Not The First But Certainly A Burst!

First time for this, first time for that. Many have come for Pat and the cat. A first time for everything gets a chime and sometimes it is a crime. But dVerse wants the cat to drone on about a first. I guess I can quench their thirst. Oh how the mind goes to the gutter. Never fear, the cat won't make you stutter. He is snip snip after all here at his hall.

So a first you say?
I can't pick one my way.
Have to go on and on,
As usual at my lawn.

First time I had to mow,
Can't believe I wanted to give that a go.
Stupid ass grass,
The yard was one large, hill, dip and whatever else friggin mass.

Locked myself in the fridge too.
Thought I was slick with that coming due.
But the door closed behind.
The cold is so unkind.

First bubble went pop,
Ran at it non stop.
Then got soap in my eyes,
That was unwise.

First blog post by me,
Not something to see.
We'll skip that,
And pretend it never happened at my mat.

First time I felt old,
When crap took hold,
That is not a thrill,
Soon have to pop a pill.

Fell down the stairs,
To a lot of glares.
But it was okay,
As my rump bounced the whole way.

First time Lassie was given a call,
And the guy stuck his umm wick through the wall.
Or there was a yippee kay yay,
Uttered on screen at my bay.

The Neutron Dance and a cigarrette truck.
First time I uttered fuck.
Got in trouble for that,
Doesn't matter so much now at my mat.

When "Who you gonna call,"
Became a phrase with no other answer again at my hall.
First thing that pops in,
Is always those busting ghosts of sin.

First window I broke,
The ball gave it a could poke.
How'd I know it could bounce so much,
I just gave it a little touch.

Tangle with barb wire,
Ended kind of dire.
Third eye on back my leg now,
It's watching you somehow.

First time the cat got off a plane.
Should have took a train,
Was not happy,
I was rather yappy.

Hiding under the blanket in my cage,
Expressing my rage.
But all comes to pass,
From the windows to the grass.

For at every turn,
First will always burn.
Then we simply learn,
The bad is gone, hopefully, and the good will still churn.

There we go, lots of firsts that flow. Whatever popped into my head is what I said. You knew a movie reference or ten would show up at my den. Had to stop myself or we would be here forever at my shelf. But at least some firsts came to pass. Some from Pat and some from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. there's a first time for everything. my first blog...hmm, i cringe when i see it now. yikes!

    1. Yeah I think all are that way
      Cringing when they see their first display

  2. When I first lost my virginity,
    there was little dignity!

    1. What's lost can't
      be found
      when your
      down on
      the ground.

      With your
      bum in the
      air and
      your arm
      on her hair.

      So she
      gave a great
      her voice
      it rang

      Brought her
      mum on the
      run to
      the back of
      the shed.

      So standing
      up whilst
      falling down
      the deed
      was done
      but time
      to run!!

      I hope you got around to eat sooner than Tiernan did. He was 21 before he lost his and it didn't go half as well as this!

    2. Feck! that should say got around to it...

    3. LOL I don't think much dignity is found
      For that first time from man to hound
      And Anne sure knows a lot about it
      I don't think I want to know one bit hahaha
      How does go around it and got around to eat
      Even equal the same beat?
      Were you hungry as your wrote that?
      I can send a nice juicy rat

    4. Nicely said Anne, in fact very well said cailin!

    5. Sucking up to Anne
      The cat isn't a fan

    6. Why thank you Fran-it was Pam Anderson wasn't it!!

      Cat, don't even think about messing with the big Irishman. That's my kinsman and it could prove fatal to your health!

    7. Pfft kinsmen or not
      He is on my side a lot
      So the cat will leave him be
      But still has a pringle can at the ready

  3. ghostbusters....oh sorry, i am already getting a little crazy following your questions with answers in the comment section, natural selection, the fates have determined the best first for you to burn in, but not the fridge NO for that you become an icicle OH...scary stuff indeed, but alas no ass cause they snip sniped your weed...glad you skipped that first in your burst cause the first can be last for your rhyming ass...

    1. Yeah you got that call
      Never again can't that be uttered at any hall
      Going from no ass to snip snip
      Not even if the cat gets a good grip
      Must be some kind of unnatural selection there
      That the cat is just unaware

  4. smiles...i have my first window yet to there are a few first times still left for all of us...going and get a ball now...ha..just kidding..

    1. See no matter the age
      First can be all the rage
      Always another page
      Although breaking a window costs a pretty wage

  5. This is such a good idea Pat, I love all of your first lists, great concept mate. I wish I'd been the first comment here as odd and queer that makes me sound, I wish I'd been around to hit this first post first and get off the ground.

    1. Just a tad slow
      Today at my show
      As the first was not seen
      By you at my scene
      You'll get there once more
      And yeah firsts are a fun encore

  6. First breath
    first life
    and first cry.

    First laugh
    first smile
    first crawl
    and first walk.

    First words
    spoken then
    read on
    her own.

    First time
    to go live
    off on her own.

    So it
    then starts
    up again
    new ones
    are born.

    And grandparents
    make the
    first time.

    Okay Cat, that's two poems you've got from me today. I'll be back to insult you later!

