Blogvengers Part Four, Zombies Still On Tour!

Chapter 4
Yours, Mine and Ours
Zombies With Powers

     The sun rose on a new day and all actually looked right as Betsy stepped out enjoying her stone statue display. She missed her fifty cats but she was glad she did not have to arm herself with barbed wire bats. She swept the deck and made sure to get every speck. Betsy smiled as a zombie came out of her house. It was actually as quiet as a mouse.
     "Take your friends and clean the yard, mow the grass and trim the trees." Betsy commanded like a dictator of some sort. She seemed to have a regular zombie court.
     The zombies gave a moan and listened at the tone. Betsy seemed to give off a smell that reminded them of Hell. When any zombie came near her the lines begin to blur. They all followed her commands and demands.
     Betsy saw a familiar group hobbling down the street. The zombies all turned to them smelling fresh meat. She spotted Hank first just marching along, whistling his number one song. It reminded Alex he had no guitar and could no longer become a rock star. Brian and Mary lead the rest of the dVerse crew. They all stopped in awe as Betsy and her pet zombies came into view.
     "I am number one!  But that is just strange." Hank was ready to fight as he kept every zombie in sight.
     "Brian, your twin has gone off the deep end." Mary whispered and began to back away, hoping Betsy was not crazy and wanted to cause them dismay.
     "Rotten Creepers! Now there is a name for a good band." Alex was still whining while the zombies dreamed about nothing but dining.
     Betsy waved her hand and her zombie pets went back to tending her land. Brian gawked and took it all in. He saw what she was doing and did not think it a sin.
     "So you are here too? Just another thing we have in common." Brian opened her gate and walked in tempting fate.
     "Repoing cars would have been a lot easier with them around, huh?" Betsy joked and invited everyone in. They all thought she stunk worse than a drunk covered in gin.
     "So if I pray to you oh godly one, will the zombie nuns go away?" Cassie licked her paw as the zombie nuns beat on the door making their hands even more raw.
     "Shut up, fleabag. Drazin has a plan." Drazin smirked and then left the room. He had a look that said he was going to cause them doom.
     "Are we just going to let him go run to and fro?"
     "Orlin you know you don't always have to rhyme, right?"
     "Sorry, but I have to or I may piss off the crew."
     Pat shook his head and leaned back in his chair. The group all heard Drazin give out a loud swear. Orlin whacked the monitor and they all laughed at him. He stubbed his toe and there was nothing else too grim. They followed him on the security feed and began to catch on to his plan as it came to seed.
     "Drazin hates damn zombies, but zombies nuns. Drazin guesses with rotting flesh they sure are holy now." Drazin kept talking to himself as he picked some things off a shelf.
     Drazin marched up some stairs and began putting things in pairs. He mixed and matched and before long everything was batched. He stood on top of the roof of the mall and gave one more grunt to all. Then he lit his creation and let it go to his elation.
     "Oh that is just nasty." Pat curled up his nose and his toes.
     Zombie nun brain splatted on the security camera feed. Drazin's bomb sure did the deed. Zombie nun parts flew everywhere. There was not even enough left to make a matching pair.
     "I guess the godly one answers prayers after all."
     "But I have to tell, after that, he may end up in Hell."
     Pat turned away from the screen as the cats licked themselves clean. Drazin marched back into the room and sat down enjoying his big boom.
     "Now that Drazin took care of that, you fleabags can take care of the rest."
     "Oh good job Drazin. Your mind really is as small as a raisin."
     Orlin looked out over the balcony window and seemed to be enjoying the show. Adam was caught in the act. He became zombie lunch for his final fact. Drazin had blown the door open too. Now zombies were entering the mall two by two.
     "Good going, godly mook."
     Cassie and Pat looked for a way to scat. The bottom half of the mall was filled to the brim. Things really did look grim. Their only chance was to go to the roof after Drazin's big goof. The group took off for it, avoiding the zombies and their spit. They slammed the door shut behind them and Pat brushed off a little zombie flem.
     "Pat, what are you doing?" Cassie looked on, quite confused, while Orlin was rather amused.
     Pat had pushed Drazin aside and opened the door, which looked like it was going to come off with each zombie roar. The zombies filed out one by one and as they did, they were done. Pat shot light beams from his hand and turned each zombie to grains of undead looking sand. They melted and piled up into a hill, eventually blocking the door from any more zombies as they got their fill.
     "Damn, fleabags. Drazin is really impressed with your human. When he doesn't have the voices in his head he can do a lot."
     Pat fell to one knee and smiled at Orlin and Cassie. He looked up at Drazin who finally got a clue as Pat started to go from one to two right in his view.
     "Drazin knew it. It figures you had to get that crazy woman to do all the work. Drazin takes back what Drazin said about your human, fleabags." Drazin marched to the side of the roof while the spirit of Truedessa lingered above the ground and then went, poof.
     "She's getting closer to taking form, then crazy Pat will once again be the norm." Orlin trotted off to the edge and one by one the group stood at the ledge.
     "So now what?"
     "What are you asking Drazin for, fleabag?"
     "You did cause this, you godly mook."
