What Can Annoy As You Fly For Joy!

So I was listening err umm eavesdropping the other day and knew I had to give this a go at my bay. The guy was going on about the flight from hell. I guess it really was not swell. He seems to have went through an aggravation or two and now let's see what I can use and come up with at my zoo.

Those who pull a stunt,
Sticking their carry on in the front.
When they are at the back.
Surely deserve flack.

Those who have a bag,
And like to play tag.
Carrying it sideways over their head,
Whacking others and causing them dread.

Those who have a small bladder,
And want to make people madder.
So they insist on the window seat.
Yet keep getting up to go pass a treat.

Those tall gals and guys,
Who act so unwise.
And stick out their ass,
So right in your face you can see its mass.

Those who jump up way in the back.
Thinking they are sharp as a tack.
When the flight is done.
Where are they going to run?

Those who let kids off leash.
I mean really? Geesh
Of course they do that anywhere,
Because they just don't care.

Those who push on back your seat.
Do they want me to smell their feet?
Yeah they stink.
Even if your shoes are pink.

Those who need to walk.
Or get up and gawk.
When the meal cart comes.
Should have the decency to stay on their bums.

Those who spit their food.
That is just rude.
I mean when they talk.
But yeah they can to that anywhere to make you balk.

Those that do this and that.
Sure I can go on forever at my mat.
And everyone else can too.
There is always a nut around to annoy you.

Whether by plane, train or car.
Can be found near and far.
Oh well I guess they are here to stay.
Unless we throw them into a below bay.

But that last one could result in jail time for if they can't swim it would surely be a crime. Maybe just ask first and then if yes, quench their thirst. So there we go, all came from ease dropping at my work show. What could be bad also is if they have gas. That would really annoy my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. This is great and I can have no hate. Awesome rhymes to get with the times. I hate those who try to talk and spit their food too, those dudes are the worst.

  2. the worst are those that push on your seat esp if the one the front lays back like a two pronged attack, i dont miss flying as much when they act as such putting me in the crunch

    1. Yeah cramming you between the two
      Has to be an actual pain to you

  3. Complain and
    gripe all
    you like
    but you've
    never flown
    till you've
    flown with
    O'Leary Air
    and paid low

    the customer
    is always

    P.S. we don't give refunds on non-refundable flights. Not even if your mother dies.

    1. Pfft you charge to use the loo
      I wouldn't fly with you
      Unless I brought my own pringle can
      Then I may become some what of a fan

    2. As long as your Pringle can is carry on we won't charge you for it. Just don't check any feckin' luggage, we hate that!

    3. haha the cat doesn't do that
      For then the fee won't be flat
      And you'll prob lose it anyway
      And ruin the cat's day

  4. I always fly O'Leary Air, mile high is included!

    1. Figures since she is in charge
      I hope the bathrooms are clean and large

    2. It's all part of my beds and blowjobs campaign Cat, remember. Jesus, don't you read my effin blog. The loo isn't needed, we care about our customers comfort!

    3. Beds and blowjobs campaign
      Where was I when that came to your lane

    4. I did that ages ago and I think you were following me then. I can't find the post, but here's a link to Michael's Beds and Blowjobs campaign that I spoofed.

    5. Yeah I now seem to recall it
      At least a little bit
      The cat has been out of whack
      So we'll blame that for his mind off track

  5. hahaha. i cant agree more with some of the things mentioned here. i hate it when i have people's arses on my face and those who get up too often for the loo, and those who push your seat!
    i dislike flying for many reasons including these.

    1. haha yeah tons of stuff is annoying to all
      But some are as dense as a wall
      And just stick their arse in your face
      And take up your space

  6. I LOVE THIS!!! I hate when people constantly put the tray table up and down on the back of my seat and the annoying person who wants to start up a conversation beside me when I want to sleep.

    1. LOL yeah those people need to shut their yap
      I just grunt and they usually stop their flap

  7. Pat, this is one of your best!
    Your humor is filled with zest.

    What I hate is the one who puts their seat way down in front of me and then I can hardly get my tray table out. What I hate more than that is having a sick person in back of me spreading germs every sneeze. What I hate equal to that is being close to kids who SQUEAL endlessly.

    1. Oh the sick people are blah too
      With the germs that can come due
      Have to hold my breath and steer clear
      As they can cause my ocd fear
      And best you say
      Ego rising at my bay

  8. haha...or if asleep they go
    and their head drops down on your shoulder. Oh no!

    1. Yeah that is scary too
      Especially when they drool on you

    2. LOL! I would not let their head stay
      long enough to have drool come my way!

    3. LOL then they'd just wake up and spit
      As they said sorry for doing it

    4. maybe we should just fly first class
      so we don't have to deal with that sass!

