dVerse April Fools Are Here In November I Fear!

It just has to be a joke watching you humans as you choke over a whole dollar off. Did your brains get left in some horse trough? At least you are dVerse as many surely curse.

It has to be April fools.
Look at this sale on tools.
I'll stab you in the eye,
If you take my 3rd pair of pliers, guy.

Oh look it's a towel.
Let's all give a howl.
It is only a buck.
Touch it and I'll whack you like a hockey puck.

A big TV.
That causes me glee.
55 inch is so hard to see.
I really need 60.

Get out of my way.
I was first here yesterday.
I stood here all night.
Hypothermia is no fright.

Do I look like I care,
That I am walking around in my underwear?
Touch those clothes,
And I'll break your toes.

I really need that candy.
It will come in handy.
10 cents off is great.
I'll be ready for next Halloween at this rate.

Touch the last cream corn,
And you'll wish you were never born.
Redneck Folklore will pun you to death.
Or at least until she loses her breath.

Taking all the cat food.
That is just rude.
Wait, it is the same price.
You got beat twice.

Get out of my way.
I need that toy today.
Who cares if I could've got it last week.
I would rather fight over it with a geek.

I am king of the mountain.
I get the two dollar fountain.
This thing truly rules.
I only wish it were April fools.

Oh what you humans do to save a buck or two, when really a lot of it is crap. But one falls for it like a sap. I'll sit home like a smart feline and just shop online. You never know though what might show. If you gloat you may find a lass with gas among the mass,who passes the gas to disperse the mass. Then you can pass. Just a tip from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. Replies
    1. No #1 regained
      Starting all over again


    2. After waffles stepped in
      He couldn't do the 2nd win

  2. Can be rather funny to sit back and watch

    1. As long as none are near
      And you don't see the crack of a big rear

  3. Thought you were describing Black Friday, but not enough violence.

    1. True, should be a bit more violent at my zoo
      But want to keep it semi pg to view

  4. saving..
    that's how we survive :P

    But I hate moneygrubbers.. as much as cat does :)

  5. I'm still mad at that bitch who tried to steal that very last can of creamed corn right off the shelf last year. If I see her this year it's gonna be an all out hair pullin' cat fight.

    1. hahaha could end up on youtube at your sea
      That would be fun to watch your cat fight spree

  6. ha. scary indeed, it goes on sale, we buy enough to stock our house and the local jail, i will admit to watching things the boys would like til they go on sale and ferreting them away for the holidays, ha alex, funny and true, soon enough that horror will come due....

    1. Good luck with such horror down there
      I'll sit and watch at my lair
      Yep, fill a jail indeed
      Thinking we all need

  7. Going through all the bother
    For what, just to save a dollar
    Part of the fun
    For everyone
    Many odd things to clamor for


    1. They clamor away
      Night and day
      Sit in line
      To save a buck is divine

  8. When people see an advertisement for a big sale
    Their enthusiasm becomes stronger than winds that are gale
    Just wait to see the lines during Black Friday shopping
    Those stores will be a hopping

    1. Hopping and breaking in too
      As people flood them like a backed up loo

  9. The hoarder needs deep shelves for porridge
    And all the other things they forage
    Where do you keep it, on a big warehouse floor?
    Must have a place with a very large door
    For big trucks to enter and unload all your stuff
    Soon you'll want it to vanish with smoke and a puff
    But you still read the ads in search of a sale
    Ah ha you have found it, a buck off on a whale

    1. Wow, a whale?
      I'll set sail
      I mean with such a hole
      When out for a stroll
      To watch it blow
      Would make an easy shower show

  10. a big TV that causes glee

    in the living room for all to see

  11. This post reminds me of Black Friday. I hate Black Friday. :)

  12. I do most of my shopping online to avoid this kind of crap. The only thing I shopping I do every week is grocery - and I hate it!

    1. haha another grocery shopping hater
      It can be quite the crowded crater

  13. I guess this is about the whole Black Friday craze huh Pat? You're right though, a bunch of fools squabbling over "bargains" haha.

  14. Ha, could be funny
    to see what we would buy
    where/when all - free,
    without money...

    1. That would be interesting indeed
      Watch all run at top speed

  15. Online shopping is my choice, too!
    Doing all the Christmas shopping that way at my zoo!
    The deals are just as good
    and with many free shipping is understood!

    1. The way to go
      Although shipping is a pain at my show
      Especially when ordering from down there
      When the dirty sobs let me at my lair lol

    2. yes, but friends can rescue you
      if they hear your boo hoos

    3. haha that they can indeed
      Keeping things flowing at our feed

  16. It sounds like you have weathered some sales and pushy customers.

    1. Been through both indeed
      Way back when at my feed

  17. What an appropriate post for this time of year!
    Black Friday is so very near!
    But here in the good ole USA,
    why wait for that very special day?
    We can start shopping at 6:00 a.m.
    hours and hours before the turkey Amen!
    All to save a buck or two!
    Woo woo!
    Not me! I'll avoid it at all cost!
    By the hunt to save a dollar I will not be bossed!
    Take care ~
    at your lair!

