Appealing To The Masses Who Sit On Their Wide Asses!

So you humans are you content to sit on your couch and vent at some stupid reality TV? Isn't reality free? Yet you pay for and watch the crap. What is so interesting about that Hulk Hogan chap? Either way, if you like the two bit hack job crap at your bay, what the heck. Feel free to watch such and such plastic faced whack job shuffle a card deck. Maybe he'll get an ace or fall flat on his face. Wow! Entertaining I say. No wonder you watch it on display. You guessed it. Today we go on and appeal to those oh so wise humans out there, with a reality TV fit.

Find a great name.
Some mook of past fame.
Throw in an old flame,
And some new dame.

Add a little yelling,
Forget to check spelling.
Wait! You can spell anyway,
Guess you earn your pay.

Walk the streets,
Singing to your own beats.
That's right!
Mickey Mouse raps are a sight.

Don the suit,
Jig to a flute.
Either way it'll be a hit,
To each and every nitwit.

But let's not make them idle,
We need to tell them a title.
Tons we can create,
Widening their ass at a steady rate.

Swab The Deck,
The pirates will say heck.
Make you walk the plank,
May even rift Frank the Tank.

Storm The CEO.
Just run and step on their toe.
Whoever breaks one first,
Wins and quenches their thirst.

Fast Food Trips.
Let all pass their lips.
All they have to do is survive.
They may not come out alive.

Shop Until You Drop!
This won't be a flop.
Whoever can hold the most crud,
Wins, as the others fall in the mud.

Frame A Nun.
That would be so fun.
Prove they aren't holy,
Then scream holy moly.

Rope Me In.
In order to win,
You have to pull a mate from a cliff.
Get to keep the one who makes you ummm stiff.

Damn, I am good.
Provide entertainment for the lame I should.
Make a quick buck,
But then rolling around in the muck would be yuck.

So the cat will avoid such things and continue to ignore the reality TV crap at his wings. Too bad we are stuck with the crap, that should take a dirt nap. But oh well, at least all will have Egyptian Idol reruns in Hell. Now I'm done appealing to the mass who sit on their ass and have less brains than that singing bass. Oops! I may have just been an offensive little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. Those who get over involved in reality television are society's bane, I'm so sorry that us over in the United Kingdom created the hell that is reality television and I'm definitely sorry for sending that Simon Cowell creep over to your country that gets no sleep. Great post Pat, and I'm inches away from posting this first at your mat!

    1. First you were
      In my a blur
      And yeah such a bane
      Wish all those shows would be hit by a train

  2. we were just talking about this at the inlaws, about all those suckered in to watch others pratfalls, in so called reality, which makes for poor tv, i mean who really enjoys honey boo boo, i'd rather try passing glass in my poo poo

    1. What? You just dissed Honey Boo Boo???? I think there might be a marathon tomorrow if you want to see what you're missing, Brian....

    2. hahaha I agree with you
      Passing glass would be better to do
      Then sit and watch any of that shit
      Pathetic how society has to watch others pitfalls at their pit

      Pffft mind rot
      All day from such a plot

  3. I never watched Hogan's reality show

    most shows don't come with a nasty divorce.

    1. Yeah most do not
      But some have to as they suck a whole lot

  4. I am with Brian. Lordie, spare me from Honey Boo Boo and her family. Who cares about the Housewives of Somewhere? Who cares who hangs around Jersey Shore? And the Kardashians?

    (I have never EVER watched any of the above shows, nor will I.)

    1. Same with me
      Never ever will watch such trash at my sea
      Mind numbing garbage is all it is
      This stpid reality tv biz

  5. Better to offend
    With a message to send
    They'll listen if it's a new trend.
    To wake up from their snooze
    You can ply them with booze
    No matter, they always will lose.
    We hate to spread doom
    From the womb to the tomb
    So let's sing to the prune of a goon.

    1. A prune of a goon
      That could be a cartoon
      The prune tries to make nice
      While the good always gives bad advice
      Now there is an idea for a book
      May have to do it at my nook haha

  6. I might have watched Hogan's show, so what? I was there for his first Wrestlemania, after all, I felt I owed it to him. The poor guy was broke and yeah, the show sucked week after week and I stopped watching it. And, yeah, I watched Gene Simmons show for a bit too because, well, it's Gene Simmons. And, um, I also watched Dee Snyder's show too. Maybe I'm a bit depressed that Jersey Shore is no more - so what? I still have Honey Boo Boo!! You can't beat that high quality television! Or New Jersey Housewives either!! I already admitted I'm a reality tv show junkie but I assure you my ass ain't wide, cat.

