Have A Ball With The Video Call!

So the other day the cat was using Skype at his bay. I watched the human on the other end and I think they forgot that they don't need to hit send. For the cat saw all. Here are some things not to do well on a video call.

The first is obvious as can be,
Don't pick your nose in front of me.
The second isn't hard to do.
Don't talk while you're in the loo.

And it is not cool,
To sit and wipe away drool.
Also put some clothes on before you hit play.
Seeing your no sun bare ass is not something I need at my bay.

Do not sit there and stuff your face,
It's not like you're in a race.
But at least one good thing comes to pass,
I don't have to smell the breath of your nasty mass.

And if you want to whistle a tune,
Go for a walk in a litter box sand dune.
And do not yell into the mic,
Or I will tell you to take a hike.

Yes, you have very nice hair.
But I don't need to watch you groom it at your lair.
Or picking in the curly spot.
That might make my eyes rot.

And picking that green stuff out of your teeth,
May go well with an upcoming Christmas wreath.
But it is not something I need to see.
I don't want to know your mouth looks like a tree.

And using it in the car,
Won't get you very far.
But even when you crash,
I still hear you swearing and talking trash.

Speaking of hearing,
Even through your throat clearing,
I can hear you shout to the other room.
My, you must really have fun with that broom.

Or was it a toy,
That brings you so much joy?
Wait, I don't really want to know.
There is no need for you to show.

This is also not primary class.
You don't not need to hold your sippy glass,
And have a fun show and tell.
But yes, your stamp collection is so swell.

So there are just a few tips of what not to do when talking on a video call at your zoo. It is amazing how many of you, including Pat, act normal and forget that you are in view. Or at least normal to you for here much crazy always comes due. But that you already knew class as every day I rhyme off my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Not #1, that is why i don't use the video

  2. My three older kids use video to talk online. My husband hates when they do it if he's in the background, hahaha

    1. hahaha doesn't like to get caught
      When he's up to some plot

  3. Just amazing what people might do
    Not realizing when focused on you
    At least cover up
    when not in the dark
    Bad luck when seen in full view


    1. Maybe not bad luck
      Depends on the duck
      That you see
      At your tree
      Might be worth a buck

  4. Good Morning,

    I made a special effort to be #1
    that cannot be done under your sun
    Hank is quick, as he does the click
    I haven't used Skype in some time
    now I just type and type but, true
    if you use it be careful of the view

    Skype in the car, that seems rather hard
    I wonder why some give that a try..
    nice to stay in touch when someone is far
    floating in the heavens like a star..lol..

    I have to go, but I wanted to say hello
    hmmm..now do you like to wear yellow
    I like blue when I'm feeling mellow..
    enjoy your day from start to end
    Captain Pat Hatt and his cat friend...
    (I had to throw that in so humor me)

    Enjoy your day at your bay...

    1. Have to get up really early at my bay
      To be #1 of the day
      Even then though
      Hank is lurking at my show
      Ready to strike
      And make all take a hike

      I used it a time or ten
      Here at my den
      But type and type away too
      with my one hand at my zoo lol

      Yellow, nope not for me
      Don't even think I have clothes that color at my sea haha
      But plenty of blue
      Enjoy your OT too

    2. Yup, No number one today at your bay
      but, that is ok I didn't have much
      time to play.

      Some fellows don't wear yellow
      but, you are wearing yellow in
      your new banner well, actually gold
      as now, you are in Egypt writing
      on a scroll..Hey, did the cat hide my
      scroll at your bay...
      he likes to take my things, first
      my missing piece and now my scroll
      what will I find at your bay????

      hehe..hope you are having a great day...

    3. haha the cat squirrels everything away
      you will never find them at my bay
      he'll run off and hide it well
      He thinks it is swell

    4. Good Evening,

      haha that cat is sneaky
      and a little cheeky
      may have to have a chat
      with that notorious cat
      as we sit on a yoga mat
      contemplating his next
      scandalous attack..hehe
      waiting to see what he
      is brewing at his sea
      beside hot herbal tea

      PS - tell me how's the
      move going..do you have
      that place all set
      so away you can go?

      Have a good night under your sky
      may your dreams take you on a
      fun ride...Good Night Pat...

