An Alternate Way To Think At Your Bay!

So the cat was thinking the other day as he saw some discussion on alternate reality at some other bay. That somewhere out there in some alternate lair, there is a me that can't rhyme. That is such a crime.

There is a me that can really talk.
There is a Brian that doesn't gawk.
There is a Betsy with all dogs,
There is a Keepin It Real Folks who lives in logs.

Oh wait,
That is her fate.
All hick and stuff,
Whoops, I've said enough.

There is a you that is ten feet tall.
A you that can stick to a wall.
A you that is a psycho killer.
A you that made a video like Thriller.

To dance and prance,
And get a glance.
In some spandex,
Might just convex.

An Adam that is short.
An Anne that is from a Japanese court.
A farawayeyes that is not far away,
And an old one eye who actually has two on display.

Wait! That is a lie.
In no sky.
Could she have two eyes,
Maybe there is a land where she doesn't get scared cries.

Could live where the North Koreans rule.
Dinosaurs could still be around to drool.
Aliens could actually have shown.
A tasty treat could be a dog bone.

Could be a place where Hank always gets last.
Where humbird's humming is a thing of the past.
Where Brian the cat,
Does not have a fancy hat.

Where Sherry doesn't make people feel ill,
From having to look at her duck bill.
Where Waffles is now a pop tart.
And where Mary has donkeys instead of dogs at her cart.

Where optimistic is pessimistic all day.
And Manzanita likes those doctors at her bay.
Or where My Journey With Candida is on another journey,
Like on her way to a demoltion derby tourney.

Where Alex ditched the ninja and became a cheerleader at his sea.
Where Trudessa told her other self to take a hike and robbed a bank with glee.
Where Rosey was really a witch,
And Theresa had an eternal itch.

My where things could go,
Should an alternate reality show.
Maybe you could even be a real live Batman.
The cat would even pretend to be your number one fan.

Tons of things could come due if the alternate reality is true. And why not? If a human mind can think of it there has to be something to the lot. Not sure I'd step through though if one were to show. Could screw up the whole time space continuum or something like that. Then everyone would perish thanks to a rhyming cat. So we won't let that come to pass. Would want all to curse eternally my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.


  1. Replies
    1. This has to be the closest one EVER

    2. You 2 have really been trigger happy.... Hank always last and Pop Tart. Hahaha... Fun post.

    3. haha going at it each day
      Hank must be swearing at waffles at his bay

  2. "I see Matt purring like a cat because he got first comment on Pat, Hatt's blog." My brother walks into my room and delivers that line haha after I tell him how happy I am to be first again.

    On a more important note I love this post Pat, so good to see the contrasts although a world where I have to eat pop tarts instead of waffles is not an appealing one! The thought of Alex becoming a cheerleader is a funny one though saying that, the only thing really bad about this alternate world would be under ruling to North Korea, that would suck in all seriousness, great post mate.

    1. Yeah that would surely suck
      We'd all be out of luck
      And lol you actually purr when you win?
      I'll have to use that at my bin

  3. Where else everything's nicely rhyme
    Special treat and that's not a crime
    Pat is there
    At his lair
    Faithfully rhyming away daily in time


    1. A limerick once more
      Here at my shore
      Fine by me
      As I rhyme with glee
      And best of all, I don't snore

  4. Much could occur if such a thing exists

  5. I think about this all the time
    Possibly so possible...
    it may be why I cannot rhyme.

    Thank you for being you Pat.
    You are so insightful.

    1. Insightful I can try to be
      Here at my sea
      And yeah anything is possible I suppose
      As the imagination grows

  6. Replies
    1. haha be bigger than a tree
      Watch where you pee

  7. There's a me that's slim
    somewhere out there
    I hope and care
    but I doubt it
    the git!

    1. haha you just never know
      Maybe you can find his secret and use it at your show

  8. Imagination is something that we mostly use in the wrong way. I would rather think logically than the needless daydreaming and pessimistic thoughts I have to deal with. A funny take on the issue sure makes things light!

