It's Round Nine As They Still Bother The Feline!

As we near the end of the year I guess the crazies are still sticking to my little rhyming rear. Not literally though or I would pass some gas and away they would go. It seems nothing can scare them away. Oh well, at least they make for a post here and there at my bay.

"big bird sees ernie and bert getting it on"

And you know this how? Were you told by a small cow? Maybe a medium owl? Or a half and half fowl?

"pics of raccoon humping dog"

You clearly have issues. Just make sure you use tissues. I won't judge your porn. I'm sure some people have a thing for corn.

"how big do rats get"

How am I supposed to know? I just eat them and away I go.

"do bananas make u toot?"

Why are you asking me? You can find out easy. Try one and that will be that. You either toot or not at your mat.

"superhero undies men"

I guess they were looking for Brian. I wonder if they kept tryin?

"heinz spotted dick"

And with a bloody hell, I'll let daydreamertoo take this one at my cell.

"i wish i could walk away from my nasty ass job"

Well you know you could crawl or maybe hop, skip and jump down the hall.

"farting presented in paintings"

People sure have gas today. And why would someone paint that anyway?

"i hear the secrets that you keep when"

When I what? Come on, tell my little rhyming butt? Is it when I swear? Pfft why do I care? I tell all at my sea, nothing is TMI for me.

"rhymes about our face"

Your face if flat,
Your face is round,
You don't look like a cat,
You look like a hound.
At least be happy,
That you aren't sappy,
With a one eye,
That makes me cry.

"dirty rhyme fun under the sun"

Hmmm I probably don't want to know. Keep the germs at your own show. A different dirty you say? Hmmm are you the raccoon dog porn guy back at my bay?

"inapooit words"

Wow, you really have rotten luck. You confused lord google making it think what the umm cluck. But at least you found the cat. You have to be happy with that.

"bad breath germs on teeth cartoon"

The cat can't draw with the paw or claw. So you are out of luck. Maybe go find an artsy duck.

"a.d.d a delicious dick shirt"

That is just soooo wrong. I bet you even made it into a song.

"ugly lady missing teeth"

Clearly someone has teeth issues and are finding me. Even though the cat's teeth are nice and pretty.

"a cat on top of a pumpkin with a cape rhyme"

There was a cat,
Who squashed all flat.
He practiced each day,
On the pumpkins he'd slay.
He'd squash them like a grape,
But never get any on his cape.

"youre so lame rhym"

Ummm I think you proved that yourself. Learn some grammar at your shelf.

"squirrel saying boobies you has them"

Wow, squirrels can talk. I bet they can even draw boobies with chalk.

"boys bouncy balls"

Now here is simply a sicko in every way. I hope they go to jail and get some balls of their own on display.

"chuck norris dog movie"

That would be Top Dog. But we don't want mutts or Chuck Norris at this blog.

And so for the winner of this round. I know, how can you top a raccoon humping a hound? I think this one sure takes the cake. He is rather whiny and may need to drown himself in a lake. Or herself of course it could be. I wouldn't want to discriminate at my sea.

"and then i said i won't shit on the carpet anymore"

So you shit on the carpet in the first place? And you had the nerve to type this into some search engine place? You didn't even tell what wouldn't make you do it anymore. I suppose after typing all of that you had to stop before you started to bore. Now another search engine post has come to pass as the crazies keep on finding my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. Crazies really make good pets?
    They don't 'shit on the carpet'
    If a squirrel can spot boobies
    And can enjoy Chuck Norris movies
    That's how it should be played
    Just not necessary to be sad
    A raccoon humping a hound?
    Doesn't make for something sound
    Doesn't matter, you've got it made
    The New Year is going to be great!


    1. All disturbing sights
      But turn off the lights
      And then might be better I suppose
      Crazies still cause woes
      Rather clean up shit
      From a cat lickity split
      Hopefully it is great
      2012 I will forever HATE!

  2. Promises are all I hear
    It's time for you to buy the beer.
    Carpet cleaners don't come cheap
    If all your promises you keep
    Crazies come and crazies go
    As all banana eaters know.

