One Of A Kind For Your Behind!

This crap keeps finding me, no pun intended at my sea. But it seems on the drive to that other place something came in front of the cat's face. As I peered from that cage, which you know I do not think is all the rage, I saw a sign that acted like it was all divine. I will tell you what it said but for one part you will have to use your head. "The World's Only _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Museum" is what was on display. I already gave you one hint at my bay. So now let's do a few more to see if you can get the missing word at my shore.

Whether warm or cold,
It's worth more than gold.
At least at a certain point,
Otherwise may get your nose out of joint.

Requires some other stuff,
Leaves can be rather rough.
A hover may come due,
For many with ocd too.

Some boards make up the side,
They aren't very wide.
Or very clean.
Pretty much obscene.

One and all,
Can hear nature's call.
From all around,
Each and every sound.

Can save time,
With such grime.
If you are in a rush,
For you don't have to flush.

If it is cold,
I am told.
You can't shit or get off the pot,
For you get stuck to the rot.

I bet you know by now.
If not take a bow.
For you are special indeed,
But in case you are in need.

I will give you the word,
As you may find it absurd.
But I swear it is true,
This came into my view.

The World's Only Outhouse Museum!
Sure beats a coliseum.
Who wants to go to the Eiffel Tower,
Or watch some northern light shower?

When you can go to a museum dedicated to the outhouse.
I never knew it was so close.
People should come from far and wide.
To take in the outhouse museum with pride!

So is it the world's only one or has a tall tale been spun? Would you even want to boast about such a thing? How can it add any relevance to your wing? Oh this is just so very sad. But I'm sure a fun time would be had. Besides if you eat some bad bass and pass more than gas you'll have plenty of places to go and don't forget to thank my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. First
    With my burst
    Don't hate
    Just my fate
    Does it count?
    I say yes for the amount
    And Betsy this was the other about poo
    That I had to come due
    But it found me
    So had to give it a go at my sea
    Now after the first alarm
    Back to resting the stupid ass arm

    1. Congratulations Cat, you are the first one to comment today!! Now go back to sleep you need your beauty rest.

    2. I figured as much
      as I was reading and such.
      And you can be so proud
      to have that museum in your crowd!
      the world's only, too,
      sporting all kinds of outdoor loos.
      I wonder if they have a porta-john
      the kind that are at the auction lawns.

    3. Yeah with this crap
      Was up early for a lap
      And pun intended of course at my sea
      And I doubt there are port a johns that would make people flee
      Not that an out house museum would make them come
      As it's even disturbing to my rhyming bum
      And beauty rest
      Pffft with the heat and the rest better off sleeping in a birds nest haha

    4. I've seen it all, but to see someone commenting first to himself is just bizarre, cat!

    5. LOL and bizarre is new?
      Here at my zoo

    6. not really, you should write an ode to yourself.....

    7. haha that would be a fun run
      And may just have to be done

    8. oh, please, as if you'd convince me you don't already have one in your sleeve! I bet you have an anthem of your own too!

    9. Well I do have it's rhyme time
      So that part is right on your chime
      And nope one of my 30 or so posts
      Isn't an ode to the hosts

  2. As a young kid I remember visiting some elderly relatives who only had an outhouse. It was own the garden path, and of course no lighting. I was so amazed to see it was a wooden bench with a hole in it and instead of toilet paper it had a bunch of newspaper all cut up into square pieces hanging on some wire that was nailed to the wall. Luckily, I only needed to pee but... pheeeew. Never again...hahaha
    Who would want to use one as a museum piece but, it does show how the old un's had to 'rough it' back then ;)

    1. hahaha newspaper?
      Ouch that would make for quite the caper
      Would not want to use that
      Rather use leaves at my mat
      And yeah I suppose it shows they had to rough it
      Quite a bit

  3. you stole your own first
    with a burst
    oh my
    why i oughta, smile
    certainly fair at your lair
    i once lived a year with an outhouse
    dug it myself and put in the box beneath like a sheath to keep the crap pointed down, kind of a get out of town, but a museum, i wonder how many go and see um

    1. Yeah stole it from you
      And poor old Hank too
      But you still would have been second today
      And a whole year, damn that must have got cold come some winter day

  4. I love this rhyme Pat, I'd love to visit that outhouse museum haha, definitely sounds like a one of a kind place to visit to me, I'd like to check it out.