    1. Geez, is it raining down there
      You can't get outside at your lair? haha
      And yeah just one big go around
      From human to hound
      Unless one is fixed like the cat
      Then nothing comes around once more at their mat haha

    2. No it's not raining. I've got a stomach virus and let's just say this. It's been a shitty day!

    3. Blah to the germs
      Were you eating worms?
      You know they are bad
      Even if a fun drinking time was had

  7. Too much rime will make you go blind.

    1. Pfft that would have happened long ago
      If it were true at my show

  8. The first time I got into the plane, I was so thrilled,
    never mind the head aches ~ But never have I locked up myself
    in the fridge, no that is too cold ~ Great to see your first list Pat ~

    1. haha the cat has done both
      Pat only did the first as he headed south
      Can't say he locked himself into the fridge
      But did go over a great big bridge haha

  9. I still have a half jungle of grass to mow

    I can't wait for the month of snow

    1. Pfft shoving snow sucks so much more
      I'll take grass anyday at my shore

  10. I still have never touched a lawn mower and hope I never will.

  11. Locked in the fridge
    Fell off the stairs
    Lots of other firsts
    But one you did forget?
    Brian's with your bursts
    By so you did Mary in
    And Hank is also lurking


    1. Yeah I was first at Brian's
      Leaving many cryin
      For with such lurking
      I am always left smirking

  12. pat, love these firsts, and still you were able to incorporate references galore…you know, after I posted this, and read your post yesterday, I thought, you know, pat should just post an ad post for the latest book about first meeting Cassie at your bay, certainly a first that brings a smile and not dismay, but this piece is great, again, lots of fun, even got your to curse here at your bay, cats on planes, my cocoa, who I think i told you passed away a couple months back, but he was on a plane with me, and got to keep him in the cage beneath the seat, and it his meowing was so comical that the whole plane started laughing, which I found strange, as most the time those folks want quite or they choose to cane. Thanks for stopping by the pub today

    1. Never told me he passed away
      Unless I was blind at my bay
      True I could have used the book
      As that was a first at my nook
      But threw in a ton
      To give first a run
      LOL at the meowing too
      I guess you never know what type of crew
      You will fly with at all
      As I'd expect also many to go off the wall

  13. Some firsts are fun to remember
    most from October to September!
    First home away from home, first college roommate, too,
    First job, first trip to the emergency room.
    And everyone remembers their first lover.
    First kiss, first car, first pet named Rover.
    Actually, his name was Alex but I had to rhyme
    or you would give me a very bad chime.

    1. haha oh the first college roommate
      That isn't a fate
      I want to relive at my sea
      The oh so fun druggie
      And yeah you must rhyme
      Or it would be a crime

  14. A lot of firsts all got in there, always so busy at yours and Pats Lair.

    1. Yeah always something new
      To go on about at my zoo

  15. It was not funny
    at my show
    first time to sit
    in car wash flow,

    first time to see
    lots cars around
    instead of people's
    walking crowd,

    first time to speak
    without rushing
    the English language
    as my Russian...

    I hope you get
    my icone right
    so this is first post
    to your site.

    1. Yep the icon is back
      Here at my shack
      And wow some firsts can not be fun
      That is known under my sun

  16. yeah always a first time to all
    the first kiss was a really surprise:)!
    but was nice:)
    the first time I go to school I temember all and I was scared!
    the first time the nurses said here are your babies!
    and put them in my arms and I cant stop cry!
    yeah many firsts. and someones are really special!

    1. Yeah the special ones you remember
      And the horrible ones that could dismember
      The middle ones seem to slip from time to time
      But then all come back to give a chime
      Not much more memorable than firsts
      Except for maybe rhyming bursts haha

    2. I remember ALL silly I have a great memory but some things ate special and others I cant talk lol

    3. Yeah some you might want to forget as well
      But other could be more than swell

  17. the first...the first time I used an iphone...and dropped the damn thing!

  18. Wow! I'm surprised cat is still alive. It seems he should've used up his nine lives long ago!

    1. Yeah that is true
      Not sure how Pat or the cat are alive at our zoo

  19. They say "First is the worst."
    But how can it be the worst
    When it's the first
    and there's nothing to compare it to?


    1. That is true
      I suppose most has to come due
      For you to know
      Although some things should never show

  20. Now, I have "neutron Dance" stuck in my head!

    1. Well that's not a bad song
      So it isn't all wrong

  21. All those firsts have gotta last!

  22. In a lifetime of firsts, I can never imagine being able to rival your rhyming bursts,
    But through it all, I always know who you gonna call!

    1. For the ghosts you call those other guys
      But for rhymes you surely don't call flies

  23. Loved all your first times, Pat.
    I fell down the stairs too a few years ago
    twelve wooden steps and off to the hospital I went
    and I don't remember when I first said fuck
    but I do remember asking someone what it meant once
    as I was pretty dense!

    1. Thankfully I just bounced down
      So no trip to emergency room town
      LOL at the fuck too
      I guess you just never knew

  24. I only caught a few movie references... I think I need to watch more older movies... ._.

  25. haha- I actually like mowing the lawn! And a ball through a window- will definitely do it to ya. Love your firsts, thanks for the fun way of sharing.

    1. You actually like mowing the lawn you say
      Damn that's a first at my bay.

  26. you've probably seen way more movies than me


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