Leave With A Smirk But Is It A Perk?

So all look for a way out as some days we all just want to shout. Out of the rat race that is. So the cat, who gets to lounge around all day, thought he would go back to the ABC's of Rhyme Time biz. No dirty mind is needed like the last time, so there will be no need to decipher this chime. Now with a smirk what you can do if you quit work.

A is for acting but don't kid yourself.
You'd be quite distracting dressed as a pink elf.
B brings the bounce you will display,
When they announce it is coupon day.

C is for check, not your bread and butter.
It means that wreck could be you in the gutter.
D is the drinking that you'll want to come due.
All of that winking might get you a disease or two.

E is for that event you'll have to throw.
Now don't get bent you'll clean dishes like a pro.
F is for fuck which you will spout.
Sadly without a buck there will be no twist and shout.

G is for Google which is your friend.
As you oogle the latest Olsen twin trend.
H is the hay that will get rather itchy.
Considering such a bouquet will make your voice pitchy.

I is for instant which you will see.
When all are distant because of the bum you will be.
J is for job which you threw away.
Now dear old Bob has it with a raise in pay.

K is for kite and it is not endearing.
Day or night go fly it is what you'll be hearing.
L is for linger which you will do.
Jerry Springer won't even hire you.

M is for moo, the noise you will make.
No milk will come due for you'll be discovered a fake.
N makes you nimble, lively and quick.
Yeah, you'll be a symbol, your flashing is sick.

O is for outer, as in space.
Leeching off another's router will send you there with a punch to the face.
P is for party, those that you crash.
Don't take the kid's smarty. Have fun with the trash.

Q is for quit, that which you claimed.
Not such a hit to the poor rat you just maimed.
R is for rat which came from above.
Find them nice and fat, showing your tummy some love.

S is for shit. No, not from you.
For bit by bit piles of it you'll have to wade through.
T is for tin and that fine sign.
Go for the win and say the world is ending and you are divine.

U is for under on those cold nights.
Because of your blunder you get to take in the city lights.
V is for vice that of your thrill.
As you try to sell mice, those that you kill.

W is for work, who needs such a thing.
Being out is a perk, drop coins while I sing.
X is for Xena your long lost heart throb.
Trot out dressed as her in an arena and impress poor desperate Bob.

Y is for yadda yadda of Seinfeld fame.
Those pics make Nevada look rather tame.
Z is for your zone and old work task.
Thanks to Bob's moan and your great Xena mask.

Now you know what will happen at your show, should you just go all willy nilly and walk off all silly. You'll go from gutter to hay enjoying your day. You'll eat some great rat, which I'm sure Brian will say tastes like chicken in the comments below at my mat. Then you'll have to dress up as Xena trot out in some kind of arena and get down and dirty with Bob to afford corn on the cob. Doesn't that sound like something you want to come to pass? Sadly, all can't have the life of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. I love this so much Pat! The alphabet concept is awesome and though I worried what you'd do with the tricky letters you were just playing possum! Your command on words and your vocabulary is one of a kind, I'm going to steal these words for use in day to day conversation from now on if you don't mind! Great post man in all seriousness, I really do love what you do and this is no exception, wow!

    1. Pfft those hard letters can't stop me
      I'll just make something up if things get hairy haha
      Glad you liked the abc hike I gave
      Yeah I'm glad I used the idea to rant and rave

  2. I loved Xena the warrior princess!

    OK, I do not think I will quit my job any time soon so, thanks for the warning.

    1. Xena is grand
      Glad I could help you see the light in your land

  3. F is for fun with you all the time
    F is for funny you've been most times
    F is for fast the speed of your posting
    F is for fact-finding and your rhyming
    F is for friends tailing you like a circus
    F is for fiends and ghoulish characters
    F is for full of weirdos that you can get
    F is fun,fun and fun with the Cat


    1. haha weirdos do abound
      But lots of friends are found
      Those fiends come time and time again
      Always bothering me at my dean
      But glad as is fun fun fun
      With all the F's you gave a run run run

  4. guess i better start clipping if my paycheck i will be ripping, its better to stay on the roll anyway and just hide out in a closet hole each day, stopping by the boss to drop a progress report....smiles...say tastes like chicken not to disappoint, but rat tastes just a bit better than cat and they are not as cuddly, better sign off before i get all fuddy duddy...thanks fo the alpha-rage, had a good trip today at your page...

    1. Glad it was a good trip
      As I let the abcs rip
      Nasty to the cat
      Hopefully you never ate that
      Yeah better than hiding out
      Of course being able to do so I can't say I'd pout

  5. This makes learning the alphabet far easier and more pleasant from my days of Christian brother torture at school.

    1. Also no rulers around
      So no slaps will be found

  6. You need to visit schools
    to share your fun with writing
    Not many kids today
    Know that writing is delighting!

