Bring Them On At My Lawn!

You know people think they are being smart but really they have the brains of those people on that site about Walmart. But that you knew but did you know this at your zoo? People that are in direct competition with you pay others to give you a bad review.

His must look bad,
My must look good.
I'll hire some lad,
To make his sound like wood.

I hated this book.
It was oh so very bad.
The guy was really a crook.
I can't believe I paid this lad.

Oh this book is great.
This book is so grand.
Buy this one at any rate.
Ignore competition in the land.

Sadly they are generic as generic can be.
Yet people still think they work.
When it all actually,
They just give you an added perk.

Now you have another review,
And they all aren't gushing five stars.
That makes you seem down to earth at your zoo.
Soon you'll be riding in fancy cars.

Yet the one who hired the mook,
Will still be sitting there on their butt.
They will think your win is just a fluke,
And target others at their hut.

Yes, this is oh so very true.
There is many underhanded things going on,
Over at Amazon's and other book sites zoo.
But that is the same everywhere from dust to dawn.

I just hope no one gets mad,
That the bunny held up his finger.
So no fun is had.
I guess the finger stuck around to linger.

Oh my this is good.
This book is bad because there are no ads in it at the end.
My, give it one star you should.
They got off of the advertising trend.

Should I be insulted they don't hire good bad reviewers to insult me?
Pfffft bring it on I say.
Unless it is you playing that movie at my sea.
Then go far far far away.

There we go. Now you all know that a bad review comes to you, it could simply be the competition thinking it will give theirs a better view. But just remember the more they sass, the more they are afraid, just like they are of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Replies
    1. 5 million in a row?

      more streaks than a population of crows

    2. haha bit of an exaggeration there
      Only 900 posts done at my lair

  2. They can give whatever bad review
    Makes no difference none the blue
    Up the ante
    At your bay
    Have to reckon with a stronger you


    1. Yeah I get through
      With a pfft coming due
      Doesn't bother me
      At my sea
      Just adds another review

  3. I saw a special on TV once where competitors in the hotel industry wrote terrible reviews aplenty (on Trip Advisor) about similar establishments in the vicinity. That's not books, but it's along the same lines and both leave me illin' :)

    1. haha yeah they do that too
      Drug companies, hotels, airlines, vacation spots, etc. all have fake in their cue

  4. Amazon reviews must be a stress
    For authors wanting not a mess
    Competition wanting to be keen
    Can turn sour like a jelly bean

    1. That they do
      They think no one has a clue
      But it can easily be seen
      some just like to be mean

  5. This post for some reason reminds me of the Rolling Stone cover. Everyone thought by giving it negatively publicity no one would buy it and yet sales doubled. I guess waving it around for the world to see created interest. People are crazy.

    1. Yeah that they are
      Near and far
      Bad or good
      Gets in seen in your hood

  6. I don't think I could handle Amazon, I would cry if I get a bad review...

    So, is there a big review mafia out there I wonder, people get paid to leave reviews?

    1. Oh I know more than I let on
      As there are many review mafia's out there we run such a con

  7. I had never thought about this before when reading reviews
    That some reviewers were paid to spew
    Make me look at it with a more skeptical eye now
    Maybe every consumer will now take this vow

    1. Yeah it is what you have to do
      Take a second look at your zoo
      As many are fake
      Or paid for at their lake

  8. its pretty sad the whole review get those that have all their friends write great reviews for them on a sucky ass book, then muck with others by posting negatives, get some lives you know...

    1. Exactly the way to be
      Get a life and go climb a tree
      But they think it is great
      Such is the review fate

  9. Why do such things still amaze me? Well, amaze isn't quite the accurate word, saddens me more. I don't bother with those silly reviews. Word of mouth is still my way in life. I trust my friends,family and connections with bloggers (as I get to know them) I do feel sorry for a person who hires someone to write bad reviews about their competition, I mean that says so much about that person's character. It is beyond, "trying to get ahead." That is stepping on someone else. How can you be proud of yourself when you had to demean another? Oh,so sorry, rambling on this one, it just upsets me so, it is so low and such a bad character flaw.

