If I Had To Operate It Would Be A Bad Fate!

So Pat was sitting waiting for his car. For an oil change was needed and thankfully that was all at our bar. But he sat and listened to the goobly gook of the mechanic and some rather rude mook. Back and forth they went with the mook having to vent. They used terms Pat never knew. I guess the cat will have to repeat it for all of you.

The slider thing is off.
The air cooler thing has a cough.
The storing back latch.
Has a curved hook hatch.

The wire to the sound,
Is no longer found.
It was the transwhack a mole.
Must have been that extra coal.

I knew I shouldn't have used that.
But I wanted to use my engineer hat.
The noise making steering wheel.
Seems to have a raw deal.

It click and clacks from side to side.
Causing for a bumpy ride.
That trumpet in the middle,
Should be replaced by a fiddle.

Wouldn't it be fun to honk a fiddle tune?
All could dance under the moon.
Don't confuse it with a banjo,
Or in the woods all would go.

To do what I don't want to know.
That thingy magiggy started to glow.
I think it's the wheel well.
A screw is causing all of this Hell.

I got screwed and didn't even know it.
You have to like the cat's wit.
Even if the Jack Frost killer.
Is off in some movie thriller.

The brake glades leak.
Should a doctor I seek?
Speaking of that,
Someone hid my floor mat.

Shouldn't it stay with Fred Flintstone wheels?
No wonder that place had such good deals.
They had my rearview looker thing inside out.
It always made me twist and shout.

The going hole thing for the key,
Really confuses me.
My screwdriver fits in.
Why can't I ever win?

If only head beams had sun glasses.
My ride would appeal to the masses.
Could save the eyes of many too.
Those highlights could hurt your view.

Speaking of which,
My cars baldness much itch.
A good head of hair,
Would make it that much more rare.

It could go on the goer block.
That would make people gawk.
Some motor water would be nice.
Fill it up twice.

Add some swishy fluid too.
And it will look brand new.
Give the cracks some duct tape and super glue.
I guaruntee it will hold until the next time I see you.

And so it went that after the mook had his little vent. He drove his duct taped car away and it was quite the awful display. Surprised it is even allowed on the road. Probably be faster to hop a toad. Oh and the cat embleshed a bit as Pat isn't such a nitwit. He can at least work the key hole. That is a high goal. Don't you think? At least the car isn't pink. Fun to sit and watch some sass. Makes for quite the tale from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Trips to mechanics are never any fun for sure Pat, they're always looking to push you for more things, thank goodness you just had the one issue for sure, great rhymes dude, the cat should make that mook his food.

    1. haha yeah the feline
      Made out just fine
      No duct tape on me
      Or any other crap to see

  2. There are some good ones
    But also are some bad ones
    Create a lasting relationship
    With a good one to keep
    He'll not give a slip
    If one goes to a new one
    Opportunity for them to have fun
    Your dough is what they want
    It's just a shame
    For no parts are changed
    But the car owner feels the pinch


    1. Yeah some are full of crap
      And try to flap
      About this and that
      To get extra money from your mat
      Pretty sad indeed
      As your wallet they try to bleed

  3. Sounds like you could sell that car as an antique or an art installation!

    1. Thankfully not my car
      So they can do that at their bar

  4. my car is abt the same.
    i must say i've learnt many things about cars from the countless times it has broken down on me.

    1. haha yeah I have to agree
      Much was learned by me
      With my old crap one
      It broke a ton

  5. ha. he probably appreciated pat sitting there like that as he put on his show just so you know...and hey if it takes duct tape to work so be it, i have driven a many piles of shh...its not so bad, still rolls so dont get mad.....

    1. haha yeah he sure put on a show
      Yapping about his thing that wouldn't go
      When a car becomes a thing
      It's time to give it the death ring

  6. Did they bring you your dirty air filter and try to sell you a new one for the low, low price of $39.99? That is always one of their finer tricks.

    1. haha no they never tried that
      But I did get that once a while back at my mat

  7. Look at you taking care of your car!! lmao I hate doing all that stuff :( :(

    Talking about the Flinstones...the new trainee has offically been nick named Kazoo like the Flinstones. That made me giggle. lol!!

    1. hahaha is the new trainee great?
      For you know that was the Kazoo's fate
      Yeah hate it indeed
      Still haven't done the recall at my feed haha

  8. My hubby takes care of these things ~ I hate getting screwd but I am clueless and will just call the CAA if I am in trouble on the road ~

    1. Better to call then stay on the road
      As some big truck could come along and crush your car like a toad

  9. So you were being a gawker?
    Next you'll get a mohawker!
    Are you trying to be like my twin
    I guess triplets wouldn't be a sin.

