WEP: You’ve Got Draft

Pain. So much. Words could never form to describe my agony. The cancer raging through my body held nothing to the emptiness at the end. No one there. All I had been a memory to no one. If only…
“If only you’d have checked that damn email all those years ago.”
His laughter sure hit a nerve. And that voice. My ears hurt from its squeak. But he…she…it did me a favor. I had new pain. New that faded with his squeak. My soul had been purged of pain. Could this be…
“Heaven? White fluffy clouds. Plastic bimbos in white gowns singing some righteous welcoming to a forever peace. Please!”
My vision cleared to the serene waterfall before me. Peace. It truly was until it flew from underneath the waterfall. It circled me and then formed before me. It became me. The pimply faced teenager version. Damn. I really should have backed off the chocolate.
“Wouldn’t you love it if you could stay here for eternity? Paradise.” It shook its head and began to snore. “Boring. And do you really think the after life has room for bazillions of souls to clog up the waterworks?”
It snapped its fingers and then the pimples on my…its face began to grow.
“Sorry. Time to burst that bubble.”
I flung my hands across my face, expecting some gooey sludge, but finding only the orb zipping around images of my life. The important parts. It then stopped on my demise.
“Endings. They suck, am I right? Such a pain in the ass. And I’m not talking about the literal pain in the ass.” It fizzled before me and then swatted the image away. “You’ve looked better. Let’s see what we can find.”
My thoughts raced about my ending. I had truly ended. Why had my speech forsaken me? What could I have…
“Don’t hurt that brain of yours. Endings will give you a migraine. There’s always plot holes that need filling. Some stick up their behind critic who never wrote a thing in their life but feel they can judge all the wrongs of your tale. Some namby pamby fanboy that gets his superhero undies in a bunch because you went another way.” It formed into a thin version of itself and swung back and forth before me. “I mean, really? Who gets uptight about a couple of guys, sorry, guys and girls, sword fighting with a giant, glowing dick on a handle? I feel dirty just doing this.”
I had no idea what it spoke about. I wanted to run, but there I stood. Then came the theme blasting my ear drums. Okay, even my workaholic self understood the reference.
“No matter how many times I’ve pushed them on a different path, someone always makes that movie. Maybe I should use more force?”
It was obsessed. My thoughts turned quite quickly to how it was a hypocrite.
“Me? And I was going to give you the best path this time. I guess…”
My mind screamed for forgiveness as the images stopped scrolling and it focused on her. Those tiny fingers typing a message to me. I had never seen her, but that was the moment. The moment that tortured me for the rest of my life. Why hadn’t she responded?
“Why?” Its laughter sounded like a pack of hyenas that stretched for miles. “Oh the things you came up with. Car accident. Heart attack. Plane crash. Train crash. Fire. Kidnapped by aliens. I really liked that one. Maybe in another path. But not this one.”
It hovered over me like a halo and then stretched around my body. I became its puppet and it lifted my arm to the screen.
“Harder.” It slammed my finger against the image and zoomed in on her screen.
I read the words. My heart would ache if it were still able.
“Why didn’t you respond? I thought you were the one.” It pulled my arm back and shifted the images to her tear-filled eyes, forcing me to watch as she backspaced the message and shut off the computer. “You really were such an asshole.”
What? No way. I responded to her as soon as she asked to meet.
“But did you?” It cackled again and then shifted to an image of me replying. I knew it. There was my reply. “Don’t count those chickens, Lookin4luv33.”
It swung my arm to the screen and tapped it.
“Harder.” It fizzled around me. “I bet the fanboys yell that all the time.” It retracted from around me and stood before me as myself in my prime. “Maybe you were right. Maybe I am obsessed. I may owe old Ralph a few. He said the same thing.”
My body loosened and stepped closer. I recalled the excitement oozing within the words of my reply. My hand shook as I hovered over the touchpad of my laptop.
“That’s right. Keep watching.”
My finger tapped send. Then came the door. Mrs. Weaver wanting me to watch Fluffy for the weekend. I closed the computer. Wait…
“That’s right, you idiot. You didn’t tap it hard enough. All those years. All of those many, many years. You kept checking for new mail and yours was in…” It cackled as it hit the screen and opened draft. “Your reply was in draft. You never sent it.”
I thought she changed her mind. She thought I never wanted to meet. All those years. All…
“Don’t worry your pretty little head. You’ll get it right one of these times. See ya next end.” It tapped me and I toppled over while it mumbled about endings.
“Peter, Fluffy is all groomed and ready for her sleepover.”
I hoped she liked cats. Mrs. Weaver would be devastated if I couldn’t watch Fluffy for her.
“Coming.” I reached for the screen, my spine tingled. Had I done this before? I double checked my sent messages. Not sent! Whoa, it went to draft. That could have been life changing. Sent.
Words: 998
There we go. A deja vu one given a go. Did you think it would be dark once more from the first lines? Have to lighten it up a bit once in a while. Maybe not as light as the cat, but light enough. Ever experience so-called deja vu? Thoughts?