    1. Banana's are nasty to me
      But cause many glee
      And pfft to the beer
      That causes the cat fear

  3. ha - i'd rather teach that rats how to cook instead of eating know...after seeing ratatouille...maybe they're up for writing rhymes as should try...smiles

    1. Pffft to the rats
      They'll get eaten by cats
      And I suppose though
      They may after such a movie show

  4. does it ever concern you the things people google to ogle you, racoons, what a sick pup, the thought makes me want to throw up...spotted dick, sick-o, but hey if thats how you roll...err...

    1. Yeah it is scary what people put in
      And search out at their bin
      Bringing them to my place
      With their sicko embrace

  5. I love looking at Lord Google's landing results. Our highest searches are still the ever-screwed up "12 year old girl in booty shorts" or "how to cheat on your wife" or "boob" (seriously, just the word 'boob' gets like 100 search hits a week... why? You just want one? Not the pair?). But we also get a high amount of traffic for "I hate my f***ing neighbors," which makes me smile.

    1. haha sounds like you get some fun ones too
      And yeah just have boobs and many come due
      Not sure why they want one
      Stupi fecking neighbors are no fun

  6. Oh, you do attract the weirdos for sure
    I just don't know what to think anymore.
    There are some strange people out there
    googling odd thoughts in their underwear.

    1. Yeah that they are
      Strange near and far
      Always finding my place
      I need to get more than mace

  7. No wonder those silly racoons wear masks!

  8. You are strange
    that's for sure
    you've spotted
    at you shore.

    A theme
    I see
    with delicious
    and bouncy
    boy balls
    going 'round
    your halls.

    And humping raccoons
    what a loon
    a dog will
    get the shaft.

    But finally
    gas will
    from your
    little rhyming

    You showed up as a search once on my blog. It was "Pat Hatt playing drums"

    Have a good one Cat. Hope Pats arm is on the mend after a few days of rest :)

    1. haha never played drums before
      Interesting how I showed up at your shore
      And lots of strange things sure came to pass
      Before I passed some gas
      Arm isn't so bad
      But still not typing much for a good while at my pad

  9. orlin N cassie...we can tell ewe for a fact we haz seed rats de size oh peepuls.......oh, wait...they IZ peepuls

    OK then.....

    1. haha that is sure strange
      Send those people err umm rats out on the range

  10. I can't believe some of the things people search up when they at your blog they come to pass. I guess it's due to rhymes about your ass and gas. Great post Pat, as a bit of enlightenment Spotted Dick is a humorously named dessert over in jolly old England and Heinz I think is the company that makes them. Whether or not you've referred to anything of that kind in this blog remains to be seen however.

    1. Yeah who knows
      What way the wind blows
      As they search for such things
      Always ending up at my wings

  11. jumpin' Jack Flash
    this post was a gas.

    but now i'm all in
    must break, like the wind.

    Happy Festivus!


    1. Well breaking like the wind at your sea
      Beats breaking wind and causing others to flee

  12. OMG, those are so funny. Now my mouth hurts from laughing so hard!

    1. hahaha sorry about the mouth
      Hope your lip didn't get fatter and head south

  13. big bird now has nightmares of bert and ernie

    which is better than ones of Mitt Romney

    1. That is very true
      Oh the things politics and Sesame Street can do

  14. Those are freakin' hilarious, however, the last thing you are is a lame rhyme, so I don't know how they ever found you with that one.

    1. I suppose google had a mix up
      Or some error 509928404 hiccup

  15. The search words are so funny Pat ~ (the funniest for me is the bananas farting)

    I think its because you might have rhyme them one way time or the other in the past ~

    Have a good night Pat ~ Thanks for the all the cheers the whole year through ~

    1. Yeah it has to do with that
      Say one word or phrase and the crazies come to your mat
      And no problem at all
      Always fun to spread cheer at my hall

  16. So lame are you
    I think it's true
    You really do
    Think this poem is about you

    1. Yes I know
      Lame at my show
      I'll bite a toe
      And then be all aglow

  17. We've had a blizzard here and Fang isn't at all happy right now. Too much time indoors and I'm now calling her Growlykins.

    Nitey Nite Cat

    1. haha wants to go out
      And lets you know with a growling shout
      But screw the snow
      That has to go

  18. Bert and Ernie getting it on! You eat rats!!! I'm so confused!!!!

    1. haha what people search for
      I google as they find my shore


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