    5. PS - What happened to you're other hand or shouldn't I ask??? Hope you are ok at your bay...hugs..

    6. haha Pat still hasn't got a yoga mat
      So you'll have to share as you chat
      He needs to get on that
      So then he can be as flexible as the cat
      The move is going fine
      The feline doesn't think it is divine
      Will soon have everything set up so can move in as the cat continues to whine
      As for the arm
      Typing did that harm
      Along with other crap
      Now if I use it nerve stuff flies all over Pat's map
      Not fun at all
      Gonna try acupuncture soon at my hall

  5. That call would end real quick if there was any sort of nakedness. Unless it was my wife. But that would be taunting.
    New header is cool, Pat!

    1. haha but taunting can delight
      Glad you like the new header at my site

  6. It has been a long time since I have skyped. I used to do it every day with my sister but sitting in one spot isn't my idea of a good time.

    1. Well when you have to yap
      Easy enough to flap

  7. Love the new header!

    Great tips for Skyping
    And, sad we need reminding lol

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

  8. I've never once skyped
    Not sure why, maybe I'm just not the type
    But if I ever do
    I'll remember these tidbits put forth at your zoo

  9. With a failed attempt at digging their nose
    They try everything to set a great pose
    It feels probably a bit insecure
    As they try every move while they wish to score
    Technical disturbance and the frequent recursion
    I'd rather prefer to meet in person
    Hair and glow and everything insane
    Video calls are not very much owned at my side of lane

    1. Good lane to avoid
      Don't fall in the void
      As all are insane
      Then you can just see it in the little window pane

  10. Nice tips and I like the first few lines
    Don't pick your nose in front of me.
    The second isn't hard to do.
    Don't talk while you're in the loo.

    1. Yep tips to remember for one and all
      At their hall

  11. In b/w...the header is sure nice
    The previous one though, felt a little more wise
    With a Pat all smirk
    Few aliens trying to lurk
    Giza...Egypt...this one seems inspired
    Pyramids, at your zoo, are sure admired

    1. Yeah this one the cat is in control
      As Pat being wise took a stroll
      Glad you like too
      The new one in view

  12. nice new banner man, all egyptian in your land
    and too funny the things people will do when you dont
    thinking anyone is looking in your zoo...err
    couple be some nasty stuff too...
    a body that giggles when naked like goo..

    1. giggles..haha...I think he meant jiggles. :) Maybe I could become his editor. Will you write up a reference for me? haha.

    2. haha well a body can giggle
      As it tries to wiggle

      And the cat can supply
      A reference to the gawker guy haha

  13. Skyping is a boring pace
    And see every wrinkle on your face
    A brand new header at your zoo
    Tells who will be the king or two
    King Tut could never be more proud
    Fanned by his all-adoring crowd
    The slave with bracelets on his arm
    Sits writing like a lucky charm

    1. haha but it lets one talk
      Not sure on the gawk
      And Pat is the slave
      But i won't mummify him in any grave

  14. Dig the new header!!!! Now I can't seem to get the visual outta my head of someone using a broom for a, uh, toy.

    1. haha oh what the cat can do
      Thinking of many ways for it to come due?

  15. If I ever skype
    I'll remember your hype
    and the tips you gave
    my dignity to save.

    1. Dignity is overrated
      By forgetting the tips you may make one elated haha

  16. -chuckle- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO video calls for me!!!!

    I lived through the old private web cam phase. Not going back, into "those woods." ,-)))))))))))))))

    1. haha you mean you went into those woods before
      There at your shore

  17. I like the new blog header

    the cat trained the dogs to stand up, clever

    1. All mutts want to do is please
      So it was a breeze

  18. It bugs me when people stare at their own Skype video instead of the person they're talking with. It reminds me of this sweet kid who always comes over to my house to talk about writing. He inevitably ends up standing in front of a mirror and staring at himself as he asks me questions about character development and plotting. It's hilarious lol

    1. hahaha does he have a fascination with himself
      As he tries to write a book for his shelf

  19. Just chiming in saying I like the new header, too.

    I don't use Skype, and this post makes me happy I don't!

    1. Glad you like with your chime
      Expected you to say too big what a crime lol

  20. If you do a video call be sure that your place is clean
    If you're surrounded by a mess, don't show that scene
    comb your hair and wash your face
    so you look like a member of the human race.