    1. Yeah just to save a buck
      Whoopi is what I cluck
      Go and order online
      All done and can relax like the feline

  18. I've never been a fan of standing in line,
    Online shopping is more than fine.
    No shopping for me on Thanksgiving Day,
    Even if it means less dollars to pay.

  19. Most buying has nothing to do with need;
    It's more about gobs of greed.
    Besides, sales are so much fun...
    Can't resist crap that's two for one!

    1. Greed is the way
      When sales are on display
      But the only one to win
      Are the stores that suck you in

  20. We should all learn from the cat as we approach frenzied shopping time!

    1. The cat is wise
      Must be those half eaten flies

  21. haha....sometime the pirate genes break through when stuff goes on sale...i always ask myself if i would buy it for the usual price as well... if not i double re-think if i really need it (and ok - sometimes i really do...haha.. smiles)

    1. haha well if you really do
      Then worth it at your zoo

  22. Big TVs these days
    Are really me
    And getting one of the kids
    To large the writing on the screens
    Good news is that everyone looks good
    Blurry and pretty and unblemished
    as they should!

    1. That they do
      When big in view
      But they are still as fake
      As a plastic cake

  23. I agree! We must shop online or we don't shop at all!

  24. not having cash is the best way to avoid that crash

    1. haha yeah that sure works too
      We know the feeling at our zoo

  25. 55 inches is hard to see?
    Really. Crap, I'd like to see three!
    It would bring me such glee.
    Oh gee.
    You're talking TV.
    My bad.


    1. Three
      Can you even see?
      Shouldn't it at least be five?
      But what do I know at my hive

    2. Well, yeah, it really should be
      At least 5 to see
      But beggers can't be chosers
      So make that three
      And a magnifying glass
      For me.

    3. haha just don't us it in the sun
      May burn more than a bun

  26. orlin N cassie...N just think...all this madness startz in full force in about......5 dayz....ooopz..noe wait...R bad...that storez sale startz in three...coz they gotta get a headz up on storez 4,7 N 1


    1. 5 days it has begun
      Sooner even under your sun

  27. it is crazy to be out shopping this time of year. I'm so glad I'm able to do all my shopping online these days. No crowds, no crazy pushing people, and I don't have to fight over the sale items.

    1. Yeah much much easier these days
      Shopping online pays

  28. I can remember shopping one time. I picked something up and a lady actually grabbed it out of my hands. I was so stunned, I just walked away.

    1. haha should have gave her a smack
      And took it back

  29. In the windows of shops
    one word never fails;
    everyone stops
    for a sign saying SALE.

  30. Ah, the frenzy of a sale on something we never even needed. I really enjoyed this one :)

    1. Yeah, never need at all
      But have to have it at ones hall

  31. The flyers come in the mail
    hurry in for the really big sale
    truth is we only have a few
    there may be none left for you
    on line shopping much easier to do
    just have it all delivered to your zoo
    sometimes the sales can be good
    sometimes they are misunderstood
    Black Friday is now a two day event
    away you go spending your last cent

    I think you covered it all at your hall..
    catch you later don't fall in a crater...

    1. Two days now?
      That is just wow
      Trying to suck more from you
      Soon it will be a week at your zoo
      Online is as easy as can be
      Less fuss for the likes of you and me

    2. Two days now in my land
      stores opening Thanksgiving night
      many will shop if the price is right
      no longer waiting for the morning light

      Tis crazy..I tell ya..

    3. Many will be out and about
      As sale they shout
      Then there is cyber monday
      They all want our pay

  32. Ah, Christmas shopping again
    For some it is zen
    For me, torture,
    Simple and pure

    1. haha not torture for me
      But there is no zen spree

  33. This is supposed to be the season of giving.
    Some see it as a way to keep up their greedy living.
    I won't fight the masses.
    They can shove that dollar savings up their dumb asses.

    1. haha way to be for you
      Let them shove it up their gazoo

  34. I never shop. But my daughter has to work Black Friday this year and it might be worth it to go out and see how the madding crowd is affecting her cool. :)

    1. haha that would be fun to watch
      Drive one right to the scotch

  35. You'd be fun to go shopping with. Amazingly, I acutally have a poem called Pat's Hat today.

  36. Oops correction, It's Liam Pat's Hat.

  37. I'm with you about shopping online
    that certainly saves me lots of time
    rather do that then save a buck
    and get stuck
    in traffic, looking for a place to park
    where I won't have to walk too far in the dark


    1. Yeah lots of savings online
      not having to wait in line
      Find a place to park in mass
      Or waste gas

  38. Ha, 55 inch TV
    would be big enough for me!!

  39. We never have understood "Black Friday" and folks running out at 2 am to find all the "deals", fighting, pushing and running over each other. Ugh! What a life!

    1. Yeah the welfare bums are there
      They have to have it, so beware

  40. Ugh, I don't stand in line all night for a possible discount on one or two items. But, I don't do Christmas anymore either; I don't worship commercialism.


    1. Well that is the way to be
      Pitch commercialism in the sea

  41. Never ever have I waited in line for some sale to come on. But to be fair I was very excited yesterday when I used vouchers and I saved a whole 5.50 EUR !

    1. haha well excitement over vouchers isn't bad
      Unless it was way more than a tad

  42. Scary :) at this point I like to stay away from the mall :)


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