The Redneck Way Gone Astray!

The redneck keeps it real today as she gets a What Off display. Did you ever wonder what her blog would be like if drinking were to take a hike? Well now you will know. May not want to though.

My alcohol is gone.
Wine out on the lawn.
Time for a new day.
Shed the redneck way.

Oh look, a cute story.
I'll show it in its glory.
Baby says its first word.
What a cute little turd.

Awww, I have to share this.
It just brings poor bliss.
Fireman saves cat in tree.
He never even got stung by a bee.

What about this?
You really can't miss.
A kid holding a hand to cross the street.
Such a story can't be beat.

Santa is out hearing wishes.
I just did the dishes.
Isn't it fun to be merry?
No need to showcase the scary.

Isn't this nice?
No wacky dice.
Just a nice and wholesome time.
It can even rhyme.

You want more?
I've got some in store.
Just keep reading.
More are seeding.

Like a stranger's kiss.
It brought on bliss.
The dog thought so anyway.
It humped the old and grey.

Forget condoms and lube.
You won't see this on the tube.
Super glue makes them get stuck.
That is one long umm game of pass the buck?

Oh, dam, I kida lied.
Wine i maay haav spied.
Whoo neds holsome anyway.
The reedneck isss hereeee too stay.

Not even a What Off lasted long with her. I guess the wacky makes her purr. You can't go giving the wholesome crap or she may go take a nap. Or just get drunk more. Who knows what she has hidden in each drawer. Plus it would be boring with no wacky sass. But now you know thanks to the What Off from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.


  1. Great verse Pat, brought a smile to the UK.

  2. The Redneck Way Gone Astray!
    And not the right way to play
    While Santa was here
    Welcoming the New Year
    They came to cause a disarray


  3. I bet her superpower is she can make wine disappear.

  4. Berries on the bush make wine
    Often it does turn out fine
    I have some brewing in a crock
    I hope it tastes better than Blue's old sock

    1. As long as not mushed with dirty feet
      Blah to that ever being sweet

  5. Why be stuck in the wholesome crowd
    When a redneck can shout it out loud?
    Gotta find some entertainment in this life
    Otherwise boredom will cut ya like a knife.
    So to the weirdos I raise a glass of cheer.
    And to you Pat 'cause you such a dear.
    I won't even pop any zits.
    'Cause you think thems the pits.
    But I'm gonna raise some hell with my Disco ball.
    And keep doin' crazy shit over at my hall.

    1. lol a literal knife I hope not
      That would be a crazy plot
      Could go to the slammer
      There there's no glamor
      The wine won't flow
      They may have laundry to do though
      Crazy shit works
      Has far more perks

  6. I've heard of Christmas in July,
    but August, I won't lie,
    is new to me.
    How can that be?
    Bet you wrote this months ago
    and gathered lines to give a quote.
    Redneck could cause a red face
    some would think it's a disgrace. haha.

    1. August is closer after all
      So may as well have a ball
      New from the cat
      How about that
      When your 365 posts ahead
      Things have long ago been said lol

  7. I would be sad if
    The wibe was all gone
    Not a good day here
    It would be all wrong


    1. Wine is needed
      For fun in many places to be seeded

  8. Beer and wine cost so much money
    too much of it and spending's funny
    (and I guess that could go either way, lol)

    1. lol can sure suck away the dough
      The more down the beer hole you go

  9. No, I haven't wondered what a redneck's blog would be like. Thank you for sharing with us anyhow.

  10. Which is worse? A redneck or a hillbilly?

    1. Hillbilly is far worse
      They can be more perverse

  11. Wine in a red solo cup
    That counts as sup
    Gnaw on a biscuit with gravy
    Y'all are darn savvy

    1. Sounds like you know
      A regular wino lol

    2. Sadly TX overflows with rednecks. I am still a damn Yankee thank goodness

    3. haha a Yankee staying
      Who needs a weird redneck displaying

  12. I don'y see YOU as a redneck.
    However I've no regret.
    Reading about your antics.
    Doesn't make me panic!

  13. "cute little turd" Hahaha!

    Everyone's comments made me crack up, too. I'm not nearly as clever.

    1. haha just popped in
      Many sure gave fun comments a spin

  14. I've known a few rednecks
    they can be fun, what the heck
    I'll drink a bit of wine

  15. Condoms, lube and superglue all in one paragraph. Doesn't sound fun at all.

  16. We know all about rednecks down this way!

  17. Redneck
    got wreck
    Well heck
    Laughs trek

  18. LOL, I agree, that was funny. Hope you have more wine in the cellar.

    1. She probably does
      Enough for a mighty fine buzz

  19. Actually I think beer is the beverage of choice:)

  20. Folks get necks of red here
    When drinking too much beer
    And in the sun too long seer...

  21. I'm still recovering from much wine on a Nova Scotian deck.
    Hope that doesn't make me a unholesome redneck!

    1. haha probably not
      Have to add to the redneck plot

    2. Yay, yay! Oh happy day!
      I'm caught up at your bay!
      Have a good one
      under your sun!

    3. Caught up is grand
      In my land

  22. The redneck does sure know how to party. Though I don't know about the glue and condoms. Sounds like a very sticky situation.

  23. Do rednecks drink wine from a dirty glass?
    or is bathtub gin their wine of class?

  24. If the fireman joined me
    On the lawn
    I'd serve him wine
    And over him I'd fawn


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