You May Need A Beer After This Cheer!

Pat is also over at ummm Pat's today? What the hell? A new bay?

So the conversation guests today are two in one as they have their say.
But after my foray into cow testicle eating and my zombie feet treating, I
figured we should empty the seating. So A Beer For A Shower comes trick or
treating. Let's see if they can top used condom dumpster divers and bear
rape. Warning, we may cut the red tape.

B&B the cat may believe,
That you have nothing left up your sleeve.
How can you top your previous actions?
With gems like Wrestlers, Mormons and allergic reactions?

We just don't know if you can top your book *A Fart Apart*
Maybe you can buy something gross from the Fart Mart
If all else fails, inseminate a rotting pumpkin
Or maybe receive a post-burrito blumpkin

Wouldn't you get some kind of dry rot?
That would sure irritate your umm walls a lot.
But should a book to top that you need,
Have Slim educate on "The Secret Meaning of Cat Pee" for a read.

You don't get dry rot you actually get blue waffle
which is a sort of gooey, pustule infected vaginal kerfuffle
And the homeless do love their toilet wine,
Tasting like watery, sour yogurt with a touch of cat pee brine.

So their toilet wine is like a swimming pool?
Drinking chlorine, Giardia and 0.14 grams of fecal matter is cool?
And 1 in 5 swimmers piss in the pool too.
Damn, market that and the dough will be rolling in for you.

We prefer to sell Krokodil, the Russian zombie drug
Make your skin rot into green cream cheese covered in bugs
Then just shave it all off, breathe in that wonderful Kroko smell
Put it in a tortilla and open your very own Taco Bell

Those high after eating Balut must think it sweet,
To add such a treat that will rot them head to feet.
Then Jocelyn Wildenstein will be crowned queen,
That plastic creation has nothing left to eat, not even a spleen.

So let's celebrate with tubgirl and a quadruple amputee,
Get everyone together and don't forget goatse,
Bring two girls, one cup, and some Bacardi
Then we can have a big fat lemon party.

Add some sheep sweat to create a certain aroma,
Have everyone board the Oscar Mayar Wiener mobile to Oklahoma.
Take center stage with "Old MacDonald" to farm life that never shave. 
Let dandruff fill your nostrils ushering in a new "Things done in the barn come home with you" wave.

Make sure you bring your Velcro gloves
So you can give those sweaty sheep some proper love
Anyway, after all this gross rhyming the taste left behind is sour
So if you'll excuse us both we each need a mental shower.

And that is what happens when the beer guys get with the rhyming cat, the rhymes make your lunch want to go splat. I excuse you to go take a shower or three there at your sea. And no one even got crass with this sass that came to pass from the beer guys and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. I never thought I'd see
    Slim mentioned in a post with cat pee
    or more disgusting to the point of a big hurl
    was reading about a cup and two girls
    only the Beer Boys and you
    would discuss nasty waffle goo
    why did I visit so early in the morn
    when all this wackiness was born
    to make me sick?
    as a favorite post, this one's my pick!

    (Hey, not fair that the Beer Boys added pictures! hahaha)

    1. lol we want to see how low we could go
      I think we got down pretty low
      Nasty as can be
      A good diet for many
      Have a read
      And no want to eat is in need
      Hey, if you can draw
      The cat will put a one eyed pic in no matter how raw lol

  2. "You May Need A Beer After This Cheer!"
    Rightly so, some celebrations have no fear
    Survive and Thrive
    Another site to jive
    Bloghopping, readying for full swing next year?


    1. Haha and run away
      With that stuff on display
      But yeah another site
      Comes to light
      But only once a week
      Do I post to that creek

  3. imagining you OCD
    made you flee, cause some of this is disgusting
    ooey gooey indeed

    1. lol if near in real life
      I'd run, would cause ocd strife

  4. lol on the Weiner Mobile. I saw it at Ford Museum in Detroit once, but they weren't giving out rides. ;)

    1. Oh where I could go
      But I'll remain out of the gutter at my show

  5. After reading this, I will never again eat a waffle
    As this blue one sounds awful
    And perhaps should be unlawful

    1. Yeah they should be outlawed
      See them and your eyes may need to be clawed

  6. This is the one time I won't way I'll have what they're having...

  7. Those guys are so funny. I found them from coming to your blog and reading the comments.

    1. They are sure fun
      Throw in a rhyming cat and all run

  8. Um what?! Is blue waffle really a thing because if it is I am disturbed!

    1. lol go have a look
      You may not eat for a while at your nook

  9. I learned a lesson not to eat breakfast while reading your post,
    I can't even pick a line that upset my stomach the most.

