Stupid Robot Thing Here At My Wing!

Now since Pat can only type with one arm and if he didn't type the cat's rhymes, I would do him harm, many people told us about dictation software. So we tried it at our lair. You can see the result below. I'll let you read while I go eat a crow.

This thing is to buy the laugh.
Wow, computer you have the brains of a calf.
Got up a cannot leave a lot.
So I take it you are not hot to trot?

Keating got a pretty minor who cooked up.
So what did Keating serve in a cup?
Can a lot operate not acted on.
You are clearly nothing more than a pawn.

Karen Bartlett in the Big Apple way to go.
Where do you get these names from at my show?
Gobbled up out of the frying pan.
So are you saying you want to eat a man?

Robert a liberal blueprint of a girl level head.
So you're going all political? Oh the dread.
BW really don't have room.
That is just all doom and gloom.

D data may be the only delivered tabla trouble.
Somehow I think I will leave that buried in rubble.
Couple…… Digital to burglary little.
After you said couple was there spittle?

Campylobacter diluted the drink.
Sounds like a weird lobster in the sink.
To double-dip I can completely vulnerable to cope.
Well I guess it's better than being addicted to soap.

Cabell, To be double would need a reliable dependable.
The fact that you can even type is commendable.
About anything he can open a couple Will, comes down.
Do I want to know what comes down in computer town?

Keeping cattle Company coupled I can meet applicable Canadian annual dues.
With that line on a date I'm not sure how you can lose.
Keep the capital, coupled back of the applicable crap.
Crap is sure spread acrossed your map.

Lack of Omega back on the back at the Cuyahoga local back of a Package you got.
Wow! The run on sentences keep coming out of your butt.
Two, coupled I told technical contact: a star.
You clearly have been to one too many a bar.

I am I would have had a little animal telephone.
I hope those hotlines are nothing but a dial tone.
To the deputy back P by Indubitable bilateral read.
I never again letting you loose on my feed.

So there you go folks if you have no access to blokes, simply turn on the oh so great dictation feature that comes with your machine. You will have quite the interesting conversation with your screen. I thought I hacked into a newsfeed or something at first. Have you ever tried to see your computer's dialogue burst? Thankfully Dragon Dictation does the trick. It still screws up but it doesn't sound like a hick. Is campylobacter a lad or a lass or something more crass? Sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. I have a friend that uses it and while she like it, she says it creates a lot of typos.
    I can see why.
    At least yours are funny!

    1. haha yeah it does create a ton
      But at least it can be fun

  2. campylowbacter sounds like you are saying chewbacca, so the pat has only one wing? i think its called dragon if i am not mistaken, aaron schilling uses it, which is pretty wild considering the complexity of his style, i think i'll skip it...i would hate to see what i might say...

    1. haha could turn into a good verse
      Or make you shout out a curse
      Never knew he used that
      Especially with all the crazy at his mat

  3. Dictated before only to a secretary
    A dictation robot I'm a wee bit wary
    Devoid of color
    That secretaries offer
    Sterile and impersonal that's the worry


    1. But it helps the arm
      Bringing less harm
      So works for me
      And is easy
      Still some words raise alarm

  4. Good Morning,

    Some of the words may get twisted
    as the data is listed but, at
    least you have some assistance

    This is a good thing for you to have
    as then you can blabber more at you sea
    and with your arm that is easier indeed
    as less has to be keyed...

    One wing or two wings you still have
    many verses to sing..
    as the cat rhymes with zing..

    Catch you later gator...

    1. Yeah they get twisted
      Like many I listed
      Better than what comes with computer though
      That crap sinks to a whole new low
      And it helps plenty of verse come due
      And I can blabber too
      Plus if not for it
      Be less posts at my pit

  5. A robot is a motley mess
    What is the use I do confess
    For life to go sharp as a knife
    You're better off with a stepford wife

    1. haha they were scary
      Things could get hairy
      At least the robot lets me type
      And increases my hype

  6. You have definitely given good reason NOT to get this "Dragon." Heck, I have enough trouble typing on my iPad. I just posted on Brian's blog this morning and am now embarrassed at what the iPad deemed to write. Sigh. And then there is the iPhone Siri which is as useless as can be. So many of these 'helpful' robots are FAR from helpful, I think. Somehow I missed the reason why you can only type with one arm!! Have a good 'dragon' day at your bay!

    1. Yeah they have no idea at all
      But then they are brainless at ones hall
      Still dragon is way better than normal computer crap
      That they give free across the map

  7. Maybe you should get a robot arm to help your writing avoid any harm. I love this post though, especially the little bits of alliteration thrown in there, really impressive.

    1. Hmmm that may cost a ton
      To give a run
      But could be fun
      To get done

  8. Crimplecracker goes the Cat
    whilst rhyming at his timely mat
    with an air in the tail down he
    runs dipdoodly as a scrum.

    Wilter Cronkiteabitty reported that
    the skiffy overturned the liffy
    with the Cat on his life raft.

    And up he fell into the ocean
    dragging his boggleaboo below him
    and almost drown he did
    in his ocean full of tears.

    But Flamadamdiddle came by
    playing on a happy lye
    to grab the Cat
    and take him back
    to his simperabubbleliciouslyfantastic
    rhyming fat.

