The Cheap Skate Goes For A Better Rate!

Another of Mary's wants back four months ago was to do things people try to get for free at my show. Damn she was a mouthy one, but gives the cat some more rhyming fun. So let's see what people try and get for free.

Give a yell,
Stomp and scream.
Raise a little hell,
Get a hotel room upgrade like your dream.

A free meal,
Is sure a deal.
Say you will review,
Only works if the owner has a loose screw.

A free ride,
To some far off place.
Stand by the road side,
May get some dust in your face.

Of course free dough,
Many try for at their show.
Wishing on that lottery ticket,
Better off betting on cricket.

Free advertising too,
Is found all around.
Most have no clue,
Ignoring that pleading sound.

Free room and board,
Sure strikes a cord.
In mommy's basement though,
As you line up your action figures in a row.

Free TV.
Of course that doesn't take much.
Is rather easy,
With pirates and such.

Free days off,
You give a fake cough,
And poof a sick day,
Magically takes place at your work bay.

A free toy,
With each crunch.
Oh the joy,
Of having cereal for lunch.

Of course there is sex too,
But that is never free at any zoo.
Always comes with a price,
Might want to think twice.

There was some free that is continually tried by many. Especially the last even if fast might want to watch where things are stuck for free you may walk away with a brand new disease from your umm truck. That is some free advice class from my snip snipped little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.


  1. There's always a hidden price
    When of free you get a slice
    I'd rather take my free
    To see Optimistic climb naked up a tree

    1. hahahaha not sure I'd want to see
      But it sure would amuse me

    2. Well I have quite a fear of high places
      So you won't see me climbing up a tree to see yor laughing faces haha

    3. hahaha need to get over that fear
      If bora bora is every to come near

    4. Yeah yeah this is very true
      Gotta fly to see the Bora Bora ocean blue

    5. Could take a boat too
      But that would be a long trip to come due

  2. Free day can't have enough days off! Thanks for the free advice ..Experience spring, have a save fling! ha

    1. Yeah a free day off is grand
      Unless you are actually sick in the land
      Then not so much
      Would rather work and such

  3. ha, my sister in law is the worst of them all
    seriously wonder why companies blunder knowing she brings the thunder, no pickles on my burger, you better give me free food for a month, so she gets it free and they become the abusee...there are seldom things completely free, but when you find it whoopee!

    1. haha sounds like she is dreaded indeed
      When companies catch her on their feed
      And yeah could find whoopee
      In more ways than one at your sea

  4. Hey I'm a cheapskate!
    So how did I rate
    All this poking at me?
    I'll flip you o'er my knee!
    Oh wait, I try to be giving
    and not muck up other folks living.

    1. Pfft have to catch me first
      And you may get bit with such a burst haha

  5. Good Morning at your sea
    so many things one can get for free
    will they make life more carefree
    hmmm..oft times you see buy one, get one
    getting for free, makes you think you won
    but, have you really when the day is done
    I do like the free day off, so easy with that cough
    but, tomorrow work will be the big catch up for me
    so not so easy to do you see as I am busy as a bee
    I do like to read your feed, so many interesting
    topic to read, excuse me now I really must flee
    as it's off to work for me at my sea..

    PS - Hope the waves of life roll smiles your way..So have a great day!

    1. Good morning too
      Even though afternoon is almost due
      And yeah free is never all it's cracked up to be
      And that buy one get one free
      Is a load of crap
      For they just up the price to fill the gap
      Or up it the week or so before
      That way it will look like a deal at your shore
      pffft to that
      Can't fool the cat
      Hopefully smiles will come
      And then some

    2. You are a wise cat that is a fact
      nothing slips through the cracks
      at your flat, perhaps I should give
      you a pat as we chat so carefree
      or maybe we are just two crazies
      caught in rhyme most of the time
      see what you've done I've come
      undone... laughing

    3. haha that didn't take long
      But then there is nothing wrong
      With being a nut
      At least at my hut
      And the cat likes to chat
      So fun when one comes undone at my mat

  6. Glad I was a mouthy one four months ago
    I have enjoyed my ideas featured at your show
    my best free of late came from the Stir Crazy bay
    the restaurant sent me a free coupon for half birthday
    I have a Panera Card that I use for bagels or coffee
    sometimes it yields also a treat for free
    at Christmas my beautician gave me free conditioner
    of course this was to inspire me to Christmas tip her
    a few weeks ago I changed batteries in smoke alarms
    one new battery defective would have brought me harm
    so I called the battery company which sent a coupon for 8 free
    That definitely made for a happy, happy me!

