It Works With Tons of Perks!

Don't you love the fly by night crap? They always try and suck in a sap. It works they always claim. When it ends up being very, very lame. But I'm sure that you know. Still giving it a go though.

100% effective it is.
Listen to our biz.
We tested it out on 99% of all.
Shhh, all that was stationed in an abandoned hall.

You won't regret this.
It brings such bliss.
It will heal your back.
Shhh, may give you a heart attack.

We've got just the thing for you.
It was tested thoroughly at our zoo.
You may just buy two.
Shhh, we really tested it at a zoo.

Will make your life great.
Nothing else can relate.
Buy it now and have it forever.
Shhh, forever is a short endeavor.

As seen on TV.
That means it is great for thee.
If you see it in view it can't be wrong.
Shhh, just nod with the model and play along.

Guaranteed to work or your money back.
It is so good it will never lack.
We know you want it.
Shhh, there is fine print about that first bit.

The next big thing.
Grab your phone and ring.
You'll want it right now.
Shhh, it's not yet a cash cow.

You can't live without one.
It helps life a ton.
Get yours today.
Shhh, we may exaggerate what we say.

Get yours while supplies last.
They are going really fast.
Soon they will be all gone.
Shhh, our full warehouse doesn't know about our con.

Won't ever let you down.
It holds the crown.
You just can't get another.
Shhh, we're out to fool you and your mother.

Love these claims at your sea? Are they believed by thee? See these things in ads everywhere. They think they can just say something rare. Next up people shall buy. Pfffft, most of the time just one big lie. All a pile of crap. Tested on nothing but some poor chimp or chap. Oh, but it is 100% true for every landmass. Pffft again says my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.


  1. Replies
    1. Blue and Hank are asleep
      or on the road, like a toad
      and viola there you are #1

    2. Got on in
      For the win
      Been a while
      Blue Wave sucked out a mile

    3. Thanks Alex and Truedessa
      Was up late for a bit
      Was falling asleep
      But had to try it

    4. The cat ruined your sleep
      Here at his keep

  2. False, empty claims
    Are everywhere in life
    Take it with a grain of salt
    Or you may be in for strife

  3. So called research which everyone gets hoodwinked by, I'm afraid. And we fall for it over and over again.

    1. Hoodwinked is the word
      As the research is usually absurd

  4. When I was in high school my mon bought me this "exfoliator" that was supposed to act like shaving your legs. Needless to say, when I used it, the hair was removed, but there was enough dead skin around to think someone sanded a piece of wood. Ouch much? Talk about as seen on TV. Hahaha

    1. hahaha ouch to that
      Hope you ditched it like scat
      Sandpaper is cheaper too
      May as well use that at your zoo

  5. Not much truth in advertising anymore. Except that baconator as seen on TV. That sucker is the bomb!

    1. Was there ever truth in it?
      Something like smoking would never ever cause cancer and shit

  6. Gone, gone and almost gone
    Quicker than you grow a lawn
    Buy it now, it's tried and true
    Slicker than the morning dew
    Without this you can never live
    But salemen lie so do forgive

    1. Forgive one and all
      What is spouted at each hall
      So if you are a sucker
      Don't clench and pucker
      Just let it go
      Have to forgive you know

  7. It Works With Tons of Perks!
    What they did to be real jerks
    Would pull a fast one
    Knocked them stunned
    Not to believe all these quirks


    1. The quirks suck one in
      And they usually aren't a win

  8. As Seen on TV - and yet available without shipping and handling in stores. Never could figure out why people would want to order from the television.

    1. Yeah, seems kinda dumb to do
      When no shipping at stores comes through

    2. For those of us
      Who can't get out
      TV or online shopping
      Is what it's about

    3. Online I can see
      But not really TV

  9. Madison Avenue obviously speaks Canadian too. As Barnum and Bailey said, "A sucker is born everyday."
    To tell the truth, I've been the sucker a few times too. We ain't getting out of this world alive. I try to make the best of things, but I know very little of real value can be bought at a store.

    1. Yeah, I've been a sucker in life once or twice
      Learned my lesson so no repeat price

  10. Well,now they have those little stores
    in the mall full of products as seen on TV
    I have to admit I go in for a laugh and
    often leave with the wth look...

    1. Yeah, I've seen a few
      I give them one little view
      As I walk by
      Not falling for their lie

  11. My kids learned their lesson the hard way a few times. Once with the Magic Drawing Board, another with a SpongeBob launcher (launched about six inches).

    1. Always makes it seem better on TV
      When crap comes to be

  12. Got love As Seen On TV
    Buy One Get One Free
    Don't worry about the little growth on your arm
    I'm sure it's not causing you any kind of harm
    and it's certainly not from taking our pill
    our product isn't making you ill
    What? Our phone number didn't change
    You just wrote them down all rearranged
    No, no please don't sue
    Have a million bucks at your zoo....