    1. LOL lot of love
      For what is above
      The outhouse museum for all to see
      Hope one day it is visited by thee haha

  5. A museum
    for a loo
    who knew
    such a thing
    but a Cat
    who eats poo
    and licks hair
    from his arse

    Okay Cat, confession time. When I was a kid, my cousin and I stole an outhouse. (yes, it can be done). We put the outhouse onto the back of a truck and then we placed the outhouse on the lawn of our church in front of a statue of St. Joseph. We then stole a tuba and put it and a captains hat on the statue of St. Joseph. We were busted by some penguins who were out for a late night stroll. Our parents thought they could keep us inside the house as punishment for the entire summer. They were wrong. We had a competition to see which one of us could make the biggest mess of our bedroom. Mine was epic and it when it began to stink I was set free for the summer. Michael got out about a week after me. Friday's fish was the secret to the smell I told him. I won!!!

    1. Naughty, Naughty, Anne! Who knew you such a bad, bad child?? LOL

    2. I know, who would think it. I act so grown up on blogger and I never get up to any kind of shenanigans so I imagine this comes as quite a shock to a lot of people.

    3. somehow, that didn't surprise me in the least! lol....I bet your own kids can't get away with anything because you did it all when you were their age! haha.

    4. I wanted to say what Petsy said :)

    5. My kids are pretty tame but my oldest nephew is made in my image. He's worse than me and Michael combined and the boy tells me everything. No matter how bad or how disgusting it is, he tells me.

    6. probably a future Hollywood star....

    7. LOL I agree with Petsy and Dez too
      Does not surprise me you stole a loo
      And wow he must be one crazy lad indeed
      But it must be interesting at least to hear at your feed

    8. He's gorgeous that's for sure and always up to no good. The ladies throw themselves at him like ripe plums. His most recent adventure is so bad I'm afraid to admit in public what he did. It's so horrible that I can't believe he had the guts to tell me. Christ, I wanted to gouge my eyes out and scrub my skin off it was so disgusting. P.S. He makes me look like an amateur.

    9. Wow that brings all sorts of gutter stuff to mind
      Even too vile for my rhyming behind?
      If it makes you look bad
      A fun time must have been had haha

    10. I refuse to see my leaders, Anne and Dezz, in anything but the brightest of lights from shining halos =PP

    11. Jesus Christ Cat, I didn't do anything vile. My nephew did. I'm too old to get up to too much of a good time.

    12. worry not, Elsie, I'm not sure about milady Annzie, but me still has the halo, at least during daylight hours /giggles/

    13. Annzie, I think I remember that gorgeous nephew of yours from a droolworthy pic you posted last year.

    14. LOL but you lived vicariously through him
      And all the things some might think are grim hahaha

  6. I know I'd like to visit an outhouse museum some day.

    1. haha well that makes two
      Who wants it to come due

  7. Just a little comment. At the tour in Europe the guide usually address it as "house of an unknown architect"...

    1. Well I suppose that is true
      As who'd want to be known for making the loo

  8. Outhouses are gross
    try not to look down
    so much extraneous material
    would make a cat drown!

    1. Yeah I don't look down
      Even for a crown
      As that just be a nasty sight
      Better off going in the night

  9. I hope that before they put them on display they used loads and loads of bleach! Even I would have a problem entering such a place. Then again, I've sat upon the golden loo. =P

    1. Elsie I'm sure you've a bum that is lovely enough to grace Trumps golden loo, whereas the Cat. Well, let's just say this museum was inspired by his arse.

    2. LOL yes I hope they cleaned them well
      As they were prob smelly as hell
      And a golden loo
      Pfft still prove you have to get when the next time comes due

    3. @ Anne, even I must say that my bum has had it's fair share of compliments - even today while shopping at the store I received a compliment on it's beauty! (so what if it was by my husband LOL)

      hmmm, my time is ticking down to get that proof...I leave for the big apple Saturday...

    4. Where you can once again sit your lovely bum upon Trumps Golden Throne!

    5. Yes you sure as heck better get the truth and proof
      Or I won't believe you sat on a loo or a roof

  10. I just need to share that when you google "The world's only outhouse museum" your blog is the first link that pops up. I think that makes you more popular than the museum!

