterday, Sis and I were hanging out and there was a person dressed as a tree and walking on stilts. He was just walking up and down the street. On the way back, he was eating ice cream. Like, why??? LOL

    LMAO @ the bird chirping lady. I'm still not sure if that was her... hahaha

    1. Oh, and leave the mimes alone! As the national spokesperson for mime equality, I'm disappointed that I forgot to say that. Hmph.

    2. A tree? The funny thing is, up there you don't think twice you just glance and move along with your day. LOL

      A word about driving - I think all NYers drive just fine! Just saying. They get from point A to point B. Sometimes it takes vocal work accompanied with a horn and hand signals =)

      I had to jump off the LIRR once because we took the wrong connection out to the Island from city. We did the transfer but it was an express LOL

    3. LMAO See, everyone messes up the trains sometimes... hahaha I hopped on the Babylon line instead of the Ronkonoma line. Woops... hahahaha

      And as for my driving...put us NYers in Nascar. We'll kick ass! He got nervous at me weaving through traffic and cursing in foreign languages. And to think...I was being calm for him... LOL!!!

    4. I'll come to your defense, Jax. You have to drive crazy in NYC to survive! You'll get run over if you don't! ha.

      He'll have to come to Ohio to see calm driving. lol.

    5. LOL wow a weird walking tree
      That would be a sight to see
      And I had to call out thee
      The cat will never let things go at bush number three
      So all has to be exposed here
      And the cat loves it with his little rhyming rear
      And YES that was her chirping away
      There were no scary birds on display hahaha

      You forgot the mimes
      hahaha such crimes

      I guess even the big fake eye
      Gets on the wrong train, sigh
      You'd think you'd know where to go
      Both being from NY's show
      I guess spending all that time
      Driving crazy and yelling each weird chime
      Makes directions a thing of the past
      As you drive quite fast

      LOL yeah nascar would be lucky
      And oh so ducky
      For such drivers at their sea
      And it would fill the fans with glee

      Ohio has slow drivers you say
      Like you and your one hand as you take pics will driving away?..LMAO

    6. Not slow...just calm. We don't have traffic that we have to swerve in and out of. lol.

      Yep, I'm a one handed driver.
      Good thing I don't drive a stick shift any longer! Although, that is fun, too.
      As I would zoom past you.

    7. Yeah well it is calm here too
      Especially at that other zoo
      Good thing indeed
      As then you could get caught for such speed

    8. @Jax - we did just the opposite once, we didn't make the switch at babylon - hello long ride! It's not wise to drink and train =)

      @Pat - Directions? What are those? I just look if the city is behind me, I'm headed in the right direction LOL

    9. LOL I suppose that is one way to go
      I just follow the water and never get lost at my show

  6. Dang! Missed Numero Uno just!
    Ok,now the weidos of New York
    To see go to Times Sq is a must
    Broadway, mixture of all walks
    Then the Subway a bad experience
    Smelt of hard liquor next to you
    His buddy reeking in thick woolens
    But take a walk is a danger too
    Fun when it lasted
    Just don't get busted!


    1. haha...Hank hit the snooze button a few times!

    2. Yeah we saw plenty of things
      At the NY wings
      I'm sure many at down there
      Smelt of liquor and were aware
      As they blare
      And go on and on chirping like a bird and picking their nose hair..haha

      Yeah he ruined his streak
      Here at my creek

    3. Got to move fast
      Register your interest
      Within seconds otherwise
      Others made a burst


    4. Move fast indeed
      Or you might get left behind at my feed
      But sometimes you never know
      Things could be slow

  7. That was some crazy people but you see them all the time in public places though ~ I once a guy all dressed up like vampire outfit complete with flowing cape, all black. And those still mimes, I see them in Harbour Front during festivals. Creepy but they want some money. Happy day to you Pat ~

    1. LOL yeah oh happy day
      With such weirdos on display
      But I suppose maybe we are weird to them too
      As they think they are normal and we are part of the weird show

  8. Lots of weirdos there and here
    even when you look in the mirror!!
    You never know what you will see
    if you venture from NovaScotia. Tee hee.

