I Confess I Told Them To Shove Their Email Address!

So Pat was out and about when he should have been buying us trout. But I guess since Miss Priss is so dainty at our sea, I will have to suffer because of she. Anyway, he went to buy some mundane thing that isn't worth giving a ring. The cashier was all nice and cheery to the extent it was eerie. It was like a cheery Flappy and just as yappy.

Are you on our mailing list?
No, that I must have missed.
You can sign up now.
No, I'll get by somehow.

But you get perks.
No, to the works.
But there is a free gift.
No, that's too much to lift.

You could get 20% off.
No, go dunk your head in a horse trough.
You really must sign up.
No, but I'd like to know what's in that coffee cup.

You will love it.
No, you damn nitwit.
It's to die for.
I can't believe you said such an encore.

You can save lots of money.
No, your painted on eyebrows look funny.
It will only take a minute or two.
How many damn times do I have to say no to you?

You can take the form and come back.
No, stop causing me flack.
Isn't email just so easy to use.
Hmmm I suppose for you it could confuse.

That will be such and such a price.
Watch, you'll have to say that twice.
Do you have a dime?
No, is that a crime?

It would make it easier to count.
Wow, you act like it is a high amount.
You could sign up while I get your change.
No, you are truly out on the range.

One of these and this one needs two.
Do you want me to wait while you take off your shoe?
And this should be the right.
Don't care after such a plight.

One, two and three makes it.
Wow, and you act like you're such a hit.
Are you sure you won't sign up and show some love?
Take your list and give it a shove.

Besides Pat's last line the rest of his was embelished by the feline, as I had to make them rhyme. But hers was spot on, including the dime. She acted like that sign up list for the damn store was the end all and be all forever more. God knows what would have happened if she had to use the debit machine. Probably would have been a whole other scene. Pat tried his best not to give sass and he did last longer than I would have with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. I hate people who send us this spam nonsense, this post is great Pat even though it directs emailing hate. Awesome rhymes as usual, this verse is my favourite by far:

    "You could get 20% off.
    No, go dunk your head in a horse trough.
    You really must sign up.
    No, but I'd like to know what's in that coffee cup."

    Incredible verse as usual Pat, this is why I go to your bay every day.

    1. Glad it was grand
      Here in my land
      Unlike the email nut
      Who must have sniffed one too many a butt

  2. oh my. she never gave up huh.
    i get that at the local Watson's pharmacy.

  3. Shows how important mass marketing is these days. Where the email is like gold, for the company feels that simply by getting your email they will sell more to you by an incessant amount of spam sent your way, and oh yeah, they reserve the right to sell your email to those they feel will send you things you will "enjoy" which of course means and all your email address will be sent, and the high pressure type thing, is often seen, this person went a little overboard, would've caused similar reactions in me, probably should've went for the trout lol Really nice illustration of such a scene

    1. Yeah they just want to spam
      Giving ones email a traffic jam
      I have a bunch that are fake
      But still would rather not partake
      So they can shove it near and far
      I won't be joining no email bar

  4. What a twit
    to flap
    at you
    when clearly
    you'd just
    said no.

    Persist she
    like a
    horrid gnat
    only to be
    swatted by
    Pat and
    the Cat.

    It's gotten to the point that society doesn't allow us to have personal boundaries. No niceties are observed, just push, push, push, gimme, gimme, gimme. And it's information they want, personal information to feed into the machine so some more people can push at you while you're at home trying to relax. I don't blame you for telling her to shove it Cat. I'd have been ruder sooner that you!

    1. Yeah that is all it is
      With each and every biz
      Push and gimme
      As they do a little shimme
      hahaha ruder than me
      That would be a sight to see

    2. Have you ever had to deal with an irate Irish person. It's not pretty. That said, you haven't been to my blog today you fecker!

    3. haha nope never have had to deal with such
      And the cat will be there to give it a finishing touch

    4. Yep, you were there. My blog is now infested with fleas!

    5. They are fun on your knees
      And will bite whether or not you please

  5. how many damn times do i hav to say no to you? well it seems for and eternity, as that is how long it takes to sift those that dont hit the filter bit....bots rot, and how many ways can they try to sell you today gathering your likes from your clicks, big brotherish...no. no. no....leave my email alone. smiles.