Enjoy life, forget the strife.
49 Comments
Fundy Blue ( Louise)
2018-10-15 00:59:25 
A lighter story! I liked the twist at the end! I’ve experienced strong deja vu and strong premonitions. I’d like to go around a few times and take the road not taken each time ~ just out of curiosity. I can’t complain though ~ It’s been really good this time. It would be nice to undo some pain I’ve caused others. As for eternity floating among the clouds with wings ~ No thanks. I saw an altar in a cathedral in a big church in Venice. You could light candles for prayers to Pope John 23rd and Pope John Paul 2nd, plus some other guy. They were likely all saints. All I could think was why would anyone to be a pope and spend eternity listening to endless prayers and performing endless intersessions. Sounds like hell to me! I’m at Parkway having wine after dinner and listening to football. LOL ~ definitely not a big football fan. Have a good week!
Fundy Blue (Louise)
2018-10-15 01:04:57 
I wrote you a big long comment and google ate it. Rats! I enjoyed your lighter story and its ending. Yes, I’ve experienced deja vu. I can’t rewrite all I wrote. With wine and football, it’s too much. I wouldn’t mind being able to go back and correct a few mistakes. Have a good week.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-15 09:39:10 
haha didn’t get eaten, just had to be approved first for some reason. Going around a few times would be interesting, but then a few times would also mean the super bad times, or worse times, could be given a go too. Yeah, pffft to listening to endless prayers and floating with white fluffy clouds.
Alex J. Cavanaugh
2018-10-15 14:29:01 
Wow, who would want to go through that kind of hell all because of an unsent message? That was really effective, Pat.
Elephants Child
2018-10-15 19:55:47
Definitely a lighter take – from you.
My brain however is whizzing down dark alternatives, dark possibilities. Prompted by you. My bad.
Yet another very different and delightful use of the them from your fertile mind.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-15 20:17:53
Alex – Effective sure works indeed. Would sure be hell.
Elephants Child – haha whizz on down, can be many an alley to go.
Olga Godim
2018-10-16 00:38:23 
Yeah, always check that draft folder. An unsent message could change a life. But my mind keeps veering towards darker possibilities the story started with.
Denise Covey
2018-10-16 01:08:10 
Hi Pat. Aren’t you a tease? I was coming to expect deep and dark and creepy and you gave us a thrilling take on an everyday matter. Clever you! Love the way you ended it!
dolorah at Book Lover
2018-10-16 04:47:59 
lol. You had me fooled at the beginning! This was way cool. I’ve had things stuck in draft – lost a whole potential blog post only to discover it months later. Ugh. I wonder how my characters are faring in that draft state.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-16 09:27:11
Olga – always a darker way to go.
Denise – had to throw in a little difference here and there
Dolorah – yeah, sometimes things get stuck there, then you notice and whoops.
Yolanda Renee
2018-10-16 14:23:17 
Brought to mind a friend that could have been so much more, but I was in my adventurous frame of mind and didn’t stick around to find out. The ‘what if’s’ are such fun!
Loved it! Especially that you tricked us, but it is the season for tricks and treats!
Happy Halloween!
Tanya
2018-10-16 15:07:01 
Few things bug me like when I have to send an email and am interrupted before sending it. And then realizing hours or days later, “Doh! I never sent that email!!!”
Nice happy ending. However, the spirit said, “You’ll get it right one of these times”.
So was it a real ending? Hmmmmm?
Hilary
2018-10-16 15:28:31
Hi Pat – oh gosh … how our minds wander – while we are just impractical souls … leaving things in limbo. I hope Fluffy enjoyed her sleepover … but a fun read – leaving me much to mull over … cheers Hilary
Michelle Wallace
2018-10-16 18:31:40
Pat, my brain was all over the place… a mental roller coaster moving back and forth with ‘what ifs’.
Very creative!
Mary Kirkland
2018-10-16 18:43:18
That was a good twist there. Having never sent the message ad have it sit in the draft folder. Good thing I check my draft folder a lot.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-16 20:13:53
Yolanda – a trick had to come due. Yeah, so many what ifs indeed.
Tanya – yeah, getting interrupted mid stream is a pain. Hmm you never know.
Hilary – much to mull over is a win.
Michelle – the what ifs sure can roll on in
Mary – Yep, always good to check the draft folder.
Susan Swiderski
2018-10-17 17:29:27
The writing in this piece is reeeeeally good, dude. Great story, too.
It’s too bad we don’t have the option to “do over” when we screw up. Kinda like “Groundhog Day”… just keep doing it until we get it right.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-17 21:01:53
Glad it is grand. Yeah, be nice to do it until we got it right.
L.G. Keltner
2018-10-18 03:24:10
Ah, the agony of a message that was thought to be sent but in fact was not. These kinds of misunderstandings and miscommunications can indeed have a deep and lasting impact on how our lives go.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-18 09:34:27
Yep, they sure can take life many a way, all from not hitting a little button.