    1. Wow quite the tale
      You set sail
      And all without a dictation to talk
      As you gave your squawk
      I like the boggleaboo
      That could be used easily at my zoo
      Along with whoopdi friggin doo
      And could make fun of you

  9. It would probably say it only types what it hears,
    so the problem would be your diction, dear.

    1. Hell no.
      Can say it clear as day at my show
      Still screws it up a ton
      Only one way to say ass under my sun
      Damn thing doesn't even say something that rhymes
      Most times

  10. I'm glad you're not going to slay the Dragon!

    1. Might get a burn
      With that I will skip my turn

    2. dragons are tough

      especially fighting them in the buff

    3. They could nip snip
      With a move of their lip

  11. I use this feature on my phone sometimes - dictating a text
    The typos are aplenty, making me wonder what next
    I've never tried it on the computer though
    Might make for an interesting show
    What happened to your arm? I must have missed that.
    Were you doing something borderline illegal, Pat?

    1. Yeah it screws up a ton
      No matter how you give it a run
      Arm screwed up like everything else here
      With my broke little rear haha

  12. "Robert a liberal blueprint of a girl level head."

    Preach it, brother! He's saying what we're all thinking!

    Your fatal flaw was being Canadian. My wife is Mexican, and those things never understand her. EVER. And she doesn't even have any kind of accent.

    1. Damn, my Canadian slang screws it up you say?
      I'll have to go all mean redneck at my bay

  13. A writer with one arm... has got to be a challenge. I hope it's temporary and better soon!

    1. haha been that way over a year
      So probably screwed I fear

  14. Only one arm?
    What could be the harm?
    You probably have the knack...
    you only need one hand to wha...
    Oh. Sorry. Never mind.

    1. hahaha yeah one gets jealous of the other though
      When they decide to reach down low

  15. My husband has been thinking of giving it a try. I don't really need to, I type so little but I think he needs to read this and research some before he begins.
    Hey, so what were you saying that it gave you 'campylobacter'?

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    1. haha who knows
      But capylobacter surely flows
      Damn thing is good
      When one is understood

    2. I can't tell you how many times I said, 'campylobacter' trying to figure out what it might be in the English world. Totally stumped :)

    3. haha yeah no idea at all
      Computer is screwing with us with such a call

  16. Typing with one arm
    sure causes sufficient harm
    But your rhyme's never gonna loose the charm
    So many hurdles you still gotto disarm
    No need to stay uptight
    Everything's gonna be alright
    Though this dictation s/w accomplishes for the plight
    One might end up doing it all again...just to get it right!

    1. Yeah it can drain
      The left at my lane
      But it has been a year
      So I make due with my broken rear

  17. That's too funny.

    "Keeping cattle Company coupled" Try to say that fast five times. :D

  18. "So you're going all political?" I agree totally with "Oh the dread."

    1. Yeah no need for that dread
      Rather go to bed

  19. My husband uses his on his iphone a lot. It's a wonder to me that it types it out right because he doesn't speak clearly a lot of the time. I hate going to the drive through with him because they have him repeat the order several times because they don't understand him. Got forbid they ever switch the drive through order takers out with this machine. We'll be there all day!

    1. Well if it works it works
      Sure he must get many smirks
      When through the drive through
      And they make him repeat it a time or two

  20. honestly...the dictation software on my iphone is fantastic... what freaks me out is the automatic spelling correction...really... i had some accidents already with this...ha... turned it off pretty quickly

    1. haha wish mine worked like that
      It works okay for the cat
      And better than the crap windows gives me
      But still a bit touchy

  21. Can dictation software decipher accents and southern drawls? If not, it could get kind of interesting! (What happened to your arm? Did I miss something?)

    1. Not sure on that
      Doubtful at ones mat
      Busted for a year
      Screwed I fear

  22. I've never tried it, I have thought about it for my freelance work but I didn't have much faith in it working correctly.

    1. The dragon dictation is okay
      The rest is crap at ones bay

  23. orlin N cassie...what de be jezuz ya meen yur gonna go eat a crow

    has ya total lee loozed it ore what !!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~

    1. haha well eating it
      Will make sure it never visits your pit

  24. I am such a hick I never use anything like that... and probably never will. Once a hick, always a hick

  25. I haven't done this thing yet Pat but it looks messy to me ~

    I would rather write the words slowly but surely ~

    1. When your arm tingles no matter how slow you type
      You learn to use things like Skype haha

  26. I didn't like Dragon, or it didn't like me. Too soft a voice to get it to work. Than too many errors, and now loud noises make my curser jump around on the screen. Don't know how to get rid of the damn thing! Sorry about the arm! Be well!

    1. haha no noises here
      Thankfully get a cheer
      But it does screw up a ton
      When given a run

  27. I bet you do have some interesting conversations with your dictation program. grin.
    What happened to your arm?

    1. Interesting indeed
      Screwed up royally with the rest of me at my feed lol

  28. U mean U can talk to the computer
    And it writes what you say?
    Or sort of anyway.
    What a happy day
    With a keyboard
    That stays out of the way.

  29. It can work great than again it can be a pain

  30. haha, are you still rambling
    dictation sure is scrambling :)


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