     Drazin and Cassie bickered for a while and then the four of them stared at something far more vile. It was creeping slowly up the street and they knew this zombie was going to be tough to beat.
     Optimistic Existentialist and Beate trotted hand and hand across the zombie land. They noticed the beauty in the guts sprawled on the outside of huts. They awed at some zombie guts in the shape of a heart outside of an old run down corner mart. The pair walked in, taking it as a sign, cheery about there being no line.
     "Why would people waste all of this stuff?" Optimistic asked as he went through the trash, thinking they could have quite the bash.
     "Because they don't see the beauty in it like you." Beate rubbed his back and readied a kissing attack.
     "What do we have here?" A big buffoon pranced on in, with a huge R on his t-shirt he thought no one could do him in.
     The pair eyed his bat, not finding any beauty in that. The large guy was rather round as he pranced about trying to be profound. Optimistic Existentialist shielded Beate behind him, sensing things were going to get grim. He searched for a weapon in the rubble below and found something that made the big R t-shirt wearing buffoon shout, "Oh no!"
     "See, there is beauty in everything. Except maybe him." Beate grabbed the Superman t-shirt from him and threw it on top of the buffoon on a whim.
     "No! R is the strength, not S.'t S...noooo!"
     The R t-shirt wearing buffoon cried like a little girl while the pair took off in a whirl. They did not know how long it would last and wanted to make him a thing of the past. They continued hand and hand down the street, spying a lemonade stand in the distance and wanting to beat the heat.
     Drazin and Pat's jaws were wide open and down to the ground as the super powered zombie left huge foot prints in the ground. It was the size of the jolly green giant and looked rather defiant. It was cement through and through. The thing was like a moving, drooling statue. It shook the land as it came near. It sure looked like something to fear.
     "Fleabags, does that super powered woman inside you human's head have a way out of this?"
     "She's out of juice and has to recharge. We get to deal with this bad Pokemon rip off thing ourselves." Pat picked his jaw up off the floor and knew this was going to be a chore.
     "As long as we don't miss let's kill it with piss."
     "Drazin thinks the fleabag has gone insane."
     "For once I agree with the godly mook." Cassie gave Orlin a strange look and watched as he started to scale down the wall like a crook.
     Orlin began trotting down the road looking as if he was in full on "I've got to pee mode" and  jumped onto the super powered cement zombie's toes. He then took a leak causing the zombie woes. It went right through, melting the zombies feet, which impressed the rest of the crew.
     "Drazin takes it back, the fleabag is good for something after all." Drazin laughed and everyone watched as the zombie fell to the ground, making a rather large sound.
     "I guess it's my turn." Cassie licked herself once again and jumped down leaving the two men.
     "Drazin can't believe this."
     "Yeah, you can beat cement zombies with cat piss. Who knew."
     Pat and Drazin stood above amused as the zombie was rather confused. Cassie took a leak on his other foot rather girlie like and no longer could the zombie hike. He lied on the ground just flailing around.
     "Looks like it is time Drazin...."
     "Oh he didn't."
     The two curled up their nose, it was bad enough with the toes, but Orlin moved up carefully to the zombies neck and soon the zombie was one big wreck. Orlin pissed on his neck and it went right through. The super powered cement zombie's head fell off and no longer could he spew.
     "That's an awful way to go, even for a zombie."
     "Beheading by cat piss, Drazin has truly seen it all."
     Cassie and Orlin both circled around the dead zombie's head, quite proud of themselves for causing the zombie dread. Pat and Drazin carefully climbed down from the rooftop, making it about half way and then just letting themselves drop.
     "Aren't you glad the cat had to go right on that zombie's toe?" Orlin pranced at Pat's feet and as Pat brushed him he took a seat.
     "It was very umm creative of you. I guess I will rhyme too."
     "Drazin isn't rhyming, but good job, fleabags."
     Cassie licked herself clean and Orlin stopped making a scene. The group scampered away before the zombies left inside the mall came their way. They had full stomachs and were relieved, as they left the super powered cement zombie way more than peeved.
     "And that makes eighty five percent of the world's bloggers dead. These cockroaches will soon no longer be a thorn in my side." Dr. Zoggif gloated until there was a knock at his door and then came another knock encore.
     "Alan, what are you doing in there? You are going to run the electricity bill through the roof."
     "Mom, go play bingo and leave me alone. I told you not to invade my space."
     "When you get a job and pay some bills I'll leave you alone. Now open this damn door."
     Dr. Zoggif sighed and sucked back some pride. He walked over and open the door a crack, listening to his mother's rant attack.
     "When are you going to get work? Where is that nice girl you had in here? Why don't you ever go outside?"
     "When my master plan is through, I'll never have to worry about any of that."
     "Hurry up with your master plan or you'll be out on the street."
     His mother stomped up the stairs and Dr. Zoggif gave her some evil glares. He then locked the door once again and retired back to the chair in his den. He saw eighty six percent of bloggers were now dead and began dreaming of care free days at club med.