    1. but logic never lets one see the light
      As they ignore it and bitch and fight

  9. ha i have a treat, a chance to meet
    the pat de hatt from another mat
    & i snapped a pic---

    you will have to see at my sea

    and maybe i can be batman then
    cause he's def my fav
    it could be a crisis on infinite earth
    and then wonder how we'd fix what we birthed

    1. Uh Oh, Should I be worried at your show?
      Getting me back for every flow
      That the gawker got at my show?
      haha should be fun to see my twin all aglow
      Yeah could go all crisis I suppose
      Fighting ourselves though could cause woes

  10. Oh so much to think about today
    You said so much at your bay
    Although I talk a good game
    That's really just to bring me fame
    I don't wanna live in a bunch of logs
    That would attract critters like frogs
    I'll stick with a house made of bricks
    That way I can keep out the redneck hicks!

    1. haha yeah the personna we use
      To light the blog fuse
      Could hold on to an extra brick too
      And beat any back that try to get in to bother you

  11. Hi! Pat Hatt, Miss Priss, and The Cat...
    What a wonderful thing to ponder... It do make one wonder... What would happen if something that you never
    do all Of a sudden came true!
    Wake up the Cat...Because as real as it seems... Please believe me it was only a dream! heh!heh!
    deedee :)

    1. The stream
      May not be a dream
      As things are there and here
      Could cause brain fear

    2. Hi! Pat Hatt...[I'm out Of rhyming mode...]
      I don't know enough about the Alternate Universe, but I did a little research.
      Alternate Universe

      I most definitely, agree with your quote here---> "The stream May not be a dream..."

      And after skimming the article, I must admit that's kind Of scary...Make me want to run & hide if I'm force to see the other side.

    3. There is much out there
      Of which we are unaware
      Be interesting to see
      But can be scary

  12. These are my favorite posts at your bay
    Referencing your readers with wordplay
    But I cannot imagine a Pat that doesn't rhyme
    Somehow that sounds like a crime

    1. That would be a crime
      But at least no Pat should be a mime
      That would be scary indeed
      And have to blow that really away with some nuke deed

  13. Orrrrrrrrr, the alternate reality, could be exactly like this one!!!!!!!! Double the rhyming!!!!!!!

    1. Could be indeed
      Rhyming up quite the storm at ones feed

  14. I hope I'm rich in that alternate reality... I can't even rhyme anymore...

    1. Go steal from yourself
      Then you could be rich too at your shelf

  15. LOL, a Mary with donkeys would indeed be quite a sight
    in an alternate reality which could be quite a fright!
    Actuality the real reality is often scary enough
    without alternate things adding to the fluff!!

    1. Yeah the one we have now
      Can really take a scary bow
      But donkeys could be fun
      You'd always have an ass to make fun off under your sun

  16. They say everyone has a twin
    so let the fantasy begin!
    But I'm really glad I don't have dogs
    Can you imagine my stinky yard with all those um, logs?

    1. haha and who went there
      This time at my lair?
      Is your twin rubbing off on you?
      Next ass and gas will come due

    2. well we were talking about twins
      although that is the extent of this whim
      no other crude words will cross my lips
      I'll leave that to the gawker and you, so hip.

    3. Oh I'll wait for the day
      When a crude word comes to play
      You will slip up
      Not having enough coffee in your cup

    4. lol...well, bathroom words aren't really my thing
      but if you make me mad, your ears might ring!
      hahahaha. But, you'd have to make me really livid
      cuz I'm fairly easy going and don't flip my lid.

    5. hahaha Oh I could push a button or ten
      I'm good at that at my den

    6. and I believe you!
      just seems like something you would do!

    7. Yep do it all the time
      If I only had a dime

  17. Ewwww. Dinosaur drool. That's like the worse. You could drown in the stuff. :P

    1. haha yeah like a car wash for people of sorts
      Could use it to clean basketball courts

  18. LOL Cat...That is so clever, thru and thru
    To put us at another zoo
    But truth be told, I've thought the same
    If we'd been different, who to blame
    You make us see and love our station
    By comparing it to another nation

    1. Oh just wait until Friday
      Many will be on display
      Including little old you
      But yeah this one was fun to do
      The grass is always greener
      Until you go and find things aren't cleaner

  19. Ohhh ohhhh witchy woman... that's all I know (lyrics), lol. If I get to be a witch I want to be a hot one like the gal in the new Oz movie. That'd shave a few hundred years off too... I like that. :)

    1. haha that is all I know too
      Could get on your broomstick and give the kiddies at halloween a good boo

  20. I dont want an opimistic be pesimist oh no! and Betsy I think is for these cats LOL well anyawy is crazy and funny I dont want ask what would I make haha!"

