A Date With The Hate!

So it has been a while since we went to what to do mile. I figured it was time to go that way with the hateful people on display the other day. They just call on in and sure say words that are considered a sin.

What to do, What to do
When hateful people call you

What to do?
The phone goes moo,
Or whatever else you have set to,
There at your zoo.

And on the other end,
Is someone who's gone around the bend.
You never heard from them before.
But they still blame you at your work shore.

The obvious click,
Could beat the dick.
Or you could yell back,
Giving them some flack.

But that is no fun.
Why not give the hate such a run?
Simply turn it around on them,
It may or may not ease their flem,

Yet it will be fun to do.
Let's see how you can follow through.
Repeat what they say.
Or ask a question with a question at your work bay.

Could ask them what they had for dinner.
That is sure to be a winner.
Could tell them about the weather.
Or ask them if they look good in leather.

Could tell them it is publishers clearinghouse.
And they just won a golden mouse.
Or they just won a free trip.
But lost it with what came off their lip.

The best of all,
Just read the writing on the wall.
Take every single thing they say,
And go literal at your bay.

Like if they were to say ass,
You could tell the lad or lass,
The donkeys all ran away.
They will have to try back another day.

But if all else fails,
And they still give wails.
Tell them they are absurd,
Then just flip the bird.

What? They can't see you anyway at your work hut. So let them be stuck in their rut. Of course I'm just want to vent and some you want to tell to get bent. But there are more fun ways to go about it and maybe relieve their fit. See no need to talk crass. Now the cat is done being a helpful little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Yes, it's no fun if one is to yell
    Turn around with nothing to tell
    It'll soon cease
    Do as we please
    Life goes on as usual sure as hell


    1. That it does
      As away they buzz
      Just sit the phone down
      Let them frown
      And pick some fuzz

  2. Usually the really snarky folks are nice underneath all the crap. It just takes so long to get to the nice, that most people don't bother.

    There are some people though, who are just downright mean to the core, and to them I go with your tip to call them absurd and flip them the bird. ;)

    1. haha yeah some take some growing
      To really get showing
      The rest I agree
      Flip them a birdie

  3. One thing you
    can do is
    say with an accent foreign
    no Englais, no Englais.
    they will hang up
    on you

    Confuse them
    with conflabularly
    answer with
    Pat's Mortuary,
    you stab 'em
    we slab 'em.

    Tell them of
    your thong
    how it holds
    your d**g
    and cradles it so
    till it's time
    to let it flow.

    There's so
    many ways to
    drive haters away
    and still laugh
    the live long day.

    1. Anne
      I'm laughing at your thong one. I can just hear Pat doing that. LOL

    2. LMAO yep the thong I'd do
      Not afraid at my zoo
      They'd quickly hang up
      Or spit coffee back in their cup

  4. I always like to kill 'em with kindness 'cause that really does kill the nasty bitches.

    1. haha yeah they get even more pissed off
      and away they go to scoff

  5. Life's too short to call someone and yell
    Living angry like that must be hell
    It's definitely hard sometimes to bit your tongue
    I s/pose the only think you can do is drink a glass of rum

    1. haha then I would not bite my tongue
      On rum words would be sprung

  6. That is confusing to say the least
    How to get rid of the obvious beast
    All methods must work under the sun
    Each day at work give a new one a run

    1. Keep on giving them a try
      Then away they will go and cry

  7. Why would someone call just to yell at you?
    Tell them you'd like to order a pizza!

    1. Beats me why they do
      But many do at ones work zoo
      lol that would be great
      Could get more hate

  8. Hey Cat. I posted today and my blog WILL NOT update. I've asked for help on my post. I think you know more about this shite than anyone else. HELP!!

    1. Hopefully he can Anne because if anybody can Pat can!

    2. Gave some over at your sea
      The things that have worked for me

  9. You never know what's going on in a mean person's life
    perhaps that person's day is filled with strife
    or perhaps he even just lost his wife

    Sometimes it is better to take higher ground
    and kill them with kindness this time around
    that is the best way the yellers to astound!

    1. Yeah that is very true
      Never know what came due
      So can be best to stay on the higher ground
      Then mutter later when you hear that click sound

  10. and that my friend is why I have called ID and voice mail. If I don't recognize the number I don't answer it.

    1. Have caller id
      But that doesn't matter at ones work sea

  11. Sucks when they yell but can be fun to torture back

  12. Can I try these suggestions with specific family members??? :)

  13. I use to just grin and bear it at work, the grin helped me get through it and typically enabled me to keep my job but oh many times I was thinking some good things to spout :)

    1. haha yep the thoughts are sure there
      But don't want to let them blare and get fired from ones work lair

  14. I just put the phone down and let them talk to themselves. Rude, rude folks!

  15. I give them a smile, that goes many a mile, but in my head, the things I said, would blush a cat, maybe even a rat :)


  16. Deciding what to do is making my head hurt. :D

    1. haha that could work too
      Say your head hurts and then click comes due

  17. I am pretty polite normally. But when this happens, I thank them for thinking of me, and hang up. Too much work.

    1. haha yeh it can be much work
      Hanging up is a perk

  18. Oh, those haters can be rude
    ringing in with a bad attitude
    as they shuffle their deck
    just let it flow, what the heck
    ranting away with such magnitude
    put them on hold, sweet solitude
    then book your flight to Malibu
    sunny days, feeling renewed...

