Away They Crow Ho Ho Ho!

The cat was lounging about when he heard a shout. I looked out the patio door and it was those two fools once more. I bet from the title you can guess who. They were both there dressed as Santa outside my zoo. Gung being rather large fit the bill well. Ho, well at least he could ring the bell.

"Do you think Santa will notice, Gung? I am about to pop a lung."

"Ho, just keep on ho ho hoing. The real Santa will be showing."

"You really think this is the year he finds me? I bet I get the biggest Christmas tree."

"He goes ho ho ho every year. He is searching for you and hopes you are near."

The two actually thought Santa was calling for Ho each year when he let his Christmas cheer flow. How stupid can a pair be? Very stupid, silly me.

'Ho, look there is Santa in disguise."

"Gung, he is covered in flies. Are you sure that is him?"

"He is just hiding and has let his Christmas lights dim."

The pair ran across the street, Gung holding tight on his collection plate, ready to meet and greet. I guess Santa's disguise is to be a bum. He was sure sucking back the rum.

"Santa, I am here. You have looked for me every year."

"Ho, you have finally been found. Come on Santa, let's hear a ho ho hoing sound."

The two stood over the guy as he began to snore. They quickly started to bore. They tapped him on the head. They even yanked his beard, thinking he was dead.

"We may be too late, Ho. Looks like Santa has suffered a fatal blow."

"Gung, this can't be. Santa has always been looking for me. We can't lose now. We have to wake him up some how. Santa needs to tell my why he yells my name as he flies through the sky."

The pair splashed water on his face. They yelled and danced in place. That was a sight I would like to erase from my mind. I guess they did a dance of some kind. Then with a twinkle in his eye. The drunk turned out to be rather spry. He hopped to his feet and stole Gung's collection plate, running away at an alarming rate.

"Santa stole my money!"

"Gung, this is not funny."

"Santa is always calling you, Ho. Because he wants to rob you with his twinkling glow."

"Santa is a thief. Good grief."

The two took off yelling at the drunk. But he had far too much spunk. They would never going to catch him. Boy, their lights are pretty dim. But at least they gave to the needy, who was really speedy. Maybe one day their stupidity will pass. Although I would not bet on it with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. Santa the thief
    Good grief
    Santa in da skies
    Would be a surprise
    Ho ho ho
    What do you know
    Not Green Giant
    He aint too reliant.

    1. Step on your toe
      Green giant foe
      Give you a kick
      Rather slick
      Take your pick
      You could click

  2. ha. when santa is around i bet he Ho is running all around
    with all the HO HO HO, hey i guess santa could be homeless
    you never know, after all that work in one night
    i might tie one on....

    1. haha yeah you just never know
      He sure get to Ho though

  3. That Santa must be Billie Bob, I saw him on the screen
    He was the worst Santa the world has ever seen
    To steal Gung's plate takes lots of guts
    Even though they are two nuts
    Ring the bell, give Ho the heave
    Start all over without a by your leave.

    1. Could be that guy
      That is the worst santa to fly the sky
      Not sure he could run fast though
      Might get easily caught by Ho

  4. Manzi read my mind
    Sounds like Billie Bob or one of his kind :)

  5. Some of those guys they get for Santa leave a lot to be desired.

  6. Gung and Ho trying to be too smart
    Trying to forget ho ho ho that's hard
    Real Santa
    From afar
    Sees their guiles even before they start


  7. this is a curious post but I know you dont like Santa,and Christmas (yo are a grinch??)

    1. Gung and Ho are curious you say?
      The grinch isn't at my bay
      No aliens looking things allowed
      4's a crowd

    2. the curious is you not Santa lol

  8. Santa is jail suit orange just doesn't cut it!

  9. Santa in disguise could be a fake
    stealing Gung's collection plate
    I think Santa made a terrible mistake
    running around live coverage at eight
    Gung and Ho two crazy flakes
    Santa may soon be working for the state
    making license

    Perhaps Santa is just poor lost his job
    due to corporate greed now he has to rob
    they stole his craft, lining their pockets
    traveling the world in their space rockets
    he needs to feed his hungry reindeer
    but, first he may need a ice cold beer

    1. haha you have santa down
      There at your town
      Putting the poor guy in jail
      Where he will wail
      No ho ho ho's
      Oh where that goes
      I will reframe
      And keep it tame
      Could be one in the same
      Fame to his name
      Just broke on the street
      Unable to eat
      So goes for a beer
      Whenever saps like those two are near

  10. poor Ho may never know!
    but the truth is
    It's the corporate dollar
    that makes Santa holler
    and liquor makes
    the night go quicker

    1. Yeah corporate greed
      Is the only deed
      That is done
      As ho ho ho is given ar un

  11. Santa sees all

    especially in his chair at the mall

  12. You said,
    Santa stole the collecting plate
    How sad,
    Now he will ask for donation
    for holiday celebration
    sure - the real one - in the movie
    we like to see things groooovy.

  13. Replies
    1. That it is indeed
      They can't reach full speed

  14. Replies
    1. Hopefully in a cheery way
      And not some creepy way at your bay

  15. oh ha...santa comes in many different shapes... better not wake him before it's time for him to do his work..smiles

    1. Or he'll steal your dough
      And run with a ho ho ho

  16. I have seen such fake looking Santas it is amazing that kids continue to believe!!

  17. While Gung and Ho are quite the pair
    Finding Santa asleep is very rare
    I hope they recover the shock and awe
    That they still can see Christmas without the smallest little flaw.

    1. I don't know
      Next they may try to step on santa's toe

  18. lol Santa Thief..Reminds me of that drunk santa picture that never fails to make its way around the internet this time of year. lol

    1. lol yeah that is always there
      At some point for us to stare

  19. Poor Ho must be so confused! But he lost his faith in Santa pretty quick. Maybe Santa just BORROWED the money, he is after all good St. Nick.

    1. haha could go place a bet
      Then double it with no need to fret

  20. Good ole drunken Santa's. What would Christmas be without them? Incomplete. But, I must say I don't think I ever actually ran into one. Still, when I think of a drunk Santa I think of that Twilight Zone episode with Art Carney, I think he was a drunken Santa.

    1. Not sure I have seen drunken santa in real life
      He must be home with the wife

  21. My oh my, look what I missed today!
    Sorry I was at an auction and far away!

  22. We've seen a Santa or two that could have had flasks of Rum stashed in their little red coat. ;)

  23. Santa's bright nose
    As red as a rose
    Might for sure come
    From a bottle of rum

    And (horrors to suggest)
    But maybe, I've guessed,
    Santa shouts "Ho ho ho"
    'Cause Mrs. Santa's not a pro.

    Ooh, we's norty today.

    1. haha that you are
      At my bar
      Hope his ho ho ho's are cheap
      And he isn't a creep

  24. Looks like the Santas you are talking about are unhappy in their 'normal' lives. Looks bad to me that unhappy persons bring joy in the time of Christmas.

  25. Christmas is in the air :)
    I am getting the vibes of that.. !!

  26. Santa came to work yesterday and the hysteria was wild. Like the Beatles for the younger kids, and that's putting it mild.

  27. Thankfully we haven't seen a bad Santa yet. But my husband did get his hand smacked by one of his elf helpers at the mall when he went to take a picture of our kids on Santa's lap. I guess you aren't allowed to take pictures of your kids with Santa at the mall unless you are paying their sky high photo prices first.

    1. Oh well that is a racket
      Take a pic and an elf will attack it


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