Glitch Of A Witch Part Fifteen. WorqueenDan Makes A Scene!

There we were falling back to candy land. The place that none of us can really stand. I would rather play the dumb board game, at least that will not maim. I was hoping we would stop in thin air like at the Island of the Gawker lair. But I knew that was not a probable action, at least we would be dead and not in traction.

"Oh Drazin is not going to like this."

"Demon, I am with you on that one."

"How disgusting!"

We saw the ground coming ever closer and there was something much bigger than a mouser. It was WorqueenDan and I think I'd rather get crushed in the blades of a fan than what was about to occur. I was really going to have to lick my fur.

"Get out here you zombie freak! That half jack ass better show herself too."

WorqueenDan was screaming at those below the ground. He could have quickly got down if he wasn't so round. Round is putting it too nice though. He was so big if he stepped in front of the sun it would no longer glow. And of course he had his ass in the air and its crack was giving off quite the glare.

"Ouch! Damn fleas."

WorqueeenDan scratched his ass, as in the crack Drazin and Pat fell, but not me and Cass. I know bad grammar there but I just don't care. We bounced off his cheek and scratched him as he continued to speak. With all that blubber though it barely tickled our candy loving foe. WorqueenDan then let out a big fart and away flew Pat and Drazin out of such a part. Thankfully they weren't covered in anything. Unlike old one eye nothing decided to cling.

"If you Fleabags ever speak of this, Drazin will make you into slippers and then set you on fire."

"Demon, I will make sure they stay quiet."

"Who'd believe you got sucked up into a giant's ass anyway?"

WorqueenDan turned around before we could scatter and I think, if possible, he had gotten even fatter. That is when I formed a plan to rid ourselves of Worqueendan. I knew we could not run away because with one step he moved a mile across the bay. So we did the only thing we could do. The others caught on to my plan as I jumped up on his shoe.

"Hey there Dan.
You need a tan.
If you didn't block out the sun.
I bet you'd have more fun.

But at that there is little chance.
So I'll do a little dance,
And help you out a bit.
So you can get fit."

"Shut up cat.
I'll squash you flat.
And eat you too.
That much is true"

"That you may do.
But not before I chew,
And eat this yummy candy.
This one is so dandy."

I pranced about candy land and pretended all the candy was grand, even though most of it was crap. But that is the same on any map. He fell for my trick. Damn, I am slick. He snatched the candy from me and ate it up, refusing to share like a greedy pup.

"Drazin loves this one."

"I could eat these all day."

"I must maintin my figure but even a prissy cat likes these."

Drazin, Cassie and Pat joined in. WorqueenDan was snatching each one away at the candy land bin. No matter how many we went to, he grabbed them and began to chew. We tried our best to stay out of his way but he was getting larger with each passing second of the day. Of course that was my plan and within ten minutes there was no more WorqueenDan.

"He's gonna blow!"

"Drazin already seen his ass once, never again."

"Agreed, Demon."

We jumped behind a tree and shelter ourselves with some hard kind of candy. WorqueenDan rumbled and tumbled all around making it feel like an earthquake as he hit the ground. I thought I just gave him a heart attack but then he began to clackity clack. Then like some exploding gigantic mushroom Worqueendan went boom!

"WorqueenDan guts, yuck."

That was the thought of every one of us. It was so disgusting, as most of nearby candy land looked like a huge ball of puss. But at least that was one foe down. Now just Betsy the zombie freak and that Thinkingcap ass from crazy town. Speaking of which before I can even scratch an itch, Half zombie Betsy popped up from her lair giving some sort of shrieking blare. Her zombie followers popped up one by one. at least now WorqueenDan no longer blocked out the sun.


Can you imagine falling into a giant's ass? That is just so crass. Thankfully Cassie and I avoided such a thing. No need for that type of fling. Now we have to find a way to stop Betsy and her zombie horde. At least in candy land we are never bored. But if I were you there I would never trespass. Trust my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. You blew up WorqueenDan until he popped.
    Suddenly I don't wanna eat my PopTart anymore.
    Just not very hungry.