    1. haha oh that would be nice
      But Malibu is a steep price
      And yeah just let it flow
      They will run out of breath sooner or later at their show

    2. Malibu may be out of reach
      but, think we could find a beach
      by a certain sea...hmmm all you
      need is a hammock..

    3. haha I think we could find one
      Although with my tieing skills the hammock may come undone haha

  19. When that stuff happens usnkitties meow into the phone!

  20. Or you can ask them to wait while you go take a dump, and then don't come back.

  21. I used to work in customer service, but it was face-to-face and not over the phone. I'd handle them all differently. Some I'd give the "kill 'em with kindness" routine, and with others I'd put my foot down... figuratively.

    1. you mean realistically, your foot was up? ha.

    2. No, although sometimes I wanted to put my foot up... up their butts.

    3. Hopefully you had socks and steel toe boots
      If you were going to stick it up the gazoo of the brutes
      Worked customer service too
      Oh the crazies that come due

  22. Not going to lie Pat, I'm so glad I don't answer these calls often. When I'm home we get some but my dad always refuses to answer. Funny post buddy.

    1. At work have to answer the crap
      So I take such a lap

  23. orlin N casie....de food serviss gal says a grate way ta get em ta shut up at werk iz ta pratciss jingle bells ore sum other kinda toon with de keypad on de fone....
    896 354 258 71
    144 58799 ..44458763 pound sign

    N speekin oh hay, hope everee one haza grate week oh end, eat plentee oh ham samiches N friez !!

    1. haha never thought of that
      Jingle bell rock could be done by the cat

  24. If you ask what they had for dinner, they may ask for a Facebook friend request so they can spam you with pictures of their dinner.

    1. Hmmmm that is very true
      But I have no facebook at my zoo

  25. I always screen my calls....the answering machine is great for that. People that really know me call my cell.

    You need a door mat that says "Pound Sand".
    That would be great at your land. lol....

    1. haha that would be great
      But I have something else with pound sand on my plate
      And at work have to pick up
      Or suffer a firing hiccup haha

  26. It seems kindness - best rated
    when deal with hatred.

  27. I'm usually pretty good at defusing mean awful bitter rude customers when they call, but sometimes they just don't want to be happy. So I either, 1) Say I'm hanging up, 2) Make sure no one's around and accidentally slam the phone down, 3) Raise my voice (rare), 4) Cry (very rare).

    #4 has only happened twice, I think, but both times it has been VERY effective in making the customer suddenly be very nice to me. Unfortunately I can't do it at will. The customer really has to be mean enough to hurt my feelings to make me unprofessional enough to cry. Darn it. LOL

    1. haha damn you need to learn that on cue
      Then no more mean people will ever come due

  28. It's nice to "accidentally" lose
    The phone signal when not amused
    And dealing haters or stupid fools,
    evil people, smarmy tools.
    'Cuz profanity and hanging up will do
    But they're not as effective as "Say what, jackass? I can't hear you!"

    PS EXCELLENT video in your CassaStorm post! Very well done and amusing.


    1. haha that is true
      Let the hearing go at your zoo
      Then give a little swear
      And ruffle their hair
      Glad I could amuse
      As I ninja wannabe abuse

  29. why people make these to you? I don't understand is really crazy!
    I hate some cals too!

  30. You have my sincere sympathy. I hate it when that happens.

    1. Yeah not fun
      But it can be fun to give making fun a run

  31. I knew you and the cat would know how to handle the situation!

  32. Some people have no life and nothing better to do than try to make others feel as bad as they feel about themselves.

    1. Yeah that is just what they try and do
      Flip the bird or go click if not in view

  33. Nothing worse than the hateful person who preaches love thy neighbor

    but doesn't love the person that has a different faith, viewpoint, or is a unmarried woman in labor.

    1. Yeah those are a whole other thing
      Their neck I'd like to ring

  34. Ever since caller ID
    The Human answers no call, you see,
    From a number she doesn't agree
    Comes from someone that she
    Already knows, and even then
    Only if she really calls them a friend.
    But you know what, there's even more!
    If she's not in the mood to listen to bores
    She just lets it ring and doesn't do a thing!

    1. haha the way to be
      At your sea
      No need for even a click
      If up you don't pick

  35. Replying back with messages of love and acceptance confuse the hell out of these guys and it is absolutely hilarious watching their confused faces.

  36. Kissing a cat is the answer to everything :)

    1. That is all it takes
      even to why there are earthquakes?

  37. if someone is hateful on the phone i just tend to be super super super nice!! smoother them with niceness.

    1. haha and then they may throw up
      Or want to throw their coffee cup


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