The internet sure is great. It is first rate. You can find rats having sex or even turn up a hex. Hey, some search engine nut found me with the former one. And you can also help lazy ass employers a ton.
A resume you say?
What may I ask is that?
Who needs such a display.
You are just a stat.
Go to our site.
Fill out our form.
I assure you it won't bite.
This is our norm.
Answer questions galore.
Give it your best.
You may make it through the door,
If you pass the test.
Otherwise, you'll stay on file.
6 months to be exact.
Then you can hit redial.
Hopefully you're in on the act.
It isn't really a test.
It is more of a getting to know you.
We want to see your zest.
We can tell if you answer with one or two.
Actually we can't.
Nope, not one bit.
I'm just a worker ant.
The computer does that shit.
You are in the system.
Now let the computer factor it all.
We'll slowly twist em.
Scrutinizing each ball.
Actually we won't.
Nope, not one bit.
Sexual harassment we don't.
The computer does that shit.
Write the big long essay.
We want to know you more.
Don't just say hey,
If you want in the door.
In the system with a click.
Your data will be computed.
Wasn't that some slick?
Reading resumes has been muted.
Hiring sure is streamlined more and more. Ever have to fill out some system crap at your shore? They ask stupid things and then if you get picked out, they'll give the same stupid questions in the interview a shout. Redundant much? Yep, more than a touch. Lazy asses let computers do all the work. Gotta have that time saving perk. They are sure taking place in mass. So annoying filling the crap out 50 times over for my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
A resume you say?
What may I ask is that?
Who needs such a display.
You are just a stat.
Go to our site.
Fill out our form.
I assure you it won't bite.
This is our norm.
Answer questions galore.
Give it your best.
You may make it through the door,
If you pass the test.
Otherwise, you'll stay on file.
6 months to be exact.
Then you can hit redial.
Hopefully you're in on the act.
It isn't really a test.
It is more of a getting to know you.
We want to see your zest.
We can tell if you answer with one or two.
Actually we can't.
Nope, not one bit.
I'm just a worker ant.
The computer does that shit.
You are in the system.
Now let the computer factor it all.
We'll slowly twist em.
Scrutinizing each ball.
Actually we won't.
Nope, not one bit.
Sexual harassment we don't.
The computer does that shit.
Write the big long essay.
We want to know you more.
Don't just say hey,
If you want in the door.
In the system with a click.
Your data will be computed.
Wasn't that some slick?
Reading resumes has been muted.
Hiring sure is streamlined more and more. Ever have to fill out some system crap at your shore? They ask stupid things and then if you get picked out, they'll give the same stupid questions in the interview a shout. Redundant much? Yep, more than a touch. Lazy asses let computers do all the work. Gotta have that time saving perk. They are sure taking place in mass. So annoying filling the crap out 50 times over for my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
1
ReplyDeleteFirst to the tape
DeleteNo wild scramble at the gate!
Hank
You got on in
DeleteBack to the top for a spin
This sounds like I've been through
ReplyDeleteMany times in the past.
But somehow they have given up on me,
So I'm positive it won't last.
Enjoy your week-end.
Yvonne.
Can push on through
DeleteAt any old zoo
Fill out a form
ReplyDeleteLive in a dorm
Here comes a storm
It's all the norm
All normal crap
DeleteAcross the normal map
The Lazy Joy Of The Employ!
ReplyDeleteAnd jokes of interview spoils
Weird questioning
No hard feelings
Set in not making the heart boil
Hank
Sure not making things grand
DeleteWith the crap at hand
For better or worse, I've been employed with the same company so long that I've never had to fill out an online resume.
ReplyDeletelol Damn, that's back in the ancient days
DeleteBut good not to go through the maze
I've filled out one. It wasn't fun.