    1. Yeah seems forever
      They sure aren't clever
      Pretty much like bots
      And goes on and on lots
      Big brotherish good point
      That is surely not welcome at my joint

  6. I learned a great lesson from the news a few months ago - you can use your area code with the famous Jenny song and receive fabulous discounts because so many people do it. Also, lots of people use a certain addy on Pennsylvania Ave and their home town and I won't give the email addy out....that's my little secret LOL I got that one from my teenage son =P

    1. hahaha that sounds like it would work
      And give all a perk
      I just make up street names
      As they play their games
      Not finding me
      Bush number five or number three

    2. I would try to out rhyme thee
      at bush number three
      but I must leave my bay
      for a little bit today
      and it'd take far to long
      to sing your same song
      but I admit you did damn good
      over at my little hood.

    3. hahaha what?
      You can't keep up with my rhyming butt?
      Oh the shame
      I win again at the comment game
      And damn good
      Wow, a compliment again in my hood haha

    4. So, he commented on your post and not mine. Hmmmm. I've bought his books, written reviews and made him a God and this is the thanks I get. OOOOOh Cat, you in some deep, deep shite!

    5. haha blame blogger not me
      You never show up in the blog roll at my sea
      Old one eye does
      I cause blogger likes her ranting buzz

    6. Hey Cat!!!! Wake up!!!!!

      Go check out Elsie's page. I gave you ten kinds of hell over there hahahaha.

    7. hahaha trap a troll
      Could be a lucrative goal

  7. UGH, I hate people like that. Good for you Patt Hatt!!

  8. One time it was the Credit cards people
    It was still restrictive & manageable
    Confined to cardholders a few got burnt
    But the 'Net opened a whole new horizon
    Put in a finality when it next appeared
    Report it as spam and it just disappeared


    1. Yeah the net
      Caused many a fret
      The spam works good
      As well it should
      But still a pain
      As they let them come like rain

  9. I hate the steps people take
    to get email address for whatever sake
    sometimes it makes me very weary
    to have to remain perpetually cheery
    when they continue to demand
    I place my email into their hand!

    1. Yeah cheery only lasts so long
      When they sing their song
      Then I let them have it
      With their email gimme fit

  10. Wow! We never get pestered like that here.
    Next time just start crying, lets see how that works out.

    1. hahaha then she'd prob cry too
      That would be awful watching her boo hoo

  11. Yeah, that makes me nuts, too. Um, no, I don't want your spam. Thank you very much.

  12. It drives me crazy. I wish I would have created a fake email account years ago when I first made the mistake of always giving out my email address. This was hilarious . Incredible prose. I am a new follower and delighted to be here.

    1. Glad it's a delight
      And not a fright
      Yeah I have tons of fake emails
      But this nut was off the rails
      So wasn't going to get a one
      With her crazy email run

  13. I get it, man. It's hard to be nice when they just won't stop with that "sign up" stuff!

    1. Yeah eventually it's time to get rough
      And tell them to shove their sign up stuff

  14. You poor honey
    that is just too funny!
    she had to be related to Flappy!
    Just a little too perky and yappy
    not even realizing she is irritating and sappy!
    So what did she do
    when 'shove it' came out of you?

    1. hahaha looked at me
      Like no one had said that to she
      And then I just walked out
      Leaving her making a face like a dead trout

  15. Cashiers can be so pushy. Self-checkout (when the store actually has it . . .) is much easier in that you're only dealing with a machine.

    1. Unless the machine decides not to work
      Then it can be a jerk

  16. I work at a store where we have a card that only keeps tracks of receipts. It's like trying to give out garbage.

  17. I get so wrapped up in these conversations wanting to be polite, but it gets so tiresome when they won't let you be. I guess not everything can be a compromise, right? Sometimes, no, is all there is to say :)

    1. Yep sometimes that is all one can say
      If they want to get far far away

  18. You should have just filled it out with false information and left. You get to leave sooner and not talk, she doesn't know that you lied.

    1. True I could have done that
      But then there would be no post for the cat haha


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