Glitch Of A Witch Part One Under My Rhyming Sun!

The lights were turned off and it made the cat scoff. So I jumped up on the table and stretched across like a cable. I grabbed the switch with my teeth and gave it a flick. It was then that I heard a weird click. Smoke began to fill the room, forming in a shroud of doom. Miss Priss raised her head and found no dread, she just went back to sleep until the smoke alarm began to beep.

Pat came running down the hall, looking like he was ready to staple me to the wall. Miss Priss finally joined us as we heard the third person flapping from that guy on the short bus.

"How the? What the? What did you fleabags do to Drazin? Drazin was minding Drazin's own business and you had to go and voodoo Drazin here. Do you want Drazin to turn you fleabags into slippers?"

"I was having a nice nightmare before this mook showed up and ruined it."

Drazin and Miss Priss did their usual yapping and Pat stood with his foot tapping. Until there came a knocking at the door and I knew we were going to end up away from our shore. So I ran to fill my gut as Drazin answered it and we were ranted at by some nut.

"What do you want? Money for a nose job?"

"You think it is funny,
That last year you killed the Easter bunny?
Now you will pay with my chant,
You and everyone at your blog plant."

"Drazin wasn't part of that crap. So leave Drazin out of this."

This typical long warty nosed witch was really a stubborn bitch. She was ranting over and over in some strange dialect and all of us started to connect, under some smoke, beginning to choke.

"Go to lands of candy,
Think all isn't fine and dandy.
For one by one you will die.
So it's time to say goodbye."

The witch cackled and disappeared from view. That is when what I feared came true. The four of us awoke in a land of candy. I guess at least unlike Gawker Island err umm planet is was not sandy.

"Drazin is going to get you fleabags for this crap."

"Why does a god always have to blame cats?"

"Thou art a demon, demons know no better."

"Great! Just what Drazin needs. Your dumb human is off his rocker again. If he shoots something with his finger this time Drazin is going to..."

The three of them stopped yapping as a five foot tall rabbit came rapping. Just our luck. Why could it not have been a killer duck? How many times does the cat have to deal with killer hares? Do they not realize at Halloween no one has Easter cares?

"Welcome one, welcome all.
Here you can have a ball.
Things are off the wall.
Just follow me down candy hall."

"Fleabag, do you always attract these rhyming nuts?"

"The demon makes a good observation?"

Before I could answer he pushed us down the candy road. I think I even saw a chocolate toad. If flying monkeys showed their face I was going to strangle this bunny with Pat's shoe lace. But we travelled through lollipop land and some chewing gum thing which stuck to every hair strand. Finally we ended up at candy hall and the bunny gave his final call.

"Now my job is done,
Back to hyper fun.
Go and see your fate.
I bet it's one you hate."

He skipped off out of view and danced through the gummy glue. I think he had one too many trips are the tootsie roll by the way he took a stroll.

"Time to get this over with, fleabags."

"This is a very interesting place, I bet the tabloid would pay good money for some pictures."

"Pat, your fingers don't work as a camera."

"Drazin is surrounded by idiots."

Drazin pushed the door open revealing a dark and murky hall. There was no candy anywhere at all.

"Godly mook, did you name this? It makes no sense, so it had to be you."

"Shut it, fleabag."

We crept down the hall expecting a trap and Drazin continued his third person flap. But as we neared the other side it seemed to change like the tide. The damn hallway stretched another mile and it kept going as long as the damn Nile. The torches lit up on the side of the walls brighter and we saw the title "He was a fighter." Below the little plaque it was on was a picture that began to dawn. It was of Brian stuck behind glass. He was pounding on it saying something crass. The more the light showed us the hall the more others showed up on the wall. It was the Candy Hall of Fame. It seems these were all the losers of this candy land game. Rather lame I know. But what does one expect from a candy run show?

Everyone was there, each pounding on glass and giving off a swear. It was a regular blogger wall of fame. There was that Irish Air dame. Old one eye was in view, along with Petsy, thinkingcap, Glory Dear, Beer Showers, Contrary, Zen, Waffles and many others from blogland were in view. This was going to be one hell of a meet and greet. I guess you never know what is in that Halloween treat.


So once more at my shore it seems like we are all out and about to explore. Who will live and who will die? I guess we shall see who will go to the sky. Or down below the grass. I will hide behind Drazin so it won't be my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall


  1. Replies
    1. Beat poor Brian and Hank
      One may be cryin the other will walk the plank haha

  2. Ah methinks this is a prose poem
    Good for your dVerse home.

    1. Yeah could work for dVerse
      But it will be a while before we get out of the candyland curse

  3. Considering these guys once killed the Easter Bunny they are not people I'd like to mess with. Great series Pat, can't wait to read the next part.

    1. Well Grammar Nazi killed the easter bunny
      He is of somewhere where it's sunny

  4. Blog plant?

    Laughing like crazy.

    "Now you will pay with my chant,
    You and everyone at your blog plant."