    1. haha look at you go
      With the free at your show
      Always a catch though
      Like the tip before you go
      Or to keep you happy
      So you don't get flappy
      And say how bad the batteries are
      Spreading it near and far

  7. Sex might not come with strings attached in our house but it's certainly not free!

  8. I haven't used a free day off work in a while
    Perhaps you've given me an idea to use some guile
    I take advantage of free TV
    When my DVR messes up on taping Glee

    *don't judge the Glee part
    I know it's not exactly art

    1. Hmmm I will try not to judge
      But whoopdi friggin doo may give it a nudge
      And have a fun fake sick day
      Away from your work bay

    2. Keith.... Just kidding, of course. It's from your comment of yesterday.

    3. Pfft don't tell him that
      Let him go up the tree stat

    4. No tree climbing for me
      I'll just watch more GLEE

    5. Pfft once more
      Such a shame at your shore

  9. I like to enter contests from bloggers. I used to be able to do it more, but I still win every once in awhile. Gotta pay taxes on them though, so I guess the wins aren't free after all. ;)

    1. Got to pay tax?
      Damn, still steal dough by the sacks

  10. I think the only free thing the world needs is smiles and good behavior. Everything else will follow.

    1. That is true
      But sadly barely ever comes due

  11. Always a price but many try for free

    1. John, I think you and Fran are long lost cousins. Are there any Irish in your background?

    2. Free is the way to be
      But it is a trap that isn't seen by many

  12. I haven't seen a free toy in cereal for a long time. I guess we've been buying the wrong cereals (i.e. the ones no loaded with sugar). Cheerios doesn't need to include toys I guess, since they are a big seller with moms of babies and toddlers.

    1. It has been a while since I seen them too
      Mostly a way to get the crap sold to you
      And cheerios aren't the best
      But better than most of the rest

  13. There ain't no such thing as a free lunch. (I'm reading The Moon is a Harsh Mistress right now, so had to say that.) And, Dude, a sick day sounds like my kind of free play.

    1. Yeah that is a nice free play
      Just don't get caught by your work bay haha

  14. My Hubs always says.... You get what you pay for and he is usually right.

    1. Yep right indeed
      Good way to avoid the free seed

  15. 'The best things in life are free'
    You certainly can't prove that by me.
    It's a dollar here and a dollar there
    A dollar when you catch me at my lair.

    1. Yeah no such thing
      Only ones who chant that are the rich at their wing
      Who can afford the free
      That can't be by you and me

  16. Love nor sex
    are free and
    are not
    meant to be.

    For sacred
    are they and
    a roll in the hay
    of value it has none.

    Old fashioned you say
    not hip today
    no modern am not I.

    The whole free love movement was a complete farce and just turned women into whores and men into rakes. Not to mention everyone having to support millions of children of irresponsible women with babies by 5 different men. Yeah, free love is costing society loads of money.

    Now I have to wonder how many people will hate me because I expressed an unpopular opinion on your blog. Oh well, won't be the first time.

    1. haha oh be fun to stir stuff up
      Whether human cat or pup
      Bet none will take the bait though
      But yeah I agree at my show
      At the point now
      Where i may give a pretend meow
      But a roll in the hay
      isn't as thrilling at my bay
      Plus you risk much too
      So better off pleasing yourself until a good one finds you LOL

    2. I spent a lot of lonely nights because I wouldn't put out. And it wasn't just about religion either, it was about respecting myself. I grew up hanging out with boys and know exactly what they think of easy women. No way was I going to be one of those girls they used and then made fun of.