Joey
2018-10-18 12:32:38
This is riveting! The insults and the pimples, all of it was so delightfully tortured. So that message was found in the draft folder before it was too late.
Joey
2018-10-18 12:44:06
I’ve been having trouble getting comments to post. I think there’s something wrong with my browser settings. Anyway, sorry if this is a duplicate. (Trouble hitting buttons and all).
I found this story riveting. The way you used the teenage pimply stage as torture was really, well, torturous. Well done!
Joey
2018-10-18 13:58:51
This is my third try, so I apologize if I’m leaving a string of duplicate comments. I think my pop-up blocker is making it very hard to comment on blogs.
Anyway, I thought this story was riveting. I especially liked how you used the teenage acne stage as a punishment (that would be awful) and the suspense created with dialogue from an unknown source.
Well done!
adura Ojo
2018-10-18 16:22:35
It happens just like sliding doors, the possibilities. Interesting take on the theme, Pat.
Christopher Scott
2018-10-18 19:37:04 
A much more light-hearted take on the deja vu side of the theme. An equal part cautionary tale, and regret about the importance of making sure you genuinely send an email or similar electronic message. Well done.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-18 20:42:48
Joey – three in a row, look at you go haha gotta hate that pimple stage.
Adura – a sliding things can go
Christopher – Yep, always make sure you hit send
DG Hudson
2018-10-19 01:33:08
Dark or light, reading your imaginative writing is a pleasure. I bet a lot of people would love a second chance. . .I do believe in deja vu, and have experienced it, several times in Vancouver, and in Paris too. I felt like I had walked or seen that street before. Maybe I was remembering a dream, maybe not. It’s fun to wonder. I think a person has to be open to the possibility in order to recognize it.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-19 09:34:49
Yeah, being open you can recognize it. Then one may be crazy too, who knows haha
Nilanjana Bose
2018-10-19 10:42:40
This was lighthearted and cute, but also a shade scary – such little things can make such a huge difference, yank an entire course of events awry…a bit of inattention and that’s it!
A fun yet thought provoking take on the prompt, much enjoyed reading it.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-19 20:09:48
Yeah, that is all it takes to send everything spiraling in another direction.
Michael Di Gesu
2018-10-20 03:12:45
Scary thought…. imagine forgetting to send that email that literally could change you life.
Intriguing and thought provoking entry!
Snowcatcher
2018-10-20 04:31:10
Wow, that really was a surprise! I, too, thought you’d be dark and darker again, and I really enjoyed this! I bet you like trippin’ people up… Never a dull moment around here!!!
Pat Hatt
2018-10-20 09:27:23
Michael – would be awful having never sent it
Snow – haha yep, enjoy the trip up indeed.
Sally
2018-10-20 10:27:39
You never know where things go in the ether, perhaps it was never meant to be. Interesting read.
Rebecca Douglass
2018-10-20 15:29:36
Ha–the title didn’t make sense until the end  That was kind of creepy, despite the twist! Well done.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-20 20:39:24
Sally – perhaps it was not.
Rebecca – Pulls it all together at the end
Toi Thomas
2018-10-20 21:54:56
Nice. I like the direction this went. I thought it would be darker at first, but still, it’s kind of eerie. How hard does one have to press to ensure that a message is sent? Perhaps there are dark forces at play; you hit send but it goes to draft instead. IDK, either way, I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-20 22:11:58
Could have been that it wasn’t the right round and dark forces came to play.
Jemima Pett
2018-10-21 22:06:18
Yes, I thought it was going to go dark, but it didn’t! Very entertaining, thanks!
Jemi Fraser
2018-10-22 00:37:18
That was great! Loved the line about the plot holes always needing to be filled! Well done 
Pat Hatt
2018-10-22 09:28:34
Jemima – switched it about, let the dark out.
Jemi – Always some pot hole about.
Dixie
2018-10-23 00:32:10
Love the email torment. Nice job
Pat Hatt
2018-10-23 09:31:46
Thanks indeed
J Lenni Dorner
2018-10-25 04:53:41
“sword fighting with a giant, glowing dick on a handle”
That is by far the best line I’ve read in ages. Ha ha ha!
An email stuck in draft, never sent? That really could be a nightmare. I remember the days when sometimes things just didn’t send. They got “lost” in cyberspace somewhere. (Which is why we had email read receipts. Which then faded from use. And now I guess are back because of GDPR, making sure no one is sending unwanted email that doesn’t get read…)
Great story. As a writer, that’s some freaky horror in your twist.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-25 09:35:07
haha that line just popped on in. A nightmare indeed. I remember when they just got lost too.
Operation Awesome Team
2018-10-25 22:59:30
What an excellent way to scare writers! This story doubles as a warning. Great work. Hope you win something for this.
Pat Hatt
2018-10-25 23:02:19
Sure makes one always want to remember to back up
Jamie Lightcap Dorner
2018-10-26 10:11:52
Okay, you win, I’m scared. I have to go check my sent mail now. And drafts. And maybe triple check…
Pat Hatt
2018-10-26 20:16:38
Always good to check and check again.


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