    1. Yeah venture out and about
      And some will make you shout
      But there are plenty here too
      As they are all around to view

  9. Walking through the hotel with her feet bare!
    She's going to catch a disease that isn't so rare.
    Seeing people dressed up is always a joy,
    but did you get to see the Naked Cowboy?
    And driving the streets of the city is always fun,
    zooming thru traffic, making pedestrians run!!

    1. The Naked Cowboy has been banned from my family. My grandmother stopped to take a picture with him last year. My grandfather found the picture and went OFF. LMAO Poor, poor nanny... hahahaha

    2. Yeah that is very true
      A disease and it is just eww
      Nope no naked cowboy came due
      Can't say I wanted him in my view
      LOL I can see you wanting to make them run
      Under the NY sun

      LOL your nanny
      Just wanted a pic with his naked fanny

  10. Hey Pat you make NY sound like a magical place. They whisked you out of all in TSA, mayn't be you but you being Canadian they have to.
    All the looney bins are packed and shipped to NY, blabber fits right in there. Every single one is funny, you should have referred towel boy to that urinal texting guy.

    1. I do fit right in, Cap! I'm as crazy and as loud as all of them. I had to teach Pat how to plow through crowds like a football player. They smelled Nova Scotian all over him. Taxis wouldn't even take us to where we wanted to go!! LOL

    2. I spent around a year in NY. I was crazy enough to fit in there too. I miss NJ/NY. Busy, entertaining and adventures never end rite? I loved pathtrains, quite an adventure ;) one of my friend by mistake once got off at Brooklyn around midnite, took a while to get her back on trains , later she moved to Texas ;)

    3. LOL well it was quite the experience for me
      And yeah much can be found and done at NY's sea
      Could spend a year there easy enough I suppose
      But all that traffic would cause me woes

      haha plowing through people has to be done
      But Pat still doesn't like it a ton
      But I suppose that is how it must be done
      To get around under the NY sun
      Of course the umbrellas are even worse
      Get stabbed with those and make one curse

      Yeah Blabber is crazy enough
      For all the NY fluff

  11. is you sure you was speaking about Booger at my place, ebil cat? Why doesn't me remembers it? Oh, it must be since me never pays attention when me hears meowing :)

    1. Yeah in one ear and out the other at your place
      As I said it at a steady pace
      Right in front of your face
      Maybe you were off in la la land or outerspace

    2. maybe you should've sent it to me in one of your fave cans like u always send your correspondence to me, cat!

    3. haha those are just for poo
      That is sad but true

    4. no wonder your never send me fragrant letters, but stinky ones...

    5. Sometimes it comes out nice and smelly
      When I put flowers in my belly

  12. LOL omg a guy that can use a urinal and text at the same time? That guy must lead a busy life. He should just go ahead and bring his lunch in there next time, kill 3 birds with one stone. Now I have an extra 2 minutes to do something with my day. The poor towel guy, at least you didn't wake up in the middle of the night with him standing in the corner of the room waiting for you to take a towel.

    1. methinks the cat would actually enjoy that last scene....

    2. LOL yeah that would be quite the thing
      Peeing, eating and giving his phone a ring
      And that would be creepy as well
      I thought of such hell
      An kept one eye open just in case
      As I slept in that NY place..haha

      Pfft again confusing me with you
      What are we going to do

  13. I also had a wierd foreign man knocking on my hotel door saying "You want towel?"

    For "the last time NO!" I would howl.

    1. LOL yeah I said feck no
      And away he finally did go

  14. texting while peeing, too?
    now that takes some talent in the loo.
    must have been urgent on both ends
    and then to not wash his hands?
    Makes me want to wash mine now
    and give a 'holy cow'! haha.

    1. LOL yeah curled my nose up good
      As well it should
      Nasty in every way
      After such a display
      Think of the germs on that phone
      Blah is my only tone

  15. i'd be going to new york in the soon future and i'd be looking out for these characters. as weird as they are, it'd still be quite an experience. hahaha.