Betsy getting zombies to clean? That about fits with her scene. Bloggers everywhere are biting the dust. Who can you really trust? We shall see what comes to pass as the adventures continue from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. "Hank was ready to fight as he kept every zombie in sight"
    That's what the Cat saw but did it create any of the fright
    Zombies come and go
    Insisting they want more
    But 86% of bloggers dead sure created much of the dread


    1. Yeah dread everywhere
      Off with ones head at many a lair

  2. Poor Adam. And hurrah for unorthodox solutions, it's a good thing the human and cats are wise to these things.

    1. Yeah just have to use your imagination for it
      And you can beat back any zombie spit

    2. maybe I'll come back as a zombie cyborg astronaut lawyer.

    3. lol you just never know
      How that will go

    4. The pay will probably be good.

  3. Deadly cat piss? The smell is toxic, so I believe it.
    Rotten Creepers. I will have to remember that name!

    1. Yep, especially the not snip snip smell
      Can cause even the undead nostrils hell

  4. A lovely image of Betsy's crew
    Cleaning up without a boo
    Zombies minding her direction
    Knowing there ain't no resurrection
    Zombie nuns are in demand
    But splattered parts can't do command
    Cat's holy power is in the pee
    See if there is an eternity

    1. lol holy powered pee
      Whoever thought that would come to be
      I may have to steal that
      And use it at my mat lol

  5. Toxic cat piss? What a shock!
    Still, it proves Orlin and Cassie really rock.

  6. Can't wait to see
    If R writes anything but "great post" again at your sea.

    1. lol doubt it will occur
      If so all eyes may blur

  7. First visit via Blue Grumpster - not from a dumpster. I knew that "S" would get his ass. Your site is wild - it made me smile, okay, I don't really do... anything like you... gee, really strange and yet magically delicious.

    1. Coming over because of grumpy blue
      I guess I owe him a kick or two
      Maybe some cat crap in a box
      That will ruffle is socks
      Always nuts over here
      Thanks for the peer

    2. A kick or two
      How about some golden poo
      Hide it in a shoe
      Like you always do
      Pretend you Santa for me
      In the place to be
      Or maybe put it in a box
      One that rocks
      Will a bit of roll in the mix
      And a beat that sticks
      Dixie's come to stay
      At your Kitty Cat Patt in the Hatt Bay
      Thanks to, well... you know, me
      Grumpy Goo, yes siree!

    3. Grumpy goo brought one
      Isn't that fun
      Poo in a shoe
      Is a present I can do
      Free as can be
      Can even add pee

  8. I will again pass on zombie fare
    creeps me out over at my lair.

    1. haha the undead are scary?
      At least they aren't hairy

  9. Hahahaha! Really enjoyed this stuff
    Jaha aw Betsy she is funny:)
    And love the part of Keith and Beate:)
    They trotted hand and hand across the zombie land:)omy!
    Love it!

    1. haha they trotted away
      After some R play
      Betsy enjoys her zombie crew
      But hmm what is it they really do?

    2. So how come everybody is laughing haha?
      You know I don't want to crack my face....

    3. Might turn a different shade
      Watch out for getting sprayed by Raid

    4. All I need is a sexy elf
      One or two on your shelf

    5. I'd take three
      Just for a spare at my sea

  10. Hey, Pat,
    where you're at!
    I'll be printing this off later, so I can enjoy it with a cup of coffee after I get back from an appointment. Happy writing; the adventure continues and I can't wait to see where this goes!

