Some Evil Ploy That Brings No Joy!

You can't do it. So don't judge one bit. You are more inclined to go about your rat race or stuff your fat face. Oh a double rhyme there. Damn, I'm good at my lair. But what am I going on about? I guess I'll just have to give it a shout.

Left to right it goes.
Depending on how the wind blows.
Or would that be arm?
Either way, keep it out of harm.

For it must remain high.
Otherwise it will be scratched on the first try.
Once it catches my eye.
I have to make the thing die.

Why do you torture me?
Just let the damn thing be.
Be so much easier to gulp down.
If you didn't keep moving it across town.

Making me run down the hall,
Bouncing my head like a ball.
But I will not give up.
Like some easily distracted butt sniffing pup.

I will catch you and that thing.
No matter where you let it fling.
Up and down and all around.
I'll tackle it without making a sound.

If your leg or arm should get in the way.
You won't have a very nice day.
Maybe a scar to show off though.
If you like that sort of thing at your show.

You're the dumb one,
That made me run.
If only you'd given it to me.
I would have left you be.

But oh know.
You had to make it go.
Just couldn't let me eat it.
So shut up and take the hit.

Let the blood flow.
And just know.
I always win.
So next time just drop it next to my food bin.

Don't make me chase the damn fuzzy ball.
Bouncing it on a string up and down the hall.
I already know I can jump through the air.
A fact you are also aware.

So just give me the damn thing.
I like to eat string.
I promise to chew,
Not letting anything bad come due.

Drop, stop and go away.
Let me play.
I don't need a dirty human to help.
Oops, I scratched you, go give a good yelp.

Why you humans make us chase fuzzy balls or mice on a string. Yeah, I know fuzzy balls sounds like some gutter thing. But why you make us chase them is beyond me. Then you sit and laugh at what you see. Or get all glum because I scratched your bum. Too bad there lad and lass. You've just been taught not to mess with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. You think it's fun
    To chase the fuzzy one
    If you need it
    Why don't you keep it
    Don't throw it back
    And laugh to expect
    It in your hands
    And have me then run again
    What do you gain
    From this game?
    I'm real tired
    May have you fired
    You'll then not own me
    And I'll be free!


    1. The cat tries
      But Pat yanks it to the skies
      And throws it all about
      As I jump in and out
      Exercise I suppose
      As I leap from my toes

  2. One,two three again
    With some gains!


  3. haha...i make mine chase yarn or string, leave it laying then give it a sling, he gets a little crazy but it keeps her from getting lazy...and truth be told its for my own comedy....smiles.

    1. haha yeah that it is
      A human comedy biz
      The cat eats the string though
      Which is no good you know

  4. I trained
    my human
    says Fang
    to Orlin
    she tried
    that once
    with me.

    I left her
    so drop
    the thing
    she did.

    Through lidded
    eyes I
    looked at
    my face
    a smug

    No more
    would she
    torment me,
    the Queen
    of all
    I see.

    I did try this once with Fang and she seemed to be having fun and then she caught my hand with her claws. Because she's lived her life outdoors and has had to hunt for food, when she plays, she doesn't hold back. She's so much faster than the two housecats we have and she packs a wallop with her arm. What's play to them, is survival for her.

    She does ask to come in every night now and she sleeps right beside my head on the pillow. I adore her.

    1. haha not going to take any strat
      From you at your mat
      And being part wild cat
      I also squash the body parts of Pat
      Scratching them up with ease
      Whenever I please
      Looks like Fang owns you now too
      As she takes over your zoo

    2. She still can't cope with the other two cats though. She's had to fight cats outside for so long that she's scared of them. The Spawns cat is this huge Maine Coon and he wants to be her friend, but she just feels threatened. She loves the dogs though and rubs up against their faces purring away.

      She really is a perfect kitty and she can own me as much as she likes.

    3. Sure she will come around
      To more than just each hound
      But than again Orlin hates cats too
      And makes them all shoo

  5. Tis the Christmas season so I thought I would share:
    It was Christmas Eve and everyone was feeling Mary.
    But mary had to leave.
    Then they jumped for Joy.
    But, she hadda go, too.

