Too Rare For The Air!

The other day the cat saw some weirdo thinking they could get their sharp thingy mabob on a plane. Maybe they thought they were going on a train? Either way they had to leave it at their bay. But let's see what else was tried by the crazy.

A cell phone stun gun,
Was given a run.
But it did not fly across the map,
For it wasn't the correct app.

A spear gun was giving a run.
I guess fishing in the sky is fun.
Stealing fish from a birds mouth,
As you head south.

An ancient cannonball,
That wasn't too tall.
Guess it could still go boom,
So it caused much gloom.

Real live land mines,
Those scare felines.
Digging in the sand is no fun,
When you can go boom under the sun.

A Bazooka round,
Was found on the ground.
I guess they wanted to shoot a tank.
I wonder if their bazooka had a crank?

Snakes on a plane,
Almost came like rain.
About 95 or so,
Just wanted to slither around by your toe.

44 geckos in your pants.
They must squirm worse than ants.
But to each their own.
I guess he wanted to throw them a bone?

Of course there was the whole Weekend at Bernies wannabe,
With a dead woman in a wheelchair trying to fly for free.
Or maybe they did pay.
It didn't work either way.

Not satisfied with a crocodile handbag,
Or dressing in drag.
He put a crocodile in a handbag.
Sadly, not a gag.

And a tiger cub hidden away,
Among stuffed tiger toys on display.
I guess where's waldo is good after all,
Helping to spot the real tiger in the airport hall.

There we go with my airplane flow. Don't they know hiding things in pants will just make your full moon show? Not to mention a hand my traverse that land. Or maybe they are numb from geckos crawling around their bum. Either way what a class but very amusing to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.


  1. It's crazy the things that people try to get onto planes that they don't get away with, even the spork is endangered more than pork. Reminds me of the time my grandma got stopped by customs in America for having an apple in her bag that she brought over from Northern Ireland. Really she just wanted to eat the apple on the plane but wasn't hungry

    1. haha a killer apple could cause so much pain
      It could litter the poor plane

  2. Not easy to manoever in the air
    Just a small space none to spare
    When it' successful
    And stewards fooled
    They're not in the mood to be fair


    1. Yeah they are pissed
      Finding something the missed
      So away they go
      Feeling high and low
      To check off their list

  3. I used to fly very often but haven't flown in about a year or so. I have had a hip replacement so when I go through the machine, I always set it off and then they have to do the hand search. Such a PITA

    1. Don't like getting felt up high and low?
      If they grab your butt it is a literal pain in the ass I suppose at your show lol

  4. I'd take a cane
    On the plane
    And beat the fool
    That's acting like a mule
    Bringing a croc
    Wat da faq?

    I've never been on a plane

    1. Not sure you'd have room to swing
      In such a circus ring
      But you could try
      Just don't fall out of the sky

  5. All those ways are mighty fair
    To sneak more objects in the air
    44 geckos in the pants
    Who's counting, Oh, it's only Lance
    Also count snakes to 95
    Something that is not so jive

    1. Yeah they had to sit and count everyone
      That must have not been fun
      Especially if they try and bite
      Would be quite the interesting flight

  6. Crazy!!! One time I was returning from a trip of a lifetime from Italy and had a hand painted snowglobe for my son. That's all he wanted as a souvenir. Snowglobes are against the rules and they made me leave it behind. I stood there blubbering like a complete idiot.

    1. Never knew they were against the rules
      What a bunch of fools
      Should have mailed it to yourself
      And gave them the finger at their security shelf

  7. 44 geckos in the pants,
    even the lonely should get a chance
    to dance, er....
    whole new meaning to drain the lizards
    dont take pineapple cans
    they are not a fan at all...

    1. haha drain the lizard
      Could create of blizzard
      Or creatures from the nether regions
      Crawling out in legions

  8. Glad I don't fly , any more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Yeah such a pain in the ass
      For a flight to come to pass

    2. So no need for me to wrap that private jet for you?

    3. Pfft you just lie
      Can't even get into the sky haha

    4. Would I lie to thy (I mean thee)?
      Who moi or do you mean me?
      So many questions and still no freaking jet
      Oh it can fly alright... you wanna bet?

