So last year the cat went on at his mat about nuts at the
beach who like to preach. Of course that time he was just having a little fun
but sadly this time when he was out under the sun, in the giant litter box, away
they strolled with their knee-high socks.
Do you have a minute sir?
They already ruffled my fur,
Talking to me like that.
So I trotted off and let them pick on Pat.
Don't you think it is hideous the way these women are
dressed?
Yup, I knew they were going to be a pest.
Pat grunted and looked away.
That did not go over well with their fray.
Can't you answer a simple question?
Is that a question or suggestion?
I said question, can't you answer it?
Can you pop that zit?
Oh wait that is a mole.
No wonder you have a face like a lump of coal.
Don't get lippy with me.
All of this is blasphemy.
Then there was that word.
Oh how I knew they were absurd.
Who in the heck goes to a beach,
dressed with knee-high socks to preach?
They really must have been sweating up their ass crack,
The whole freaking annoying pack.
And then they went even further into despair,
Asking that if I really care,
I would give them a donation.
It sounded more like a proclamation.
As out came the hand,
so I filled it full of sand.
Told them not to spend it all in one place,
Should have seen the look on their face.
They crossed themselves as Pat walked off.
I bet they wanted to dunk him in a holy horse trough.
That is the first time I ever had to deal with that crap,
Anywhere near the spot on my map.
I guess as the waves swell,
They think everyone that is half naked is going to hell.
You know what they say about hell in a handbasket,
I bet though still ask for 10 grand when I'm in a casket.
Oh how they swarm like flies,
Asking for dough and pretending they are wise.
Yes, Pat really had to deal with that crap. But he wasn't
about to fall into their trap. Next time he told me to dig a big hole then we
could at least bury the one with the ugly mole. Gloria will have some company
then as she is still buried at my den. Maybe they'll stay home and preach to
Sunday school class, and never again bother my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
No.#1
ReplyDeleteHank
Just in
DeleteFor another win
#1
ReplyDeleteNot quite
DeleteAt my site
It's not a pleasant experience to be mocked for having a mole or a zit but I guess that's deserved when you act like a bit of a... tit. Great and funny post though buddy, by the time I was here John and Hank had beat me so I didn't even throw my first comment post in the ring, I've already been beat so ring the bell ding ding ding.
ReplyDeletehaha they bug me
DeleteAnd I'll mock with glee
Guess I brought it on though
Making fun last year at my show
Oh you find them everywhere, sad really
ReplyDeleteBut they never find me
DeleteThey usually leave me be
What a bother and such a nuisance
ReplyDeletePretty irritating when this happened
Stopped in your tracks
Questions that attacked
With lots of made believe flamboyance
Hank
You went to spam
DeleteWith a wham
Like they should
Wish they could
In spam they all should cram
Allllllmost UNO!
ReplyDeleteThat said... You should've seen the beach I had the pleasure of terrorising with my stinky feet! Beautiful women left and right
DeleteYou would've wanted to take a bite.
You can pretend to be almost first
DeleteWith your burst
So you scared hot women away
With stinky feet each day?
they bother you no matter where yu are. At least it wasn't Scientology
ReplyDeleteThey seem to be around
DeleteBut usually they aren't found
ah we got street corner messiahs...conservative, similar get up and a mission to accomplish in ways that would make SEALS blush, what an experience eh? full of love say? as they bully their way.
ReplyDeleteYeah a bully indeed
DeleteTrying to plant the seed
for you to go with their crap
As away they flap
Socks at the beach is never a good look
ReplyDeleteNope not one bit
DeleteKinda makes one look like a twit
People on the beach preaching?
ReplyDeleteThat would surely cause some screeching
You should have cast them into the sea
And taken from it much glee
haha probably sue me
DeleteIf I threw them in the sea
Be careful when you're by the water
ReplyDeleteDon't do things you shouldn't aughter
You'll get baptized by the snout
By John Baptist, he's got clout
Need Jaws around
DeleteThat will keep them on the ground
And far away from me
As I near the sea
Begging at the beach? Who's got anywhere to put any money when they're at the beach, lol. They'd be better off moving to the front of the ice cream store...where people have to have money to go in. ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't like when people ask for money (unless it's the kids who are still living at home, that's a different story). ;)
Yeah oh so very true
DeleteI think they just wanted to preach more on cue
Bunch of idiots anyway
And yeah kids bumming is to be expected at ones bay
If these people brought 'loaves and fishes' it might have been okay
ReplyDeleteit doesn't matter what you wear if you can back up what you say!
If you can back it up
DeleteBut they had less brains that a pup
I never have a problem in a public space.
ReplyDeleteI must give off, "Approach and you die" kind of face.
But when they knock on my door, I wish I had MACE.
Lucy from Lucy's Reality
I'll have to work on my face
DeleteAnd yeah i slam the door when they come around for such an embrace
Like the movie Uncle Buck - "Here's a quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face."
ReplyDeletehaha that was a good one
DeleteBut they might need 2 quarters this day in age under the sun
At a beach?????????????????????????????????
ReplyDeleteYep went there
DeleteStill white as can be at my lair
Hahahaha... you filled his hand with sand. That is funny. My sister tells them to go get a job.
ReplyDeleteYep nothing but sand
DeleteDidn't think it was grand
I'm guessing the knee socks were not paired with hot pants??? 'Cause that look is ALL the rage right now and those hot babes certainly don't need to beg for money!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNothing hot about it
DeleteThey did think those knee high socks were the shit haha
Next time,
ReplyDeleteWhen "they" strike-
show them mike,
and take an interview
say for the world view
-what then they do?
haha start interviewing would be fun
DeleteThat could make them run
I've never seen them at the beach (oh wait, we don't have beaches here... dammit), but they always knock on my door. My favorite line is usually, "God is love, but God is not gainful employment. So go get a real job, you bums."
