When It's Cold You Humans Are Told!

Have to wait and see who this could be!

The cat was trying to sleep the other night and stupid Pat would not stay just right. He had to roll here and there and just curl up my neck hair. So I swatted him good and he soon understood. He did more so when I bit his arm around the elbow.

Pick a spot and stay,
That is how you lay.
For the entire night,
Until I see the sunlight.

If I want to sleep,
Ever so deep,
On your ass,
You take a pass.

If I want all of the bed,
You move your damn head.
You play like you're dead.
No matter how much I cause you dread.

If I want the pillow.
Go grab a pussy willow.
See the cat is nice,
Giving you a feline slice.

Or at least there is the name,
That brings some fame.
Just don't let things rise.
I may pounce should that arise.

If you can't tell from my look,
That I think you're a crook.
For stealing my sleep,
You flip flopping creep.

Then your leg will fry,
I'll poke you in the eye.
I'll steal the covers too.
And stick to you like glue.

It is cold,
So I am sold.
Even if you stink,
I'll curl up at our rink.

Then you stay still.
Or I'll give you a thrill.
The bed is mine,
All belongs to the feline.

You just rent your little spot.
I don't care if I make you hot.
Just stay in one place,
Don't make a funny face.

Don't grunt or move at all.
Don't go running down the hall.
Hold it all night.
And don't take flight.

I am the master of the room.
You are just the broom.
I'll lay like I'm in bloom.
You just stay still or I'll cause you doom.

All you humans take such advice or you'll be the ones chowing down on mice. When the cat wants the bed whether it's at your feet or at your head. Just stay still and you will suffer no ill will. If you move though I can't be responsible for what happens at your show. So just let the night pass and maybe you won't, but I'll be a happy little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. Replies
    1. Photo finish once again, but beaten by my friend Hank in the end.

    2. Damn you two are always close
      Hank squeaked in seconds soner at my house

    3. If I would have wanted to... I would beat you both....

  2. Replies
    1. Photo finish that's right. It could have gone either way!


  3. I know exactly where you're coming from here Pat, if a cat wants the bed then he's going to just take it haha. I love that about cats though, very cute piece of writing mate.

    1. Yeah they always win
      If you move you are comitting a sin

  4. That's a narrow fix
    The Cat decides on Pat
    Pat has to accept it
    Has to 'rent' for a nap
    Cat head of the household?
    The Master of the room
    It has got a stranglehold
    Pat just has to conform


    1. Very true
      He and she rule two by two
      Pat just gets to comform
      But it has become the norm

  5. ha assert who is in charge
    and living large
    i am sure is annoying
    feeling the humans are toying with you
    my moving all over the bed at your zoo
    just give'm a claw or two
    and they will def listen to you
    (or throw you out in the cold, ha)

    1. haha no place for the cold
      Since an apt is where we fold
      But a scratch is pure gold
      And many have taken hold

  6. so true, my dog and cat used to kick me out of bed, or sleep on me and then complain if I move them, maybe cats are the hidden rulers of the universe?

    1. They sure think they are
      Ruling all at ones sand bar

  7. I'm afraid to found out what would actually happen if things did arise causing a tent in your bed.

    1. Let's just say there is no joy
      As he thinks I'm playing with him with a toy LOL

  8. I used to have my favorite chair
    But now I find a feline there
    So OK Pussy, you are new
    I'll chose another, leave that for you
    But when I go to pick my spot
    I find you there go get a cot
    I think that cats can read one's mind
    What ever chair there do I find
    A furry thing tight in a ball
    Grrrr I'd like to kick her down the hall
    Sweet and purring but I vent
    She's become the queen of my whole darn tent

    1. Yeah that is the way it goes
      And it only grows
      First the chair, than the couch
      Than everywhere you want to slouch
      We just can't win
      So may as well give in
      Then we are the ones on the floor
      Next they'll make us do a chore

  9. Fur balls FTL. Really bad if you want to go to sleep.

    1. Yeah they have it so tough
      That they have to make your sleeping patterns rough

  10. Hey, they early cat get the warm!

  11. lol Maybe the fur balls need their own bed...

