500 Deserves An Award. A Whole dVerse Horde!

The cat has reached 500 posts. That means my rhyming ass has had 500 boasts. Things have changed since the start but many still come to my cart. I guess I don't bore yet or you just like the look of this pet. Either way, I think on this very special day, I deserve an award. After all they float around everywhere else but mine won't make you bored. It will be dVerse and so cool it will make you curse. For it is the Uber Flabagaster Tripilating Bohlingaringding Award. I know you're saying something like "oh lord." But that is typical of my sea. And now the people of Bohlingaringding have decided to question me. I have to accept this oh so awesome award too. I mean you press a button and it can moo.

Questions for the Uber Flabagaster Tripilating Bohlingaringding Award Will Now Come Due. I'll still try not to bore you.

What is a Bohlingaringding?
Shouldn't you know you're own thing?
A elephant with purple hair?
Either way I bet you're rare.

But that is my best guess.
For Bohlingaringdings sound like a mess.
How does a Bohlingaringding change a tire?
Start a cave man fire?

Beat people with a club?
Maybe hire a bear cub?
How am I supposed to know?
Does this look like the Bohlingaringding show?

Can Bohlingaringdings fly?
Do I look like a travel guy?
But let's test the theory,
Things may get dreary.

As I chuck you from a plane,
And you land on a train.
Bohlingaringdings are very vocal, wouldn't you say?
Well judging from today,

I would agree.
You are beginning to annoy me.
You sound like a mix between a rooster and a cow.
I'll stick to just my meow.

Bohlingaringdings are afraid of forks, right?
Are you looking for a fight?
I'll send you over the moon,
While you get stuck with the fork and gouged by the spoon.

Bohlingaringdings don't like insults?
Maybe you should hideaway in bank vaults.
Then none would come due,
For the Bohlingaringding crew.

Bohlingaringdings need air?
What do I care?
Bohlingaringdings can't tell a question from a statement.
So I hope you get bent.

Bohlingaringdings can bend many ways?
It truly is the end of days.
Bohlingaringdings may sound new,
But as their legend grew.

I found they were dumber than sand,
And you know what happens to that in my land.
It gets filled up with stuff,
That I let out in the buff.

Bohlingaringdings don't like your talk?
Then the Bohlingaringdings should take a walk.
Are you still here?
You still want to award my little rhyming rear?

While I'll take your Uber Flabagaster Tripilating Bohlingaringding Award,
And wrap it around your neck like a vacuum cord.
Then hang you in a tree,
And set your Bohlingaringding self free.

Does the Bohlingaringding like that?
Now I sound like Drazin at my mat.
Bohlingaringding this, Bohlingaringding that.
Bohlingaringdings were just trying to get some free air time from the cat.

But that doesn't change,
That on my range.
500 have come due,
For all to view.

From Tarsier Man,
To the Written Mitten clan.
To all of you,
And my former bout with poo.

All are there to see,
So screw thee.
Take your Bohlingaringding award,
And shove it because I'm bored.

But Bohlingaringding is fun to say,
Maybe a book one day.
So Bohlingaringding yourself away,
For 500 has come due at my bay.

I guess the Uber Flabagaster Tripilating Bohlingaringding Award was just as crappy as the other horde. But now you know thanks to me that if a Bohlingaringding should ever greet thee, ignore them and run away for they will blab on all day. Bury them and their award in the grass just like I did with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. This was posted two seconds ago so I guess I've arrived first at your show.

    500 posts in all seriousness is a huge milestone my man and and you're more than deserving of that Uber Flabagaster Tripilating Bohlingaringding Award. The fact that you've written 500 awesome posts and that we all adore what you do and visit every single day is a true testimony of how great your blog is.

    Don't go yet, you'll be here until 1000 in two years away I bet.