    5. Yeah i wanna bet
      You'll make me a rich pet

  9. We can't take a full bottle of Shampoo!
    And these idiots try snakes,what fools.

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    1. haha there will always be one
      In the crowd that is an idiot by a ton

  10. Flying with flair
    in the air, without a care
    until, you go through the
    x-ray machine..then they'll
    see all so beware...

    I flew recently and had
    a little designer tag
    on my pants and was
    pulled aside..they
    thought I had something
    to hide.

    They showed me the pic
    said they would have to
    pat me down..I mean
    not on the outside
    on the inside of my
    pants..I should have
    asked for a gown..
    I felt like a clown
    of course nothing
    was found..just a tag
    the size of a dime
    that was my crime
    and a big waste of time..

    well, at least my co-worker
    had a good we
    flew out of town...

    1. hahahaha go to the airport with a tag
      And you won't have to nag
      Can get felt up for free
      Not even a first date is needed by thee hahaha

      Yeah they sea all with those machines
      But doesn't bother me what they see on the screens
      You've seen one ass you've seen them all
      Just some are big and some are small
      Now if they ever wanted to stick a hand
      Up there in my land
      Then I'd tell them to pound sand
      Isn't flying grand

    2. The perils of flying...
      well, at least it was
      just the waistband area
      but, still felt my
      privacy invaded..

      too funny the way
      you put it..but,
      really think about it
      strangers touching you


    3. As long as they don't squirm
      Around like worms
      And put gloves on so I get no germs
      And there is no into places which break terms
      Pfft I say
      Let them cop a feel so I can be on my way
      I suppose it may be different for a female though
      As there are plenty of dirty old men at the airport show

    4. Well, I guess it is better
      that they are checking
      because then we can fly
      the sky with a bit of ease
      as you never know
      what one has at their show
      do what you need
      so I can be on my
      way..hopefully without
      a that
      really gets in my way
      or when you have to run
      across the airport to get
      to the other gate..because
      they decided to switch bays
      that can really ruin a day

    5. Yeah and with all the people in the way
      Going from bay to bay
      Sure can't run very fast
      shut a delightful cast
      But if you don't want to drive
      Or hop on a bee hive
      I guess have to put up with it
      I could rhyme something there but i will avoid that bit lol

  11. what were ancient cannonballs fired by?

    A large slingshot with a range of the sky?

    1. You should know. You're Factman. He's just the Batcat.

    2. Maybe taken up in a hot air balloon
      The pitched out by a baboon

  12. I imagine the security screeners all have some stories to tell. ;)

    Happy weekend!!

    1. Yeah they probably have a ton
      To give a run

  13. Forty-four geckos? Why? I wonder what Geico would say about that?

    1. Probably try and sell travel insurance or something like that
      In case geckos squashed you flat

  14. I have no idea what the post was about. From the comments, it looks like it was about planes and movies about planes. I hope I am right :-)

    1. haha nope wrong
      But we will pretend and sing along

  15. Pffttt! Dont worry me many times I dont take a plane:)))

    1. Pat, is Gloria saying Pffttt again?

    2. Pfffting at my bay
      It has caught on i say

    3. And that's not all look at me
      When will your rhyme bug set me free?

    4. Never ever
      You are caught in this endeavor

  16. I've never flown from here to there,
    it sure sounds dangerous to be in the air!
    But even on the ground it's all to true,
    there's danger someone will try to hurt you!
    Some of these people have no common sense
    try to get away with something so dense!
    We must move on with life, they say,
    and take our chances along-the-way :}

    1. Yeah that we must due
      A poopsickle could fall from the sky and kill you
      Just have to hope
      Won't get crushed by a dope
      And be on our merry way
      Each and every day