    1. Still would not work
      They would just annoy me and smirk

  12. I sleep with Ruby, my beloved grey tabby
    When I move around a lot at night she gets crabby
    She's like "Stay in one place already!!"
    So I have learned to sleep still and steady

    1. Yeah I try my best
      Sometimes i pass the test
      But some nights I just have to turn
      Then i feel the glare of their eyes burn

  13. LOL, kids and cats have a LOT of similarities. ;)

    1. haha thanks for the warning on that
      As they get bigger than a cat haha

  14. Oh, that is so true.
    Same thing at our zoo.
    But only to The Mister.
    Must be his whiskers.
    They pile on his side alone
    and leave me to sleep in a zone.
    He complains in the morning
    but I give a warning
    that they must know I need my beauty sleep!
    Didn't know there was a problem as I sleep so deep!

    1. haha that is a bit eerie
      But they do need you cheery
      After all you feed them each day
      And are always around to play
      Or maybe he just has a better smell
      Or they want to cause him hell haha

    2. haha...I take my shower at night
      so I don't think I cause a stink fright.
      I think they're just nice to me
      because I'm so sweet, you see.

    3. lol that is prob it
      Or they don't trust you one bit
      After all
      You did get them all snip snip at your hall

    4. Yes, that is true at my hall
      the horror I hope they don't recall.
      Maybe they think it was just a bad dream
      and I'm as innocent as I seem.

    5. haha i doubt that
      They'll think twice before falling for that cage trick again at your mat

    6. yeah, they are too smart for their own good
      no treats in a cage for this smart brood.
      Might have to take Whiskers to the vet.
      At least she'll let me pick her up and pet.
      I think she hurt her mouth some how.
      She won't eat and her mouth smells like a cow.

    7. Blah to that
      After he bills for Cassie cat
      Hate the vet
      But they do fix each pet
      Could have some mouth issue going out
      Hopefully it is easily treatable at your lawn

    8. Yeah, I have to take her tomorrow
      she looks in pain and in sorrow.
      Can't eat for about a week
      I think it's her tongue instead of her teeth!
      Got in a bad fight a while back
      must have bitten who did the attack!

    9. Got germs from a bite
      That is a fright
      Could have taken a claw as well
      Have to get that fixed at your cell
      As if they don't eat
      Not even a treat
      Fatty liver they will get soon
      And $2000 vet bill will swoon

    10. that would be funny
      if you didn't just go through it, honey.
      But I don't have a dvd collection to sell
      so that bill would really cause me hell!

    11. haha yeah at least she can say
      She made more room to run around my bay
      And really have to dig for a pot of gold
      If that took hold
      I hear that fallen metoerite though
      Goes for tons of dough

    12. don't exactly have an extra meteorite laying around
      here or anywhere in town
      but if I find one or two
      I'll certainly share with you. ha.
      Jack said I could use his Petsmart gift card
      and take her to the vet there at their yard
      and I got a coupon online, too,
      for a free exam and consultation! Woo hoo!
      Hopefully the rest won't cost too much
      and Jack can safe her life and such.

    13. Hopefully that will work out well
      Never knew there was a vet at Petsmart's cell
      None up here I fear
      At any petsmart near

  15. Oh Oh! A very good reason, for not sharing one's life, with a cat.... ,-)


    "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons,
    for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

    1. But then a human takes up more room
      and their night time gas can bring doom LOL

    2. I know I'm going to sound dumb,
      but where did that quote originate from?
      The one about dragons and ketchup?

    3. It a rift off of Lord of the rings
      Changed to from wizards to dragons and things

  16. Have real thick blankets incase things rise too much!

  17. All I can say is you could substitute feline for canine and cat for dog and that would describe sharing a bed with a certain corgi I know, especially the part of "I'm the master of this room". Thing is the bed is big enough for three if someone would take his fair share.....

    cute rhyme :)


    1. hahaha yeah they want more than their fair share
      Thinking they own everything at your lair

  18. Hmmm . . . so why is Pat so restless?

    1. I don't know
      I guess he just need to sleep right at our show

  19. My pets are allowed to sleep anywhere except my bed. I learned long ago that once I cave in and let them up, it's no longer MY bed anymore. Then I wake up with cramped muscles from balling up into the tiny spot they let me have. Not cool.