    5. Yeah but that costs a ton
      And the cat has very little dough under his sun haha

    6. We should sell tickets to the Fountain of Youth!
      Why don't we set up a booth?

    7. LOL but then it might run out
      And cause a drought

    8. you're determined to be a pessimist at your bay
      and squirt prune juice in my lemonade!

    9. haha at least I'll help you go
      With my pessimistic flow

  9. Inconsiderates everywhere
    They look after their own
    They don't bother nor care
    For those others around
    All kinds make this world
    One's tolerance is tested
    Turn a blind eye for a while
    Or one gets more frustrated


    1. Yeah a blind eye you must turn
      Or suffer some anger burn
      But still fun to rant about
      And maybe once in a while make them pout

  10. I always get stuck next to the crying baby. They should put babies in cargo boxes like they do with dogs and cats and make them fly with all of our luggage. It's not mean - we all know babies aren't people.

    1. hahaha yeah just a wailing poo machine
      So it wouldn't be too mean

  11. Or those who bring tuna fish to eat
    thinking it'd be a tasty treat
    until it's opened up for all to smell
    making passengers want to yell
    Who would do such a stupid thing?
    I'll tell ya when the fat lady sings.

    1. haha yeah that is just hell
      That nasty old smell
      But they like to chow down
      Giving all a frown
      The fat lady you say
      My viking woman can come out to play

    2. I heard that your Viking woman smells like fish Cat.

    3. Yep and tastes great too
      The fat she let's me chew

    4. For fucks sake Cat, the mental image that goes with that statement has burned my retinas. I'm blind, I'm blind!!

    5. hahahaha it is loved by the cat
      Maybe I'll get an actual pic of the chewing fat

    6. I dare you to do it! I double-triple dare you to do it!

    7. Hmmmm let's see what I can do
      Just to show you

  12. That is certainly true, cat!! There will ALWAYS be some nut around to annoy us. All I kept thinking about was the crazy lady at the train station making bird noises. LMAO

    1. LMAO yes you thought it was a real bird
      She was really absurd
      With her hippie dippie attire
      But her bird call was on fire

  13. I'd laugh at any threat
    Specially with grunting cat!
    How funny is that...lol

    1. Just laugh with and not at
      And it's fine with the cat haha

  14. my mom says she has a "shy bladder."

    That almost fits the post, but not quite... Hilarious, btw. :D <3

    1. LOL well it sorta does fit
      Shy bladders are common a bit

  15. People who whack others with their bags--that's happened to me. SO miserable LOL!

    1. LOL yeah miserable is the correct phrase
      Hope you gave them an evil gaze

  16. Any thought of a pleasant flight will instantly cease
    If I walk down the aisle toward a seatmate obese
    No way in hell it can be a friendly sky
    If you're shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh

    1. haha that is very true
      Can surely block your view
      And when they have to go to the loo
      They crush you

  17. Haha! And this is why you should only fly first class!

    1. Pfft do you think I'm rich
      You want my to live in a ditch

  18. oh yeah, I've seen all of these and annoying they can be, used to fly from here to there seemingly every month or so, and many of these did irk me so.

    1. All that flying around
      Sure all of them were found
      Not fun at all
      Having any of them fall

  19. I've never had to fly

    but I'm sure the co-passengers could sore more than an eye

    1. That is surely true
      Some would even blind your view

  20. I don't think I ever want to fly again. Thanks for the reminder.

    1. Glad I could remind
      And be a helpful rhyming behind

  21. I hate it when someone in front of me pushed their seat way back ~ I feel so cramped ~

    Also during movies, there are a lot of annoying and noisy people ~

    Hi Pat ~

    1. Yeah movies they can do it too
      That is why I go when few do
      Much better than way
      At the end of the day

  22. So I'm not the only person who feels this way. The other problem is obese people who end up in your seat as well as their own. Why is it I'm only allowed 1/2 a seat and I had to pay as much as they did?

    1. Yeah that is very true
      They should have to buy two
      And stay away from you
      Crushing you and turning you blue

  23. hahah, what a pleasant way to descirbe the annoyances of air travel! in my opinion, we're all pissy when we fly due to all the reasons above. Just grin and bear it!! Love the great rhymes.

    1. haha yeah I suppose we all get pissy
      And aren't so prissy
      Because of all the crap
      That takes a lap

  24. That was a long list of complaints. I wonder how rude he was on the plane.


  25. The kids I can completely agree with. I hate kids on planes.

    I apologize for being tall though, I can't help it if my skinny butt is in your face at times.

    1. haha well at least it isn't large
      And is in my face like a barge


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