    1. Sucking up on cue
      The cat likes that at his zoo
      Makes his ego rise
      And makes him seem so wise
      1000 I will get too
      In about a year and a half it will come due

  2. woohoo.. congrats on 500 posts...that's something, right... and i would certainly give you the dubringstmichzumschmunzeln award...haha...smiles... way to go..

    1. Wow that is a great award too
      I may just steal that from you haha

  3. Are you trying to kill us Cat. Seriously I think my aneurysm burst just reading that bobgogolaalgaaa word.

    500 hundred posts
    now surely
    you can boast
    and beat the
    band to the
    grand stand
    while we watch
    you play and rhyme
    your little ass

    Congratulations Cat!!

    1. LOL suck back a drink
      Then the pain will sink
      And you will be be able to spell the word
      That is really absurd haha
      And my little rhyming ass will go
      And continue on at my show
      Have to get to 1000 at my sea
      Then who know what will become of me

    2. You will live on in perpetuity Cat. You are the Eternal King of Canada after all. Just wait till you see the Royal Throne I have for you!!

    3. That sounds like a plan
      One which I am a fan
      And a royal throne
      Will it even have it's own phone? haha

  4. bohlingaringding sounds rather interesting, more action than noun, now dont frown, but perhaps they have leagues and shiny shirts that make your eyes hurt...congrats on 500 that is quite the boast, we might need to commemorate with a pat roast

    1. a pat roast
      brian could be the host
      and I'd love to join in
      and give some jabs with a grin.

    2. Yeah action
      That may put ones tongue in traction
      Or maybe their brain
      At least give it pain
      Shiny shirts would scare
      But better than them walking around bare
      A roast you say
      LOL I'd get you back for such a display

      Oh I'm sure you would
      Getting payback for the numb tongure remarks in my hood
      And everything else I do
      Like the zombie feet that comes into view

  5. Wow, Pat, I am impressed.
    you and the cat deserve a rest
    You do so well to brighten the day
    And deserve a major award today.

    1. So nice I confess
      To impress
      And yeah a rest would be nice
      But I pay the price
      And keep on going
      As the rhymes keep showing

  6. Well, here is my cheer
    to all the 500 rhyming posts here
    I will try not to moo,
    as I raise my glass to you ~

    1. Yes try very hard
      Or you may get sent to the yard
      For it can come due
      If you were to moo haha

  7. Congrats on 500 posts

    Enjoy some toast

    1. The cat would enjoy toast
      But Pat would never eat it and boast

  8. 500 rhymes
    500 posts
    You're the most.

    1. What nothing funny today
      I guess that award on display
      Must have threw you off
      I won't scoff

  9. 500 posts makes you far and away
    The best damn rhymer who is here to stay!

    1. Yeah will always be around
      As long as a rhyme is found

  10. Congrats on the 500 Uber Flabagaster Tripilating Bohlingaringding fecking rhyming posts!

    1. See you can say it with ease too
      More then Anne could when it came into view haha

    2. He did do better than me didn't he. But as he's my big Irishman I'm rather proud.

    3. Pffft he agrees with the cat too
      So he's on the fence between me and you

    4. He does it just to get my goat Cat and it always works. One day he's going to get himself into a fix that he can't Cailin his way out of.

    5. haha I'll be happy to see that day
      Would make for a fun post at your bay

  11. I can't say that word
    it makes my tongue feel absurd
    which is different than numb
    so I guess you think you won.
    500 posts is quite a feat
    You know we love you and think you're neat!

    1. LOL I can say it with ease
      Unlike some of those other big arse words from the past I used to tease
      Guess that is what happens when you make them up yourself
      Instead of some scary elf
      Yeah quite the feat indeed
      Although less than half your feed haha
      Also another funny part
      Is I'm really almost at 550 at my cart hahaha

    2. there's something really wrong with having that many drafts ready to go, cat. Something really wrong. lol.

      arm must be better?