    1. Yeah i should have known
      As I curl up each bone
      But oh well
      I get used to their hell haha

  20. Sounds like cat woke up on the wrong side of the bed!

    1. haha or the right side
      As he got up and smiled wide

  21. That was awesome! It's good to meet you, Pat! :)

  22. I can appreciate this poem. I have three of the bed hogging little sods and when I have been working nights I end up trying to sleep in all sorts of contortions.

    1. One more than me
      You really must be cramped at your sea

  23. another grate poemz orlin N cassie....

    we noe yur dad wishes he could write this good !!!


    1. Yeah if only he could
      But he's as dull as a stick of wood

  24. My Daughters cat thinks she owns the place. Chloe will sleep on my Daughters head if she wants to. I like my sleep to much to tolerate it. I would show kitty her new bedroom

    1. haha what a meanie you are
      But yeah those head sleepers are a pain by far

  25. Don't you know by now who is boss??

  26. You flip flopping creep!!! Ha! I'm totally using that next time boyfriend is keeping me awake stealing my precious precious sleep.

    1. Feel free to steal
      May just stop him from flip flopping like a wheel

  27. With a mighty lick, lick,
    Nudge, nudge, and a purr,
    Our cats give me a kick,
    And fill my nose with their fur.
    "Wake up!" they insist.
    "Come play with me."
    I squint at the clock.
    And yep, it's just three.

    1. Yeah they don't know
      What time it is at our show
      Unless they really do
      And just take pleasure in annoying you

  28. My fiancee's cat will always sleep in the most random places.

    He'll try mostly my lap, even he cant' catch a nap

  29. LOL! so true :D there is nothing we,humans can do except adjust that the cats own us and not the other way around ;D :)

    1. That is about the size of it
      We must adjust to fit

  30. it does seem like they are the masters of the kingdom. Cats especially. Mine at least hops off the bed if I move my arm or leg while asleep, thank God she doesn't bite or swat at night, I might wake up with a terrible fright, and a scar or two, that would be so uncool.

    1. Yeah have a scar or ten here
      One even near my rear
      Think it is time to play
      If I move at my bay

  31. That's why dogs are cool. They don't care if you move.

    1. Hmm not always the case
      As they too can give a distaste full face

  32. I sleep with Mouska when she was so little:) now is so big to sleep in my bed! and always she is dirty! but love to sleep down Esperanza bed:)

    1. Yeah dogs sure can make the bed dirty too
      And they take up way more room on you

    2. Mouska still sleep sown Esperanza bed!!

    3. My old dog slept with me for 12 years or so too
      She took up lots of room though at my zoo

  33. Sounds like my dog. I woke up with the worst backache the other day from him. And because of that, he's still spending his nights sleeping in my son's room. By the next time he butters me up for a spot on my bed, he'll know who gets to stretch out and be the most comfy all night!

    1. Bah, back pain sucks a ton
      Hopefully he will know better next time so he doesn't get a shun

  34. My kids want a cat. So hubby had better not see this post. :D

    1. haha yeah better steer clear
      Or may shift gear

  35. I fight this battle every night.
    Mojo puts up quite a fight.
    He wants to share my bed with me.
    I want to sleep and sleep male-free.
    So the cat gets the boot out of my room
    To pay for all who've caused me gloom.
    But he comes back again, that stubborn lad.
    Seems they like the gals who treat 'em bad.


    1. haha must love the game
      Of picking on his dame
      Keep coming back for more
      Thrilled to get an encore

  36. Just doing a little late night reading. Took me forever to get down here Cat. You is on fire these days!

    I'll be in at a decent hour before the week is out.

    Nitey Nite Cat.

    1. Yeah seems to be hopping
      As the rhymes aren't stopping
      And once again you lie
      Saying it would be a week before visiting any other sky haha


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