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    1. Well being self righteous does get you nowhere
      So pulling out some tricks I can see at any lair
      Yet going as far as to pay to leave bad reviews
      I hope it makes them sing the blues
      Ramble away
      And it won't let me go to your bay

  10. I don't do bad reviews... what is the sense in it. If you have nothing good to say then don't say anything..

    1. I give bad reviews of movies and such
      As those greedy sobs get paid way too much

  11. Hi ! Pat Hatt, Miss Priss, and The Cat...
    "Did you know this at your zoo? People that are in direct competition with you pay others to give you a bad review..."

    Wow...I didn't know this at my " zoo " that others were paid to give bad reviews...
    Therefore, my eyebrow will be I'm sure that I will experience stress and some form Of duress...whenever I read any [book] reviews not knowing which [book] review isn't and is true...What's a girl to do..."too ?"
    ...all I can add is... boo hoo !
    deedee :- /

    1. 50% are fake
      So take a second take
      For there are many reasons why
      People are willing to lie

  12. [Note: Oops ! let me re-phrase...
    What's a girl to do..."too ?"
    whenever I read any [book] reviews not knowing which [book] review isn't and is true...
    ...all I can add is... boo hoo ! ]

  13. It is a big racket going on, not much you can do either

    1. Nope, not much at all
      Plenty of tricks at ones hall

  14. Shouldn't you take that as a compliment? When someone cares enough to take the time to hire a third party to give you a bad review that means you are successful. Put your hands in the air, fist pump, high fives all around, you have made it to the big time when ya got the haters man!!!!

    1. Yeah first hate mail
      and now hate reviews
      Surely not a fail
      as I'm giving some poor hater the blues

  15. Those spammers now have a part time job writing reviews!

    1. Good money in it too
      As I have seen at many a zoo

  16. Yes, I read some of the reviews of books; and I don't believe a lot of what I read. You're right....either the competition or someone who is NOT your friend and wants to 'get you' in some way has a chance to have their say. I much more tend to pay attention on Amazon to those 'Amazon certified reviewers' I think they are called....who actually have bought the book on Amazon and are not going in with vile comments just to hurt someone or aren't the person's friend who perhaps even has not read the book or would say it is five stars no matter what. You have made good points. I hope people take note.

    1. ohhhh you better not pay attention to those at all
      There at your hall
      as now a days
      With the review craze
      People not only pay for a review
      But they pay to buy the book in view
      so the fake review is now verified
      And they still lied

  17. I never that that happened, what do they get out of it, is it jealousy?

    1. That and trying to make their looks swell
      By damning yours to hell

  18. You think that's bad?
    I'm being paid to say I like your pad!

    1. You better give me a cut
      Or I'll report you to the blogger hut haha

    2. just take your cut out of my check...
      the money's coming from you, I'll bet.

    3. lol prove it
      I cover my tracks at my pit

  19. I'm not even going to try to rhyme for this post, Pat. It's just so underhanded, and it really ticks me off. As a declared book reviewer, this post sends shivers up my spine, makes my hair stand on end, sends smoke signals out of my ears and irks me no end. Where's the integrity and honest chagrin? Read and share your thoughts. Reviewers aren't supposed to market books. They're supposed to help buyers fulfill the laws of supply and demand, providing useful information so the best of the best rises to the top. I feel a blog post coming on, but I've so many books to read and review yet, I'm not sure now is the time to write it. Best of Friday to you, Pat. Thanks for highlighting this important issue today!

    1. Wow went on a rant there
      Fun to see at my lair
      Many many reviews are fake
      But in the dough they rake
      so people buy
      All over the amazon sky

  20. I had a similar thing happen when my very first comic book was published. The publisher didn't put any ads in the magazine, so they trashed us.

    1. What a douche bag thing to do
      All comes down to greed at ones zoo

  21. Your timely post has reminded me to do more book reviews of the summer reads I have been devouring. Without pay, of course.