    1. LOLnow maybe they should pay me
      A royalty fee

  11. I've never been in an outhouse

    unless you can count port-a-potties.

  12. Yikes, I never used them ~ And no to a museum, I won't even peek ~

    Enjoy the sun today Pat ~

    1. Hard to enjoy at my sea
      But will be tried by me
      And yeah not want to peek
      Can relate about shit creek haha

  13. you want us to get drunk all summer? You only want to use us or abuse us in the intoxicated condition, cat!

    1. Of course he does. He knows that no sober creature would tolerate his touch. Even the Viking woman has to get drunk before she copulates with him.

    2. But he is so naive, we all know no amount of gin can intoxicate you, Annzie, and that me never drinks....

    3. Pfft the cat has other tricks for that
      And you will learn them soon at your mat
      But why not take advantage if it works
      Has some perks

    4. especially knowing that poor me is very slutty and offers no resistance when someone wants to take advantage of moi :)

    5. Cat if you dare lay a single paw on him, I'll skin you and gut you and hang your carcass on my blog header for all the world to see!

    6. Geez aren't you a tad Horror movie happy today
      Maybe you can write Saw 60000 at your bay

    7. no, no, cat for you we're preparing HUMAN CENTIPEDE 8, SAW is a romcom for you :PPP

    8. haha pfft you can keep it no matter what
      As not liked by my rhyming butt

  14. This is really quite interesting. I really had a hard time following the point you were trying to get across but great post man, take care.

    1. ah, finally someone who think like me :) See, cat, half of the world doesn't get your posts :PP

    2. Pffft as long as I do
      That is all that matters at my zoo

  15. Is sampling allowed? or is outhouse museum is like pet zoo?
    You may have looks of a chick magnet, but looks like you are a crap magnet, how do you find these things? Or these things choose and find you?

    Whenever I visit something and hear them say world 121st tallest and America's 39th and Michigan's 9 and half blah blah, I snore loud, sometimes too loud.

    BTB, Does golden Mr.Trump gets a presence or dedication in this place?

    1. LOL a crap magnet it seems I am indeed
      Here at my feed
      I will have to move on to something else though
      To see if the poo decides to show
      And yeah I snore as well
      For can be boring as hell
      And nope no room for trump
      Or his loo or rump

  16. Cat I'm bored. I've fed the cat, the dogs, the birds, have watered the flowers, have gone to mass and have eaten lunch. It's almost 100 degrees and it's too hot to go back outside. You're the only thing happening on blogger.

    So I thought I'd ask you about something. Have you heard about the internet virus that's supposed to shut infected people off of the internet. Well it's like this. The American Press (AP) is blaming this thing on Canada. According to them the damn thing began with you guys. Yeah that's right. At first it was only 7,000 of you Canadian bastards that had the infection but it seems that you guys interacted with people from other countries and you've created a pandemic. At last count you guys had over 25,000 people passing this feckin' thing on to innocent people from other countries. They've managed to contain you, but tomorrow is D-Day and tomorrow the world will blame Canada when they can't log onto the internet. I rang up Interpol and told them I actually knew a Canadian. They're sending a guy named Ted over to the house to interview me later today. What do you want me to tell Ted Cat.

    1. Wow it seems you are very very bored indeed
      Ranting and raving at my feed
      You can tell Ted the truth
      And that you heard it from my booth
      As us Canadians seem all nice and grand
      But this is just the first step in our plot to take over the land
      You american's will be consumed by us soon
      And after that the world will bow down to this loon

    2. I've read about this today too! If someone shuts me away from the Internet he will unleash all kinds of unwanted hell, trust me!

    3. Pfft the cat will always be online
      For you can't stop a rhyming feline

    4. you can't? I could swear that recently some shampoo loving girl took you offline for a whole week, cat...

    5. Oh snap, he got you Cat. And cat you can have America, even the Hubby says you can have it. Stick it up your bum, use it to wipe your arse or use it as a giant dumpster, we don't care. Just do something with it so it stops causing problems. Christ, warn Syria that it's coming. Tell them to Duck and Cover!!