ReplyDeletehaha but you have lots of big hills
DeleteThat must give you thrills
haha that is so true
They need to stop trying to screw money out of all at each zoo
Wack-a-Mole at the beach could be fun!
ReplyDeleteYeah be a grand time
DeleteWhacking humans would be sublime
they are everywhere.. :]
ReplyDeleteThat they are
DeleteNear and far
Even though I'm the religious kind
ReplyDeleteI've not paid street preachers much mind
(We have no beaches here
And I've not seen them in the mountains clear)
Never could understand the desire
To yell and scream brimstone fire
Not a single Christian I've met
Found God via street preachers yet
Better to put your faith to work
By doing good instead of driving people berserk!
Yeah that should be the way
DeleteNot preaching crap each day
About people at the beach
As they try to leech
How irritating!
ReplyDeleteThat they were
DeleteRuffled my fur
Preach at the beach?
ReplyDeleteOh my, how crass!
They make me screech!
Then I throw sand at their ass.
haha I kicked a little their way
DeleteBut they got a hand full as pay
orlin N cassie....
ReplyDeletether bee preecherz...sellerz ..N mor at R door
we see em thru de glass while we lay on de floor
sew N we yellz at R mom, stay way this time
then her final got smart N dizconnected de chime
:)
haha a smart thing to do
DeleteThere at your zoo
Then you don't hear
When they are near
They were seriously at the beach? I guess you can't even vacation in peace!
ReplyDeleteYeah they were actually there
DeleteIf I had my phone I would have snapped a pic to use at my lair
Preach with knee high sock and no luck
ReplyDeleteCaused much havoc
Yet I'm glad
Though what happened was bad
This time Pat came into sight
Guess he prefers staying away from spotlight
Yeah prefers it indeed
DeleteHide behind my feed
and rant away
Night and day
They will leave no corner unlooked, no shell unturned...
ReplyDeleteThis is epic:
"Everyone that is half naked is going to hell." That line should be used in a book!
P.S. Do you think I could find a bikini with a top big enough to conceal my blow-up bra? I'd love to see what those people would think of that!
LOL not sure I could use it in a kiddie book
DeleteBut could at another at my nook
Hmmm I'm sure you could
And so you should hahaha
That's gonna be one LARGE top! lol
DeleteJust have a look
DeleteAt the people of walmart nook
You will see
There is a large enough top to fit thee
You never know how many weirdos are at the beach
ReplyDeletethe promise of bikini girls brings more than could preach
Yeah sadly that is true
DeleteMore than bikinis in view
A trap. That's a brilliant idea. I'll have to remember that when I go to BC next month!
ReplyDeleteMake a big trap
DeleteTo shut their yap
Wow, you just never know who you will run into while out and about.
ReplyDeletehaha just never know
Deletewho will show
Dang. That's just wrong. Sorry you had to deal with that.
ReplyDeleteBah made for a blog post
DeleteAt least at my coast
You could have literally told him to go pound sand
ReplyDeletelike you always do at your land. ha.
haha that I could have indeed
DeleteBut i figured the more I mouthed off the more they'd blither on about how God wants me to take heed
Ha, you think they would be rather enjoying the beach than polluting peoples minds, how much would it take to sculpt a giant middle finger?
ReplyDeleteThey might smash it though- false idol worship, golden calf type stuff Though i'd worship a golden calf thanks if anyone has one they want shifting.
Yeah you'd think that
DeleteProb take a while to do a middle finger to at ones mat
When we go to Atlantic City, people hang out on the boardwalk with their hands out all the time. Makes me mad... some of them are well dressed for bums.
ReplyDeleteOne time, I left a bag on a bench, it was filled with garbage. I left and watched the bench. A guy sat down and tried to act like it was his bag... he looked disappointed to see garbage.
LMAO the poor thief had nothing to steal
DeleteGuess he'll have to go spin the roulette wheel
Next time, don't make eye contact! If you do, they'll want to talk to you.
ReplyDeleteYeah that was my mistake
DeleteNext time I'll go jump in the lake
Well, that was some day on the beach
ReplyDeletemen wearing socks, what is it they hide
as they stand in sand to preach
asking for donations, from peeps
I think they could find a better place
to present their case..
Once I was in Virginia Beach on the boardwalk
and these people were preaching, well really
yelling at some kids on a balcony who were
drinking..told them they were going to hell
and this kid yells down I'm on vacation
will worry about hell later...
I'm for freedom of speech but, not preaching
on the beach..and I wonder why they weren't
doing something to help the homeless people
down the street...makes ya wonder...
Sorry, about your day on the beach!
Have a good night sleep tight...
i was sleeping at this time
DeleteSo late with your chime
Had a rough day
There at your bay?
Super headache for me
So off to sleep I went at my sea
They should find a better place
But is any better with such an embrace?
haha yelling at drunk people never works
They either throw stuff or give a bunch of smirks
Actually doesn't make me wonder too much
As they just want to increase their wallet size instead of reaching out to touch
I usually get the beggars downtown. Haven't had one at the beach yet, thankfully! Wish you would have gotten a pic of the socks. I bet that was HOT! lol
ReplyDeleteLOL oh yes it was so hot
DeleteIt gave be eye rot
Another reason to avoid the beach. As if the sun and heat wasn't enough reason already.
ReplyDeleteDon't want a tan
DeleteSo the beach you ban
i guess walking around half naked is a bad thing now...dang it!
ReplyDeletehaha guess fully naked we will have to be
DeleteWhen going by the sea