Percentages sure do and don't count. It all depends on the amount. The percentage I post is 100% of the time. Did any new a to z followers think I wouldn't drop a dime? But now on with it. Then end of my word percentage I'm about to hit.
Did that make sense?
Probably not one bit.
Seems some are just as dense,
Or like to make up shit.
Don't know about it?
Well now you will.
For it's okay if it's a bit.
Then you can get a thrill.
GLUTEN FREE!
Err ummm yep, sure is.
Free as can be,
As long as it is under the percentage of the biz,
TRANS FAT FREE!
Yeah, this one is sooooo true.
Whoops, the claim you may see,
But it's lying in your view.
A flip and a flop.
What of the reverse?
Surely there isn't such a crop?
Now hold in that curse.
EGYPTIAN COTTON SHEETS!
Yep, they are oh so great.
Whoops, turns out they are cheats.
Can say it as long as a tiny percent entwined is their fate.
1500 THREAD COUNT!
That is such a high sum.
Whoops, they doubled the amount.
Two sides to sheets as they play dumb.
KILLS 99.99% OF GERMS!
At least the ones known.
If in some new germs worms,
Whoops, lied at the tone.
We can say it is true.
Look it up if you will.
As long as it's in the stew,
Or below a certain bill.
Bah, screw all of that.
Who really needs to know?
Just follow where you're at,
And enjoy the percentage show.
Believe it all? Does it catch your eye at your hall? Do you buy because of such fancy claims? Pffft the cat won't fall for their games. Maybe I'll even make a dent in their little percent. Or just let them smell some gas that 100% of the time comes out my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
Did that make sense?
Probably not one bit.
Seems some are just as dense,
Or like to make up shit.
Don't know about it?
Well now you will.
For it's okay if it's a bit.
Then you can get a thrill.
GLUTEN FREE!
Err ummm yep, sure is.
Free as can be,
As long as it is under the percentage of the biz,
TRANS FAT FREE!
Yeah, this one is sooooo true.
Whoops, the claim you may see,
But it's lying in your view.
A flip and a flop.
What of the reverse?
Surely there isn't such a crop?
Now hold in that curse.
EGYPTIAN COTTON SHEETS!
Yep, they are oh so great.
Whoops, turns out they are cheats.
Can say it as long as a tiny percent entwined is their fate.
1500 THREAD COUNT!
That is such a high sum.
Whoops, they doubled the amount.
Two sides to sheets as they play dumb.
KILLS 99.99% OF GERMS!
At least the ones known.
If in some new germs worms,
Whoops, lied at the tone.
We can say it is true.
Look it up if you will.
As long as it's in the stew,
Or below a certain bill.
Bah, screw all of that.
Who really needs to know?
Just follow where you're at,
And enjoy the percentage show.
Believe it all? Does it catch your eye at your hall? Do you buy because of such fancy claims? Pffft the cat won't fall for their games. Maybe I'll even make a dent in their little percent. Or just let them smell some gas that 100% of the time comes out my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
1
ReplyDeletelate for the date
Deleteby one minute
and still made it!
now 5 in a row
but where did they go?
Hank
Good Mornung Hank!
DeleteStill on the go
DeleteEven if a minute out at my show
Good morning True, Ma'am!
DeleteHank
Afternoon now
DeleteWoweee wow
Wondeerful to read as always Pat. can always rely on a smile.
ReplyDeleteHave a good day.
Yvonne.
Glad it is grand
DeleteHere in my land
A Little Percent Doesn't Make A Dent!
ReplyDeletePushing their wares with all the rants
Did we buy it?
Not even a bit
Big laugh it was looking at all the fun
Hank
Look and don't buy in
DeleteCan sure be a win
Percentage matters when it comes to a high sum like buying a car or new home. Shop around for the best rate, owing is not a fun fate.
ReplyDeleteOwing sure does suck
DeleteAs interest rate can cost many a buck
If it says gluten free, I don't buy it. Can't wait for that craze to be over.
ReplyDeleteNot sure it will be
DeleteSeems stuck at every sea
Seems like it's that .01 germ that always sneaks through doesn't it?:)
ReplyDeleteYou have a great one, Pat.
Yep, that little germ always gets in
DeleteWanting to be the other 99.99% for the win
Remember the 4 out of 5 dentists recommend commercial? I still want to know what the 5th guy recommends!
ReplyDeleteYeah, who is the 5th guy
DeleteThe other 4 may lie
Why can't they makie it 100% without germs
ReplyDeleteSo close to it in their ads
But still buy the product
Its the best to be had
Betty
Yeah, better than none
DeleteTo let the germs run
They mess around with all our food
ReplyDeletePuts us in a de-pressed mood
A little of this, a little of that
People now want zero fat
Zero but still large
DeleteAs crap gets in by the barge
Remember the old ad in all the lands,
ReplyDeleteMelt in your mouth, not in your hands?
How many walls and doors show you
With colorful little hand prints it just isn't true?
Yeah, nice little prints
DeleteSure not window tints
I'll take note of percentage--
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's nice--
But the greatest advantage
For me is low price.
Forget the food fads
And the various scams.
And I'm definitely bailing
At gluten-free hams.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
Bailing on out
DeleteOf the gluten free trout
The old rubber shoe
Just wouldn't do
I like the ones that read 50% more. More than what?
ReplyDeleteYeah, more than before
DeleteBut what was before at their shore lol
I'm 100% certain - it's all lies! LOL
ReplyDeleteI too tired to care. But truth be told, I fall for it every time! There's one born every hour! ;)
Getting suckered in
DeleteCan sure make ones head spin
I give this post a 50/50 chance of success
ReplyDeleteNot 49 and 61
DeleteGeez, no fun
I wonder if I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and showed them under a microscope that my 1500 Thread Count Egyptian Sheets only had 1497 threads if I could get a refund and an apology?
ReplyDeleteAlso, at the grocery store over the weekend I got some unpopped popcorn that was certified gluten free. I mean, I don't know why any unpopped popcorn kernels would ever have flour inside of them to begin with, but you never can tell in this day and age. It's good to be 100% sure.
You never know until you try
DeleteAlthough counting them all may be hard on the eye
Have to use that hook
So people will look
And have to guarantee
That some plant worker's lunch never touched it and it is gluten free
That did make cents to me! Just don't get sheet faced!
ReplyDeleteStay three sheets to the wind
DeleteDon't get pinned
So many things
ReplyDeleteThey want us to try
Each one just sings
our money goodbye
Take it goes
DeleteCausing more woes
Hahaha, this is a great one. Yep, reminds me of the white lies concept. Those labels can be frustrating.
ReplyDeleteLittle or big
DeleteSuch white lies dance a jig
Always a catch . . .
ReplyDeleteHave to watch out
DeleteAs one is always about
It's amazing all of the claims on packages these days. Who knows what's true and what's not anymore :(
ReplyDeleteYeah, all a load of crap
DeleteAs they peddle it across the map
I don't go for fat free
ReplyDeleteThat can fly up a tree.
I don't have a certain disease
So gluten free , oh please!
4 out of 5 doctors say it's good.
Who is that 5th doctor or is he made of wood?
Maybe he is a statue
DeleteLooking right at you
Has that evil glare
Stating buyer beware
So cute!
ReplyDeleteHave a nice week!
Gil Zetbase
Yippeee
DeleteFor meee
The only thing
ReplyDeleteI know for sure
Is I'm 100% right
Would you concur?
:-)
Can I 99% agree
DeleteWould that work for thee?