The Eyes Have It With This Fit!

So a little while ago old one eye did a post to Pat and the cat at her show. She was so nice to him that the cat wanted to heave up a hairball and things were looking grim. But then the cat got plenty of exposure as well, so I didn't have to go through coughing hell. Since old one eye was so nice I thought I could send her some fuzzy dice, which would be infested with fleas to bite her knees. But then it hit me, let's help her see and get her an eye transplant. This way she can have two eyes to see when she goes on some very very very long rant. Then maybe it will come into her view that we need a break to go to the loo. So away we go, on with the show.

So Elsie is currently like this,
A one eye you can't miss.
I guess at least people will stop and stare,
For that horrid thing is truly rare.

But what can one do,
With an eye that belongs in a zoo,
Right between the huge pile of elephant poo,
And the port a pottie loo?

Why with technology today,
She can join the two eyed fray.
But there are only certain donors out there,
All of which were tracked down to show at my lair.

You got the crossed eyed bloke,
Who looks like he is about to choke.
Man eyes for her,
Oh that'd surely make her words slur.

The ones the spilt the sight,
Between each one take flight.
The glasses come free,
So she can look like some old bitty.

Some newborn eyes,
Would give her a younger disguise.
Too bad the wrinkles would show,
And everyone would know.

The stretchy eyes,
Could surely tell lies.
As she has to stare to the sky,
Once again with the eyes of a guy.

The plastic eyes come cheap,
And can seduce a creep.
But they can't move one bit,
So she'd be known as the staring nitwit.

She could let out her inner Hulk,
And they come in bulk.
So just incase they pop,
She can get more with a quick pit stop.

The droopy eyes will get her love,
Or maybe a quick shove.
As no one wants to put up with a whiner,
They'd leave her out behind a diner.

Tarsier eyes are also available for a price,
But she may get some lice.
As they make her face grow hair,
Then she could join the circus being oh so rare.

And finally her last option,

Is a cat eye adoption.

But sadly this one was tested before,

And now the person is blind at their shore.

For you don't mess with a cat,

And be all nice to Pat.

Or you get the stink eye,

And I make you fry.

Now wasn't that fun? I wonder which one old one eye will get done? I bet the angry eyes would come in handy now, as she could be having a cow. Such fun at my sea and surely causes me glee. But even with two eyes in her view, she'll always be a one eyed lass to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.