Time To Sway At Your Commercialized Bay!

Love is in the air at many a lair...for a price...you can make it more nice. A guy in a diaper with a bow is surely in the know. Sit back and stick your rump in the air, you may find someone to care. Or someone with a butt fetish I suppose. They may think it smells like a rose. But I digress as once more I attack the commercialized mess.

Search out a man,
Not a flash in the pan,
But a true guy,
That looks rather spry.

He'll be in underwear,
Ready to make a pair.
Stick up your ass,
To find your lad or lass.

Unless it's diaper change time,
Then make due with a mime.
He may be too full of crap,
To take a lovers lap.

Then where will you turn?
Such desire continues to burn.
You need a mate,
One that doesn't deflate.

One who's a looker,
Nope, not a hooker.
This isn't the day,
For hourly pay.

Instead you need,
Absolutely need, at your feed,
A box of this and that,
Looks like it came out the rear of the cat.

A flower or ten,
Heck, break out the pen.
Sign a big old check,
Spread flowers across the deck.

Don't forget the card.
It isn't hard.
So many, I know.
Just grab six or so.

Now you are ready,
To look good and steady.
Just stick out you arm,
This stuff works like a charm.

Trust us we say.
You'll have a great day.
On this very special date,
Cupid's arrow is your fate.

Pffft as usual at my sea. They can take their day and stick it up their corporate rear with glee. Just like crummy New Year's day, there is no big wowing magic when Valentine's is on display. Should do things waaaay more than once a year not just when commercialized idiots give you ads to see and hear. I could be more crass but today I'm trying to be a more loveable little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. I'll just bring home a single rose and be done with it. Even my wife thinks cards are a waste of trees.

  2. We do not celebrate Valentine's. It's not a real holiday and if you have to be told to get your significant other a flower, candy or gift one day a year to show you love them, then you might as well live alone. lol

    1. lol yep, if stuck on one day a year
      Leaving alone would be better across the sphere
      Cheaper too
      At ones zoo

  3. Getting a dead rose
    Really blows;
    To celebrate for me
    Plant a tree!

    1. That i can do
      And the cat can fertilize it too

  4. People don't talk much
    just send text message
    or blog:
    Happy Valentine's Day!

    1. That is very true
      Most they say is how are you

  5. Laugh of the day........the photo. thanks for the laugh, Great verse,

  6. You should celebrate love everyday
    as who know what tomorrow will bring
    enjoy the moments, colorful bouquets
    in the heart let a song always sing
    in a field of wildflowers I would rather lay
    or soaring the sky on open wings..

    Happy Valentine's Day..

    1. Yep, tomorrow could be dead
      Have a plane fall on your head
      Or get hit by a bus
      Or shot for letting out a cuss
      So screw just one day
      Let it flow at ones bay

  7. Holidays are way too commercialized these days
    Celebrate love every day of the year is what I say

    1. Yeah, all about the sell sell sell no matter the weather
      Holiday and Valentine's should never go together

  8. Celebrate love every day
    Not just today, I say
    Here is a hug for you
    And friendly kisses, too
    xo :)

    1. The cat would run
      Slobber is no fun

    2. Not true,
      Cats secretly like
      A hug or two :)

    3. haha so the scratch they leave you
      Is just a present that came due

  9. Peter Pan and mighty Cupid
    Both of whom I think are stupid
    Grown men who never grew up
    Because they think they're still a pup

    1. haha technically Peter Pan was a boy
      He never got past the stage of I want a toy

  10. No card from me to you but I will say
    Happy Valentine's Day to all at your bay
    it may be a commercial venture indeed
    but greetings are always fun to read!

    1. I suppose they are fun to read
      Avoiding the hallmark planting seed

  11. We exchange gifts and go out to lunch.
    You will scoff, I have a hunch.
    But the day means more to us
    because I sent him a card when he was a young cuss
    and that started our romance
    way back at a high school dance.

    1. Well see
      That has meaning at your tree
      Not just some hallmark day
      There on display

  12. "Don't forget the card
    It isn't hard?"

    Forget Valentines?
    That's no good.
    It may be hard
    but it'll do you no good

  13. You are right things should be done way more than once a year but I dont mind an excuse to show my man I love him in yet another way. Its corny but I am still in the honeymoon phase so I am not opposed to a little corn.

    1. That is true I guess too
      It is a good excuse to come due

  14. I am expecting roses, candy, a giant teddy and a card. Would that really be so hard? Oh, and I need those heart-shaped ice cube trays. And I'd better put out my pink and red outdoor lighting for days. Oh, and heart balloons. Just a few dragoons. Better run to the store. Starting to want more...

