A News Cruise!

Today at my zoo the cat is going to help all of you. That is right for once at my site I will help all of you. For today much news is going to come do. The cat snuck into a Hollywood newsroom and will be the first to bring you all the Hollywood gloom. So just seated back and get ready for a heart attack.

Planet of the dogs is next on the list,
It is sure one not to be missed.
But I hear the producers got pissed,
When the fire hydrants they missed.

Stargate is coming back to TV,
That is right you heard it from little old me.
They had a solar flare,
And now they are filming them all again at their lair.

This one is hot off the presses,
It could leave your underwear in messes.
There will be another thousand remakes this year,
Doesn't that make you clench your rear?

But forget about that,
For it is time to step up to bat.
With Major League four,
The retirement home tour.

And you better save your loonies,
For there is going to be more Goonies.
Just pop in your DVD,
And there they are to see.

Next should be a fun one,
As Gibson goes crazy under the sun.
He talks to his friend in a shoe,
I guess it beats talking to a loo.

And for all of you lovers of reality TV,
I hope a special place in Hell is reserved for thee.
But that is neither here nor there,
Four girls go to jail will soon be coming to your lair.

Wait you get that anyway?
Those damn celebrities ruin everything at my bay.
But from kids star to behind the bar,
May very well go far.

Gremlins versus Critters are up next,
I just got the text.
I wonder if the Critters will play by the rules,
Which make the gremlins look like fools.

Now now don't go away,
There will be plenty more on display.
But if you want more news,
You have to pay your ticket dues.

What? The cat has to earn a living, for this great news you should be giving. What? You don't agree with little old me? I guess I will have to send you a flea. Then when you murder the poor flea you can go to jail and be on reality TV. But if you are a dog you will have to wear wig. At least I didn't pull a Deliverance and say act like a pig. And I think I will stop there before anyone get any ideas at my lair. I know you are just astonished at the great news that came to pass from my ever so nosy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Replies
    1. They will rise in price
      With tax they won't be nice

  2. Gremlins vs Critters might be a good idea

  3. Reality tv, bites for the most part. Remakes I can also do without. I would love to see an original idea in Hollywood this year...not gonna happen though.

  4. Good news about Stargate but Reality TV is the devils arse water!

    1. Good way to describe it
      I just go with shit

  5. Stargate? Did someone say Stargate? Not another Stargate Universe, please!!!

    1. Uggg Universe was utter crap
      Made me want to take a nap

  6. Madness it is in Hollywood
    Not doing anyone any good
    But for some
    It's all fun
    They'll enjoy them touch wood


    1. haha oh how dirty of you
      Here at my zoo
      Leading a hand
      To Hollywood land
      Giving them a thrill or two

  7. Good Morning,

    Hollywood remakes
    I think these are mistakes
    one wonders why they
    want to give it another try
    I guess their brains ran dry
    perhaps, we should give them
    a tissue so they can cry
    or better yet buy them a
    new light bulb to screw
    into their heads now,
    one will talk into a shoe
    reminds me of Get Smart
    searching for clues...

    Reality TV can leave me be
    even though I do like the
    Amazing Race..as they
    run from place to place
    speaking of run I have
    to go hit the road

    cat have fun at your mat
    maybe, you can catch a nap
    thanks for the chat you little
    rhyming brat (lol) only kidding
    as I always enjoy your sea...

    hmmm..the sea reminds me of a song
    a pirate's song..

    Enjoy your day...

    1. Yeah most are pure crap
      The same old lap
      Need to be blown from the map
      Too many fall for their repeat trap
      They need the hammer to their head
      Or maybe keep them in bed

      Well at least today
      All you had to do is run at your bay
      Not get dressed too
      Avoiding the clever retort at my zoo

      Catch a nap would be nice
      But have to pay the price
      And work all day
      Even at my bay

      Good luck with the traffic at your sea
      You can sing a yo ho and a bottle of rum as you are stuck in such a spree

    2. Hey, did you take a catnap
      a cat has to have a little fun
      under his sun...I had to run
      I had things to get done..

      Dressed I was ready to go
      not like before when I had to zip
      and put on my slip..too funny
      but, away I went to make money
      would you care to share some honey

      traffic was good today at my bay
      a smooth ride all the way..
      I did sing today, I sang
      some blues to go with the mood

      How were things at your sea
      did you get anything for free
      or did you just swat some fleas..