    1. hahaha yeah I gawked away
      There at the car bay
      Put that was just a first
      We don't need any triplet burst

    2. Remember last year you wanted to drive your car into a lake
      it was old and crummy and it you did hate!
      At least you're only doing maintenance now
      if you have big repairs the bill makes you say Holy Cow!

    3. Yeah that is very true
      In the lake that thing should have flew
      The normal ones I don't mind
      But $4000 bills hurt my behind haha

  10. So did ovehearing this discussion give you more or less confidence in either the mechanic or your car? :)

    1. The car was crap
      Just a money trap
      But yeah a little less in him
      At least he knew the fate was grim

  11. LOL! This is so timely for me since I took my van to the shop yesterday.

    1. haha damn that cat is good
      All psychic once more in his hood

  12. This is more than timely for me as I'm still trying to figure out the name of the thingy where my car lights fell off from the impact of the other car.

    1. haha yeah as I read you current post
      I knew it was timely of this host

  13. I'm a gearhead with 3 cars so I understand all of that gobbledy gook. I always do my own work but if I get a free coupon and take one of my cars in, I always like to pretend like I don't know anything to see if they try to screw me over. If try it, I school them. Last time I did so, the manager was watching and offered me a free oil change in embarrassment.

    1. hahahaha oh that would be so fun to do
      Get them when they try to screw you

  14. I used to work in an auto repair shop and heard people describe what was wrong in the funniest ways! One of my favorites:

    Them: "My engine killed."

    Me: "Your engine killed who?"

    Them: "It's killed."

    Me: "It was murdered?"

    Them: "It's dead."

    Me: "It won't start?"

    Them: "That's what I said."

    I know, I'm mean...

    1. LOL well that is funny as hell
      And they are the ones who couldn't describe it swell
      Engines can kill
      That must cost the owner a hefty bill

  15. I'm not much better, I'm not a car guy. Then again, I don't even have a car of my own. ._.

    1. That must be a pain
      To take the bus or hitch a ride down every lane

  16. I hate it when I hear strange noises,
    But the mechanic just rejoices
    And sees dollar bills flowing
    Without even the problem knowing.

    Have a good day
    Kwwp trouble away.

    1. Yeah the damn noises suck
      Then they take every buck
      And looks like the e
      Was just missed by thee haha

  17. JUst say like DWEI Im not a car girl lol
    DWei maybe we are more similar That we think LOL
    I love walk really!

    1. Walking is cheaper and better for you
      But it is a pain to carry crap too

  18. When I have to take a car in for a weekly trim,

    I will leave the whiskey full to the brim!

    1. haha might not get the correct part
      But I'm sure they'll take the whiskey to heart

  19. Duct tape to hold my car together.... now why didn't I ever think of that, maybe cause I don't have the brainy brain of a knowledgeable cat...:)

    1. haha it isn't so bad
      Not many can keep up with my pad
      For this rhyming cat
      Is surely where it's at

  20. I need a oil change soon

    The last guys who did it were loons

    1. Thankfully I found one that isn't such
      At least not too much

  21. Hey, duct tapes fixes everything!

  22. Every time I take my car in for an oil change, it ends up a huge bill for so many other things. I give up, I'll take it in when its dead on the road, and even duct tape won't revive it.

    So Pat, you won a book mark from commenting on Justine Dells book tour at my blog the other day. Sorry, I've been out sick and haven't gotten around to commenting and such lately. I was sending her your e-mail from your profile, but I've never figured out how to get the pop server loaded so I can't see it. Please send Justine your email so she can send you the comment prize.

    Thanks for stopping by and showing your support to my guest blogger :)


    1. hahaha well I suppose that is one way
      To go about avoiding a big bill at your bay
      And will send away

  23. smiles...you could ask steve e. to do some fiddling...

  24. haaha, quite the unexpected diversion into a language immersion therapy of a most peculiar kind. Yeah, cars like that shouldn't be out, for the roads aren't all flat. Hate going to the car shop, for some of them will tell you this or that, when you know all you need is a simple thing, but on they try to sale you the moon, oftentimes getting quite rude, so glad they only created a language for food, not trying to get you for more than the oil due

    1. Yeah they didn't screw mo over this time
      Not much for such a crime
      Like some others I've seen
      Who can get rather mean
      I guess though
      If it can go
      On the road they will be
      When they should be set free


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