Do It Yourself! You Damn Dirty Elf!

This is excluding pets, kids, family and such as for those you would usually do much. This is targeting those lazy arse holes who think they have such lofty goals that you should do all their work, as they sit there and smirk. Do your own damn job or work, you stinking jerk. I let some have it too in a more nice way as I waved them away on cue. But still what do they expect from their own damn neglect?

Oh look at me look at me,
I did everything but click complete at my sea.
Instead I'll waste my time,
Writing out such a chime,

That makes you do it all over once more.
This dumb person needs to be shown the door.
Oh do the same thing you did last year,
On such and such we want to hear.

Same old song and dance,
That they continue to prance.
But what happens once more?
Pfft all they do is ignore.

Months later, did I get that?
Dumb arse needs to be squashed flat.
Seven minutes to go,
Here comes work, oh no!

You do it, not me.
I want to flee.
Doesn't matter if it is seven minutes or hours,
You can't go and smell the flowers,

Until it is done.
So save everyone,
And sit your fat arse down.
You surely take the whiner crown.

Let's waste time,
Because it is such a crime.
If one puts three spaces instead of two
Between the postal code that comes due.

Who is that dumb?
If you are go suck your thumb.
Leave me the hell alone,
Or beat yourself with the phone.

Hmm maybe you already did,
And have nothing under your lid.
With your big fancy title,
I guess it makes you idle.

So you can twiddle your thumb,
Scratch your bum.
Whine about everything in sight,
Because doing ones own work is such a plight.

Pffft so so so moronic indeed.
Those poor fat arses in need.
They can't click a button on their own.
Gasp! The computer might make a scary groan.

Completely absurd,
Will even steal Blabber's word.
Suck it up buttercup.
Don't act like some butt sniff pup.

If it is your own damn work, do it!
Cease your whining fit.
Or pushing it off on another,
Because oh no it might smother.

Your stupid fat rump.
While you sit like a lump.
Thinking you're oh so great.
When that is hardly ever your fate.

So there was my rant on that which has been festering with the cat. Any direct things will not be said for that could bring dread. So a little vague I will be here at my sea, as some can pound sand with each hand. Or go piss up a rope for they have no hope. The facts are they are better off mowing grass than annoying my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer


  1. I understand the exact kind of people you're talking about Pat, in fact, mindset aside I could be classed as one of those kinds of people and it eats me up. Great rhymes and rant, I love it at the bay when Pat rants at the annoying ants.

    1. I rant away
      Could do it every day
      And yeah those people are a pain
      But around they seem to rain

  2. So many people seem to find ways
    to have others do their work
    when they sit and just smirk
    and wait for paid holidays!

    (Catching up here, Pat,
    with you & the cat!)

    1. Yeah that is just what they do
      Here at a certain zoo
      And all caught up you are
      At my bar

  3. so you got a little angst at work yesterday eh? ha, there will always be those who thumb their nose and make others take up the slack while they grow their back side wide twiddling their thumbs on their bums...and they never seem to get caught, which sucks and makes on want to scream fux

    1. Yeah that is very true
      Makes me want to scream that too
      As they always get away with it
      Causing quite the fit
      And thumbs on bums
      Hmmm hope they wash before playing with their gums

  4. Replies
    1. haha those whiners are quite the pain
      I wonder where they are found at some lane haha

  5. I think I can imagine what this is about...

  6. I have a few lazies at work. Had one woman say she couldn't lift a few bags of mulch yet she works in an outside garden area. Get a new position or stop complaining. She eventually lifted the mulch.

    1. LMAO well there you go
      Made her mulch grow
      As she had to do her job with ease
      Or go off and pick fleas

  7. You know how they say cream rises to the top. That's rarely true in the workplace. The professional slackers make their way to the top and spend their time at pubs and golf courses having others do the real work. This system is self-perpetuating because it's the slackers that do the promoting and they promote people like themselves.

    So people like you who are perfectionists and care about the quality of your work can get stepped on by the slackers. Your co-workers will take advantage of you, but somehow I can't picture the Cat tolerating that shite for long.

    1. Yeah that is very true
      Wants one gets in the top view
      There comes the rest
      Because they suck hole around with their slacker zest
      And up they go
      At most every work show
      Can see it with ease everywhere
      As they are good at pretending they are rare
      I tolerate to get the pay
      That is all that matters at the end of the day
      To be able to live and feed the cats too
      Plus buy tp for the loo haha

    2. Nobody thought I could walk away from the rat race and still be happy. They were so wrong. I haven't missed it once. It went beyond money for me when I was working. It was also about sense of self. I learned that I'd put my entire identity into my career and that was a huge mistake. Thank God I got over that shite.

    3. I wish to high heaven I could walk away
      But I'd be out on my arse and not here to play
      As the bills surely pile up
      And I don't want to go shake a tin cup
      I could walk away though and be just fine
      That would surely suit this feline

  8. So she is lazy and whines and has a big butt?
    Maybe you could shoot an elastic at her gut.
    Lay a whoopie cushion on her chair
    Shoot a spit ball in her hair.
    Put salt in her coffee cup
    and Ex Lax in her chocolate drops.
    It won't make her less fatter
    but might make you feel better!