      Have a good night!

    3. haha calling me honey
      May get you some money
      If I had some
      sadly I'll just hum
      A blues day though
      Hope today was better at your show

  8. The one that claims 'reality'
    For that I sure feel a lot pity
    And 'the' Stargate?
    I doubt it's worth the wait
    Are we really talking about virtual treat?
    Not much of a T.V freak on my side of street

    1. A virtual treat
      Can be neat
      But then it can smell like feet
      When they just repeat

  9. Planet of the Dogs would definitely be a hit
    Don't worry about hydrants, worry about s---!
    One would need to find a way to pick up poops
    but surely they could rely on the Super Scoop Troops!

    1. haha humans at hand
      In dog land
      Being pooper scoopers by the troop
      Throw many for a loop

  10. What would we do?
    If Kim Kardashian took a poo?
    AND God forbid we didn't know in which loo?
    But Seriously,we must know at least about her Shoes!

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    1. People who are that far gone
      Need to go roll on the lawn
      And stay there
      Until they no longer care

    2. I so wish the Kardashians would disappear
      They seem to invade us everywhere
      Even those of us who don't care
      I so wish they would become scarce!!!

    3. Yeah send them to the loony bin
      In a rubber room would not be a sin

  11. No thank you. I can only take snippits of Hollywood anything. ,-)

    1. A snippet here and there
      Is about all one can stand now a days at their lair

  12. i am clenching my rear, in fear
    of what remakes they might make this year, one worse than the next i am sure, and reality tv, ugh i am over it,
    the new one is to see if we can survive this genre

    1. Hope we can survive
      And get out alive
      Not even sure a genre is could be
      It is pretty much what you are clenching at your sea lol

  13. Oh excitement shows to come
    Will they make a very long run
    Gibson taking to a shoe
    Sounds like "get smart" old not new
    Gremlins vs. critters and planet of the dogs
    Next it will be touted the Grays vs. frogs.

    1. The frogs would win
      Which isn't a sin
      Now if it was a goat
      Then the Grays may gloat

  14. Reality is so scripted now. Even the totally entertaining Celebrity Rehab with the uber hot Dr. Drew is scripted. What a tragedy!

  15. These are great!! The gremlins could sure come up with some good sneakies or pranks to play on the Critters if the latter decided to play only by the rules. :)

    1. I don't think they would though
      Judging by the past critter show

  16. oh, is it retreat?
    don't like repeat.

  17. While you are home rhyming your ass off, I am at the beach in NC sweating my ass off....

    1. haha actually i am at work
      Sweat is not a perk

  18. Not much to see...
    most of that bores me!

  19. Replies
    1. Agreeing with betsy two days in a row
      Yep you cheat at your show

  20. No TV for me lately
    not even reality shows or comely
    ladies fighting over some guy
    I would rather write away ~

    I'm off for Vacation - Vancouver ~ See you ~

    1. Yeah I would rather write
      Than have such crap in sight
      Enjoy your vacation time
      Still be here to chime

  21. Hey Pat! Reality TV is the worst. When I was trapped in the hospital last week, I watched a horrendous show about a naked man and a naked woman (who didn't know each other) sent into the Costa Rican jungle to survive for 21 days and then to hike to an extraction point. OMG, it was the worst! I only watched it because I was in disbelief over how bad it was. Never again!!!!

    1. hahaha well at least you got a nude show
      The crap they let flow

  22. Eh hem...Bravo is ALWAYS playing in the background of my house. Is my soul REALLY doomed for that??? Silly cat...

    1. Yes you are doomed and going to hell
      At least it will be warm where you dwell

  23. I LOVE Goonies!!
    If they made a sequel I would go Loony
    Gremlins was good too
    But the sequel was a bunch of poo

    1. Did not like Hogan in two?
      haha it was crap that came due

  24. WHAT.,., No Friday the 13th Part 892!

    1. Nope
      Part 891 found Jason at the ed of his rope

  25. Sitting in Valencia, I'm reading this post
    Wondering which movie I'd like to see most
    Is it true... did you say Planet of the dogs?
    I tell ya, I'd rather watch Planet of the hogs.

