Another Year Older But No Colder!

I guess I'm still not too old for this shit as I rhyme away at my pit. But when do I get to say that and make it stick? Wouldn't it be fun to be a mean old prick? No? Let's see with my flow.

You can bicker with all,
Give young girls a cat call,
That are above legal age.
No going creeper on this page.

Whack kids with your walking stick.
Give people in front of you a kick.
Then just act senile.
No need to run a mile.

Get to be cleaned out once a year,
As a hand goes up your rear.
Maybe even a gadget in your ear,
To help you be able to hear.

And whenever you have to go,
Lift your leg and let it flow.
A reference to a mutt.
Just don't sniff a butt.

Fake a heart attack,
Then get a free ice pack.
Plus a free ride too.
Flashy lights just for you.

You get a blue pill.
I hear it is a thrill.
It's like you have powers,
As it lasts for hours.

Could get a party started,
With oops you farted.
Having a bit of gas,
And just letting it pass.

Just do the hokey pokey,
And you'll be as feared as Loki.
Right leg in and off it goes,
Or you may just lose some toes.

Could start your own band.
Go all across the land.
The more your bones crack,
The more people you'll pack.

Then the best of all.
You can do nothing at your hall.
Just throw a big fit,
And say you are too old for this shit.

Hmmm okay maybe not. It does not sound so hot. Besides the last one I suppose. I would not want to do the hokey pokey and lose my toes. So the cat will keep Pat below 30 for now before he has a cow. Now I will go pass some young gas from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.


  1. Acting smart being an old fart
    One can avoid getting into a rut
    Pretend innocent
    Stay unconcerned
    That is acting being real smart


    1. haha yep, stay ahead of the game
      And make the oops not me claim

  2. Some of that may become true
    You forgot when veins are turning blue (ha)
    But the ones I see who start a coup
    Are the same old farts at twenty-two

    1. Very true
      Not like it just comes due
      Once an old fart always an old fart
      They take it to heart

  3. If today is your birthday, happy special day ~ Just do nothing at your hall is fine with me ~ And its still cold here, so I am not having a spring fling yet ~

    1. Yeah snowed here too
      And technically not until tomorrow at my zoo

  4. There are things I can already say I am too old for this shit...

  5. but if it last more than 4 hours,
    you might get a ride as well
    and an ice pack then would be hell
    of a way to fight the swell
    just enjoy your birthday
    no matter what
    & hopefully you get no surprise presents
    from a mutt

    1. Yeah a needle down there
      At a germy lair
      No thank you
      Rather be a monk at my zoo lol

  6. Well, you are still a 'youngsta' here
    there is nothing you should fear
    considering the alternative, my dear,
    tolerate that hand up the rear
    and what did you say about the EAR???
    I truly did not HEAR!!!

    (Happy Birthday, Pat!)

    1. haha yeah have to tolerate it when in comes
      Can't even hear high pitched hums

  7. Happy Birthday Pat, my rhyming blogging friend
    Hopefully you get to do all of these in the end
    A lot of these sounded like my late grandfather
    He wanted to be left alone, without a bother

    1. Well some o them would be fun
      I'd sure give I'm too old for this shit a run

  8. Happy Birthday, have some cake

    that is no mistake

    1. Cake would kill me
      I'll stick to getting money

  9. Happy Birthday, actually I am dreading my birthday I enter another decade.....not a nice one either,
    Have a great day,

    1. Can add up the decades at your sea
      Keeps you good at math with your spree

  10. Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday Pat!!! ><(((ยบ>

  11. Happy Happy Happy Birthday!! :) I hope you have an awesome day!

    1. Well I have to work
      So that isn't birthday perk lol

  12. Happy birthday, hopefully some fun comes your way

    1. We shall see
      As long as it isn't funny money

  13. Hope you have a nice and Happy Birthday!!!
    and you still are so young Pat:)
    dont worry!

    1. haha too bad body doesn't think so
      As the crap still does grow

  14. Haha! Happy Birthday, Pat! Good luck with that staying under 30 thing. I wasn't able to figure it out.

    1. One more year to do so
      Then I guess I just have to pretend at my show

  15. So, you have a birthday coming due
    sending a bouquet of wishes just for you
    here's hoping all your dreams come true
    may happiness follow you in all you do..
    may a candle always light your field of view..