    1. Well at least honest you will be
      Without pay at your sea

  22. orlin N cassie...we haz hurd that lotz...

    peepuls pay peepul ta give their stuff a good ree view then they pay peepulz ta give stuff a bad ree view then de peepulz who wuz paid ta give a good ree view act shoe a lee hates de good ree view product like de bad ree view peepulz loves de bad ree view product....

    N we R like... ya noe what

    peepul R stoooooooooooopid

    hay, hope everee one haza grate week oh end; eat plentee oh ham samiches !

    1. haha stooooopid is the right word
      Humans are absurd

  23. Right- read and review by yourself
    write testimonies and be glad,
    'cause someone's hatred
    works as an ad -
    means, you - popular poet!

    1. Yep that is true
      The hatred just helps my zoo

  24. I'm all for competition, but I HATE companies that slam the other. When we were switching gymnastics classes for my daughter he asked why. Simply because they were closer. He then quipped that they were "better!" I almost didn't finish signing her up there because I hate that we're better mentality. I'll be the judge if you are better or not. Don't need your smug comments about the competition.

    1. Yeah it does make them seem ummm douche bag like
      Can see why you wanted to almost tell them to take a hike

  25. I know people like that and it really annoys me as well Pat so I can relate to this post buddy. I also loved the random shot at the People of Walmart haha, that website is so weird, you get some seriously strange people in the store!

    1. haha yeah I have to give them a shot every now and then
      As it is such a strange den

  26. Reviewers remain anonymous, so there is a tendency to be cruel. Just be honest and helpful is my motto.

    1. Yeah they can be cruel with ease
      I'll just send them fleas

  27. So far my reviews have all been swell,
    And they make me feel better than words can tell.
    But you're saying people might shoot me down
    Just to turn THEIR sales around?
    I say toads like that can go to hell.

    1. Yeah they just might
      Which is a fright
      And I agree
      To hell they can go with glee

  28. Bad reviews by competitors....sick and wrong.

  29. One bad review is better than a mile high stack of rejection letters that keep folks from reading what you write.

    1. One way to look at it
      Even fake reviews can be a hit

  30. Fake reviews not surprising
    they want to create an uprising
    but, whether good or bad it still
    creates a you purr

    When it comes to books, I read
    the back if it interests me then
    I give it a flow, if not I let it go
    or preview the first few pages
    if it hooks me then I'm willing
    to part with some wages...

    this happens in many industries
    as everyone is trying to get ahead
    they plan their attacks so consumers
    can be what they said
    buyers beware of the snares

    I hope people aren't doing this to you
    as this will never makes me
    feel sort of blue..

    Have a good night!

    1. haha oh i have had it done
      At least a few have given it a run
      But doesn't bother me
      Just adds to the pile at my sea
      And yeah it is an age old thing
      Consumers have to be aware of their fake ring

    2. that is not nice what they have done
      but, I am sure you will still have fun
      just doing what you like under your sun..

      Have a good night!

    3. That I will
      As it fits the bill

  31. i hear the word zoo
    and must think of poo
    i'm a lookie loo
    and highly suspected it was placed by you
    five words away i knew
    instead i'm the only one left holding the doodie doo

    1. Geez you have it on the brain
      I hope you have no pain
      They make pills for that
      Trust the cat

  32. Love your new masthead,
    everyone is feeling blasted
    but not plastered
    With their master-ed

  33. Those fake reviews at Yelp
    Are why Yelp's no monger any help :-(

    Fake reviews at Amazon really fry the Human's butt. Customer reviews are a good idea, but it seems there's no way to ensure integrity. Sigh. People wreck everything. Cats should be in charge.

    1. haha with that i agree
      Everything is wrecked by humanity

  34. Did you hear? There was a book denouncing some of the recent US spying atrocities.

    Suddenly a steady stream of bad reviews from questionable IPs started coming in. Not suspicious or subtle at all.

    1. haha oh yeah not questionable at all
      Paid idiots to make it fall

  35. commercialization at its height..
    everybody wants more..


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