    1. Yeah a long one to read
      Hopefully it does the deed

  11. Oh, this was rather amusing with my tea
    Betsy, has everything in order at her sea
    can it be true R is afraid of superman power
    whining as zombies continue to devour
    Truedessa still locked inside Pat's head
    is she wearing a dress of fire engine red
    She knows the way, from here to there
    whispering secrets she willingly shares
    how to hold up the bridge of light
    with swords they will defend and fight
    Orlin is one phenomenal wild cat
    all the wonders inside a magical hat

    1. Orlin can go on a spree
      Stopping zombies with a little pee
      Cassie can help out too
      A bit more ocd at our zoo
      Betsy has all down
      But all may not be what it seems at her town
      Truedessa will get out of the head
      And have to deal with the super undead

  12. Where can I get one of these cool R t-shirts? And more importantly, if I wear one, will it make my post great?

    1. haha - that is hilarious I am rolling on the floor..Great Post...

    2. lmao could put them up for sale
      R may then hit the great post trail

    3. Clever comment, I am giggling too ~

    4. haha the beer guys are good
      There in their hood

  13. Well I am not into Zombies myself. But that was a good story. Happy Thursday to everyone.

  14. So the big bad has mommy issues? No wonder he is so mean

    1. Yeah mommy issues as he lives at home
      maybe he just doesn't like to roam

  15. I guess if zombies attack we should all stock up on cat pee

    1. If they are cement type zombies it will work
      Other zombies may find it a perk

  16. Dang, those zombies are so full of energy!

  17. Oh no. Blog killing zombies. I hope I am not one of them.

  18. orlin N casie

    guess we willna bee tossin R litter box waste any mor !!!!

    ...who knew what cat pee could due !!!

    awesum post two day guys !!

    1. Yep, have to keep that waste
      Can turn zombies to paste

  19. betsy smells like hell,
    better watch it she will
    send 100 cats to ring your bell,
    death by cat piss beheading is brutal
    just saying...

    1. haha a brutal well to go
      But the zombie is dead you know
      Not afraid of her
      Bring on the fur

    2. what a good idea, my twin....
      that kind of death would not be a sin! ha.

    3. Death by fluff
      Cat have to get rough

  20. Walking Dead has made me a huge zombie fan
    Never thought that would be the plan
    I don't know if Beate is the zombie type
    She might hit them with a metal pipe

    1. Whack them upside the head
      One way to kill the undead

  21. Oh nooo! Zombies killing off the bloggers! Not cool! Even though I want my own tribe of pet zombies now. So much fun to be had over at your spot!!

    1. haha a tribe of pet zombies you can keep
      As out their goo on the floor will seep

  22. Beheading by cat piss? That's a new one.

  23. Cool on the stories Pat ~ I am laughing at the R shirt and Keith & Beate little adventure in between ~ No zombies for me though as I think they are overrated ~


    1. Throwing a whole bunch in
      Here at my blog bin

  24. I'll be staying away from those weirdo zombies.

  25. Look at what I almost missed!
    Me, smelling like a dead fish.
    And zombies following my commands?
    Something more than me is fishy in this land!

    1. Fishy it is
      With the zombie biz
      Wait a while
      As we turn the dial

  26. Glad, the light beams from the Pat's hand
    brought the Zombies' end!
    And also Cassie and Orlin brave team
    surrounded Zombies and pissed them.
    Who knew they all listen to Betsy command,
    who smelled like dead fish...but story was fun!

    1. A twist and turn
      The more we learn
      The more the zombies feel the burn
      Hopefully no piss is needed to return

  27. Is there such a thing
    As zombie cats?
    If so then Betsy
    Could destroy all that was Pat's

    1. Well in some there are
      Seen zombies dogs at my bar

  28. Thanks to you, now we all know what to do in the even of a zombie apocalypse. We just have to fill up our squirt guns with cat pee! (The trick will be in getting them to pee into those little bitty holes...)

    1. Yeah that could be a tough trick
      Might have to go with a brick

  29. Man, I was looking for a Great Post from "R". Guess you finally offended him.
    I may have to borrow some cat pee if the zombies attack. That seems to be one thing we don't have stocked here ;)

    1. haha dog might work too
      But not as acidic at ones zoo

  30. Bloggers are a flighty crew
    I guess it's cuz they pay their due
    Reading comments through and through


Post a Comment