    1. Yeah many seem to run
      When writing is spun
      But so did I
      Way back then when I heard the writing cry

  7. I love this one! It had all of my favorite things, the F bomb, real estate, beating up rude IT people (fine people who leech, same thing) and best of all - Jerry Springer and Google...in one place!!

    1. Showing love to the cat
      Are you sick at your mat? haha
      Lots came due
      As I went from A to Z at my zoo

    2. You never know what goes on in the minds of we women Cat. Sometimes we're nice just to throw you off balance. And Elsie is so much sweeter than you Cat. She can afford to be nice.

    3. She has to be
      Or she would be too scary
      That one eye is lacking
      So many might think she is attacking

  8. That was a darn impressive can of alphabet soup!

    1. The soup sure is better than goop
      That makes me umm get thrown for a loop

  9. Well, I think you covered it from A to Z! I like the internal rhyme you incorporated too btw.

  10. They used to have a random double coupon day at WinnDixie

    which confused my mom more than a pixie

    1. haha those random coupon days can confuse
      But that is more coupons one can use

  11. It's scary knowing Jerry might not even hire me. Keep up the good work.

    1. haha yeah that is a new low
      Making one go to the streets and eat crow

  12. A is for Anne
    K is for kick
    O is for Orlin
    and B is for bum.

    Can you put that all together Cat? Yippity yappity you, you're payment will come due. For up your bum, Anne's brogans will come and kick you from far to near.

    1. But then it will get stuck
      And you'll be screaming feck
      And once you yank it out
      It will be brown and you will surely shout haha

    2. I've stepped in cow shit and horse shit in those shoes, so Cat shit ain't but a thing.

    3. Might mine is as lethal as can be
      You will surely see
      When it rots through your shoe
      An onto the skin of you

  13. Hope the poor sot that has lost his job and now lives under the stars finds a job soon. Winter is coming.

    1. Yeah that would be a good fate
      Or course it was a she that did so at any rate haha

  14. Perhaps you could post this at unemployment offices. It might wake up some folks who quit their jobs lookin' for some freebies.

    1. Or it could be too long
      They may think it is wrong
      And still fail
      Thinking the freebies will set sail

  15. Oh, I sang this song, of course
    with 8 years in the work force.
    I like it better being my own boss, it's true.
    I can show up for work in bunny slippers, too.

    1. Hmph quiet you
      Getting to work at your zoo
      The cat doesn't mind
      But Pat is jealous you have no work grind

  16. Poor rat. I hope, at least, cat had fun maiming it!

  17. I thought F was for duck and S was for sugar... but, never mind, eventually all things must pass from your little rhyming ass. ;)

    1. haha a bit off
      But I won't scoff
      As all things pass
      With a little extra gas

  18. T is for Tracie
    R is for Racie
    A is for Awesome
    C is for Can I be any hotter?
    I is for Is Awesome
    E is for Eventually I'll get my act together.

    M is for Missed the Cat!

    1. haha that works out grand
      Selling yourself in your land
      Glad I was missed
      Better than making one pissed haha

  19. Now where were you, Pat, when I was trying to teach my kids the ABC's? This is much better than their typical picture book fare. :D

    1. Glad I could beat the picture books
      Mine would sure get some strange looks

  20. This was quite a feat
    to rhyme from head to foot
    ABC will never be the same
    after Pat and cats rhyming song ~

    1. A feat I can do
      Easy at my zoo
      As the rhyme rings through
      From a to z for all to view

  21. A cool companion to the song "Alligators All Around".

    1. Don't think I've heard that one
      Will have to go give it a run

  22. a buck for a twist and shout
    i'm down with that
    and if jerry springer is hiring
    i'll dust his hat
    or maybe be his rat
    like the look here
    rhymes so good to hear

    1. Prob get some good dough
      On Jerry' show
      And been a while
      As long ago I changed my style

  23. The Human is old
    And lately I'm told
    Soon I may see her more at home
    quietly gathering mold.
    But for now she is sold
    On earning a little more gold--
    Not retiring just yet
    That plan's still on hold!

    1. Well at least then
      There at your den
      She could wait on you
      All the day through

  24. A is for Attitude
    B is for Brains
    C is for Cat - itude
    D is for great Danes

    E is for Enjoy your weekend, Pat

    1. haha got a little bit through
      Giving the cat much that is true
      Of course a great dane
      Would be scary at my lane


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