  5. Replies
    1. Yeah that isn't fun
      The things they do under the candy sun

  6. ha, a candy land with no candy, isnt that just dandy...a nose job you say, was that pointed my way? candy land, we play it often, a double color card your lead will soften or to hit one of the bridge spots to jump ahead that is hot...but behind glass i may rot

    1. You may get out from behind the glass
      Her nose could be pointed to your mass
      But then she points it everywhere
      As it is so big one can't help but stare

  7. Amazing lady, this Mary
    Got 'one' at both places
    Forever lurking must be
    An apt winner with grace


    1. Yeah she is a lurker at every sea
      Maybe she carries a magice flea

  8. What more could I ask for?
    Surrounded by friends at a candy shore!
    Gummy drops and tootsie rolls
    away from all those annoying trolls,
    I can't wait to get my fill of chocolate bars
    while hanging out with bloggers from afar
    I'll prop my feet up on this bed
    and rest my pretty head

    1. Rest your pretty head?
      Hmm I'm sure one eye can cause many dread.
      So all a matter of opinion I suppose
      Oh what woes
      Of course get all high on candy
      And you may look just dandy hahahaha

    2. Bryan and Brandon have arrived with some brew
      I cannot be bothered by the likes of you
      I will hang out here and party with my friends
      until you tell us how this tale ends

    3. Oh you may get a chance
      To get drunk and prance
      Or at least show your one eye
      And give a bit of a cry

  9. Actually, now that you mention it, the thought of killing the Easter bunny is pretty hilarious. I imagine an oversized rubber mallet and a lot of plastic wrap.

    And yes, beer showers for all! Looking forward to part deux.

    1. Been there done that
      Last year at my mat
      He was run down
      And we sure made him frown
      You will be in the next one or two
      And prob a few more that come due

  10. Eep Eep Eep!!! Do we at least get to eat the candy?!!? lol I love when you write these stories with all the bloggers in them. THey suck me right in!!

    P.S. You know I'm allergic to bunnies, right????

    1. Stuck behind a wall
      You may not get a candy call
      But who knows how it will go
      And yeah that I know

  11. LOL! You are hilarious. And when I read "Now my job is done" I accidentally read "Now my nose job is done" because of what it said previously. I obviously need more coffee today lol :)

    P.S. I just left a 5 star review for "Out of Tune Moon." That's one of my favorites!

    1. LOL blaming it on coffee withdrawal works
      But I suppose a nose job would get smirks
      Thanks for the review

  12. No wonder I didnt see the easter bunny this year

    Just the columbus day deer

    1. Yeah we haven't killed the deer
      But he better watch out for my little rhyming rear

  13. Whenever I go on diet, I come to your site and read your posts and I loose my appetite.
    But today, my craving for candy and chocolate - take me to Herseys factory, please.

    Candy wall of shame - I like that, like that very very much.

    1. haha glad you like
      This new story hike
      As away we go
      And wait until in this tale you show

  14.'s been a while til someone ruined my candy is not good at all...uuhhh...i think i need a piece of chocolate now...

    1. Talking too your sweet tooth
      Don't blame me for breaking any diet at your booth haha

  15. Hey, congrats on your "out of tune moon", as usual excellent and wonderful.
    I have same comment as before, as a mommy of twin 4-year olds I approve this message. :)
    Add the text separate as well in addition to the text embedded in the picture. They find it easy and amusing to read especially in kindle. And sometimes like in drumplay page (It stayed above Rustry Troll) you have black text in gray background. Kids find it hard to read and spell.

    And did WorqueenDan like this book? He is troll's nightmare and would love it I guess.

    1. Glad you liked the new book
      That was released from my nook
      I suppose on the computer it would be harder to see
      I will keep that in mind the next time one is done by me
      But not always enough room under the pic
      So sometimes it just has to stick
      Who knows about worqueenDan
      He's busy with his clan

  16. Hmmm How long will we be stuck
    behind the glass and all that muck?
    I guess it's the tricks before the treats.
    Maybe on Halloween we'll get something sweet?

    1. Some may be stuck a while
      Others may get out with style
      We shall see as the tale goes on
      Halloween could be one big con

  17. I was there??? so Im not moreb buried??? lol

    1. You might be unburied soon
      At the candy saloon

  18. I thought you should know
    that I linked to your site
    I rhymed a post
    that I hope will delight

    I told my friends
    they should come and see you
    I hope they will visit
    the rhyming guru!

    1. Thanks for the shout
      Will go see what it's all about
      As you rhyme away
      Should be a fun display

  19. The candy hall of fame hey...this was fun
    to read at your shore once more, so let's go
    for the greet and meet, who knows how far up the
    wall will go ~

    Good night Pat ~

    1. Yeah was fun to do
      Glad it was fun to view
      And we shall see
      How far each go one by one or three by three

  20. If I'm gonna die, I better get candy first!

  21. It will be interesting to see who gets out of this one--and how!

  22. Candy land with no candy? Dude, that's just cruel!

    1. Can't have anything to eat
      Might be quite a treat

  23. What kind of a nightmarish world is this? D: What have you created?

    1. It created all on its own
      Or maybe by a witch's moan

  24. I don't want to end up in candy land

    1. Might get eaten by a blob
      Or some witch who's a snob


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