    1. haha you are still buried at my sea
      No matter the reality

  21. That was fun, especially when I realized you weren't just throwing out random names. :D

    1. Yep many who come
      Get tortured by my little rhyming bum

  22. Tis not an alternate universe. My two eyes are every day at my land and they are truly grand!

    1. Pfft such denial
      Turn down the pity me dial lol

  23. Well now you've got me thinking
    Of all the things I miss
    To see the cat as a dog right here
    Would surely be much bliss

    lol - Thanks for another fun rhyme, Pat:)

    1. haha pfft no dogs allowed
      The cat doesn't want to join the butt sniffing crowd

  24. HA! I guess me without my hat is better than my Dad in spandex!!!!!

  25. North Koreans rule? I rather not experience that alternate reality EVER, that guy is nuts. I mean hanging with Dennis Rodman says it all.

    Lucy Lucy's Reality

    1. Yeah he is one big whack job
      Better off being ruled by Bob

  26. I don't think a cat would ever be a fan of Batman, it just doesn't seem right.

  27. 5'11 isn't short

    unless in a NBA court

    1. That is why you would shrink
      In an alternate reality rink

  28. Post and comments made me laugh Pat
    I saw your picture over at Brian's mat

    Enjoy the last days of spring ~

    1. haha Brian showing me off at his sea
      Damn gawker revealing little old me haha

  29. Alex ditch the ninja to become a cheerleader. *snort-laughs* I'd love to see that happen. I bet you he'd make a good cheerleader though. He always seems to find a way to rock at everything.

    1. haha that would be fun to see
      Sure he would cheer with glee

  30. Hank would not be happy if he wasn't number one! And Alex as a cheerleader? Oh my! (This duck bill thing is going to haunt me for the rest of my life, isn't it? LOL!)

    1. Yeah Hank needs his number one
      hahaha once a name sticks the cat continues to give it a run
      Must like old one eye, the gawker and numb tongue
      That bell has been rung

  31. Another day in the land of Patt's play! Thanks for the time!

  32. orlin N cassie...we hope like ba jezuz N hell if ther bee another trout towne out ther they iz knot burd loverz....ok, now we just gived R selves nite mares N itz still day....

    hay, haza wild whitefish wednesday !! :)

    1. haha trout towne that loves burds
      You'd be lost for words

  33. Dear Pat, I've been away from reading and commenting on blogs for nearly three weeks and I've missed your rhymes and your delightful nonsensical way of viewing life. The alternate universe you've given us in this set of rhymes is one that made me think also of unlikelihoods. I'd so like you to do another on an alternate universe--maybe a universe without a certain color or without a certain word. Whatever! You're the innovative one. Peace.

    1. A break from blogland is fine
      Can relax unlike the feline
      And yeah without a certain word or saying
      Would be quite different as with the colors displaying

  34. I want to go to my alternate universe NOW! Lol

    1. haha may not be grand
      If you have 3 eyeballs in alternate universe land

  35. Wow, found you over at Brian's. You are very cool and your words are terrific.

  36. Great post Pat!! LOL... Witchy Rosey, ...and I wonder where that eternal itch is that Thereasa might have. Manzi and Doctors... NEVER!!

    1. haha hmmm do we want to know
      Where the itch is at her show?

  37. I don't know if I can believe that there is another me
    But if there is then I'm certain that he would be

    still overwhelmingly snarky
    and about politics rather too barky

    He no doubt also can't dance
    even when alcohol gives him his best chance

    He can't sing worth a damn
    But he can quote from Green Eggs and Ham

    He probably likes to blog
    He probably likes to snog

    Hopefully he's better looking than me
    Hopefully he's become everything he wanted to be

    I hope this is so
    But there's no way I can know

    So now if you'll excuse me I have to go let in the cat.

