Another Round Makes Me Wish For A Hound!

We're once more back with the dating nuts, who I swear have less brain cells than mutts. Maybe Pat should find a B&C so then we don't have to deal with each dummy. But at least they make a post come due and make for a good laugh or two.

na na na na na na hey hey hey goodbacon
No one will ever accuse you of fakin.
I love summer, breaches, running and being around happy people.
Well I'm sure with breaches there will at least be a happy steeple.

Motley Crue and Guns N Roses are my shit.
Wow, your crap must be a hit.
I enjoy impromptu adventures and exploring new spaces.
And with that more steeples are off to the races.

I will send a picture of myself upon you.
Wow, you move really fast at your zoo.
Not all those who wonder are lost.
But wondering to far could cost.

Looking for that special gay I deserve to find.
Whoa, stay far away from the behind.
We'll just lie and say we met at Walmart.
Yeah, you just jumped in my cart.

It tuff 2 met knew people on a reglar bases.
And I wonder why with such embraces.
Don't message me if you are going to give me a compliment I want to hear.
So would you rather I tell you you have big rear?

I'm not closed off to a relationship.
I'm so glad you are on a dating site and shoot from the hip.
Cute, flirty and want to tingle.
I so hope you are not talking about number one and want to mingle.

My eyes are my best fiture.
They kind of make you look like a criture.
Want someone who wants a new wrist in life.
Damn, you would be one abusive wife.

I'm looking for someone heated in the same direction as me.
I was snip snip, so for me there is no heat spree.
Cat got your tongue?
Whoever made up that saying's bell is surely rung.

I'm terrible at this but I love jello.
My, that makes me want to say hello.
Love walks camp travel going out to eat animals movies rap
If you eat cats I hope you get the clap.

If I could be anything, I'd choose to be a professional assassin specializing in kids.
Better watch out, even as a joke, the PTA may flip their lids.
Easy going/out going, I'm always going.
I hear Imodium can keep that from showing.

So there we are I spent another hour searching through profiles for my rhyming bar. There are some real winners there today. I can go back and find them if you want them for your bay? Did I hear a yes from one of you? I bet the kid assassin can make a mighty fine brew. Thankfully Pat avoided each lass, which of course delights my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Not going for any relationships
    Gay or not am not making a hit
    It's a tough life
    Just to survive
    Would cut the crap off any bid


    1. That it would
      As well it should
      Get rid of the crap
      Stop with the flap
      And just try and make things good

  2. imodium
    hahaha esp if you got guns n roses running out your ass, PASS! think i will try and control my tongue to keep it from slipping

    1. haha that would sure chafe a bit
      Sense when is you tongue afraid to say shit haha

  3. Lost it at the part about the special gay!
    You and Robyn should do a classified dating column together.

    1. hahaha yeah that was one I had to use
      We could surely take the nuts out there and verbally abuse

  4. Rhyming is your best "fiture"
    You should frame this collection in a picture
    Oh the woes of internate dating
    Can definitely be quite grating

    1. That they can indeed
      And look what happened at my feed
      They may you unable to spell
      Oh the hell

  5. lol, well the good thing is you know who to rule out right away.
    Deductive reasoning. :)

    1. I'd rule them all out
      Save me plenty of time but they do make for a post shout

  6. hahaha....too funny not to read
    before to the auction I speed.
    Everyone wants to tingle!
    Enjoyed your little jingle.
    Will come back later tonight
    and read the whole thing, what a fright!

    1. Fright is the word
      As all are absurd
      So the cat stays away
      Enjoy your auction day

    2. And what's wrong with tingling, Betsy?

      Enjoyed this one, Orlin!

    3. haha a good tingle
      Is fine when with the right one you mingle

    4. Not a thing...that's why I said everyone wants to feel tingly! lol...And why did I just know you'd pick up on this comment?? haha.

    5. Was easy to deduce though
      Tingle away from head to toe

  7. I love being around happy people? Seriously? Who doesn't? It is like saying, "I love to laugh" Yeah, well who "Loves to cry?"
    I know some smartass would answer, "Me, I much rather have a good cry than laugh." Yeah, right put that on your profile and see how many dates you get. Most importantly, 'loves to laugh' or 'likes to hang with happy people' kind of redundant.

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    1. Yeah redundant crap
      All over the map
      That takes a lap
      As they flap

  8. Oh, that is great! I think I'd give her a solid grammar lesson.

  9. Go for the Walmart chick. She obviously has amazing taste!!!

    1. I bet she can amaze
      Or be like a rat in a maze

  10. Eyes are best "fiture" well I guess
    The rest of your "fitures" are quite a mess
    How about the "fiture" don't ditcher
    If she's looking to get hitcher
    If she trows you a curve like a baseball pitcher
    It's time to rethink your very best "fiture."