    And as for our new header, it's pretty cool I attest
    I showed it to my dogs though, and THEY weren't impressed
    they suggested it should be the other way
    cats should fan dog to keep fleas and ticks away!

    1. All good tips indeed
      That one should heed
      And as for the mutts
      Maybe if they sniffed less butts
      They would not get ticks or fleas
      And be able to enjoy the breeze

  21. I've only skyped a time or two, but sure didn't do it from in the loo!

  22. Haha, this is a very funny post
    I Skype with far away friends the most
    But no, don't want to see them groom
    Or flying away on a broom
    Don't Skype and drive ever!
    That would not be clever
    Just a normal conversation
    Is all I want at my station :)

    1. haha normal can be hard to come by
      As away people fly
      And I've had one with a guy who was driving
      He ended up surviving

  23. A new banner today is a great visual display. It's crazy the things that one can get up to on Skype, to me it really is worth the hype!

    1. It does the trick
      And the banner is visually slick

  24. Picking your nose--definitely a nono on a video call.

    1. Yeah don't want to get caught doing that
      At ones mat

  25. I've only used the video feature once and I hated it so I don't do that anymore. If someone wants to talk to me they can send an email. lol

  26. Cat, you should write a book on Skype etiquette! (I like your new banner picture, by the way!)

    1. Could be a big hit
      Glad you like the new banner as there I sit

  27. A video call in the loo. What is your Skype number, Patt?

    1. haha not telling you
      Enjoying peace and quiet in the loo

  28. orlin N cassie...if R mom used skype...everee one gettin a message frum her wood be passed out frum frightz....N thatz while her bee fullee clothed ...if her sended a skype with her self bein butt azz nekkid... de reecever oh said message wood swear de anti christ wuz lookin at em....matter oh fact... her butt azz nekkid self coz scare de shibitz outta satan !!

    way awesum new header by de way !

    1. haha we know where to come
      Should satan give off an evil hum

  29. I haven't been here in a while. Is that header very new?
    I've never used Skype but I've used other Video chat apps
    and Invariable end up embarrassing myself because I forgot I could be seen.

    1. Yeah just came out yesterday
      Here at my bay
      Can make a scene
      When you forget you can be seen

  30. And, this is exactly why I don't Skype!

  31. Have to be careful what you do for sure

  32. Thanks for the tips on video call Pat ~

    And I like the new banner ~

    1. Glad you like it
      And yeah a tip to be a skype hit

  33. Hello cat
    Before I scat
    Dog says hello
    Don't you know
    Penny the superstar
    From afar
    She says she licks the monitor
    To even the drooling score
    A load of hype...

    1. haha add some drool
      That will make things unspool

  34. Hahahaha. Skype is scary. I had a job interview on it once and it was such a trip.

    Good advice, don't pick your lice.

    1. haha that would be interesting indeed
      A job interview at ones feed

  35. I'll try to remember all that for any future Skype contacts. I sure miss the days of audio-only conference calls. I could catch up on my blogging, grab a cat nap, or make a grocery list and only have to be listening to respond to the predicable: "You have anything to add Slam?"

    1. haha could get a lot more done
      And just say yep continuing on under your sun

  36. New banner - fun
    and dogs serve cat,
    as if he's king,
    and writing pet...

    skype helps
    with every person,
    when they have
    piano lesson...

    1. haha a piano lesson over skype
      Never knew it was used for such hype

  37. Pat Hatt, you changed the top of your blog. It looks cool!

  38. I only Skype with my husband when he goes to work in China. He sees me doing stupid stuff like that all day anyway, so I won't change those habits just because we are Skyping lol. However, for anyone else, great rules to follow.

    1. Damn, he goes that far away
      And yeah there are some you don't have to follow the rules for at your bay

  39. The Human has friends who want to Skype
    She'd much rather just continue to type
    If she wants to write email in her ratty baffrobe
    It's no big deal anywhere 'cross the globe
    So she thinks she'll decline
    & Hope her friends think that's fine ;-)

    1. A good realization indeed
      Then dressing isn't in need
      Can sit around in a bare bum
      And type while giving a hum

    2. video calls become tricky..
      when the person behind do nasty things :D

      been there, last resort is Good bye :P

    3. haha good way to be
      Wave and say see ya with glee


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