    1. But aren't you supposed to blow them out?
      How can it always light out and about
      If you blow the thing?
      Hmmm that has a bad ring lol

    2. lol - the candle represents a star shining in the sky
      lighting the way so your dreams can always fly..

      You are welcome to try and blow a star out..but, I think
      they just burn out as they shoot across the heavens..and
      when you see a shooting star you're suppose to make
      your wish....

    3. lol not sure I can huff and puff
      And blow out that starry stuff
      Even i don't have that much hot air
      Here at my lair

  16. Well Happy almost birthday!

    Happy Birthday, you're getting old.
    Age might just be a number
    But with age come naps and false teeth blunders.
    Grey hairs, wrinkles and reading glasses
    Just hope you don't need diapers.
    So eat some cake and make a wish,
    Hope the cat gives you a kiss.


    1. No diapers and I'll be good
      False teeth follows close behind at my hood haha

  17. Ah, I see what the cat's done/play dumb whilst having fun/well, have a good one, me ol' cat/hope you get a rabiit outta the hat! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    1. A good one will be had
      Or at least some fun at my rhyming pad

  18. happy birthday, Pat.
    going cold at my pit but i did miss you and the others :)

    1. Been a while indeed
      Since you posted at your feed

  19. A cranky old man?
    Yep, that's what I am.
    Before I knew it, my youth's out the door.
    When I look at my weenie
    I forget what it's for.

    1. Damn, that has to suck
      Can't even get any luck
      Not even if you pay a buck
      To some woman in a pickup truck

  20. Replies
    1. Multiple personality today
      Both voices had to come out to play?

  21. Still young in my books you are
    when you do celebrate your birthday
    getting old is not all it is cracked up to be
    unless you count the creaking in your knee

    enjoy your youth, no matter how old you might be
    it all goes down I think once one turns 40

    (enjoy your day)


    1. So 11 years to go
      Before I'm more screwed up at my show
      Good to know
      Hopefully I don't break a toe

  22. Happy birthday, Pat! You've got a LONGGGG way to go! Every day is a gift! Your rhymes on life as an oldster are funny ~ Times are changing though! It may be way better than you think! That's my birthday wish for you!

    1. May be better than I think
      So I won't end up with a body on the brink lol

  23. Hokey pokey
    Funny bloky
    Need a pill
    Pay your bill
    Check your heart
    When you fart
    Feeling old
    I am told
    Feeling slow
    At your show
    One more year
    To make us cheer
    Pat the Cat
    Is all that

    1. Hmm my heart may need a check
      As a fart could be on deck
      As more will come throughout the year
      Just perk up your ear

  24. Wow! Yoo wrote already enough for whole life
    so, I guess you can boldly to start novel drive..
    tomorrow, better, if date 3/24
    when you celebrate first year of birth.

    1. 3/24 is the day
      I just have much much more tomorrow on display

  25. Happy Day to you
    A day early it's true
    but celebrations should last long
    cuz in a few days it's all done!

    1. haha oh a day early because of what i have in store
      Here at my shore

  26. Thanks for putting such a bleak outlook on growing older, Pat. Haha. And your post reminded me that I need to schedule my annual physical. Getting older but still coughing to the left.

    1. haha sorry for the reminder
      And sending you to the butt crack finder

  27. It totally stinks that you're so right!!! (Though for the record...I do NOT fart)

  28. I'm desperately hoping that getting older doesn't mean any of that!
    It just means that we are wiser, maybe more cautious, maybe more brave the older we get

    1. haha hmmm I hope so too
      But we shall see at our zoo

  29. Happy Birthday To You! I hope you have a fabulous day! I would offer a giveaway in your honor, but it would have to be for U.S. only :P

  30. Happy birthday, and many more
    Hope for lots of fun in store
    Turning old is much of what you say
    But NOTHING's free in this age and day! :)

    1. Nope, always something we have to pay
      As old age joins the fray

  31. Happy Birthday Pat!! Another year... does that mean 25 posts this time?


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