    1. haha worqueendan the diet queen
      Keeping people thin by being obscene

  2. I really don't want to fall into a giant's ass!

    1. haha neither would I
      Poor Pat and the drazin guy

  3. This is a place I would NEVER trespass....would not want to meet up with a giant's ass.

  4. There he blows get the hose
    Clean up the gunk he doth expose
    Candy's dandy liquor's quicker
    Hurry up no time to bicker
    A lot of truth in the matter at hand
    Big guy ate quicker than cat covering sand

    1. Yeah he stuffed
      Buffed and fluffed
      Then went boom
      Exploded like a mushroom

  5. He exploded just like the guy in Monty Python. Must've been that last wafer thin mint!

    1. haha never thought about the comparison to that
      But yep, works at my mat

  6. how you can write this with your OCD is beyond me,
    ha i bet that fart made their hair stand up....
    a candy puss/ass...i think i will pass....

    1. haha puss and ass
      Sounds rather crass
      My ocd squirmed a bit
      But I can still write it

  7. A shrieking half zombie? Oh my, what have you turned me into? haha.

    1. haha you've gone cray in candy land
      With your follower zombie band

  8. A Glitch is a glitch is a witch. Where did I hear that before?

  9. What happened to WorqueenDan happens to me on Thanksgiving
    I explode since I eat with no regard for anyone's misgivings

    1. Geez you explode into puss?
      Ewwww stay away from us

  10. There is a ton of Halloween Candy sitting around this house that I will never quite look at the same again.

    1. haha with worqueendan on the scene
      You won't eat the candy of halloween

  11. beware of the zombie horde...maybe some candies will calm em down a bit... quite the wild things going on at your shore..

    1. Hmm maybe they will find candy
      Just fine and dandy

  12. I'll have to think of WorqueenDan when I'm tempted to overindulge in goodies ~ especially with March and paddle boarding coming! Your Ninja Wannabe video cracked me up. It's beyond silly, but it certainly made me laugh! Your kitty has the most gorgeous coloring! Take care at your lair!

    1. haha yeah beyond silly indeed
      But fun to do at my feed

  13. Interesting story, haha.

  14. Wow. Just wow. Can I just say that at least I'm relieved that on Glitch of a Witch we're not being portrayed as the giant, evil, farting monster queen? That takes the cake! I mean, damn! Tell us what you really think, Pat!

    1. hahaha poor Workingdan
      He may not be a fan
      But at least he got many things in store
      A giant, evil, farting monster queen doesn't come along every day at any shore

  15. Well, that just made me rethink dipping into the candy stash.
    I don't want anyone falling into the crack of my ass!

    1. haha well i think you are safe at your sea
      Unless your ass is the size of King Kong Bundy

  16. Falling into a giants ass would not be fun. Especially if fleas were buzzing around it!

    1. Yeah a nasty sight
      Especially when out goes the light

  17. I am with Cassie today
    and Orlin - away
    from your bay..
    but where are they?

  18. orlin N cassie...dood...glad ya saved de day; we noe cassie N yur dad N drazin iz glad two...fallin inn two a giantz azz wood be az bad.... az de azz oh a terra dactul flyin over head......well, ta uz any way !!! enjoy trout thurzday !

    1. That would be bad too
      If you dropped like poo
      And fell to the land
      Going splat like a rubber band

  19. Thanks for calling me bendy, I guess! Haha

  20. Demons, Zombie's and Giant asses oh my. lol

    1. Quite the yellow brick road
      They go down in candy land mode

  21. worqueendan and i need to understand
    that dipping in the candy can land you in butt crack land
    still, candy land bin is a worthy kind of sin

    1. As long as you don't explode
      Or look like an overblown toad
      I think you'll be fine
      If on candy you dine

  22. Things are really heating up in here Pat, I've really enjoyed this series, even though we've now reached an incredible 15th edition of this I still don't want it to end!

    1. haha who knows where it will go
      I can go on forever at my show

  23. Butt cracks and zombies with fleas sounds like a typical day in the South!

    1. Hmmm I will avoid
      The south makes me paranoid

  24. Replies
    1. Agreeing with a gawker
      He is quite the talker

  25. This is quite the tale in candy land
    perhaps, this place should be banned
    things that happen are rather crass
    perhaps, someone had some grass
    after this I'll pass on dandy candy
    I think I need a shot of

    1. LOL liquor is quicker
      And might not be sicker
      Than falling into a giants ass
      After that, I'd really need to roll in the grass
      Plus have some bleach
      In my reach haha

  26. nobody blocks out the sun

    like Mr. Burns on the run.

    until Maggie came along


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