      You've got the right of it Cat, better to take care of your needs yourself until the right one comes along.

    3. Yeah many fail to see what guys really think
      Of those who give it up easy at their rink
      Best way to be
      Then there is also no disease or unwanted pregnancy

  17. Well, I do get a free lunch, now and then. But I've found that most things touted free still have a price tag trailing behind. If I want something free I stick with a walk around the ranch in the sunshine. :-)

    That's quite a talented cat you have there Pat!


    1. Yeah that price tag is still there
      Many aren't aware
      That isn't a bad free
      Walk around with glee
      The cat does think he is the cat's meow
      As away he rhymes and takes a bow

  18. My parents always say,
    "Nothing in life is free
    and if it is to good to be true, walk away"
    Lucy has learned the hard way to see.

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    1. haha walk away is the best way
      To avoid a scammer at play

  19. We believe you get what you pay for
    it's a slightly different angle
    on the good point you just made.

    I was trying for a rhyme but I blew it this time!


    1. Yeah different in a way
      But still the same at the end of the day

  20. Free, um, ain't always -- or mostly free. Free may seem free, but there's a hidden cost somewhere.

    I guess breathing is free.

    1. But then you breath in the smog
      Can't even say it is free to blog

  21. Well cat, it's your lucky day. You get something for free! You're the winner of one of the Amazon gift cards from my drawing! Just shoot me an email at and let me know which litter box to send it to. ;)

    1. I win you say
      That makes my day
      But what's the catch?
      Do I have to play fetch? lol

  22. The thing about this post that is the best (could be the worst maybe now I think about it), is that it's made me realise just how dumb I am buying lottery tickets, it really is like handing them free money and they say nothing comes free haha. Great and eye opening post as usual Pat, with a little bit of your trademark wit and cynicism.

    1. Yeah that thing is rigged anyway
      At each and every bay
      It is a dumb thing to do
      But then you can't win if you never try at your zoo
      One here and there isn't bad
      I do it every so often at my pad

  23. Oh I disagree. Come here to the good old USA. If you are a lazy, self entitled bum you get lots of stuff for free. Healthcare, food, rent, schooling, welfare checks. My siblings have made a pretty good life with the free they get from our government. Of course my husband and I pay for them to have all of that, but they certainly do enjoy some pretty nice freebies along with millions of others society leeches.

    1. Hmmmm well sounds like a free ride
      I guess the US has a free guide
      As bums get wider on the couch
      As away they pouch

  24. If it's free, isn't it usually worth the same amount?

    Yeah, I am a grumpy grump!

    1. Grumpy grump you may be
      But truth indeed from thee

  25. orlin N cassie...we make free dee positz in de litter box everee day...

    we keep tellin de food service purrson ta think of it az like buried treasure



    1. haha yep we let them go all Indiana Jones too
      And dig away at our zoo

  26. Sorry, I got distracted with the free meal!

    1. Beware the free meal
      It could be a rotten deal

  27. Beware of what you get for free
    those things are never meant to be,
    except perchance for love maybe
    and such a lovely mystery!

    1. Yeah love would be nice
      Or some free mice
      But then if you accept it
      It could also be meant to be a bit

  28. I'm afraid sex is never free or freely given:C

    1. Yeah always a catch
      An something you have to fetch

  29. There are still some things free
    that don't cost a cent.
    Like when I dry my clothes
    I have all that free lint.
    And in my garden
    where I plant my seeds,
    along with my herbs,
    I get all those free weeds.
    One thing I noticed,
    and this is a must...
    If I don't wipe down
    my floors and furniture,
    I get tons and tons
    of free dust!!!

    Now sex whether free
    or even at cost,
    At my age I've had enough
    So fellas' get lost...LOL

    1. That free stuff
      Puts my ocd in a huff
      It sure has to go
      Especially dust at ones show
      But it is always around
      And can be found
      LOL not a chance for any fellow
      Even if he brings you a floor so yellow?

