Isn't It Grand To Get A Hand?

The cat is getting handsy today. Don't go calling the SPCA. Or any other acronym thing. They don't need you to give their toll free number a ring. They'll just hand you off anyway. Okay, time for hands on play.

Who types and stands?
Give me a show of hands.
I can't see to teach.
You're out of hands reach.

I've got a hot hand now.
My win will really wow.
I lost by my own hand.
But I still took a dump in the sand.

Could use an extra pair of hands.
An octopus from far away lands.
Then I'd be ever so rare,
Going hand in hand at my lair.

Handsy with myself?
Could impress a pervert elf.
Just go hand over hand.
Hey, I never said go near a certain gland.

Wander hands may enjoy it though.
Where they wander I don't know.
Taking matters into ones own hands.
May want to be beneath the stands.

My left hand doesn't know what the right is doing.
Even if I'm out canoeing?
Why would I be hands on with that?
Canoeing doesn't equal fun for the cat.

Is one hand tied behind your back?
Kinky there at your shack.
Better than sitting on your hands.
That sure wouldn't work for bands.

The Hand Sitters.
Bet they'd be spitters.
If the band spits on you.
Hand to hand combat may come due.

I bet you'd get the upper hand.
Just make sure it is planned.
Or you may have your ass handed to you.
Now that truly would be ewww.

Looking for a hand out?
Go talk to the trout.
I am waited on hand and foot.
So I'll just hand you the bill and stay put.

Did you give me a hand? There are a few ways that can land. I have to hand it to you. You got hands on at my zoo. If a comment was handy. Otherwise you may have gotten mad there was no candy. I never said I'd hand anything out. What is handing an ass about? Do they rip off the buns and hand it over? Damn, that shouldn't even be done to rover. Did things get out of hand? Are you confused in your land? I think I'll hand it off to Cass. She can change hands with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.


  1. I'll give you a hand
    For your handy post
    Lots of hands around
    Tickled at your coast

    1. Tickled may be a finger
      But the hand still needs to linger

    2. There you go
      both handy
      at your show

  2. Speaking of ass, I never understood the phrase, 'Your ass is grass'

    1. Yeah, kinda dumb
      Do you knock them on the grass and drag them by the bum

  3. Just hand over the Mini-Alex buried in the litter box and no one gets hurt...

  4. No handouts in life it would seem.

    1. I never liked hand me down clothes as a kid

    2. Nothing will be handed
      Have to make your own things be landed

  5. Yes, I've got to hand it to you, you've covered it all!

  6. I'm clapping my hands for you.
    An award for your rhyming is surely due.
    Have a great weekend.

    1. An award with dough?
      That would be fine in tow

  7. Can't imagine typing standing up
    Would get tired of it after a bit
    I rather type as I sit


  8. Replies
    1. Where's me ship matey.. lol

      Reminds me of pirates

    2. Then what would get done?
      Do they give the feet a run?

  9. Don't hand me no line
    Don't hand me no story
    Don't want words to get out of hand

    How about this one "talk to the hand" may handy sayings

    Have a good day hope the sun comes to stay

    1. Talk to the hand
      May still not be grand
      For unless earplugs are due
      They can still rant to you lol

  10. I'm sure Jaime Lannister will give you a hand

  11. Isn't It Grand To Get A Hand?
    A thing worth the while to spend
    Get the upper hand
    Wave them the fan
    Then they'll know what you meant


  12. Jazz hands for you (I'll stick them out my sunroof in the car)
    Happy Saturday

    1. Don't hit bird poop
      When going jazzy for a loop

  13. Writing while standing?/Are you serious or bragging? :-)

    Greetings from London.

  14. Who'd a thought you could do so much with hands:)
    Kudos. Have a great weekend.

  15. Replies
    1. Can i hand it out
      Or would that make you shout?

  16. This conversation got way out of hand. lol

  17. Ha, and then there is Mr. trump with his "small hands." I know he wishes they were "bigly."

  18. He took his dear wife by the hand
    And shared with her evening so grand
    And when he was through
    When asked her review
    Said next time let’s do as you planned

  19. At least I don't have Man Hands or Seinfeld would run away from me like I'm Kesha :)

  20. Clap your hand
    To beat the band
    Point to the sky
    The answer is why.

  21. If ya give me a hand
    I might strike up the band.
    Second thought, no Judy Garland here
    Or Mickey Rooney I fear.
    They are gone and all I hear
    Are the songs they sing
    All hands on deck, to see what these 2 can bring

    1. Sure had it made
      In the shade
      Each given a hand
      Across the land

  22. A pervert elf you say?
    Do they have them at your bay?
    Never seen one myself
    I mean, a pervert elf....

    1. Never seen a one
      Even when the happy humpers are spun

  23. You certainly have fun with idioms, Pat! I could use an extra pair of hands today, because things have a way of getting out of hand for me.


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