    3. I don't have any ready. I sit down after dinner...type it out and hit publish...every day. lol.

    4. Pfft not that wrong
      Just means I can keep on rhyming strong
      And can be lazy here and there
      Not typing one up at my lair
      Pffft was better a bit
      Now back to being a pain in the ass and having a fit

      LOL well we all have our way
      I just want to be sure not to miss one at my bay
      You know ocd and all
      Here at my hall haha

  12. I will award you in a special way on this fine day
    you don't even have to visit my bay
    I think you're such a fine guy
    I'll award you with my ONE eye

    1. LOL so you just popped it out?
      Wow that must make the crowds shout
      They must run and yell
      But I think it's swell
      I'll roll it around
      And bury it so it is no longer found

    2. Here you go, just for you
      an award I felt was due
      Only for this special day
      you'll see my eye on display

    3. (for some reason it didn't update when I wrote the first comment LOL)

    4. LOL oh that is grand
      Now I have an eye and sand
      In the same post
      I can surely boast
      Poke the eye
      Make you cry
      Poo in the sand
      And trot off back to my land hahaha

    5. That was brilliant Elsie. I must admit that I miss your one eyed avi.

      Now stop picking on her Cat, she just did something special for you!!

    6. I have to pick
      Or she might shit a brick hahaha
      The one eye is the best
      Surely passes the test

    7. I have shit and I have shat
      but it was all done in honor of Pat
      But now the stolen eye is bye bye
      Do your best and try not to cry
      Go back to enjoying my ocean and sand
      for that is what I love over at my land

      @Anne - after all the ball busting I get, I could never go back to my one eyed avi!! But sometimes I miss her too LMAO

    8. Such an honor for Pat
      Pffft needs to go to the cat
      That didn't last long
      And is so wrong
      Don't hide your one eye away
      Show it each and every day
      You must go back
      For the ball busting never tends to lack haha

    9. I think we all like the one eye Elsie. On this rarest of rare times, I agree with the Cat!

    10. Anne agrees with me
      Damn, you have to set the one eye free

  13. Only the cat could make up his own award and pull it off!! lmao!! Congratulations on your 500 posts. Now, I'm off so I can try and pronounce those words somewhat correctly. Sigh...

    1. LMAO yes an award all for me
      That just causes such glee
      Beats talking to myself I suppose
      Or chewing on toes
      You pronounce those words
      Well glad they don't scare you like birds
      Or elevators or vending machines
      Damn, if I used all your fears I'd get to 1000 posts in no time at my scenes hahahahahaha

  14. oh wow. congrats, Pat.
    it might take another 4 years to reach 500 :)

  15. 500 posts ...well well....I am sooo glad I don't have to read this:
    Uber Flabagaster Tripilating Bohlingaringding Award out loud... talk about tongue tied.
    Congrats on the 500, now give yourself a shiny gold star or, better yet, give your cats some cream ;) it seems they are the inspiration that fuels this writing dream.

    1. Saying it outloud is rather hard
      Makes you sound like a drunk bard
      And yeah the cats get plenty of attention
      For they are what brings forth every mention

  16. Darn it.. you made me try to RHYME again!

    1. haha always fun to rhyme
      Should not be a crime

  17. Replies
    1. Too bad
      That makes the cat sooo sad haha

    2. Listen to me complaining how my head hurts! I'm starting to sound like old one eye! lol

    3. LMAO yeah don't do that
      Then you'll go on and on and on and on at your mat hahaha

  18. You absolutely get the award, Bohlingaringding or not.
    You are the master!

  19. Congrats on 500 and many many more :) well done :)

    1. Many more will come
      I bet from my little rhyming bum

  20. Very cool. I think some Seussian drawings are in order here, to match your rhymes.

    1. That would be grand
      But I can't draw worth crap in my land haha

  21. Wow! 500! Congrats!!! Bohlin --swedish/estonian name maybe?? Just moving in another direction in my muddled brain!

    1. haha you never know
      Could be that type of language flow
      The cat just made it up with ease
      While licking his fleas