    1. LOL look at you being quite the mischief maker
      The Ex Lax surely isn't the deal breaker
      I may have to give that a go one of these days
      I did it before in not so many ways
      To a dumb drunk
      In university who always was in my way causing a funk hahaha

    2. haha...I guess my break is inspiring me
      to be a bad little girlie.

    3. Wonder what would happen if i took a break
      People would prob want to drown me in a lake

  9. This is one thing I don't miss about work
    having to sit beside some useless jerk!
    While I bust my cute little ass
    they do nothing but talk sass
    Then they brown nose the boss
    firing them would not be a loss!
    Yet it will never come due
    cause the boss has no clue
    so I'm happy at my shore
    even when it's a bore.

    1. Me, too! Me, too!
      SO do not miss that about work.
      I'm very happy to be the boss now...and only employee. ha.

    2. All three of us are saying the same thing. I think we must be right.

    3. well, being three wise, mature women, I'm sure of it! :)

    4. Well if it is so damn easy let me know
      I would so like to quit my work show
      And alliance cronies, one eyed people or zoo runners too
      Doesn't matter as I know I'd agree with you
      Sadly stuck with the 9 to 5
      At this rate I, or at least my back, won't get out alive hahaha

    5. But when we were your age, we did the same
      and worked with the lazies and the insane.

    6. I suppose that is true
      So i have to be old before i can stay home like you haha

  10. i echoe jesus when i say this..that all that wanna lead should serve.. think that's the only way to have people really work for you.. just think of king david who, while he was hiding in the desert, he led such an army of outcasts and strange people but they loved him so much that they would do everything for him, even the most stupid things..that's how it should be...sorry for talking so much...will shut up now...smiles

    1. Talk as much as you like
      And interesting idea hike
      I think that should be the case too
      Gives them a whole new respect coming due

  11. I used to work with people who were lazy
    Maybe they were just crazy
    Then they sit back and cry
    When things don't get done on time.

    I guess things everywhere are the same
    No matter where you live
    There are people
    Who just like to play games.

    1. Yep seems they are all over
      Rather take a butt sniffing rover
      At least they don't try to be a fake
      And would surely partake
      Maybe not be able to help much
      But not be slack ass and such
      Which comes due all the time
      So brought forth this rhyme

  12. yeah, I had people like this all around me at my last job. Really does get on one's nerves, absurd is quite the word for these bags of t…. But I don't get the disdain for the elf, as they just want to be free, to live life in the tree, where humans cannot see, or if you go by the Norse tradition, as I do, they come in different shades light and dark, to which the latter would scare, and you'd never want to stir their bark. Definitely a piece where some steam was let loose, freeing the tension at one's caboose lol

    1. haha...yeah, Pat...why pick on the poor elves? You could have gone with hate them almost as much as mimes! lol....

    2. Yeah some steam had to be let loose
      From that big lazy arse caboose
      As I let it flow
      When I wrote it at my show
      Get on my nerves which are shot
      And I'll let them have it a whole lot hahaha
      LOL not much rhymes with self
      So I have to pick on the elf

  13. I know what you say Pat; I worked in office for years;but sometimes was suck; why you dont say them Ppfftttttttt!lol
    Hope today was better!

    1. Yeah, Pat...just say Pftttt! lol....

    2. LOL pffft and I might spit on them though
      That might get me fired from the work show hahaha

  14. Replies
    1. Guess they do it for all
      Need to lock them in a bathroom stall

  15. Since I'm self employed now, I better not let me own arse get lazy!!

    Got to keep that bacon coming in the door. :)


    1. Yeah have to stay in the game
      And not find yourself to blame

  16. So frustrating when people don't do their work.

    1. That is it
      Making me hate the employment biz

  17. this reminds me of where I many lazies lol

    1. Yep seems they are all over the place
      Need a could whack upside the face

  18. Oh, I know what you mean, until
    they lose their jobs, they won't appreciate the workload ~

    Then of course, they whine harder and louder now ~

    I wish you a happy good - night ~

    1. Sadly it seems to take forever in a day
      For them to get fired at their work bay
      Most don't even get caught
      Annoying by a whole lot

  19. Whew...that was a rant and a half, wasn't it....and not half arsed or fat arsed at all ...simply all about a lazy arse.... LOL

    1. Yep the lazy arses brought a rant
      As they sit there like a plant

  20. Nice rant Pat. That type of folk usually gets promoted at the places I have worked.

  21. Your boss (past or present) must really suck hard if he pissed you off this much.
    I ask, if you see him again, would you like to make him use that damn crutch?

    1. Oh i had a crappy one in the past
      But i got out of there rather fast
      No crutch
      Had to be used to reach out and touch


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