  17. weekend at bernies wannabe
    at various times in this life that has been me
    until rigor mortis sets in i'd appear fresh and paid
    avoiding conversation and leering behind shades
    i so think it would be challenging to make kitchen raids
    but the spirit is hardy
    sounds like a good way to get through a massive party

    1. Yeah it would be a good way
      To avoid the drunks on display
      And then just smile all the time
      Pretending all is sublime

  18. My mother and my sis and I went to Europe in 1970 or so. My mom found a really cool giant pinecone somewhere. She was a gardener and flower arranger. She loved that big pinecone!
    Of course we got stopped at customs arriving back in the States, but things were different then. They watched her carefully for about an hour (or TWO!) as she removed every single seed from the pine cone, then they waved us through.
    That is right,
    My Mom was a cow for the pinecone traders!!! jean

    1. hahaha pinecone trading must have an underground
      First time I've heard it come around

  19. 44 geckos in your pants.... I wonder that feels like.

    1. I don't even want to know
      You can give it a go

    2. I might just give it a try
      Blueberries... goodbye :(

    3. haha may end up snip snip
      If they get a grip

    4. I'd punch them on the lip
      and make them flip

    5. haha they may bite
      If caught in their sight

  20. oh my goodness...i would never manage to fit a crocodile into my handbag..ha..crazy world, isn't it..

  21. Its funny what what people will do & complain
    to ride for free in a plane
    I would rather sit back and pray
    I don't see any tigers or animals around the place ~

    1. Yeah no tigers lions of bears
      To give an oh my and get stares haha

  22. I'm just glad I don't wear pants!

  23. They search me for "too much" shampoo
    But bazookas, geckos, and land mines too?
    What is this world coming to
    When fools try flying with a zoo
    Yet I have to fly without shampoo?


    1. haha poor poor you
      Stuck without shampoo
      Whatever will you do
      Become a member of the flight crew?

  24. A baby crock?
    Now that just rocks!
    I want one at my zoo.
    Could grow it huge, too!

    1. The cats would be chow
      Better off with bow wow

  25. This story is true
    Airport Vancouver and out of the blue
    Security guy checks my bag and begins to mutter
    Eh there buddy must take away your peanut butter
    Moisture in the jar was a worry
    Could be used as a weapon to make you scurry.

    1. A peanut butter fiend you are
      Have to leave it in the car
      Can't take it far
      Try a mars bar

  26. I took some thingy mabob on a plane,
    wait, no, it was on the train,
    and we played whole day,
    but for air it's rare...

    1. Trains are easier to take
      Stuff planes would pitch in a lake

  27. All of these things really occurred?
    This blows my mind for sure
    A TSA agent could write a helluva memoir
    While they sip wine on their Armoire

    1. That the could
      And yep all happened at an airport hood

  28. Thanks to Gods they are rare.. :D

  29. I recall reading about various dead people flying, some women sued because this guy died right next to her and they flight crew would not move her.
    And they had that teenage girl last week, this dirty old man was fapping opposite her.
    Basically air flights are New York Subways now.

    I saw a dutch person try to get three giant sized bottles of vodka on a plane once.

    1. hahaha wow I never knew it was that bad
      I hope she won the lawsuit at her pad

  30. Amazes me the foolishness of people, wait, no it doesn't

    1. haha yeah not amazed at all
      Either at my hall

  31. Guess ants in ones pants is so last year

  32. gets me in the mood for flying today!

    apparently you also can't bring too many lighters, and a wet umbrella...oh well

    1. haha a wet umbrella you say
      That is a new one at my bay

  33. I've only been on a plane once. Thankfully none of the above wacko people mentioned above was riding with us that day. However, there was a little old lady ferociously trying to stuff her dog carrier under the seat so her dog wouldn't have to ride below the plane. Poor dog was probably flat as a pancake by the time that flight was over!

    1. hahaha well it was probably still safer than down below
      There under the seat in a row

  34. Can I take my knitting needles on the plane? :)


Post a Comment