If only I had eaten it when I had the chance. I should have gave it more than a glance. But I was too busy snoozing in the sun. Now because I was lazy there isn't one. The sun has been blocked out. We have barely any trout. The food supply has run dry. Litter is no longer piled high. The Earth has stopped spinning. They are now winning.
There isn't much a cat can do. They no longer can fit in the loo. Humans have gone underground. They have even taken out many a hound. Run and don't be seen is the only way to stay alive. I am not sure how much longer any of us will survive. There are more birds than cats now. I can't even say that anyone would have a cow. The cows are all dead. Many other species have also bled.
That planet united in one final shot, but they caught onto the plot. Not even a nuke could take them down. Instead they bounced them back toward any old town. It did not matter to them. They just spit some phlegm. That stuff is as nasty as can be. I once got some on me. Poor Cassie lost most of her fur because of it. Pat took a major hit. He can no longer talk. The phlegm severed his vocal cord when he tried to gawk. I think that one is on me. I shouldn't have been so lazy and let it get free.
I look back on that day and wish it went another way. It crawled across the floor like any other but then it became the Mother. It birthed millions of them and they all grew. Their size was something completely new. If it hadn't consumed my shit, Earth wouldn't have taken a hit. Everyone would still be alive and we wouldn't be down to a million humans trying to survive. We only have two million cats. Hell, they even took out most of the rats. They consume and never stop. Every species is nothing but another crop.
I think this is the end. This is the final message I can send. The internet is slowly dying as the circuits they are frying. I had to use dial up to get this far. That was like riding in an old wooden car. All because that spider consumed my shit, we are on the brink of it. Extinction is at hand as giant spiders roam the land. Not even the cockroaches will live to tell the tale. But if by somehow the giant spiders should fail, I just wanted to let you know I wish I could go back and deal Mother her final blow. I feel our extinction is going to come to pass. I hope somewhere everyone can forgive my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
There isn't much a cat can do. They no longer can fit in the loo. Humans have gone underground. They have even taken out many a hound. Run and don't be seen is the only way to stay alive. I am not sure how much longer any of us will survive. There are more birds than cats now. I can't even say that anyone would have a cow. The cows are all dead. Many other species have also bled.
That planet united in one final shot, but they caught onto the plot. Not even a nuke could take them down. Instead they bounced them back toward any old town. It did not matter to them. They just spit some phlegm. That stuff is as nasty as can be. I once got some on me. Poor Cassie lost most of her fur because of it. Pat took a major hit. He can no longer talk. The phlegm severed his vocal cord when he tried to gawk. I think that one is on me. I shouldn't have been so lazy and let it get free.
I look back on that day and wish it went another way. It crawled across the floor like any other but then it became the Mother. It birthed millions of them and they all grew. Their size was something completely new. If it hadn't consumed my shit, Earth wouldn't have taken a hit. Everyone would still be alive and we wouldn't be down to a million humans trying to survive. We only have two million cats. Hell, they even took out most of the rats. They consume and never stop. Every species is nothing but another crop.
I think this is the end. This is the final message I can send. The internet is slowly dying as the circuits they are frying. I had to use dial up to get this far. That was like riding in an old wooden car. All because that spider consumed my shit, we are on the brink of it. Extinction is at hand as giant spiders roam the land. Not even the cockroaches will live to tell the tale. But if by somehow the giant spiders should fail, I just wanted to let you know I wish I could go back and deal Mother her final blow. I feel our extinction is going to come to pass. I hope somewhere everyone can forgive my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
HELLO CAT!
ReplyDeleteWho do you call on your kitty mat?
No wickbusters in town
Making you feel like a clown
Saw that dino flick the other day
Giving it 4 out of 5 at my bay
Trained dinosaurs... yeah right
And I don't snore in the middle of the night
Some stupid rebooted scenes too
Thanks for finding my blue suede shoe
A great present... Can I show it... Is it mine?
Showing off a blue shoe like a bottle of wine
Is Hank gonna outONE me at your show
Or could this be six in a row?
Hank wasn't around
DeleteSo trained dinos like a hound?
I'll wait for the dvd
Here at my sea
That pic will be in a book
haha you just got a sneak look
Can use away though
For a show
Blue calling Kity Cat...
ReplyDeleteCome in, Kity Cat....
Everyone is dead and gone at my show
Game over, you know....
I've got two bottles of booze
Might as well have my final snooze...
Blue calling Kitty Cat...
Are you there?
I've got my shoe...
It's blue
Cat?
Hello?
Anyone?
I'm the last survivor...
DeleteMy spellling's gone to hell....
This is Blue, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.
what is with all this doom's day talk
Deleteno one is signing off anywhere...
I hear a voice, it's very faint
DeleteI think it's saying what it ain't
It ain't King Tut, he's really gone
They took him out for a song
Oh my god, I hear the bell
It's Ding Dong Dairy trying to sell
Toss him a buck, what the hell
It's grand to go out with the final bell
lol the cat's dial up fizzled out
DeleteBut he is still able to shout
The spiders are drawing near
May as well suck back the beer
Another good one under your belt Pat.
ReplyDeleteYou must have a wonderful imagination.
Yvonne.
Glad it is grand
DeleteHere in my land
Great post!
DeleteYipppeeee
DeleteFor meeee
At your Kitty sea!
DeleteWith a goat
DeleteIn a boat
You must have some really toxic poop if it did that to a spider.
ReplyDeleteNow we'll all died because you were too lazy to get up and squash it.
lol the cat couldn't be bothered to get up
DeleteDamn, can't even blame a pup
"Come And Play The End Of Day!"