ReplyDeletePain in the arse
DeleteThey sure aren't sparse
Agreed for sure, but at least
DeleteI don't have to do more
That is a perk
DeleteScrew all the work
I don't think I'd ever apply to a company that wouldn't see me personally from the start. I did get a lot of writing clients through internet contacts, but those exchanges were a lot more personal than online applications.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you'd learn and talk
DeleteNo go all auto question gawk
Hubby has applied for many a job online
ReplyDeleteDoes take a bit of time
But has gotten hired as a result
Making it very sublime
Betty
Works in the end
DeleteThat is fine trend
It's easy online
ReplyDeletewhen each feels other sight
if not - go find
a personal contact
Can toss them away
DeleteWith nothing personal in display
Working at a computer has its challenges. Not the physical labor of some jobs, but it take a mental and physical toll of a different kind.
ReplyDeleteAnd sure can be physical too
DeletePosture and the rest with the body it can screw
I hear some of the answers to the silly questions are pretty dumb!
ReplyDeleteThat they truly are
DeleteEven for a drunk at a bar
Where to be in five years?
ReplyDeleteI can't plan tomorrow!
I hate that one
DeleteThey can stuff it, bar none
I haven't searched job for years so don't have such experience. But it reminds me of automated phone system! You call and answer so many questions before reaching actual person. Then they ask the SAME question!
ReplyDeleteYep, ask or tell you the same crap
DeleteTreating you like a brain dead chap
When my daughter was looking a job I helped her make a resume and saw some of the application forms online. Some of them are crazy long.
ReplyDeleteYep, they go on and on
DeleteFrom dusk to dawn
Such a mundane disheartening process. I hate it!
ReplyDeleteHate is the right word
DeleteAs they are absurd
Yup, my daughter had to fill out a really long psychological test online just to apply for a job at a grocery store. Insanity!
ReplyDeleteNuts in can be
DeleteNow I just screw with them at my sea
I'm sort of back.
ReplyDelete"Oh, no!" you say.
"Has anything changed?"
Nope, I'm still deranged.
Deranged is fun
DeleteKnew you'd do a return run
Like Alex, my one and only resume lasted. But, I see that is all done on computer. Much easier to reject resumes that way.
ReplyDeleteYep, just say screw you
DeleteAnd away they go at their zoo
True human resources is a thing of the past
ReplyDeleteThey have no clue how to pick employees who'll last
Nope, not a clue
DeleteThat is sure true
I've never had to do that but all my children have. It's a crazy, lazy way to sort through applicants.
ReplyDeleteCrazy and lazy indeed
DeleteAs they barely even read
I shouted more than ears could scan
ReplyDeleteI even played tunes on a can
My interview spiel
For job I’m ideal
So they made me real garbage man
Got to take out the trash
DeleteHopefully no bad rash
resumes are pointless for many places now.
ReplyDeleteYep, pointless as can be
DeleteAt many a sea
I have never filled out an online application for myself, for a job, but I've helped someone do it. Does that count? :)
ReplyDeleteThat it may
DeleteAt your bay
I actually haven't applied for a job in 20 years. I love being self employed! I always hated filling out applications. Back in high school I applied for Toy's R Us and I kid you not, I had to fill out a questionnaire that was like 150 questions. Not worth it for minimum wage!
ReplyDeleteYep, so not worth it indeed
DeleteAs they make you jump through hoops at their feed
You can find all kinds of things on the internet! :)
ReplyDelete~Jess
Oh so much
DeleteWith many out of touch
I fear these long forms are nothing but intelligently designed surveys that we guys in need of jobs are made to fill in desparate times.
ReplyDeleteYep, that is all they are
DeleteGet your info and sell it to some guy that wants you to buy a car
These forms, all done by computers seems quite sad to me. There are many people that could do a job but never get it because most no longer To interviews or see people...big shame
ReplyDeleteYep, many can do it indeed
DeletePut stupid crap doesn't give them a chance at any feed
I've never had to look for a job
ReplyDeleteThey've always fallen into my lap
Can't imagine pounding the pavement
And having to deal with interview crap
Crap it truly is
DeleteHate the crappy biz