    1. Look at you go
      With quite the flow
      I'm sure if you search high and low
      You may find him wrapped in a bow
      Or maybe rolled up in a mat
      Better just let in the cat

  38. I've just read a very scary book about the North Koreans rule, "the somethingorother Sun"
    Brain fade, I'll remember soon,
    They did some digging and kidnapping
    And at book club I admitted I gaveuponit...

    1. haha no wonder you gave up on it
      Sounds like it wasn't a hit
      Just a scare tactic indeed
      About what they do at their feed

  39. Frankly, this reality suits just fine.
    I know there are others who cry and whine,
    but for me, an alternate reality skirts a line.
    I don't want to be Batman or President Obama.
    I don't need all that alternative drama.

    VR Barkowski

    1. Batman may be fun
      But Obama under any sun
      No thank you
      I'll stay here at my zoo

  40. I'm sure there are different realities,
    Either thrilling or filled with banalities.
    But I for one really don't care,
    Unless you can tell how to get there!

    1. It is easy to get there
      Just wait for a solar flare
      Then be in the right spot
      And connect each dot

  41. This post is too funny today
    so many of us on display
    or should I say our alternatives least you didn't
    turn us into elves..
    what would I do without my
    other self..then I would
    be by myself..she keeps
    me in balance you see
    Now, this cat wants to get
    her in trouble at his sea
    robbing banks is not for me
    but, fleeing with glee
    sounds good to free
    as we lay around Bora Bora beach
    you put a new twist upon
    today's made
    us all do a flip..
    thanks for the laugh
    it was a much
    fun under your sun...

    what is that cat up to on Friday???

    Wishing Pat and his cats a great night under the lights..sleep tight my friends..

    Oh cat, saw your picture over at Brian's place too darn funny

    1. Oh wouldn't you like to know
      what Friday will show
      There will be much on display
      And not even tons of rhyme as that would be far too long at my bay
      So whoopdi friggin doo will have some fun
      While the cat lies under the sun
      And you need to let your inner bad girl free
      And rob a bank with me
      Then to bora bora we can flee
      That will cause glee
      The end justifies the means?
      They have insurance at their scenes lol

    2. Oh yes, I would like to know
      what you will display at your show
      I'm sure whatever you've plan
      it will be grand in your playful land
      until, then I wait in anticipation

      Let my inner bad girl free..(lol)
      to bora bora we will flee..

    3. Yeah let her fly
      Then we can fly the sky
      To bora bora we will go
      And can come back when the statute of limitations runs out at our show

  42. Good one, Pat. I love the concept of alternate realities. I trust I've got some best sellers on the other side. Heh heh.

  43. Wow! We'd love to meet some of these alternates! We just can't imagine Brian without his hat though! Or Pat without his rhymes. We'd like to know if Pat talks to his boss that way, and what the boss thinks of it?

    1. haha if he talked to his boss that way
      He may be home to stay

  44. Oh, scary timing
    in the alternative world
    I'm maybe plumbing?
    I keep the wipes
    to plug the pipes
    with soothing water humming...

    1. So you show a plumbers crack
      In an alternate reality shack? lol

  45. Speaking of alternate realities, maybe that's why the Human liked FRINGE so much! Dr. Bishop rocked her world!

    1. That was a great show
      One all should give a go

  46. I wouldn't mind sticking to a wall, as a spider. A black widow perhaps, so I could be a serial killer too :)


    1. Hmmm you are a scary one
      Under your alternate sun

  47. Alternate Reality.. hehe I was watching Fringe.. before reading this :P
    Could be a place where Hank always gets last....
    hehe that was funniest :P

    1. haha Hank number 100 each day
      That would be fun to see at my bay

  48. If Poptarts were waffles, I think my kids would die.

    And I feel sorry for the other me with her itch. Living with that must really be a bitch!

  49. I always wake up in the wrong alternate universe. Can't find my DeLorean either. Sherry makes people feel ill? That's why I'm sticking to my bourbon. I think you are a real live Batman. I've got proof. Where? What do you mean 'where'? ;)

    1. haha a real life batman you say
      I bet that is at your grumpy bay

  50. So much I'm getting to know
    About the readers at your show
    Fun to guess a time or two
    Who is that and who is who

    1. After a while
      You'll find them out of each rhyming pile


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