ReplyDeleteGiant spiders can cause more dismay
What do they eat
Poo! ok got it!
They can have whatever come their way
Hank
They can have whatever now
DeleteAfter their crap pow wow
My baby girl has an unhealthy fear of spiders. It's fun (mean?) to tease her. I should spin a web on this tale for her. Pun totally intended. :)
ReplyDeleteor spin a tale on this tale? hmm...
Deletehaha spin away
DeleteTeases all through the day
Fun indeed
Bah to mean at your feed
I've saved three bullets in my gun
ReplyDeleteWill I take it like a nun?
One for Cody, Puss and me
Time to go the final spree
I knew they'd start in January
Frozen North is quite contrary
Marmot bag is only heat
Goosey down just can't be beat
Who thought it would end with a creepy crawler
Oh if cat were only taller
He'd stomp him dead with Blue's suede shoe
Out would come cat's slimy poo
HELP I can't get out of this rhyme
It just grows bigger all the time
Just like when you tell a lie
Your nose keeps growing to the sky
Zip up your bag and drink your rum
The really final end has come
haha the better way to go
DeleteIf you can get out of your flow
Sure beats becoming spider crap
As they take over the map
Or maybe Pinocchio is the case
Just a growing lie all over the place
Maybe as well drink either way
Then you can forget about the spiders using you as a food tray
Where are the super-heroes when they are needed?
ReplyDeleteAll wore out
DeleteFrom hulking out with a shout
Really?? You had to make it be SPIDERS?! Why can't it be a fairy that ate your poop and decided to take over the world. Sigh...
ReplyDeletelol spiders are more realistic, right?
DeleteEverything is realistic about it at my site
Ew. Spiders? .....shiver....
ReplyDeletehope you connection gets better....or was this like 5 months ago? ha.
lol those spiders killed it
DeleteNow there is no connection for us to hit
Hmm believe me
At my sea?
Spiders must really like your crap
ReplyDeleteThat they must
DeleteIn cat crap they trust
Well we sure hope you get everything back and those darn spiders go on their way somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteThat would be nice
DeleteAfter we paid the price lol
Spiders that are super large? Need your aliens to help out
ReplyDeleteThey may probe
DeleteAfter they save the globe
I think my Dad would move out if there were big spiders!
ReplyDeleteMove and run
DeleteAs Eight Legged Freaks are no fun
Nice piece of writing Cat. Has a bit of a Clive Barker feel to it. I could analyze it from a Freudian perspective as well. Mother, phlegm, poo, severed vocal cords, all the basic elements are there hahahahaha.
ReplyDeletelol Freud can bite me
DeleteBut got them all there to see
Freud was a freak and a cocaine addict. Why anybody believed his crazy theories is beyond me.
DeleteYeah, he was nuts as can be
DeleteYet people still think he is an authority
So, this is a "feel good" post.
ReplyDeletelol instant feel good theme
DeleteMaybe just a dream
No Cat? No Pat?
ReplyDeleteInstant spat.
Spat you say
DeleteJust don't spat on any, okay
I think I want to go in the final boom
ReplyDeletedon't want to be left behind and maybe alone
better to go quickly then have to scrounge around
and horrors if there was no phone
betty
Yeah, scrounging around would suck
DeleteThose left would be out of luck
lol, I would think the end is near too if we reverted back to dial-up internet. NOOOOOOOOOO.
ReplyDeletehaha yeah that would suck
DeleteBack up the truck
At least we have someone to blame, lol.
ReplyDeletelol blame away
DeleteAt my bay
Spiders will get you every time.
ReplyDeleteThat they will
DeleteWith their super pill
It's definitely the end of the world if the Internet is dying!
ReplyDeleteSlowly dying day by day
DeleteWith dial up on display
orlin N cassie....tell yur dad ta watch de mewvie tarantula...itz awesum !! we had ta laff coz gram paw dude used ta eat spiders...well, he chewed em.... then spit em bak out on de floor ~~
ReplyDeleteHeerz two a longnose whiptail catfish kinda week oh end ♥♥♥
lol spit them back on the floor
DeleteHave to look up that one at my shore
Can't be doomsday with all the spiders running around...look outside, its warm and sunny, smiles ~
ReplyDeletelol it was all a dream at my sea?
DeleteDamn, they sure fooled me
It took an hour for me
ReplyDeleteTo read email at my sea
Good to know
I'm not the only one facing such woe
Is it time to run and flee
Or upgrade and become a zombie?
An hour you say
DeleteDamn, for that you pay?
Need to get martha to help out
Sure she'll make them shout
I think I found a black widow in a sticky trap at my old workplace once. I made sure it didn't crawl away
ReplyDeleteGood way to be
DeleteStomp it with glee
Have you seen the spiders who have been given drugs? It shows what can happen especially when they are given crack cocaine-youtube it
ReplyDeleteI'll have to see
DeleteIs it scary
Spiders and Dial Up Internet. That's the stuff nightmares are made of!
ReplyDeleteA scary way
DeleteTo start a day
Every species is nothing but another crop. This is so true on all levels.
ReplyDeleteSpot on at my sea
DeleteWho would have guessed of me
Well you've left us in a nice, big pickle
ReplyDeleteNot a dime, not a nickel
Spiders roam and rule us now?
Would have preferred a horse or a cow
Cow has big crap
DeletePlus they eat twice each poor sap
My Daughter is so afraid of any spider... even the little bitty baby ones
ReplyDeletehaha can scare her at your sea
DeleteAnd watch her flee