    1. haha sitting there
      Are you bragging at your lair?
      Maybe a dog will step up to you
      Then do something that will really make you grumpy goo

  26. ha - i loved the gremlins when they first came into the cinemas...still remember it well....ugh on all the remakes....often they're just really bad

    1. Yeah 99.999% of the time they are crap
      Nothing but a waste of time trap

  27. Gibson goes crazy under the sun?
    That can't possibly be news.
    Because isn't he the one
    who hated all the Jews?

    By the way...
    Captain Caption
    will get some action.
    In next week's Penwasser Place.
    Cause I had dissatisfaction
    with something else...no traction...
    with that sucky "Penwasser Picture Place."

    1. haha should be interesting to see
      What you do with it at your tree
      And yep not new
      Same old crazy view

  28. I think I can do without the reality
    Because it is more of absurd profanity...

    New movies we have a lot
    Here in India, and it is very hot...

    I don't know if it rhymes at all
    But hopefully such small things are excused at Pat's hall :-)

    1. haha hope you can beat the heat
      There at your street

  29. Mel Gibson acting crazy and talking to a shoe? I sure hope that shoe isn't Jewish.

    Also, I hope your comments stop going to spam. I rescued them, but apparently blogger thinks you're trying to sell me something. Meanwhile, I keep getting comments from some idiot that's trying to sell textbooks in India, and those go through just fine.

    If I were you, I'd be kinda offended.

    1. I'm glad you boys mentioned this as it prompted me to check my spam folder. I found a bunch of comments in there and one from the Cat.

    2. haha the shoe may get a mouth full then
      From him at his den
      Yeah the damn things even go to spam here
      Google has it out for my rhyming rear
      The india guy just must be allergic to cats
      So spam won't let him in when I go there at everyone's mats

      Even in spam at your shore
      Hmph stupid blogger not letting my yap and explore

    3. Fran wound up in there as well. I rarely ever check my spam anymore. Since I no longer allow anonymous comments I don't get spammed often. Better start a routine check of it again.

    4. yeah I never check it at my sea
      Until in there it threw me

  30. Gibson is mad
    and Kardashians
    have been had
    by every Tom
    every Dick and
    even Harry.

    But I'll kill
    a flea
    if it lands
    upon me as
    it has surely
    come from your shore.

    1. yeah screw them nuts
      They prob sniff butts
      It may be a poison flea
      That will leak acid when killed by thee

    2. If it's sent by you it probably will. You're so evil Cat the you're genetically engineering insects and making toxic poo. Your farts have recently been classified as "a weapon of mass destruction" by the CIA. Oh yeah, the NSA has their eyes on you as well.

    3. Damn i am good
      Pissing off the big bad acronym americans in my hood

  31. I am so glad
    TV was never my fad
    Would rather in the mountains be
    Always something beautiful to see

    1. That is true
      But on the tv it you can view lol

  32. Remakes suck!
    Just a way for Hollywood to make a quick buck!
    Just saw Monter's Inc 2.
    They should have flushed that one down the loo.
    I guess wanting an original idea is too much to ask for.
    Instead they will keep churning out movies that bore.

    1. Yep more and more
      They sure do bore
      Prequels suck too
      Hate them at my zoo

  33. This post made me laugh but I don't know if the Pat is telling the truth or not here, my dad loves Stargate and he will go crazy if there's a remake, say it aint so buddy! Great post though mate.

    1. The truth is out there
      But it may not be at my lair

  34. orlin N cassie...wunder if gremlinz versuz critterz will be az good az godzilla versuz megalon !!

    1. Hmmm it just might
      But it be a much smaller fight

  35. Stargate? Gremlin? Mel Gibson? What y'all talking bout? No TV here

  36. This is a great post!


  37. Not something I wish to ever have happen

  38. Is Stargate really coming back? I liked that show!

  39. Stargate was made in Vancouver
    Just like me such a groover
    Reality shows
    Get up my nose
    Planet of the 'Blogs'
    Has gone to the dogs

    1. Gone to the dogs you say
      That will never happen at my bay

  40. I remember Gremlins as a kid

    who knew midnight snacks could be so forbid

    1. Yeah such a shock
      Time zones must surely rock

  41. We knew there was a reason we don't watch TV!

  42. And let me second that for reality TV.

  43. Please no tickets for your show Patt.. :)
    nosy little rhyming ass deserves more than just tickets !!

    Been away for a while,, hope u r doing good :)


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