    1. I think I'll take the balk
      And to first I'll walk
      Then go who's on first
      And walk home before I burst

  11. Well maybe some speed dating would get quicker results!

    Thanks for the kind words and well wishes for our Dad, he is already doing so much better!

    1. Glad he is doing well
      Speed dating would get Pat quickly over the hell

  12. My eyes are my best fiture.

    I doubt the truth of that when she misspelled feature.

  13. So glad I don't bother with that mess

  14. If your soul mate is yet unmet,
    Don't hunt her on the internet.
    Look in person near and far,
    Or even in the corner bar;
    Go to synagogue or church;
    Don't leave her in the lurch.
    For she's out there waiting for you,
    And longs to join you at your zoo.

    1. Nice and cheery thought
      Go all hot to trot
      But then things go to pot
      A find one from the crazy pot
      and in a good way not
      Better off with a robot

  15. Some people deserve each other or no-one at all!

  16. Had my fair share
    Of bad ones here at my layer
    Never got the concept
    Umm...commenting on it won't really be apt

  17. No sentiments
    for comments...
    have a great

  18. Oh, no! Assassin specializing in kids? yeep!

    I have a question for you, Pat. Do you know how one would go about self-publishing a children's book with textures in it? I have a friend wanting to go this route, but not sure if that is possible without an agent/traditional publisher?

    Thank you in advance :)

    1. Yeah advertising on a dating site
      Nutbag takes flight

      Hmmm never came across a way
      To do textures at my bay
      Sure there is something out there
      will have a look around my lair

  19. Those are hilarious! Good idea to stay away from those lasses!

  20. That assassin line just isn't smart haha, never mind the PTA, the feds would probably be after him if they read his entry! The special gay line specifically was hilarious too. Great post buddy, really love this concept.

    1. haha yeah have to watch things like that
      Saying them and some people will whack you with a bat

  21. Replies
    1. Imodium can work great
      Maybe it will shut them up on a date

  22. Sometimes solitude is best! Smiles.

  23. You got the blog hopping this time--all sorts of questions.

    Technically, a "kid" refers to a baby goat. And they are mighty fine eating, I've been told.

    1. Hmmm I suppose that is better in a way
      Still blah at my bay
      And hopping it seems to be
      With the dating scary

  24. orlin N casie...speekin oh eyez on trout; hope ya get plentee....trout that iz ...frank lee eatin de eyes gives uz de ba jeebeez.....

    any hoo, heerz two a grate week oh end....hope stuffz settlin down at yur bay frum de mewve

  25. Not sure what to say today
    sounds like you found some winners
    they might enjoy some dinner
    some may need a dictionary
    or want you to play Pictionary...

    Hope you had a great day!

    1. haha I just look
      Here at my nook
      through their online spiel
      Then use it for my rhyming wheel
      No way will I ever again use a dating site
      Such a fright

  26. Whoa... that special gay guy could back door you lickety split.... you wouldn't even know your hit.

  27. Those people can't spell!
    Pat is disappointed, I can tell
    Well, at least it's entertaining
    But what a silly game is dating
    Hope you'll meet someone nice
    At your wedding, we'll throw rice :)

    1. haha don't hit me in the head
      With rice made of lead

  28. Watch out for lasses
    As slow as molasses
    Beware of their asses
    And lingering gases

  29. Gag, and yet so darn funny
    What people will write for a little honey
    Definitely can see where texting is taking
    A huge hit on those who are forsaking
    Proper grammar and spelling
    For quick instant shelling

    1. Yeah a big hit
      Talk like umm spit
      Bit by bit
      But can make fun of it

  30. I liked the rhymes until you came to the kid assassins. Not funny or even something one can joke about in our sick little world.

    1. Yeah but nuts are out there
      Who joke about it with flair

  31. You'll find yourself out of luck, when searching through the internet muck,
    for that special someone,
    with whom you can have fun.
    Oh what happened to the time, when you could show your love in rhyme,
    on a piece of paper for your true love to read and pine?
    For few of us will the stars align...
    Maybe it's just a sign.

    Perhaps a cat lady is the answer to your dating malady?

    1. haha a crazy cat lady
      Beats the shady
      But much is done online now a days
      On big scary maze

  32. I think you should start a dating sight of your own to connect all these crazies who seem to seek out your place. Forget the rhymes. I think the nut jobs is where the money is at!

    1. haha that could be true
      With so many in view
      I could back a crap load
      Going all match maker mode


  33. Strike Three

    You need an armory
    to combat eHarmony;
    Of hand grenades you'll need a batch
    To fight off all those chicks from Match;
    And your first date from Zoosk--
    Well, she looks like a moosk.

    1. haha the moosk would be scary
      I bet they are hairy
      The grenade they may eat
      Proving they aren't sweet
      And the armory is stocked well
      For such hell


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