    1. haha guess our plan worked out well
      Causing stomachs everywhere hell

    2. I'm with Susan; that was pretty bad!
      You've made my tummy very sad!

    3. Save you on the grocery bill
      Doesn't that thrill?

  10. I am glad I have eaten breakfast already
    otherwise I would have lost my taste for it.

    1. You are in the know
      To eat before giving my rhyme a go

  11. All that yummy food you mention
    Stuff served truly at convention
    Beer guys sure know how to survive
    Serving guests as they arrive
    Hats off to you, oh wise beer guys
    No one can top you with many tries

    1. So you'll be the first to eat
      Such a tasty treat?
      Might get worms
      And some other germs

  12. Awww, I'm so flattered to see so many people getting violently ill by our handiwork. That's just inspiring. I firmly believe that the bad karma I should get from writing this filth was simultaneously canceled out by our good deed of helping children today, so you posting this today of all days is surely no mistake.

    1. haha everything is now even in the world
      As you made the kids happy and those here hurled

  13. This post had Beer Guys written all over it
    And it didn't seem healthy one bit.
    I assure you this did make me ill,
    But as poetry goes this was not run-of-the-mill.

    Wrote By Rote

    1. haha healthy is at the other sea
      Where no rhyming is done by me
      But yeah not run of the mill
      May give the search engine crazies a thrill

  14. Wait, is this a halloween post? to scare the morning, day, month, year, eternity ?
    Guess what you won.

    Some combos should never work. Rhyming cat and beer for the shower .
    Thank god your "The bizarre superstar" was spared.

    1. haha the bizarre superstar was toned down
      What? You don't like when the beer guys visit my town lol

  15. I am pretty sure there is a FartMart here where we live!

    1. I think I can find a few
      That are here near my zoo

  16. Certainly an interesting tale you spun today
    and I have to agree
    a beer would sound good after these words
    too bad I can't have a beer this early

    as work beckons me
    and I think they would frown
    if I was a bit smashed
    when I was supposed to be coming around


    1. Yep, a beer would chase things away
      That you read today
      But work may frown indeed
      If you show up drunk at your feed

  17. It feels with today drills
    we all have to take the shower
    to heal our fever of
    mental scrabble.

    1. haha everyone sure need a cleaning
      After today's screening

  18. Well this is out of my league but like betty sad, an interesting tale and a glass of wine might make all this a little better. But nice try. Have a good day Pat.

    1. haha yeah really out there
      wine makes all better at ones lair

  19. I don't know what to say except...ewwww. I can't chase with beer, it's weird. Toilet wine? Not so fine.

    Going now to the other bay!

    1. hahaha ewww is the right word
      For all of the absurd

  20. I think a Haz-Mat suit would work well, instead of velcro gloves.

  21. Haha! Nothing but the best from the Beer Guys!

    1. As they make all hurl
      With their rhyming whirl

  22. When I thought things couldn't get weirder here
    You and the beer guys bring on the queer
    And I don't mean anything sexual by that
    Though Jocelyn Wildenstein does
    And she wants it stat.

    1. haha there is always a way
      To raise the bar at my bay

  23. Replies
    1. Go a rub a dub dubbing
      And get a good scrubbing

  24. I'll pass on the toilet wine, bleh! I wonder what fancy name they'd call the bottle.

  25. orlin N cassie

    uh....we iz act shoo a lee speech less on thiz one !!!

    1. lmao damn we are good
      making you speechless in our hood

  26. That was some sick tale..glad I didn't read this in the am..
    But, I do like the beer guys cartoons..I'll pass on the
    wine as well...yucky...

    1. haha the cat doesn't mind
      Sick of some kind
      Have to let all know
      The nasty stuff in the pools down below

  27. I'd never order those waffles at IHOP...

  28. I actually like the idea of a book called "A Fart Apart." Kids do love their fart books.

  29. I think from now on you and the beer guys should stay in separate rooms for the sake of my lunch

    1. haha didn't taste the same coming back up?
      Hopefully you hit a trash can or cup

  30. Nothing tasty on the menu
    But I quite like the venue

    1. As long as that venue is grand
      Works for my land

  31. I know what I won't be having for breakfast tomorrow. Yuck!

  32. The disclaimer title helped, but didn't fully prepare my mind,
    for such a terrifying and disturbing mental bind.
    You've outdone yourself with this one,
    and I think now I better run.

  33. yep, my lunch went splat... and I'm officially off Taco Bell ;)

    1. The cat may run them out of business at my sea
      They may come after me

  34. Oh yuck. I shouldn't have read this post until I ate my breakfast.

    1. haha should know better at your sea
      As the cat can be eww with glee

  35. Yep, my lunch went splat. I may never eat another waffle or yogurt, thanks to the image you've left in my mind. :)

  36. Gross. Ew. Ick.
    Feeling sick
    Those Beer Guys
    Had a surprise

    and not the nice kind :-)

    1. lol yeah one of a kind
      Putting nasty thoughts in the mind


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