    1. haha about the size of it
      I'd sure for such a hit
      But then I'd have to be dumb
      And buy and then some

  13. I think I've never ordered anything that I saw on TV...I just don't believe those promises.
    It does help to generally avoid ads to not get tempted into buying things I don't need ;)
    Have a great week!

  14. Replies
    1. lol there's no more
      Damn, I'm not coming to your store

  15. And the best part is that for a limited time, they will send you two of their wonderful product instead of just one.

  16. They are fun to watch with the commercials
    But most of them I don't think really work
    However people still buy the products
    Does that make them jerks?


    1. Con artists it may make them in the end
      As they drive people around the bend

  17. They always throw in the extra knives too!

  18. I hate it when people try to sell to me and make such ridiculous claims.

  19. I hate it when people try to sell to me and make such ridiculous claims.

  20. I don't believe any of those claims you see
    Now if they said "It's not great, but cheap,"
    I'd buy it to reward their honesty.

    1. Maybe one should try that
      Could work where they are at

  21. I sure don't listen to all the ads on TV since who knows if they are telling the truth. I just buy what I know will work or taste good and be good for you.

    1. That is the best way to be
      As they all lie to you and me

  22. Those late-night ads
    can cause me a fit.
    They're really so bad.
    'cept for the Catheter Sampler Kit.

  23. omg, yes, yes, and yes. I feel like all of a sudden people are pitching these products on like every channel. It's overwhelming! Esp. the wraps... Sorry, I want to support you trying to make money but I do not believe that a wrap around my stomach will make me skinnier... egad!

    1. lmao yeah, that is sure not the truth
      Still weigh the same at your booth

  24. You should totally get one of these. Dipshit expression sold separately.

  25. Replies
    1. The fine print will get you every time!

    2. Not four for three?
      Damn, almost had me

      That it will
      Takes your bill

  26. Have to learn to ignore all of that these days. Once you take advantage of a "special" offer, your spam skyrockets!

    1. Yep, spam comes on in
      Sure can fill an email bin

  27. I figure if they have to convince me their product is good.
    Then I'd keep away from it, yes I would.

  28. Don't fall for that. It's mostly crap.

  29. orlin N cassie......whoa....fora wee minit when we saw de werdz... fly by nite... we thinked thiz waz gonna be a bass terd burd post....thanx for changin it up.....we owe ya !! ☺☺☺ ♥♥♥

  30. I hate animal testing.
    I'm sure you do too.

  31. Nope, I never believe them anyway ~ Have to be careful what they say as its all done to get your money ~

    Have a good week Pat ~

  32. I've wasted too much money believing those ads! Fool me once, fool me twice, hell I'm gullible - fool me again.
    I never learn. :)

  33. The following reply
    Is brought to you by
    The dating agency
    That's good for thee
    If you don't get a date
    That aint so great
    If that be the case
    No disgrace
    The next six months are free
    For you and also me
    Six more months
    Of feeling the dunce.

    Gary, Gary, quite contrary...

    1. Ugg to that
      Hate where we're at
      Dating crap
      Across the map
      Fooling a sap
      With each trap

  34. Hey I believe it when all one has to do is spray something in a boat to make it float. Why always a boat? I should buy this to fix my roof...who needs shingles?

    1. Could keep the roof ready
      It would hold up steady

  35. My husband is a sucker for that kind of crap. He buys the dumbest stuff, too. Like a banana slicer. WTF do you need a banana slicer for? A butter knife works just as well. I just cleaned out my kitchen of all the useless junk he's bought over the years. Sad thing is, he doesn't even cook. I don't know why he keeps buying this junk!

    1. But Katy Perry wore an 'as seen on Tv' bumpit!! lolol Funny it made such a huge headline. Guess the publicity it gave her made it worth the $19.99 and free shipping! ;) And it did give her the beehive look... so some of them work? buwahahaha to the banana slicer :)

    2. haha maybe he does it to make you ask why?
      Or he could just do it on the fly

      Some of them work for a while
      But then they break and go out of style

  36. Got another one just the other day
    For only $75 we'll bring more hits at your bay
    Let's see if I get it right today
    Pffft is all I have to say

    1. lol yep, they are all fake
      With the hit partake

  37. So much crap advertised on late night TV
    if I see it adverted there
    I know it's not for me.
    These products cater to those who view all night
    viagara or pain killers or beauty products in sight
    just watching commercials gives me a fright!

    1. Yep, so scary they can be
      Glad I have no cable at my sea

  38. Are you saying the shake weight is not worth the money I paid for it?

    1. Probably not
      But it may work and hit the spot


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