    2. Now if he wants to talk
      I will not balk.
      But if he wants to play
      the answer is "nay"!

    3. haha so a talk and a walk
      But any further you balk

  30. Dear Pat, for the past 23 years I've been caught up in the lottery deal of spending a dollar--so not totally free, but almost--in order to win a jackpot!!! I know its idiocy, but hope springs eternal you know. Peace.

    1. Yeah you can't win if you don't play
      Just don't ban on winning at your bay

  31. Vicious cycle of Free..
    sometimes offers are too enticing to ignore :P

    1. Yeah they don't make them bore
      Then they wouldn't sell any at their shore

  32. I am still buying lottery tickets as part of the group
    But no free stuff yet to win for all the troops
    And cereals for lunch, no way
    I would rather have sandwich any day ~

    1. haha yeah avoid the cereal crap
      Not lied by this chap
      With the gluten garbage within
      Maybe one day you will win at your bin

  33. All you say is true
    But not everything costs at my zoo
    As mentioned above
    Dust and weeds are freer than love
    But also smiles, without expectation
    May be found all over the nation
    Random kindness finds a lair
    Sometimes even a hug finds a share
    Friendship, too, comes without due
    When it's true bluer than blue

    1. Depends on the friend
      For such a trend
      One could be a peach
      Then another a leech
      But yeah plenty is free
      Yet it could come with a price still at ones sea

  34. Nothing is free, I must agree
    A free lunch filled with indigestion
    Whatever it is, there's a price to be paid
    Watch out is my only suggestion

    1. Yeah just run away
      Indigestion sucks any day

  35. When I was a lad we used to go
    to the French Bakery to get free dough.
    Why was it free? Was something remiss?
    Could it have been they smelled like cat piss?

    Sorry cat.

    1. I hope you never ate it
      If it smelled like a litter pit

  36. Yeah. Free advice. Usually comes with cost we can't see.

    1. Yeah always comes with a price
      Rather go eat mice

  37. Cheapskate pays twice
    might gets lucky sometimes
    crossing bridge over 'creek'
    karmic debts earns for free...

    1. Don't want to mess with those debts
      Not these pets

  38. If I faked it cough, it would not be a winner.
    People around here would still ask, "What's for dinner?"

  39. Glad the cat is feeling better
    Hope he's again become a litter wetter.

    1. haha wetter in more ways that one
      As he has the diarrhea now under my sun

  40. I love that you rhymed TV with easy. Fantastic!

  41. Even free stuff has a price!

  42. I get a lot of free meals at IHOP

    those free coupons are never stopped


    1. haha well way to work the coupon
      Getting them from sites like groupon

  43. It's true that sex is never free
    Nor is healthcare in this "free" country
    Except random cases of emergency
    Such as when one is about to die
    When they live (or not), though, they get bills sky-high
    This nobody could deny
    My social worker's coming out, I'm not sure why
    I just hate hatred towards the poor
    It makes me want to cry.
    All should be privy to the pie.
    Maybe I'll steal Adam's coupons - that'd be sly.
    I'd declare pancakes for all
    Except those who for whom an IHOP they could buy.
    I'll end now with a heavy sigh
    And thoughts of a big and hearty chocolate mousse pie.


    1. Yeah you guys are backasswards down there
      With your health care
      Maybe if all was like IHOP
      It wouldn't be such a flop

  44. No free lunch these days
    Is an accepted norm really
    Not to expect, any other way
    Just play it nice and easy


    1. Yeah the way to be
      Things don't get passed us if we take it easy

  45. Technically the money I make off my blog is free except for the time I put into it.

    Ok, I guess it isn't that free. :(

    1. Yeah time is not free
      It gets sucked away but nice to make money

  46. Sometimes free is good...sometimes not so good it seems.

    1. Yeah depends on where
      It comes from at your lair

  47. Have you seen the You Tube video of the guy who offers free hugs? Do you suppose hugging him might get you bugs?

    1. Hugging him would scare me
      Rather deal with a flea

  48. Free bugs in you tea.
    Sounds like a good deal to me.


Post a Comment