    1. So did that just leave Holly?
      I bet she made all feel rather jolly.

    2. Well we can't be greedy
      That would be rather seedy

  6. It really is true, that hall is the best place to chase a ball!

    1. Yeah the hall is nice and big
      To snap that string like a twig

  7. It's funny how every cat likes to play with string

    must be an evolutionary thing.

    1. Yeah has to be
      They even try to eat it at each sea

  8. Ha ha, a dog has more sense than to chase a fuzzy thing
    but throw them a squeaky ball and they feel like a king!
    Have a great day...fuzzy things and all in your bay!

    1. Yeah each have their vice
      But both can chase down mice

  9. My cats chaseme most of the time. As well as pistachios...

    1. Chase you away
      That must make their day

    2. And then they'll get hungry... and come and beg me for forgiveness.

    3. Well have to have food
      No matter how rude

  10. ha much fun...and i'm glad that they allow us dirty humans from time to play to play with them..smiles

    1. Yeah the dirty humans can play once in a while
      For they aren't always so vile

  11. Maybe the cat should get a laser pointer for Christmas (insert evil laugh here). ;-)

    1. Got one of those
      But they just make the cat doze

  12. Oh, btw, I saw The Hobbit movie last night, and it was rather disappointing. But let me know what you think, that just my opinion.

    1. Figures that is what it would be
      I guess I shall see

  13. You could just act all aloof
    like you didn't see the spoof
    but no, you can't help yourself
    chasing the ball along the shelf.
    So we humans take advantage of your addiction
    and enjoy as you entertain as your affliction.

    1. Yeah I suppose
      Could also bite your toes
      And make you drop it right there
      That would stop such things at each lair

    2. Socks likes to bite my toes and fingers
      but he's gentle and rather ginger.
      Kinda cute in a way,
      this fetish he has at my bay.
      Doesn't do it to any of the men
      I guess mine smell better to him.

    3. Or maybe they smell worse
      And he's trying to break the curse
      By adding his smell
      To make them swell

    4. No, I'm quite positive my smell better
      in any and all kinds of weather.

    5. what I meant to type. ha.

    6. haha screwing up once more
      So fun to see at my shore

  14. This is a great set of poetry as usual Cat, I love this post a whole lot buddy. This gave me a whole lot of joy, if Pat was not around that would indeed annoy. Awesome post mate.

  15. Cats are mercenaries, the cool kind though,
    but dogs are for show!

    1. Yeah they will get it down
      Wearing the mercenary crown

  16. It's funny to watch a cat
    Chasing fuzz balls, or anything at that.


    1. Yeah as they jump high and low
      Watching where the ball will go

  17. Chasing balls is for dogs, not cats!

  18. Running and chasing the fuzzy ball is fun for humans,
    not for the pets or cats though ~

    Wishing you good night Pat ~

    1. Yeah fun for the humans to do
      Should hit them with something eww

  19. Hehehe... My ferrets chased fuzzy things on strings too... Oh they were so silly...

    1. Yeah seems to be an appeal
      With the fuzzy thing deal

  20. It's only 8:00 here and I'm knackered so I'm off to dreamland.

    Nitey Nite Cat.

    1. I'll be there in a bit too
      After I hop around for a few

  21. It's so amusing to watch a pet chase after a toy . . . though more fun for the humans, I guess!

  22. Wait, what do you do here? It has been a long time. Oh yeah, hilarious posts that flow. Good to see you still excelling Pat. Also, seems I owe you a book review. Better get to work on that...

    1. Surely has been a while
      But I still go the rhyming mile
      And excel I will
      Here at my hill

  23. lol Could be worse. Could be a laser light.

  24. I like to bat at things that are pretty
    And the Human says, You're such a good kitty!
    And I feel like a chump or a sell-out
    But then I think, What's that about?
    I'm having quite a bit of fun, no kidding--
    And the Human, well, she's just doing my bidding!

    1. That is another way to think
      As humans try to bring us to the brink
      They are still under out control
      With their fuzzy ball stroll


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