    1. Wow, you are hard to satisfy at your bay
      What? no sky writing on display?

  15. could get a bit scary
    with your butt in the air
    never know who might come probing at your lair
    i dont need another day to express my love
    i do it all the time, push come to shove,
    no card needed, i'll make my own
    give her the words
    from the marrow in my bone

    1. Yeah an invitation for aliens to come
      And probe you up the bum
      Indeed at ones feed
      Do it every day and one day you don't need

  16. It is Happy Valentine!
    How well it does chime
    Cupid's bow
    Sets the glow
    Does give a clever shine!


    1. Can give a shine
      As two dine
      And get shot
      Might hurt a lot

  17. I'm glad that you were trying to be more lovable! You can really skewer something when you get going!!! You are absolutely right ~ way more than once a year is what's needed when it comes to matters of the heart.. That said, I used to love our Valentine's Party at school. Third graders aren't commercialized or cynical yet! I've been catching up ~ Again! I got such a kick out of O.E. (Keith) in red spandex ~ Your Bora Bora videos always make me laugh. That creepy guy across the bay ~ yikes! How awful for you! And congrats on your Fight in the Night book! How fun that Trudessa is in it. Most of my this graders would have loved that sparkly fart! Every time I read them Roald Dahl's BFG their eyes would get really big when I first said "wizzpopper." They'd glance around to see who was going to laugh first. Then they'd all bust up! I always enjoyed rattling the cages of propriety! So I'd have read your story to my kiddos in a heartbeat! Have a great weekend!

    1. Wow, on a roll
      As you go for a stroll
      From post to post
      At my coast
      Yeah old guy was creepy
      This dumb day makes too many weepy
      haha wizzpopper would be run
      Have to make up words under my sun

  18. Cupid has tons to do, no wonder he wears a diaper,no time to poo

  19. An over commercialized atmosphere around it. But the message is nice

  20. I could never figure out that whole thing about a toddler in a diaper wielding a weapon. What's up with that?

    1. Yeah not sure why one would think that
      I guess they were drunk at their mat

  21. Cupid has changed, or not, over the years!

  22. Any day with loved ones is cause for celebration.

  23. Chocolates, flowers, candy and balloons

    everyone might get some of these unless your loved one is a buffoon

    1. Or has better things to do
      Then bother with this day at their zoo

  24. orlin N cassie....happee hearts day oh love two ewe all N heerz two a red snapper kinda week oh end !! :) thatz all we love...food...period.....course dai$y DOES love herself but thatz another storee for another kinda day !!~a reeeeeeely boring azz storee far az uz boys iz concerned !!

    1. Food we can take
      No boring azz stories they make us shake

  25. I could blame my lack of interest in the day on my age (ahem),
    but I didn't have much of an investment in it when I was young either.

    It's nice if done right, but def. more contrived than natural as far as I'm concerned.

    1. haha no interest in old age or young age
      On such a contrived day you turn the page

  26. OH MY GOD! you always make that (with the pictures)!
    I try to love everyday also I say pfffftt! sometimes !

    1. haha always leave you with a great pic
      I know you seeing cupid does the trick

  27. You make me smile. I love the idea of Valentines Day but for too many it's enforced romance.

    1. Glad I can get a smile
      And yeah seems forced the whole valentine mile

  28. Oh, that pic just made me lose my appetite for chocolate, and I love chocolate. LOL

    1. haha whoops, sorry about that
      We'll blame that one on Pat

  29. Ahahaha! So many holidays have swerved from their centers, and if you don't conform then they think something is wrong. Ugh. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day!

    1. That is very true
      Don't go with the flow they think you are strange at your zoo

  30. Not much happening at our zoo
    on this Valentine's Day
    not even a card or flowers
    but a bit of candy made it feel just gay.

    (honestly, a bit of a fuss so many do when love should be expressed and lived every other day too )


    1. Yep, we sure agree
      Over exaggerated hallmark day at every sea

  31. The Grinch is out in full force today.
    I guess he didn't get any chocolates or hearts coming his way.
    Don't worry, it will all be 1/2 price tomorrow.
    You should go stock up to help wash away all that sorrow :)

    1. haha grinch only works for actual holidays
      This day was just a way to get people to pay

  32. "You need a mate,
    One that doesn't deflate."
    Bahahahaha! Yes, it's best to have the kind that don't deflate! Happy Valentine's Day Pat!

    1. haha you and you have to blow them up too
      Tired after that comes due

  33. even if i was in a relationship i have never celebrated valentine's day. I only go on the 15th to snack up some cheap chocolate!!!

    1. Sounds like a good plan
      One of which I'd be a fan

  34. My Hubs made me go out to eat.... We had to wait 80 minutes in a line just to eat. NEVER AGAIN!

    1. haha wow that sucks indeed
      Stay home at your feed

  35. Valentine's, BAH!
    It falls too close to my birthday, anyway, I always get shortchanged.
    Um, that sounded a little spoiled and selfish, didn't it?
    I meant to say, corporate greedy made-up holiday, bad!!!!


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