    1. hahaha I wrote this before you admitted that
      But still pfffffft in every way at my mat
      All those hasbeens can do
      Is put on a fake reality show to view
      Screw them all
      I'd rather watch paint drying on the wall

    2. I bet you secretly watch all of them and even have a crush on Honey Boo Boo's mom!

    3. Not a chance
      Don't even give them a glance
      Plus no cable at my sea
      So no show is watched on my tv

    4. *gasp*

      No cable? So that's the secret! That's how you get all your writing done!

    5. Pfft can't afford that
      So I just dwl away at my mat

  7. Ugh. The thing is, they aren't reallllly real.
    I mean, who believes that spiel?
    With a whole camera crew in their living room
    as they act out some drama doom
    and pretend it's just regular life
    and people get sucked into their strife.
    Never watch it over here
    I don't even know Honey Boo Boo, I fear!
    And of that I am glad.
    She sounds kinda sad.

    1. ok...just did a google on her, too
      and I've seen her in the news.
      I guess Snooki might loose her place
      in the reality tv race!

    2. LOL yeah I only heard of her
      By the way others spur
      And go on at their sea
      That crap is avoided by me
      As as you say
      It is all fake as they put on a display

  8. That was good Pat! We never watch TV much any more at all, for most of those reasons!

    1. And good reasons too
      More fun giving the litterbox a view

  9. I don't watch reality shows Pat except maybe for food but its more for fun ~

    And it works both ways, they get the money for making themselves fools on tv ~

    Happy Sunday Pat

    1. Yeah the money is the only part
      That I'd want at my cart
      Food I can see
      As cooking might want to be done by thee

  10. Hi! Orlin,Pat Hatt,and Miss Priss the cat...

    I must admit that I don't watch reality T.V. at my "place" and Oh! no, I'm not just saying that just to save "face..." lol

    I think that I would rather die from "disgrace than to admit that I turn on the telly to watch "Honey Boo-Boo face!"[Oh! man, I can't forget her silly]

    [I don't mean to put their family "down," but from what I overheard they act like..."clowns!"]
    deedee :)

    1. Yeah all act dumb
      With their widening bum
      Not watching the crap
      Seems to be an every shrinking gap
      With the nuts buying such shit
      That these idiots spit

  11. [Note:If you "tap" the words "Honey BooBoo face!" that is a link back to her reality show over there on]

  12. Hey, I was just over at Elise's blog, where she says you sent her an inflatable bra. I nearly fell out of my chair, laughing! You the man! (Can you send me one of those?) LOL!

    1. hahaha well I know where to get them now
      So could send you one with a little meow

  13. Reality TV, I am not a fan
    For the writers do not have a plan
    For me, I'll take fiction
    For at least there aren't any contradictions

    1. Well the bad fiction can contradict
      In some of the things they depict
      But still beats reality tv
      And all the crap they put before you and me

  14. It is such
    crap and
    within it
    a trap.

    Take the
    idle mind
    and mindless
    it makes
    a morass
    or morons

    To the lowest
    this does
    appeal who
    laps up
    this shite
    like everyday

    The swine
    they will whine
    if it's taken
    away for
    then they
    shall live
    with themselves
    for a day.

    I don't watch that garbage. I have an IQ that is higher than 80 and I don't live in a trailer park either.

    1. LMAO geez old one eye may take offense
      As she watches the crap that is dense
      But yeah you are right
      Those with a low iq are who have it in sight
      Wasting away over such shit
      Making that garbage a hit

    2. You're the one who wrote the piece about reality t.v. not me. And everyone here seems to agree that it's shite. I came in late to the "hate reality tv". Looks like there's a lot of offensive people that beat me to the punch.

    3. Yeah all seem to think it is shit
      Which for me is a hit

  15. Ug - I hate reality tv! Great rant Pat.
    I hope you and the cat have a Happy New Year.

    1. Sure we will
      And yeah reality tv makes us ill

  16. High-fives to you for this post.
    The K's and Snooki I hate most
    And the fact they're filthy rich
    For being a jerk, a fool, or b*tch.
    I say, "Just say 'no' to the reality show."

    Happy New Year, Pat, to you and the cat.

    1. Yeah just say no
      And find another show
      Getting rich for such crap
      Makes all who watch a foolish chap

  17. If that's reality, give me fiction!
    Watching TV causes too much friction--
    Instead I like to write my blog
    And watch, on cat feet, as in comes the fog.

    (Well, I *do* live in San Francisco!)

    1. Yeah writing is more fun
      Then such crap that is spun
      A little fog here
      But most days its clear

  18. Yep, I will also avoid reality TV like the plague. It's all scripted anyways.

    1. Yeah that it is
      As money comes first in such a biz

  19. yeah reality tv is all scripted!!!


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