    6. LOL yes but the cat was still online
      Inbetween the sights and dine
      Even with a bad neck and such
      The cat keeps in touch

      Hmmm on second thought
      Maybe I'll let america rot
      As it sounds like quite the piss pot
      And not so hot or too hot

    7. I KNEW it was the Canadians!! First they take over my beaches and now the internet!!! Damn you, cat!!!!!

      Hey, Anne, can you avoid shutting down America for awhile - I still love my country even though it's a blasted mess right now LOL =PPP

    8. I'll keep it open until I leave Elsie, then phwoosh. I'm just kidding, I hope you all know that. It's become one of my standard comedy bits. Like Cat and the Pringle can of poo and me and the gin, that's just comedy gold.

    9. Annzie, it makes me cry for days when I just think about all the little Syrian kids and innocent people the bloodthirsty and oiltrhisty American army will slaughter when they put their ebil claws on Syria... And how sad are their people who believe it's all for a "good cause" :(((

    10. Pfft anyone who believes it is for a good cause
      Needs a huge applause
      Because they are the moron mountain king
      And lots of other words I won't fling

  17. Hey I think there's a possibility that I'm going to be publicly drawn and quartered by a fellow blogger. I'm so excited I'm about to pee myself. It seems as if I opened my mouth and what I really thought accidentally slipped out, completely fecking up someones day. Usually I'm only offensive in a calculating way, never in an accidental way. Christ, if it happens I'll sell you guys tickets to the show. Wish me luck and if you smell skin frying, bring the Ketchup!!

    1. LMAO oh that is so fun
      When such a tale is spun
      That puts you in the spotlight
      Because someone else has their panties in a bunch over your fright
      Surely let me know
      And the cat will enjoy the show
      Maybe even give his ten cents worth
      As their are many nutballs across earth

    2. What? Anne, people should know that you would never cause anyone harm on here. It's not your way...

    3. Well I did come off as a bit of a bitch on Matthews blog. Really I did sound horrible, but I didn't mean it that way. Christ, I meant to be helpful. I'm an eejit...

    4. Pfft sometimes the truth hurts I suppose
      That's the way it goes

  18. I sent you an email cat. Honestly I'm a bit worried about this shit. I've never intentionally hurt anyone on blogger. Never been deliberately malicious and I've a feeling that some axe grinding is going to take place. All it takes is saying the wrong thing to one nutter and then they tell another nutter and then that nutter writes a post about you and bingo bammo wango, you're bat shit spread on toast.

    1. we shall be there to defend you, Annzie, if it happens!

    2. Yeah all a load of crap
      With the nutters on tap
      But it will blow over
      If not we'll send the a butt sniffing rover
      And a can of poo
      Along with some other goo

  19. Replies
    1. LOL that should be the last
      Hope the poo isn't vast

  20. Think they get a lot of visitors?

    1. Well I guess elementary school kids
      Go there and lift the lids haha

  21. Hey Pat - how 'bout some photos of that!

    1. haha I have never been there
      So no photos are at my lair

  22. I knew the answer to this one!!! I'm sooo smart that I guessed it right away without having to read any of your clues ;) What do I win?? What do I win?! lol

    1. You are a cheat
      As you already knew about the outhouse treat haha

  23. My father-in-laws retirement plans included traveling the countryside and taking pictures of old-outhouses and barns. Unfortunately for him, he got recruited to change lots of diapers for my sister-in-laws two kiddos--I guess he still knee-deep in crap in any event.

    1. LOL well yeah he wanted the crap
      And now he sure has it with the diaper trap

  24. guess there is a museum for everything

    1. haha yep I guess so
      Just proven by this outhouse show

  25. hahaha, outhouse museum…I bet that place stinks…ba, dum, dum…lol Very interesting place indeed, probably not a place I'd visit, or perhaps exactly the kind of eccentric place I would be impelled to visit, who knows. If you travel around the country you'll find oddities like worlds largest donut, world's biggest pheasant farm and so forth and so forth, always something for the itinerary if you're passing through, but this one takes the cake, in, er, a different kind of way, lol Would be funny though, if they had a sign saying no public restrooms, that would be too funny.

    1. haha yeah there are so many weird sights
      One can find on days and nights
      But yeah this one is surely a cake
      As some rendition one can make


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