    1. LOL oh yes it is quite fun to see
      All these weirdos that walk around with glee

  16. see a lot of strange things when you're traveling...always broadens the horizon.and you can collect material for hundreds of post..smiles

    1. LOL yep 100's of posts can come
      And many more with those strange things seen by my little rhyming bum

  17. Weirdos are abound, with leaps and bounds, you're gonna find some of these types. The towel guy would've bubbled my ire, and the airport ones truly are nuts. But I had to LOL with that guy texting, that is talent. The non-washing of hands is quite dim, reminds me of an old job I had, guy since passed away, so probably shouldn't talk bad about him at your bay, but it doesn't count when it's not in the same country right? something like that, a road trip reference I think. Anyhow, I was just entering the restroom and my old boss was finishing up and then he proceeded to just leave, never washing his hands at all. About twenty minute later he came to my desk to say good job on an account I was working on and gave me a gift certificate to a local restaurant to show his appreciation, but when he handed it to me, he extended his other hand to shake, I pause and didn't know what to do. My initial thought was ewww, no way thank. Well I thought better on that, so I just tried to grab the gift certificate and act like I didn't see the other hand, and thought all was good and dandy, but then he said "oh, I'm not worthy of your handshake now, I see" well, have to divulge some backstory, we would do that stupid we're not worthy from wayne's world thing at various times in the office, and I thought he was referring to that, but the I SEE, that was his code for I'm Pissed off. So I bit the bullet, said I didn't see his hand to shake, and shook that hand. He hopped in his office and I ran to the bathroom. Just thought I'd get that OCD all creeped out, on a weekend pout. lol

    1. LMAO ohhh I would not have touched his hand at all
      After seeing that at his stall
      Would have told him too
      As that is just ewwww
      But yeah I would have ran as well
      If I mistakenly touched the hand that is nasty as hell

  18. NYC and Pat--oh the things he saw, the things he thought. NYC is not the place for a nice guy like Pat.

    1. hahaha it sure was an experience though
      And such fun at the NY show

  19. I've always fancied visiting New York...Nut watching is a bit of a hobby for me so it seems the ideal place.

    1. Yeah you'd sure find a few
      Probably be more than two

  20. LOL.... Sounds like you saw quite a few >>> NUTS!
    OMGoodness... peeing and texting at the same time... and not washing his hands... eeeewwww indeed.
    Most places have their 'eccentrics' they all seemed to have gathered around you for some reason though. Maybe they were testing your OCD???

    1. hahahaha yeah that could be it
      Maybe they were seeing if I could have a fit
      They were fun to see either way
      And made for a fun post at my bay

  21. Someone is going to be writing a song about you soon, Pat. "I've Got the Moves Like Pat." Hmmm. Not quite as cool sounding as "I've Got the Moves Like Jagger."

    1. Write a song about me
      Oh that would be scary

  22. . . . wow. Some people really take multitasking to extremes. :P

  23. You definitely encountered some crazies there! And why didn't that guy wash his hands after using the loo? Didn't his Mama teach him that was the proper thing to do?

    1. I guess he was not taunt such a thing
      Or just forgot such rules at his wing

  24. I'm kinda partial to banjo playing :) Its so much fun to watch weirdo's. True life IS stranger than fiction, and I always enjoy the floor show.

    So, you got singled out for a security search? They wore gloves, right? LOL.


    1. It didn't go that far
      Thankfully at my bar
      Pfft the banjos are still scary
      Run away and hop a ferry

  25. Ha seems like you encountered all the New York Weirdos, 'only in America' they say. Least it looks like you had fun, i always wanted to go to New York and see the big art museums, and walk around Hell's Kitchen, probably get shot though with my luck.
    Your descriptions of the loonies was funny, you need a loony repellent, possibly in aerosol form, right in the face!

    1. LOL a loony repellent sounds like a good plan
      Of that I am a fan
      Have to get one of those one day
      When next I leave my bay

  26. There sure are lots of em wierdos in NY.

    Are you just observant, or were they really out to get you?

    1. LOL maybe it is a little of both
      As they didn't like me heading south


Post a Comment