  22. Congratulations on your 500! Yes, you do deserve that ludicrous award. But you forgot the cute little picture badge to go with it...maybe for post 1000. :)

    1. Yeah post 1000 that will be for
      Have to save something for such an encore

  23. Replies
    1. Nite sounds like a plan
      Off to bed for me as I'm a fan

  24. Much congratulations on 500 post from a long-time lurker. Hey, I'm shy.

    1. A long time lurker you say
      I'll get you over being shy at my bay haha

  25. Congrats! A true testament to dedication to craft. I've got my eye on your work. Look forward to the next 500.

    1. Got your eye on me?
      I'll have to hide the dirty stuff from thee haha


  26. 500!!!
    have a party,
    you know you should
    kick off the fireworks
    in Pats neighbourhood

    half way to one grand . . .

    500 posts - give this cat a hand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    or Paw . . .

    1. Quite the rhyming flow
      You gave at my show
      And yeah go with the paw
      But watch for the claw

  27. Bohlingaringding jacks
    wearing backpacks
    stopped by to say
    it's Pat's big day
    for 500 posts
    with feline hosts.
    I lost my train of thought
    'cause my focus was caught
    wandering away
    from what I could say
    so I'll close this out
    with applause and a shout,
    wishing you and your cats
    my great big congrats.

    (guess my rhyming is poo
    but the message comes through)

    1. Hey it works rather well
      And was quite swell
      Thanks for the congrats
      Now the cats will go chase rats haha

  28. Replies
    1. Yep half way there
      1000 is the goal at my lair

  29. "A elephant with purple hair?" ... I would LOVE to see that.

    "... afriad of forks, right?" ... I think you mean "afraid." :)

    I love this part; you gave me big smiles here:
    "I found they were dumber than sand,
    And you know what happens to that in my land.
    It gets filled up with stuff,
    That I let out in the buff."

    1. Yeah a typo came due
      As away the rhyme flew
      But it has been nixed
      Meaning all fixed
      Glad it was fun
      I do that often under my sun

  30. I have like a quarter of your posts. I still think Tarsier man is the greatest thing you've gifted us with so far.

    That guy is awesome.

    1. Tarsier Man is the best?
      I'm sure that will give him such zest

  31. congrats on 500. Two hundred more than that movie. Ain't that groovy. a ton of funny lines throughout, which is typical for the cat's shout, and yeah, it is a pretty cool word, has quite the internal rhyme rolling.

    1. Yeah that is true
      The movie was good too
      Internal rhyme is fun
      Even if it can confuse a ton

  32. When I came across the cat I couldn't image how you were keeping this up but 500, wow, you do deserve an award and this one is really fitting. :)Even if you bury it in the grass, you still deserve a congrats. Cheers to you, Pat!

    1. Yeah it just flows out
      And so I give it a shout
      Until such a time it will not
      Then I may hire a robot

  33. So 500 posts have come and gone?
    Quite a feat for a cat to brag on.

    And they gave you the Bohlingaringding?
    That's certainly good cause to sing...

    But you seem quite unhappy,
    rather sad and unsappy....

    that your work has been given
    a great big blue ribbon!

    Take caution, my friendly cat,
    that your kindly master Pat

    might quickly turn yuppy
    and soon desire a puppy!

    So cheer up and party a bit,
    If that won't work then fake it.

    Catnip helps.....

  34. LOL I think I can fake
    Until I catch a break
    Then all bets are off
    Pat can scoff
    And get a mutt
    I'll watch it sniff his butt
    Cat nip is surely the way to go
    Many a things can be solved when that starts to show

  35. You are a modern day Dr. Seuss...

    1. That is grand
      If only I got paid as much in my land haha

  36. Congrats on hitting the half-millenium mark.

    As a co-worker of mine is fond of saying about me:

    "Pat, you are the man."

    1. Hmph what about the cat?
      Just gushing over Pat haha


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